This document discusses working with children and provides information about attachment and bonding. It notes that children need to grow up in a loving family environment for healthy development. It advocates keeping children in their own families and communities when possible. The document discusses what volunteers should know about handling children who are abused, live apart from parents, or lived on the street. It covers the effects of stress on child development and describes research being done to understand what volunteers know and need to know. The rest of the document provides in-depth information about attachment, bonding, and the impact of unsafe attachment on children's development, behavior, emotions, thoughts, relationships, and health.

1. Working with children
September 2013

2. Marie Louise Hoogveld

3. Better Care Network Netherlands
Knowledge Experience
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COMBINE
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4. The rights of the Child
Admitting that the child, for the total en
harmonic development of his personality, has
to grow up in a family-environment in an
atmosphere of happiness, love en
comprehension.
http://www.unicef.org/crc/

5. What is better care: our vision
• Prevent that children will be separated of their parents
by giving help to families .
• Keep children in their own environment by help in
their own family, community or neighborhood .
• Bring children without parental care to family or foster
family .
• If a children home is the best option : small groups and
stable care takers
• If Possible re-unite children with parents or other family
members .
• Protect the rights of children and keep their interest
always above the rights of volunteers and the
organization.

6. Activities
• Networkmeetings
• Workinggroups
• Website
• E-Newsletter
• Goodpractices
• Library for (inter)nationaldocuments
• Training for PI
• PROJECT: Volunteerwork

9. What do volonteers know about:
• Handle children who are abused.
• Handle children who do not live with their
parents.
• Handle children who have lived on the street.
• Effects of stress on the development of
children.
• ????????

10. • Interviews withvolonteers and and thosewho
are involvedwiththem.
• Interviews with the targetgroup and
receivingorganizations.
• Do’s and Dont’slist.
• Leafletfor volonteers.
Research Project

11. News from abroad

12. Silent heros
or
Naïvedabblers

13. Kenya
South Africa
Peru

14. KINDEREN

15. ORGANISATIES
Additionalhelp
Attention
Flexible
Creative
Male volonteers

16. Silent Heroes Dabblers

17. • Leaflet for volonteers
• Training
Developing:
• Leaflet for sending organizations
• Guidelines for receiving
organizations
Products

18. What must a volonteer know
know?
• Codes of conducts
• Which tasks do I
perform and which I
don’t ?
• How do I handle the
children in the project?
• Why do children
behave like they do?

19. Attachment What’s that?
• A child is born
helpless
• How can we take care
of them, that they
survive en they will
develop themselves?
• http://developingchild.harvard.edu/resources
/multimedia/videos/three_core_concepts/

20. Attachment and Bondage
• “There is no such thing as a baby. There is only a
mother and child couple” (Winnicott 1958)
• “ Children survive by attachment ” (Bowlby)
Attachment is a surviving
strategy !
CHILD
PARENT
ATTACHMENTBONDING

21. • Nearly all children are
attached at the age of 7
months, mostly to a small
group of people .
How does that work ?

22. SAFE Attachment
Baby plays
and reacts
on the
caretaker
Baby
rests
Baby
experiences
discomfort and
hunger
Baby protests
mostly by crying
Baby calms
down and
trusts the
caretaker
Caretaker reacts mostly by
picking Up, hugging and
taking care etc.

23. The caretaker says and
thinks …
_You are special
– I Think you are
important !
– I always think
about you
– I love you

24. Normal attachment
•
• Baby: knows already soon difference between different
faces.
• 3 months: reacts on every human contact and is OK
with a stranger. The person you don’t see does not
exist.
• 6-7 months: special attachment to one or two people
is feeling unhappy until that person comes back
• 10 tot 18 months:
Intensive attachment
Separation anxiety
Is crying until a special person comes back
What you don’t see does still exist: crying is
helpful
• 2½ until 3 years: stable attached so can explore the
environment
• 3 until 5 years: can save themselves in the outside
worldand feels safe in new situations .

25. ATTACHMENT: HOW THIS OCCURS
Pint of view from the child
Needs
Disconfort
Needs
Fulfilled
Quiet
Trust
Safety
Bonding

26. BONDING: HOW THIS OCCURS
Point of view from the adult
Parent gives positive
attention
Self Confidence
Self Esteem
Child reacts positive

27. What happens if you can’t trust the
caretakers or you cannot predict
their behaviour? If children
experience stress ?
or
There are all the time new primary
caretakers like volunteers for 3
weeks , placement students for 2
months ?
http://developingchild.harvard.edu/resources/multimedia/videos/three_core_conce
pts/toxic_stress/

28. = UNSAFE BONDING
Baby
rests
Baby playsalone
and stops
withreactions
Baby gives up the
confidence and
develops anger
Caretakerreactsevery
time different orangry
Baby crieslouder
Caretaker does not
react or reacts not
regularly
Baby protests
and cries
Babydoes
notfeelwell

29. • Safe: the child trust thatcaretakerswillreact on
his needs
• Fearful: The child is unsureif the
caretakerswillreact on his needs
• Avoiding : The childbelievesthat the
caretakerswillreactwithrefusal.
• Desorganized: The child is is in
confusionabout the reactions of the
caretakers .
29
4 ways of attachment

30. Core beliefs of children
Safe
•I: I
amgoodwanted, important
worthwile to beloved .
•caretakers : Theyreact well
on myneeds , they are
sensitive to betrusted and
stable and caring
•Life : the world is safe andit
is worthtwileto live:
Unsafe
•I: ik am bad
, notwanted, without hope
and notworthwile to beloved.
•Caretakers :
Theydon’tunderstandmyneeds
, not sensitive, not to
betrusted, theycanharmyou.
•Life: The world is
unsafe, life is painful and a
burden.
30

31. Attachment problems
Behaviour
•Attacking or defending
•Destructive
•LieingandsteelingAgres
sive , abusing
•Hyperactive
•Selfdestructive
•Cruel to animals
•Irresponsible
•Making fires
Emotions
•Intense fears and bad
moods
•Sad, depressiveand
without hope
• Unstable
•Afraid for everything
•Quickly irritated
• Wrong reaction on
events .
31

32. Attachment problems
Thougts
• Is thinking bad
abouthimself, about
relations andabout life in
general ,
•Doesnotunderstandcaus
eandconsequence
• Attention
andlearningproblems .
Relations
• No trust
•Bossy
•Manipulative
•Doesnotgive or
receiveaffection
•Doesnot make
anydifferencebetweenpeople
, is running toeverybody
•Changingfriendsall the time
•Blamesotherpeopleforownmi
stakesandproblems
32

33. Attchment problems
Physically
•bad hygiene
•Don’twant to
betouched.
•Bed peeing and
pantspooping
•manyaccidents
•High pain threshold
•Depressive or
hyperactive
Moral/ Spiritual
• No selfconfidence
•nocompassion.
•Does notunderstand
the
differencebetweengood
and bad.
•Identificationwith the
evil and dark side of life
33

34. • Independence and autonomy.
• Can cope with problems.
• Can regulate impulses and feelings .
• Can build up stable relationships with caretakers , parents and other
guiding persons.
• Social behavior in different situations .
• Trust intimacy and affection .
• Belief in himself and society .
• Empathy compassion .
• Good behavior and good performance in education
• Attachment with own children
Safely attached children are doing better
:

35. “We are herefortwo weeks in the children home and there
is onechildwhat does notreactonothers
Marjadecided to take care of the child, she is the whole
dage busywith her and the childstayswith her the whole
time
It is Marvelous to seethat the child starts to feel more safe

36. “We are leaving time is up.
When we are drivingaway we hear the
littlechildcrieing: “Mami, mami".
Howdifficult is that.”

37. vulnerable children
Repeated separation
Aids orphantourism:
“A threat to youngchildren in residential care” (2010)