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Harness the Power of Positive
          Thinking
             Presented by
    Sylvia Lane and Michelle Baca
           January 21, 2009
Our Objective
• To help you produce positive
  results in your life and your work
  by giving you access to more
  power and positivity when you
  need it



                                        www.convergencecoaching.com
                       ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009
                                                    All rights reserved.
Our Agenda
• How negative thought patterns are formed
• How to transform negative thought patterns into
  positive ones
• Centering techniques including meditation and
  spiritual practices/prayer
• Methods for creating positive results including
  visualization and goal-setting




                                                  www.convergencecoaching.com
                                 ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009
                                                              All rights reserved.
Poll #1
• What prevents you from staying positive? Check any
  of the following that apply:
   – Negative co-workers and/or family members
   – You’re mind is always racing
   – Negative messages from television, newspapers, and other
     media sources
   – You feel like you don’t have control over the things that
     happen in your life
   – Self-defeating thoughts (I should have... I’ll never be able
     to)
   – You’re overwhelmed by all the things on your to-do list
   – Other


                                                          www.convergencecoaching.com
                                         ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009
                                                                      All rights reserved.
Let’s Get Centered
• One technique for reducing stress and
  generating positive thinking is getting
  centered
  – We’ll use centering to get present and focus on our
    session today
• The purpose here is to focus the mind, to
  allow more clarity by honing in on one
  particular thought or image
  – It does not make the others go away
  – It draws the attention to the chosen thought or
    image
                                                  www.convergencecoaching.com
                                 ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009
                                                              All rights reserved.
Let’s Get Centered
• We’ll focus on getting “clear” and open to the
  ideas of this session
• We’ll use a breathing technique to help center
  ourselves
  – Close your eyes and focus on your breath
  – Inhale deeply through your nose for a count of
    5-10 seconds
  – Hold for 1-2 seconds
  – Exhale deeply through your mouth
  – Repeat
                                                  www.convergencecoaching.com
                                 ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009
                                                              All rights reserved.
Transforming Negative Thought
  Patterns into Positive Ones
The Little Voice
In Our Heads
• When you're stressed, there is negative "self
  talk" in your head
• That little voice often tells us things that are
  not necessarily helpful
• When you're under a lot of stress, your mind
  is on auto pilot
• When you are on autopilot – that negative
  self-talk (the stories we tell ourselves)
  becomes our “truth”
                                                www.convergencecoaching.com
                               ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009
                                                            All rights reserved.
You’re Not The
Only One!
• Everybody has the little voice in their heads
• Our minds race with an enormous amount of
  internal dialogue
• We are all the products of years of
  “programming” that have molded our
  internal dialogue
• It becomes so deeply ingrained that it is like a
  CD playing over and over again in our heads

                                                www.convergencecoaching.com
                               ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009
                                                            All rights reserved.
Awareness Is Key

• As soon as you become aware that your
  mind is on “auto-pilot,” you have an
  opportunity to reduce your stress
• The voice in your head is not you
  – Stop and listen to what the voice is saying
  – Simply notice without judgment
  – Practice quieting the mind




                                                         www.convergencecoaching.com
                                        ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009
                                                                     All rights reserved.
Forms of Negative
Self-Talk
• Sometimes negative self-talk just means
  that your own misperceptions, lack of
  information, and distorted ideas have
  overpowered your capacity for logic
  and reason




                                          www.convergencecoaching.com
                         ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009
                                                      All rights reserved.
I have been through some terrible
 things in my life, some of which
        actually happened
                      Mark Twain
Forms of Negative
Self-Talk
• Forms of negative self-talk include:
  – Filtering: You magnify the negative aspects of a
    situation and filter out the positive ones
  – Personalizing: When something bad occurs, you
    automatically blame yourself
  – Catastrophizing: You automatically anticipate the
    worst
  – Polarizing: You see things only as either good or
    bad

                                                    www.convergencecoaching.com
     Adapted from MayoClinic.com   ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009
                                                                All rights reserved.
Poll #2
• Which form of negative self-talk are you most guilty
  of?
   – Filtering: You magnify the negative aspects of a
     situation and filter out the positive ones
   – Personalizing: When something bad occurs, you
     automatically blame yourself
   – Catastrophizing: You automatically anticipate the
     worst
   – Polarizing: You see things only as either good or
     bad
                                                   www.convergencecoaching.com
                                  ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009
                                                               All rights reserved.
How Our Thought
Patterns Were Created
• It helps to consider where the negative
  thought patterns came from in order to
  understand why they are powerful, deeply
  ingrained and difficult to shift
• Understanding how negative thought
  patterns are formed helps us understand how
  to “flip” them and create more positive
  thought patterns

                                             www.convergencecoaching.com
                            ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009
                                                         All rights reserved.
How Our Thought
Patterns Were Created
• Modeling
   – We learn and model people of influence in our lives such as
     parents, teachers, peers, bosses, co-workers, and siblings
• Personal Experience
   – Our thoughts are based on past experience and the evidence
     that we have seen
   – Repeated failure creates negative thinking and similarly
     repeated success creates positive thinking
• The Stories We Hear
   – We base our beliefs on the stories we hear of others’
     experiences
   – Sometimes they become our truth, especially in the absence
     of evidence to the contrary                     www.convergencecoaching.com
                                             ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009
                                                                          All rights reserved.
How Our Thought
Patterns Were Created
• Physical Programming
  – Our bodies are very perceptive and responsive
  – Our physical experiences affect and shape our thought
    patterns
     • Experiences that create open, good physical sensations
       encourage positive thought patterns (endorphin-
       producing exercise, enjoying or playing music, singing,
       playing a favorite sport, being “in the zone,” physical
       touch and closeness)
     • Experiences that produce negative physical responses
       encourage negative thought patterns (bodily stress
       responses like racing heart, upset stomach, tension,
       violence, physical and/or verbal abuse)
                                                       www.convergencecoaching.com
                                      ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009
                                                                   All rights reserved.
How Our Thought
Patterns Were Created
• Quantum Physics and the Law of
  Attraction
  – Thoughts have an energy that attracts like
    energy
  – You are like a human transmission tower,
    attracting more of what you focus your
    thoughts and attention on


                                              www.convergencecoaching.com
                             ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009
                                                          All rights reserved.
The greatest weapon against
 stress and biggest opportunity
  for positivity is our ability to
choose one thought over another.


                      - William James
Interpretations

• Now that you understand how your
  thoughts are formed, you can see that:
  – You have many filters in which you listen
    and receive information
  – You apply the information you receive
    based on your past experiences or those of
    others
  – There are many ways to interpret any
    given situation                          www.convergencecoaching.com
                            ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009
                                                             All rights reserved.
Interpretations
Can Be Tricky!
• It is worth developing a number of potential ways to
  view an issue before identifying your approach to it
• We suggest you play an interpretations game
   – You will see that there are many potential reasons or causes
     for each issue and different ways to view it
   – Use the interpretations game to vent your negative feelings
     and see that there are other possible ways to view each
     situation that are worth exploring




                                                         www.convergencecoaching.com
                                        ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009
                                                                     All rights reserved.
Then Pick a New
Interpretation
• You can affect your response to stress by
  adjusting your chosen version of the “truth”
  and:
  – Choose the most positive interpretations
  – Become 100% responsible for everything going on
    in your life!
  – Look at situations from another’s perspective
  – Let go of control and perfectionism
  – Work to eliminate “should,” “must, “ “never,”
    “always,” and any other self-defeating words
    from your vocabulary                   www.convergencecoaching.com
                                       ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009
                                                                    All rights reserved.
Then Pick a New
Interpretation
 – See the glass as half full
 – Have a sense of humor – especially when
   you don’t feel like laughing!
 – Reframe problems as opportunities
 – Focus on the long-term and how relevant
   (or irrelevant) this problem will be in a
   month or year
 – Learn to forgive

                                             www.convergencecoaching.com
                            ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009
                                                         All rights reserved.
Whenever a negative thought
 concerning your personal power
comes to mind, deliberately voice
  a positive thought to cancel it
               out.
                Norman Vincent Peale
Centering On
The Positive
• Centering is important to focus your thoughts and
  relax your body and we already explored breathing as
  one form
• There are a number of other centering practices
• Meditation
   – Choose a place that is quiet and free from distractions
   – Sit in silence or choose a particular sound or word that you
     can begin to repeat to yourself with a comfortable rhythm and
     frequency that feels comfortable for you
   – You may find yourself drifting into a state somewhere
     between being awake and asleep - let that be OK

                                                         www.convergencecoaching.com
                                        ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009
                                                                     All rights reserved.
Centering On
The Positive
• Spiritual Practice/Prayer
   – A centering activity advocated by spiritual teachers or established
     religious organizations
       • The most common form is centering through prayer
   – Usually spiritual practice begins with sitting or kneeling, closing
     the eyes, folding the hands, and reciting silently or out loud some
     specific words or phrases that create a feeling of connection with a
     higher power
   – The energy seems to be accelerated when practiced with a group
• Affirmations
   – Create positive statements to support a desired result
       • Avoid negative language and refocus on the positive
       • One of the first affirmations taught to children in the U.S. is “I think I
         can” from the Little Train That Could
   – Post affirmations in visible places so you are reminded of them
     frequently

                                                                     www.convergencecoaching.com
                                                    ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009
                                                                                 All rights reserved.
Centering On
The Positive
• Visualization
   – Mentally imagine a picture of a desired positive result
   – Feel or experience the result
       • Even what you would see, hear, taste, and smell
   – Express gratitude for the change as though it has already
     taken place
• Goal Setting
   – Create a clear vision of your positive result with plans and
     activities that will get you there
   – Develop timelines and specific measures or results
   – Share these with someone else and keep that person
     updated on your progress – celebrate results!
                                                            www.convergencecoaching.com
                                           ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009
                                                                        All rights reserved.
Happiness is when what you
think, what you say, and what
    you do are in harmony.
                   Gandhi
Inspired Action
• It is not enough to visualize and recite
  affirmations
   – You must be willing to take action and seize
     opportunities when they present themselves
   – It takes courage – the willingness to act even in the
     face of fear and uncertainty
• You can’t afford to
   –   Wait for “the right time”
   –   Let your doubts get in the way
   –   Second guess yourself
   –   Waste time trying to get it perfect            www.convergencecoaching.com
                                     ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009
                                                                  All rights reserved.
Identify An Inspired
Action Step
• Think about something that you would like to
  accomplish
   – Visualize the end result
   – What will it be like, feel like, how will things be different?
• What action step could you take towards achieving
  your goal?
   – Do not let yourself be stopped by the “what ifs,” “yeah
     buts,” and the “I’ll wait until the time is right” syndrome




                                                            www.convergencecoaching.com
                                           ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009
                                                                        All rights reserved.
A leader has to be positive about
  all things that happen to his
  team. Look at nothing in the
         past as a failure.
                  Mike Krzyzewski (Coach K)
          USA Olympic Basketball Team Coach
Mirroring Expected
Behavior
• Mirror leadership behavior and watch your
  own stress reflections more carefully
  – If you’re snippy, grouchy, high-strung, defeatist,
    short, or otherwise “stressed out” – count on those
    around you to react similarly
• During periods of stress, you need to model
  positive behavior more than any other time
  – Those around you will follow your lead and need
    someone to demonstrate a can-do attitude
  – Make sure you’re practicing the individual stress
    management techniques outlined previously or
    the rest of these ideas are moot!      www.convergencecoaching.com
                                       ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009
                                                                    All rights reserved.
Next Steps
Where Do You Start?
 Pay attention to times when you feel negative and
  practice identifying the trigger for your negativity
 Pay attention to times when you feel especially positive
  and practice identifying the circumstances and thought
  patterns that produce that state of mind
 Find ways that you can reduce stress for yourself
    Exercise, eat better, sleep more, etc.
 Commit to practice positive thinking and adopt new
  habits such as meditation, visualization, and taking
  inspired action steps

                                                    www.convergencecoaching.com
                                   ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009
                                                                All rights reserved.
Make One Commitment
• Managing stress and adopting a positive outlook and
  attitude requires ongoing attention – it is the only
  way to have it all!
• Identify what you want to undertake – personally or
  organizationally – and then commit
   – No “trying” allowed!
   – Trying means you’re not going to do it or that
      something can knock that commitment down

           “Do or do not. There is no try”
                           - Jedi Master Yoda


                                                   www.convergencecoaching.com
                                  ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009
                                                               All rights reserved.
Poll #3
• Which one idea to help maintain a positive outlook
  can you commit to explore out of this web seminar?
  (check only one)
   – Reduce your stress level by exercising more,
     sleeping more, and eating more healthfully
   – Begin practicing quieting the mind and “watching
     your thoughts”
   – Post affirmations in visible places so you are
     reminded of them frequently
   – Begin doing a daily centering or meditation
     practice
   – Identify the first action step towards one of your
     goals and set a by-date to complete it by
   – Other                                             www.convergencecoaching.com
                                      ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009
                                                                      All rights reserved.
Questions?
Thank You!
• Contact us at any time!

               Michelle Baca
              (505) 217-2094
    Michelle@convergencecoaching.com

                Sylvia Lane
              (949) 443-3915
     Sylvia@convergencecoaching.com
                                             www.convergencecoaching.com
                            ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009
                                                         All rights reserved.
Resources




                         www.convergencecoaching.com
        ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009
                                     All rights reserved.
ConvergenceCoaching
Resources
• ConvergenceCoaching’s web site includes
  articles and tools related to positive thinking
  and managing stress
   – www.convergencecoaching.com
• Visit our blog for posts on topics such as:
   –   Resolving To Be Positive in 2009
   –   Maintaining Your Mojo
   –   How Positive Are You?
   –   Believe!
   –   Is Busy A Good Thing?
   –   http://blog.convergencecoaching.com        www.convergencecoaching.com
                                 ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009
                                                              All rights reserved.
Stress Management
Resources
• Annual "Attitudes In The American Workplace"
  Gallup Poll sponsored by the Marlin Company
• American Institute of Stress at www.stress.org
• American Psychological Association Help Center at
  www.apahelpcenter.org
• “Can stress actually be good for you?” by Jane
  Weaver, www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15818153/
• “Desk rage: Workers Gone Wild” by Jacqueline
  Stenson, www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15814840/
                                                   www.convergencecoaching.com
                                  ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009
                                                               All rights reserved.
Stress Management
Resources
• HelpGuide.org
• Institute for Management Excellence at
  www.itstime.com/oct2002.htm
• Managing Job Stress: 10 Strategies for Coping and
  Thriving at Work by Randall S. Hansen, Ph.D.,
  www.quintcareers.com/printable/managing_job_str
  ess.html
• MindTools at www.mindtools.com/smpage.html
• Mountain State Centers for Independent Living at
  www.mtstcil.org/skills/stress-intro.html
                                                  www.convergencecoaching.com
                                 ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009
                                                              All rights reserved.
Stress Management
Resources
• National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health (NIOSH)
  at www.cdc.gov/niosh/stresswk.html
• Revolution Health at www.revolutionhealth.com
• Spiritual Depression by Lloyd-James, D. Martyn  (Erdmans
  Printing 1965)
• The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People:  Powerful Lessons in
  Personal Change by Stephen Covey (Simon and Schuster, 1989)
• University of Maryland Medical Center at
  www.umm.edu/patiented/articles/what_stress_000031_1.htm




                                                        www.convergencecoaching.com
                                       ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009
                                                                    All rights reserved.
Positive Thinking
Resources
• Successconsciousness.com - Awakening the wisdom
  and power within you
• Taming Your Gremlin by Rick Carson (Harper
  Collins, New York, 2003)
• The Art of Possibility by Benjamin Zander and
  Rosamund Stone (Penguin Books, 2002)
• The Field by Lynne McTaggart (Harper Collins, 2002)
• The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle (New World
  Library, 1999)

                                                 www.convergencecoaching.com
                                 ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009
                                                              All rights reserved.
Positive Thinking
Resources
• The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent
  Peale (Fireside Press, New York, 2003)
• The Secret by Rhonda Byrne (Atria Books, New York,
  2006)
• Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill (Napoleon
  Hill 1937)
• Wikipedia: The Free Encyclopedia
  www.wikipedia.org
• MayoClinic.com at
  http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/positive-
  thinking/SR00009
                                                 www.convergencecoaching.com
                                ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009
                                                             All rights reserved.
Conflict Management
Resources
• Conflict Resolution Network at
  www.crnhq.org/windskill1.html
• www.ctic.purdue.edu/KYW/Brochure
  s/ManageConflict.html
• www.freebizplan.org/business_strategi
  es/management/conflict.htm
• The Heart of a Leader by Ken
  Blanchard (1999)
                                         www.convergencecoaching.com
                        ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009
                                                     All rights reserved.
Conflict Management
Resources
• Management by Kathryn M. Bartol and
  David C. Martin (Irwin McGraw-Hill, 1998)
• Ohio Commission on Dispute Resolution at
  www.state.oh.us/cdr/schools/contentpages
  /styles.htm
• Primal Leadership by Daniel Goleman,
  Richard Boyatzis, & Annie McKee (Harvard
  Business School Press, 2002)
                                             www.convergencecoaching.com
                            ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009
                                                         All rights reserved.
Organizational Change
Resources
• Deloitte & Touche, LLP
   – www.deloitte.com/dtt/cda/doc/content/2005_WIN_Annual
     _Report.pdf
• “How Employers Can Win the Talent Quest – Book
  Summary On Keeping the People Who Keep You in
  Business.” Leigh Branham.
  http://www.businessweek.com/smallbiz/content/ja
  n2001/sb2001014_851.htm
• Managing in the Age of Change: Essential Skills to Manage
  Today's Workforce, Roger A. Ritvo, Anne Litwin, and
  Lee Butler, editors: IRWIN Professional Publishing
• Rupert & Company FlexWise Programs
   – flextools.rupertandcompany.com/preview/approach.htm
                                                     www.convergencecoaching.com
                                    ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009
                                                                 All rights reserved.

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Positive thinking

  • 1. Harness the Power of Positive Thinking Presented by Sylvia Lane and Michelle Baca January 21, 2009
  • 2. Our Objective • To help you produce positive results in your life and your work by giving you access to more power and positivity when you need it www.convergencecoaching.com ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009 All rights reserved.
  • 3. Our Agenda • How negative thought patterns are formed • How to transform negative thought patterns into positive ones • Centering techniques including meditation and spiritual practices/prayer • Methods for creating positive results including visualization and goal-setting www.convergencecoaching.com ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009 All rights reserved.
  • 4. Poll #1 • What prevents you from staying positive? Check any of the following that apply: – Negative co-workers and/or family members – You’re mind is always racing – Negative messages from television, newspapers, and other media sources – You feel like you don’t have control over the things that happen in your life – Self-defeating thoughts (I should have... I’ll never be able to) – You’re overwhelmed by all the things on your to-do list – Other www.convergencecoaching.com ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009 All rights reserved.
  • 5. Let’s Get Centered • One technique for reducing stress and generating positive thinking is getting centered – We’ll use centering to get present and focus on our session today • The purpose here is to focus the mind, to allow more clarity by honing in on one particular thought or image – It does not make the others go away – It draws the attention to the chosen thought or image www.convergencecoaching.com ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009 All rights reserved.
  • 6. Let’s Get Centered • We’ll focus on getting “clear” and open to the ideas of this session • We’ll use a breathing technique to help center ourselves – Close your eyes and focus on your breath – Inhale deeply through your nose for a count of 5-10 seconds – Hold for 1-2 seconds – Exhale deeply through your mouth – Repeat www.convergencecoaching.com ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009 All rights reserved.
  • 7. Transforming Negative Thought Patterns into Positive Ones
  • 8. The Little Voice In Our Heads • When you're stressed, there is negative "self talk" in your head • That little voice often tells us things that are not necessarily helpful • When you're under a lot of stress, your mind is on auto pilot • When you are on autopilot – that negative self-talk (the stories we tell ourselves) becomes our “truth” www.convergencecoaching.com ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009 All rights reserved.
  • 9. You’re Not The Only One! • Everybody has the little voice in their heads • Our minds race with an enormous amount of internal dialogue • We are all the products of years of “programming” that have molded our internal dialogue • It becomes so deeply ingrained that it is like a CD playing over and over again in our heads www.convergencecoaching.com ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009 All rights reserved.
  • 10. Awareness Is Key • As soon as you become aware that your mind is on “auto-pilot,” you have an opportunity to reduce your stress • The voice in your head is not you – Stop and listen to what the voice is saying – Simply notice without judgment – Practice quieting the mind www.convergencecoaching.com ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009 All rights reserved.
  • 11. Forms of Negative Self-Talk • Sometimes negative self-talk just means that your own misperceptions, lack of information, and distorted ideas have overpowered your capacity for logic and reason www.convergencecoaching.com ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009 All rights reserved.
  • 12. I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened Mark Twain
  • 13. Forms of Negative Self-Talk • Forms of negative self-talk include: – Filtering: You magnify the negative aspects of a situation and filter out the positive ones – Personalizing: When something bad occurs, you automatically blame yourself – Catastrophizing: You automatically anticipate the worst – Polarizing: You see things only as either good or bad www.convergencecoaching.com Adapted from MayoClinic.com ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009 All rights reserved.
  • 14. Poll #2 • Which form of negative self-talk are you most guilty of? – Filtering: You magnify the negative aspects of a situation and filter out the positive ones – Personalizing: When something bad occurs, you automatically blame yourself – Catastrophizing: You automatically anticipate the worst – Polarizing: You see things only as either good or bad www.convergencecoaching.com ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009 All rights reserved.
  • 15. How Our Thought Patterns Were Created • It helps to consider where the negative thought patterns came from in order to understand why they are powerful, deeply ingrained and difficult to shift • Understanding how negative thought patterns are formed helps us understand how to “flip” them and create more positive thought patterns www.convergencecoaching.com ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009 All rights reserved.
  • 16. How Our Thought Patterns Were Created • Modeling – We learn and model people of influence in our lives such as parents, teachers, peers, bosses, co-workers, and siblings • Personal Experience – Our thoughts are based on past experience and the evidence that we have seen – Repeated failure creates negative thinking and similarly repeated success creates positive thinking • The Stories We Hear – We base our beliefs on the stories we hear of others’ experiences – Sometimes they become our truth, especially in the absence of evidence to the contrary www.convergencecoaching.com ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009 All rights reserved.
  • 17. How Our Thought Patterns Were Created • Physical Programming – Our bodies are very perceptive and responsive – Our physical experiences affect and shape our thought patterns • Experiences that create open, good physical sensations encourage positive thought patterns (endorphin- producing exercise, enjoying or playing music, singing, playing a favorite sport, being “in the zone,” physical touch and closeness) • Experiences that produce negative physical responses encourage negative thought patterns (bodily stress responses like racing heart, upset stomach, tension, violence, physical and/or verbal abuse) www.convergencecoaching.com ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009 All rights reserved.
  • 18. How Our Thought Patterns Were Created • Quantum Physics and the Law of Attraction – Thoughts have an energy that attracts like energy – You are like a human transmission tower, attracting more of what you focus your thoughts and attention on www.convergencecoaching.com ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009 All rights reserved.
  • 19. The greatest weapon against stress and biggest opportunity for positivity is our ability to choose one thought over another. - William James
  • 20. Interpretations • Now that you understand how your thoughts are formed, you can see that: – You have many filters in which you listen and receive information – You apply the information you receive based on your past experiences or those of others – There are many ways to interpret any given situation www.convergencecoaching.com ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009 All rights reserved.
  • 21. Interpretations Can Be Tricky! • It is worth developing a number of potential ways to view an issue before identifying your approach to it • We suggest you play an interpretations game – You will see that there are many potential reasons or causes for each issue and different ways to view it – Use the interpretations game to vent your negative feelings and see that there are other possible ways to view each situation that are worth exploring www.convergencecoaching.com ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009 All rights reserved.
  • 22. Then Pick a New Interpretation • You can affect your response to stress by adjusting your chosen version of the “truth” and: – Choose the most positive interpretations – Become 100% responsible for everything going on in your life! – Look at situations from another’s perspective – Let go of control and perfectionism – Work to eliminate “should,” “must, “ “never,” “always,” and any other self-defeating words from your vocabulary www.convergencecoaching.com ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009 All rights reserved.
  • 23. Then Pick a New Interpretation – See the glass as half full – Have a sense of humor – especially when you don’t feel like laughing! – Reframe problems as opportunities – Focus on the long-term and how relevant (or irrelevant) this problem will be in a month or year – Learn to forgive www.convergencecoaching.com ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009 All rights reserved.
  • 24. Whenever a negative thought concerning your personal power comes to mind, deliberately voice a positive thought to cancel it out. Norman Vincent Peale
  • 25. Centering On The Positive • Centering is important to focus your thoughts and relax your body and we already explored breathing as one form • There are a number of other centering practices • Meditation – Choose a place that is quiet and free from distractions – Sit in silence or choose a particular sound or word that you can begin to repeat to yourself with a comfortable rhythm and frequency that feels comfortable for you – You may find yourself drifting into a state somewhere between being awake and asleep - let that be OK www.convergencecoaching.com ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009 All rights reserved.
  • 26. Centering On The Positive • Spiritual Practice/Prayer – A centering activity advocated by spiritual teachers or established religious organizations • The most common form is centering through prayer – Usually spiritual practice begins with sitting or kneeling, closing the eyes, folding the hands, and reciting silently or out loud some specific words or phrases that create a feeling of connection with a higher power – The energy seems to be accelerated when practiced with a group • Affirmations – Create positive statements to support a desired result • Avoid negative language and refocus on the positive • One of the first affirmations taught to children in the U.S. is “I think I can” from the Little Train That Could – Post affirmations in visible places so you are reminded of them frequently www.convergencecoaching.com ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009 All rights reserved.
  • 27. Centering On The Positive • Visualization – Mentally imagine a picture of a desired positive result – Feel or experience the result • Even what you would see, hear, taste, and smell – Express gratitude for the change as though it has already taken place • Goal Setting – Create a clear vision of your positive result with plans and activities that will get you there – Develop timelines and specific measures or results – Share these with someone else and keep that person updated on your progress – celebrate results! www.convergencecoaching.com ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009 All rights reserved.
  • 28. Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony. Gandhi
  • 29. Inspired Action • It is not enough to visualize and recite affirmations – You must be willing to take action and seize opportunities when they present themselves – It takes courage – the willingness to act even in the face of fear and uncertainty • You can’t afford to – Wait for “the right time” – Let your doubts get in the way – Second guess yourself – Waste time trying to get it perfect www.convergencecoaching.com ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009 All rights reserved.
  • 30. Identify An Inspired Action Step • Think about something that you would like to accomplish – Visualize the end result – What will it be like, feel like, how will things be different? • What action step could you take towards achieving your goal? – Do not let yourself be stopped by the “what ifs,” “yeah buts,” and the “I’ll wait until the time is right” syndrome www.convergencecoaching.com ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009 All rights reserved.
  • 31. A leader has to be positive about all things that happen to his team. Look at nothing in the past as a failure. Mike Krzyzewski (Coach K) USA Olympic Basketball Team Coach
  • 32. Mirroring Expected Behavior • Mirror leadership behavior and watch your own stress reflections more carefully – If you’re snippy, grouchy, high-strung, defeatist, short, or otherwise “stressed out” – count on those around you to react similarly • During periods of stress, you need to model positive behavior more than any other time – Those around you will follow your lead and need someone to demonstrate a can-do attitude – Make sure you’re practicing the individual stress management techniques outlined previously or the rest of these ideas are moot! www.convergencecoaching.com ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009 All rights reserved.
  • 34. Where Do You Start?  Pay attention to times when you feel negative and practice identifying the trigger for your negativity  Pay attention to times when you feel especially positive and practice identifying the circumstances and thought patterns that produce that state of mind  Find ways that you can reduce stress for yourself  Exercise, eat better, sleep more, etc.  Commit to practice positive thinking and adopt new habits such as meditation, visualization, and taking inspired action steps www.convergencecoaching.com ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009 All rights reserved.
  • 35. Make One Commitment • Managing stress and adopting a positive outlook and attitude requires ongoing attention – it is the only way to have it all! • Identify what you want to undertake – personally or organizationally – and then commit – No “trying” allowed! – Trying means you’re not going to do it or that something can knock that commitment down “Do or do not. There is no try” - Jedi Master Yoda www.convergencecoaching.com ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009 All rights reserved.
  • 36. Poll #3 • Which one idea to help maintain a positive outlook can you commit to explore out of this web seminar? (check only one) – Reduce your stress level by exercising more, sleeping more, and eating more healthfully – Begin practicing quieting the mind and “watching your thoughts” – Post affirmations in visible places so you are reminded of them frequently – Begin doing a daily centering or meditation practice – Identify the first action step towards one of your goals and set a by-date to complete it by – Other www.convergencecoaching.com ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009 All rights reserved.
  • 38. Thank You! • Contact us at any time! Michelle Baca (505) 217-2094 Michelle@convergencecoaching.com Sylvia Lane (949) 443-3915 Sylvia@convergencecoaching.com www.convergencecoaching.com ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009 All rights reserved.
  • 39. Resources www.convergencecoaching.com ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009 All rights reserved.
  • 40. ConvergenceCoaching Resources • ConvergenceCoaching’s web site includes articles and tools related to positive thinking and managing stress – www.convergencecoaching.com • Visit our blog for posts on topics such as: – Resolving To Be Positive in 2009 – Maintaining Your Mojo – How Positive Are You? – Believe! – Is Busy A Good Thing? – http://blog.convergencecoaching.com www.convergencecoaching.com ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009 All rights reserved.
  • 41. Stress Management Resources • Annual "Attitudes In The American Workplace" Gallup Poll sponsored by the Marlin Company • American Institute of Stress at www.stress.org • American Psychological Association Help Center at www.apahelpcenter.org • “Can stress actually be good for you?” by Jane Weaver, www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15818153/ • “Desk rage: Workers Gone Wild” by Jacqueline Stenson, www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15814840/ www.convergencecoaching.com ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009 All rights reserved.
  • 42. Stress Management Resources • HelpGuide.org • Institute for Management Excellence at www.itstime.com/oct2002.htm • Managing Job Stress: 10 Strategies for Coping and Thriving at Work by Randall S. Hansen, Ph.D., www.quintcareers.com/printable/managing_job_str ess.html • MindTools at www.mindtools.com/smpage.html • Mountain State Centers for Independent Living at www.mtstcil.org/skills/stress-intro.html www.convergencecoaching.com ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009 All rights reserved.
  • 43. Stress Management Resources • National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health (NIOSH) at www.cdc.gov/niosh/stresswk.html • Revolution Health at www.revolutionhealth.com • Spiritual Depression by Lloyd-James, D. Martyn  (Erdmans Printing 1965) • The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People:  Powerful Lessons in Personal Change by Stephen Covey (Simon and Schuster, 1989) • University of Maryland Medical Center at www.umm.edu/patiented/articles/what_stress_000031_1.htm www.convergencecoaching.com ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009 All rights reserved.
  • 44. Positive Thinking Resources • Successconsciousness.com - Awakening the wisdom and power within you • Taming Your Gremlin by Rick Carson (Harper Collins, New York, 2003) • The Art of Possibility by Benjamin Zander and Rosamund Stone (Penguin Books, 2002) • The Field by Lynne McTaggart (Harper Collins, 2002) • The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle (New World Library, 1999) www.convergencecoaching.com ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009 All rights reserved.
  • 45. Positive Thinking Resources • The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale (Fireside Press, New York, 2003) • The Secret by Rhonda Byrne (Atria Books, New York, 2006) • Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill (Napoleon Hill 1937) • Wikipedia: The Free Encyclopedia www.wikipedia.org • MayoClinic.com at http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/positive- thinking/SR00009 www.convergencecoaching.com ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009 All rights reserved.
  • 46. Conflict Management Resources • Conflict Resolution Network at www.crnhq.org/windskill1.html • www.ctic.purdue.edu/KYW/Brochure s/ManageConflict.html • www.freebizplan.org/business_strategi es/management/conflict.htm • The Heart of a Leader by Ken Blanchard (1999) www.convergencecoaching.com ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009 All rights reserved.
  • 47. Conflict Management Resources • Management by Kathryn M. Bartol and David C. Martin (Irwin McGraw-Hill, 1998) • Ohio Commission on Dispute Resolution at www.state.oh.us/cdr/schools/contentpages /styles.htm • Primal Leadership by Daniel Goleman, Richard Boyatzis, & Annie McKee (Harvard Business School Press, 2002) www.convergencecoaching.com ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009 All rights reserved.
  • 48. Organizational Change Resources • Deloitte & Touche, LLP – www.deloitte.com/dtt/cda/doc/content/2005_WIN_Annual _Report.pdf • “How Employers Can Win the Talent Quest – Book Summary On Keeping the People Who Keep You in Business.” Leigh Branham. http://www.businessweek.com/smallbiz/content/ja n2001/sb2001014_851.htm • Managing in the Age of Change: Essential Skills to Manage Today's Workforce, Roger A. Ritvo, Anne Litwin, and Lee Butler, editors: IRWIN Professional Publishing • Rupert & Company FlexWise Programs – flextools.rupertandcompany.com/preview/approach.htm www.convergencecoaching.com ŠCopyright ConvergenceCoaching, LLC 2002-2009 All rights reserved.