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How to Write a Personal 
Statement 
September 12, 2014 
Elena González Rivera, Ed. D.
Overview and Objectives of the 
Workshop 
 Define what a personal statement is 
 Discuss things to avoid 
 Discuss ways of gathering information 
for each paragraph of the essay 
 Select stylistic tools 
 Practice writing
Part 1 
 Definition of Personal Statement
Definition of Personal 
Statement 
 How would you define it?
Definition of Personal 
Statement 
A personal statement is: 
 “A picture. Provide a snapshot of who you are as a 
person. 
 An invitation. Your job is to ‘bridge the assumed 
distance of strangers.’ Invite your reader to get to know 
you. 
 An indication of your priorities and judgment. 
Your selection of material reveals your priorities and 
ability to discern effectively. 
 A story, or more precisely, your story. The personal 
statement allows you room for creative, meaningful self-reflection.” 
 https://www.e-education.psu.edu/writingpersonalstatementsonline/p2_p2.html 
The Penn University website entitled, “Writing Personal Statements on Line” created by Joe Schall 
includes this summary of a longer definition from the Fellowships Office at Bryn Mawr posted in the 
article "Advice from Fellowship Foundations"). http://www.wpi.edu/Academics/FS/personal.pdf
Definition of a Personal 
Statement 
A personal statement is not: 
 “An academic paper with you as the subject. The objective 
distance of academic writing disengages the reader from you in 
a personal statement. 
 A resume in narrative form. Other parts of your 
application, which might include a resume, already tell readers 
about your accomplishments. A personal statement must reveal 
and interpret well beyond a resume. 
 A journal entry. A common mistake is allowing your personal 
statement to read like a diary. Share only relevant material 
selectively, in a voice that remains both individual and 
professional. 
 A plea or justification. Don’t beg and don’t defend the 
(incorrect) assertion that you are more worthy than other candidates—it 
only backfires”. https://www.e-education. 
psu.edu/writingpersonalstatementsonline/p2_p2.html
Part 2 
 Characteristics of a Personal 
Statement
Characteristics of a Personal 
Statement 
 What are some of its characteristics?
Characteristics of a Good Personal 
Statement 
 Is reflective and honest 
 Strives for depth not breath 
 Answers the prompt question 
 Has a catchy introduction – engages the reader 
 Transforms shortcomings into positives 
 Shows knowledge of the institution 
 Shows a “quite confidence” 
http://students.berkeley.edu/apa/personalstatement/gettingstarted.html 
 Tells a story 
 Is specific 
 Finds an “angle” or a hook 
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/642/01/ Jo Doran, Allen 
Brizee 
 Is distinctive, unique 
http://www.indiana.edu/~wts/pamphlets/personal_statement.shtml 
 Has a focus 
http://www.cmu.edu/hpp/achieve/pstips.html
Characteristics of a Good Personal 
Statement 
 “Shows a quite confidence 
revealed through your description of 
a. lifelong interests, 
b. sustained commitment, 
c. and/or perseverance in the 
face of adversity”. 
http://students.berkeley.edu/apa/personalstatement/gettingstarted.htm
Characteristics of a Good Personal 
Statement 
Thoughtful and honest 
 “A strong personal statement is reflective; 
that is, it demonstrates that you have thought 
about and gained a clear perspective on your 
experiences and what you want in your 
future. It gives the reader a vivid and 
compelling picture of you- 
 your achievements, 
 your obstacles, 
 your goals, 
 your values”. 
 http://students.berkeley.edu/apa/personalstatement 
/gettingstarted.htm
Characteristics of a Good Personal 
Statement 
Is distinctive, unique 
 “One way to do this is to include at least 
one detailed example or anecdote that is 
specific to your own experience— 
perhaps a description of an important 
family member or personal moment that 
influenced your decision to pursue a 
particular career or degree. This strategy 
makes your statement distinctive and 
memorable”. 
http://www.indiana.edu/~wts/pamphlets/personal_statement.shtml
Part 3 
 Things to Avoid
Things to Avoid 
Ten Commandments 
 Set realistic goals not unrealistic goals like 
curing cancer/ winning a Nobel Prize. 
 Praise yourself or your school, but never idolize 
inappropriately. 
 Consider the advice of others. Don’t take 
advise lightly. 
 Remember deadlines. Don’t stretch 
deadlines. 
 Be yourself. If you are not genuine in tone, 
examples, and motivations, it will work against 
you. 
https://www.e-education. 
psu.edu/writingpersonalstatementsonline/node/1988 
Joe Schall
Things to Avoid 
Ten Commandments 
 Make sure you really want to go to graduate 
school. Don’t take somebody else’s chance 
away if you are no sure. 
 Learn to discern well. Answer the prompt 
question with relevant information. Don’t use 
irrelevant information. 
 Tell your own story. Don’t plagiarize someone 
else’s ideas. 
 Express the truth. Don’t lie or inflate. 
 Don’t envy the academic success of others. 
Half of those who start graduate school don’t 
finish. 
https://www.e-education.psu.edu/writingpersonalstatementsonline/node/1988 
Joe Schall
Things to Avoid 
 be competitive but not cocky 
 informed but not formulaic 
 https://www.e-education. 
psu.edu/writingpersonalstatementsonline/p2_p2.html 
 avoid clichés 
“A medical school applicant who writes that he is good at science 
and wants to help other people is not exactly expressing an original 
thought. Stay away from often-repeated or tired statements”. 
 Don't include some subjects 
“There are certain things best left out of personal statements. For 
example, references to experiences or accomplishments in high 
school or earlier are generally not a good idea. Don't mention 
potentially controversial subjects (for example, controversial 
religious or political issues)”. 
 http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/642/01/ Jo Doran, Allen 
Brizee 
 Avoid unnecessary duplication. 
 Maintain your statement within the limits stated. Don’t make it 
longer or shorter than specified.
Part 4 
 Gathering Information Strategy
Gathering Information & Developing a 
Theme 
 Brainstorming - 
◦ list ideas 
◦ connect those ideas (concept map) 
◦ complete a brainstorm worksheet 
https://www.e-education. 
psu.edu/writingpersonalstatementsonline/p2_p2.html
Brainstorming (handout #1) 
 “Begin by creating a brainstorm sheet. Be totally honest! 
Ask yourself the following questions, and write out your 
answers. 
 What are my strengths? What is special about me? 
 What kind of person am I? What do I care about?” 
http://students.berkeley.edu/apa/personalstatement/getti 
ngstarted.htm 
 “What's special, unique, distinctive, and/or impressive 
about you or your life story? 
 What details of your life (personal or family problems, 
history, people or events that have shaped you or 
influenced your goals) might help the committee better 
understand you or help set you apart from other 
applicants? 
 When did you become interested in the field and what have 
you learned about it (and about yourself) that has further 
stimulated your interest and reinforced your conviction that 
you are well suited to this field? What insights have you 
gained? 
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/642/01/ Jo Doran, 
Allen Brizee
Brainstorming 
 Have you had to overcome any unusual obstacles or hardships? 
 What personal characteristics (for example, integrity, 
compassion, and/or persistence) do you possess that would 
improve your prospects for success in the field or profession? 
 How have you learned about this field—through classes, 
readings, seminars, work or other experiences, or conversations 
with people already in the field? 
 If you have worked a lot during your college years, what have 
you learned (leadership, managerial, or research skills), and 
how has that work contributed to your growth? 
 What are your career goals? 
 What skills (for example, leadership, communicative, analytical) 
do you possess? 
 Why might you be a stronger candidate for graduate school— 
and more successful and effective in the profession or field than 
other applicants?” 
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/642/01/ Jo Doran, Allen Brizee
Part 5 
 Gathering Information for Each 
Paragraph
Gathering Information & Developing a 
Theme 
Introductory Paragraph: 
Articulate a Personal or Professional Inspiration 
“Some writers start with: 
◦ an inspiring quote 
◦ a narrative 
◦ others make a comment about their academic discipline 
What matters is that readers have a clear context through your opening, 
and that we understand immediately that you are talking about 
something of motivational meaning to you. 
For example: 
Briefly sketch out a positive influence: a memorable self-defining experience, a 
high school or college project that ignited deeper interest, an inspiring teacher or 
role model, a relative who followed a career path that you emulate—even a core 
theme that will carry through the rest of your essay. 
Always remember the typical fundamental goal of the opening: to provide a 
quick, meaningful snapshot of who you are as a person.” 
https://www.e-education.psu.edu/writingpersonalstatementsonline/p2_p4.html 
`
Gathering Information & Developing a 
Theme 
Second and Third Paragraphs: 
Discuss your Academic Background or 
Research as a Set of Learned Skills 
 “Readers will be most interested in 
◦ specific, skills-oriented detail 
◦ lab techniques acquired 
◦ analytical tools used 
◦ participation in team decision-making 
◦ journal research and publication experience 
◦ oral presentation skills 
◦ Think in relation to those skills most valued in your discipline, and describe 
your background in a way that highlights those attributes.” 
 “Wed the present and the future—project ahead to graduate 
research within your field...” What research would you like to do? 
https://www.e-education.
Gathering Information & Developing a 
Theme 
Fourth Paragraph: 
Establish Some Long-Term Objectives 
 Professional Goals 
◦ “ articulating a plan to continue work in a particular research area 
◦ a desire to earn a PhD or teach at the university level 
◦ future plans to work as an independent or corporate consultant” 
 Personal Goals 
◦ “to serve the public through grass-roots activism 
◦ to be the first member of a large family to earn a graduate degree 
◦ to write and publish.” 
 Keep in mind the needs of your audience here: 
“They simply wish to confirm that you have a seriousness of purpose, and that you 
have the ability to envision some concrete plans (else why would you be applying 
for graduate study?)” 
 “Your long-term objectives can usually be rendered briefly rather than expansively, 
perhaps woven into the beginning or end of your final paragraph.” 
https://www.e-education.psu.edu/writingpersonalstatementsonline/p2_p4.html
Gathering Information & Developing a 
Theme 
Concluding Paragraph: 
Close with Specifics About the Target Program or 
Scholarship 
 “Learning all you can about the target program or scholarship, which 
usually begins with a visit to the school or award website, will give you 
concrete closing material for your essay. 
◦ Some students go a step further, e-mailing professors at their target 
program or past winners of their target scholarship, 
◦ reading publications of the target program’s faculty, 
◦ or making it a point to meet grad students and faculty connected with 
the target program at a conference. Such material, of course, could be 
integrated to give natural closure to your personal essay, thus affiliating 
you with the program of choice. 
◦ Your goal is to create a personal and professional link between yourself 
and the graduate school. Go beyond simply inserting the school name 
into the final paragraph; prove that you have done your homework.” 
https://www.e-education.psu.edu/writingpersonalstatementsonline/p2_p4.html
Gathering Information & Developing a 
Theme 
Explicitly addresses the question 
(Handout #2) 
 “For example, if you are asked to 
describe your greatest 
accomplishment or any unusual 
circumstances or challenges you have 
faced, then your reader will expect you 
to use vivid language that will enable 
the reader to visualize your 
accomplishment and share your sense 
of success.” 
 http://students.berkeley.edu/apa/personalstatement/sampleessay.ht 
ml
Gathering Information & Developing a 
Theme 
Explicitly address the question 
(Handout #3) 
 “Question Summary: Describe your 
experiences in the following or describe 
how you would address the following in 
your professional career: integrating 
research and education, advancing 
diversity in science, enhancing scientific 
and technical understanding, and 
otherwise benefiting society”. 
https://www.e-education.psu.edu/writingpersonalstatementsonline/ Joe 
Schall 
Sample Essay NSF.docx
Part 6 
Stylistic Tools You Need to Consider
Stylistic Tools 
Choose a FOCUS (thesis) 
 “What is it? Focus refers to the main point of your statement. 
Sometimes it is called a theme or thesis statement. Most of 
what you say in your statement will contribute to supporting 
your focus. In the very broadest sense, the focus of all 
medical school personal statements is "Why I Should Be 
Accepted to Medical School,". However, you need to choose 
something a little more subtle and personal to make a 
positive impression. Your focus should entail a value or an 
observation that has shaped you as a person. 
 Example, most of the time a focus is an abstract quality: 
◦ the desire to help others, 
◦ the importance of individual contribution, 
◦ the drive to unite science and compassion” 
http://www.cmu.edu/hpp/achieve/pstips.html 
Carnegie Mellon Health Professions Program
Stylistic Tools 
Select an INFORMAL TONE 
 Avoiding formalities and generic phrases 
“It is with great pride and deep respect that I 
hereby do apply for the honor of the Rhodes 
Scholarship.” 
 Assume a respectful individual tone 
“I look forward to the challenges that this project 
presents as well as the opportunities for further 
maturation as a practicing scientist.” 
 Use an informal tone 
◦ “to facilitate clear narrative; 
◦ to involve yourself as a character in the action…” 
https://www.e-education. 
psu.edu/writingpersonalstatementsonline/ Joe 
Schall
Stylistic Tools 
Use JARGON SPARINGLY 
Jargon – the specialized language of a 
discipline 
 Use of jargon shows the “insider,” you 
are comfortable with the vocabulary 
and discourse of your field of study 
 Caution- Manage jargon and 
informalities sparingly. 
https://www.e-education. 
psu.edu/writingpersonalstatementsonline/ Joe Schall
Stylistic Tool 
Use NARRATIVE AND ANECDOTES 
“When I received my first microscope 
set at the age of eight, I couldn’t wait 
to swab the inside of my cheek and 
smear my cells on a slide.” 
 “Note how this example does more 
than just narrate—it also underscores 
the writer’s passion for a field of study 
or a commitment to a cause”. 
https://www.e-education. 
psu.edu/writingpersonalstatementsonline/ Joe Schall
Stylistic Tools 
 Avoid CUTENESS AND GIMMICKY 
◦ Referring to yourself in the third person 
and then revealing at the end that the 
protagonist is actually you 
◦ Starting your essay with, “In the matter 
before the court of UCLA, regarding the 
admission of . . .” 
https://www.e-education.psu.edu/writingpersonalstatementsonline/ 
Joe Schall
Part 7 
 Writing Practice
Practice Writing 
 Introductory paragraph 
◦ Read the prompt for your personal 
statement 
◦ From your brainstorm identify your focus 
◦ Write the introductory paragraph

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Personal statement

  • 1. How to Write a Personal Statement September 12, 2014 Elena González Rivera, Ed. D.
  • 2. Overview and Objectives of the Workshop  Define what a personal statement is  Discuss things to avoid  Discuss ways of gathering information for each paragraph of the essay  Select stylistic tools  Practice writing
  • 3. Part 1  Definition of Personal Statement
  • 4. Definition of Personal Statement  How would you define it?
  • 5. Definition of Personal Statement A personal statement is:  “A picture. Provide a snapshot of who you are as a person.  An invitation. Your job is to ‘bridge the assumed distance of strangers.’ Invite your reader to get to know you.  An indication of your priorities and judgment. Your selection of material reveals your priorities and ability to discern effectively.  A story, or more precisely, your story. The personal statement allows you room for creative, meaningful self-reflection.”  https://www.e-education.psu.edu/writingpersonalstatementsonline/p2_p2.html The Penn University website entitled, “Writing Personal Statements on Line” created by Joe Schall includes this summary of a longer definition from the Fellowships Office at Bryn Mawr posted in the article "Advice from Fellowship Foundations"). http://www.wpi.edu/Academics/FS/personal.pdf
  • 6. Definition of a Personal Statement A personal statement is not:  “An academic paper with you as the subject. The objective distance of academic writing disengages the reader from you in a personal statement.  A resume in narrative form. Other parts of your application, which might include a resume, already tell readers about your accomplishments. A personal statement must reveal and interpret well beyond a resume.  A journal entry. A common mistake is allowing your personal statement to read like a diary. Share only relevant material selectively, in a voice that remains both individual and professional.  A plea or justification. Don’t beg and don’t defend the (incorrect) assertion that you are more worthy than other candidates—it only backfires”. https://www.e-education. psu.edu/writingpersonalstatementsonline/p2_p2.html
  • 7. Part 2  Characteristics of a Personal Statement
  • 8. Characteristics of a Personal Statement  What are some of its characteristics?
  • 9. Characteristics of a Good Personal Statement  Is reflective and honest  Strives for depth not breath  Answers the prompt question  Has a catchy introduction – engages the reader  Transforms shortcomings into positives  Shows knowledge of the institution  Shows a “quite confidence” http://students.berkeley.edu/apa/personalstatement/gettingstarted.html  Tells a story  Is specific  Finds an “angle” or a hook http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/642/01/ Jo Doran, Allen Brizee  Is distinctive, unique http://www.indiana.edu/~wts/pamphlets/personal_statement.shtml  Has a focus http://www.cmu.edu/hpp/achieve/pstips.html
  • 10. Characteristics of a Good Personal Statement  “Shows a quite confidence revealed through your description of a. lifelong interests, b. sustained commitment, c. and/or perseverance in the face of adversity”. http://students.berkeley.edu/apa/personalstatement/gettingstarted.htm
  • 11. Characteristics of a Good Personal Statement Thoughtful and honest  “A strong personal statement is reflective; that is, it demonstrates that you have thought about and gained a clear perspective on your experiences and what you want in your future. It gives the reader a vivid and compelling picture of you-  your achievements,  your obstacles,  your goals,  your values”.  http://students.berkeley.edu/apa/personalstatement /gettingstarted.htm
  • 12. Characteristics of a Good Personal Statement Is distinctive, unique  “One way to do this is to include at least one detailed example or anecdote that is specific to your own experience— perhaps a description of an important family member or personal moment that influenced your decision to pursue a particular career or degree. This strategy makes your statement distinctive and memorable”. http://www.indiana.edu/~wts/pamphlets/personal_statement.shtml
  • 13. Part 3  Things to Avoid
  • 14. Things to Avoid Ten Commandments  Set realistic goals not unrealistic goals like curing cancer/ winning a Nobel Prize.  Praise yourself or your school, but never idolize inappropriately.  Consider the advice of others. Don’t take advise lightly.  Remember deadlines. Don’t stretch deadlines.  Be yourself. If you are not genuine in tone, examples, and motivations, it will work against you. https://www.e-education. psu.edu/writingpersonalstatementsonline/node/1988 Joe Schall
  • 15. Things to Avoid Ten Commandments  Make sure you really want to go to graduate school. Don’t take somebody else’s chance away if you are no sure.  Learn to discern well. Answer the prompt question with relevant information. Don’t use irrelevant information.  Tell your own story. Don’t plagiarize someone else’s ideas.  Express the truth. Don’t lie or inflate.  Don’t envy the academic success of others. Half of those who start graduate school don’t finish. https://www.e-education.psu.edu/writingpersonalstatementsonline/node/1988 Joe Schall
  • 16. Things to Avoid  be competitive but not cocky  informed but not formulaic  https://www.e-education. psu.edu/writingpersonalstatementsonline/p2_p2.html  avoid clichés “A medical school applicant who writes that he is good at science and wants to help other people is not exactly expressing an original thought. Stay away from often-repeated or tired statements”.  Don't include some subjects “There are certain things best left out of personal statements. For example, references to experiences or accomplishments in high school or earlier are generally not a good idea. Don't mention potentially controversial subjects (for example, controversial religious or political issues)”.  http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/642/01/ Jo Doran, Allen Brizee  Avoid unnecessary duplication.  Maintain your statement within the limits stated. Don’t make it longer or shorter than specified.
  • 17. Part 4  Gathering Information Strategy
  • 18. Gathering Information & Developing a Theme  Brainstorming - ◦ list ideas ◦ connect those ideas (concept map) ◦ complete a brainstorm worksheet https://www.e-education. psu.edu/writingpersonalstatementsonline/p2_p2.html
  • 19. Brainstorming (handout #1)  “Begin by creating a brainstorm sheet. Be totally honest! Ask yourself the following questions, and write out your answers.  What are my strengths? What is special about me?  What kind of person am I? What do I care about?” http://students.berkeley.edu/apa/personalstatement/getti ngstarted.htm  “What's special, unique, distinctive, and/or impressive about you or your life story?  What details of your life (personal or family problems, history, people or events that have shaped you or influenced your goals) might help the committee better understand you or help set you apart from other applicants?  When did you become interested in the field and what have you learned about it (and about yourself) that has further stimulated your interest and reinforced your conviction that you are well suited to this field? What insights have you gained? http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/642/01/ Jo Doran, Allen Brizee
  • 20. Brainstorming  Have you had to overcome any unusual obstacles or hardships?  What personal characteristics (for example, integrity, compassion, and/or persistence) do you possess that would improve your prospects for success in the field or profession?  How have you learned about this field—through classes, readings, seminars, work or other experiences, or conversations with people already in the field?  If you have worked a lot during your college years, what have you learned (leadership, managerial, or research skills), and how has that work contributed to your growth?  What are your career goals?  What skills (for example, leadership, communicative, analytical) do you possess?  Why might you be a stronger candidate for graduate school— and more successful and effective in the profession or field than other applicants?” http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/642/01/ Jo Doran, Allen Brizee
  • 21. Part 5  Gathering Information for Each Paragraph
  • 22. Gathering Information & Developing a Theme Introductory Paragraph: Articulate a Personal or Professional Inspiration “Some writers start with: ◦ an inspiring quote ◦ a narrative ◦ others make a comment about their academic discipline What matters is that readers have a clear context through your opening, and that we understand immediately that you are talking about something of motivational meaning to you. For example: Briefly sketch out a positive influence: a memorable self-defining experience, a high school or college project that ignited deeper interest, an inspiring teacher or role model, a relative who followed a career path that you emulate—even a core theme that will carry through the rest of your essay. Always remember the typical fundamental goal of the opening: to provide a quick, meaningful snapshot of who you are as a person.” https://www.e-education.psu.edu/writingpersonalstatementsonline/p2_p4.html `
  • 23. Gathering Information & Developing a Theme Second and Third Paragraphs: Discuss your Academic Background or Research as a Set of Learned Skills  “Readers will be most interested in ◦ specific, skills-oriented detail ◦ lab techniques acquired ◦ analytical tools used ◦ participation in team decision-making ◦ journal research and publication experience ◦ oral presentation skills ◦ Think in relation to those skills most valued in your discipline, and describe your background in a way that highlights those attributes.”  “Wed the present and the future—project ahead to graduate research within your field...” What research would you like to do? https://www.e-education.
  • 24. Gathering Information & Developing a Theme Fourth Paragraph: Establish Some Long-Term Objectives  Professional Goals ◦ “ articulating a plan to continue work in a particular research area ◦ a desire to earn a PhD or teach at the university level ◦ future plans to work as an independent or corporate consultant”  Personal Goals ◦ “to serve the public through grass-roots activism ◦ to be the first member of a large family to earn a graduate degree ◦ to write and publish.”  Keep in mind the needs of your audience here: “They simply wish to confirm that you have a seriousness of purpose, and that you have the ability to envision some concrete plans (else why would you be applying for graduate study?)”  “Your long-term objectives can usually be rendered briefly rather than expansively, perhaps woven into the beginning or end of your final paragraph.” https://www.e-education.psu.edu/writingpersonalstatementsonline/p2_p4.html
  • 25. Gathering Information & Developing a Theme Concluding Paragraph: Close with Specifics About the Target Program or Scholarship  “Learning all you can about the target program or scholarship, which usually begins with a visit to the school or award website, will give you concrete closing material for your essay. ◦ Some students go a step further, e-mailing professors at their target program or past winners of their target scholarship, ◦ reading publications of the target program’s faculty, ◦ or making it a point to meet grad students and faculty connected with the target program at a conference. Such material, of course, could be integrated to give natural closure to your personal essay, thus affiliating you with the program of choice. ◦ Your goal is to create a personal and professional link between yourself and the graduate school. Go beyond simply inserting the school name into the final paragraph; prove that you have done your homework.” https://www.e-education.psu.edu/writingpersonalstatementsonline/p2_p4.html
  • 26. Gathering Information & Developing a Theme Explicitly addresses the question (Handout #2)  “For example, if you are asked to describe your greatest accomplishment or any unusual circumstances or challenges you have faced, then your reader will expect you to use vivid language that will enable the reader to visualize your accomplishment and share your sense of success.”  http://students.berkeley.edu/apa/personalstatement/sampleessay.ht ml
  • 27. Gathering Information & Developing a Theme Explicitly address the question (Handout #3)  “Question Summary: Describe your experiences in the following or describe how you would address the following in your professional career: integrating research and education, advancing diversity in science, enhancing scientific and technical understanding, and otherwise benefiting society”. https://www.e-education.psu.edu/writingpersonalstatementsonline/ Joe Schall Sample Essay NSF.docx
  • 28. Part 6 Stylistic Tools You Need to Consider
  • 29. Stylistic Tools Choose a FOCUS (thesis)  “What is it? Focus refers to the main point of your statement. Sometimes it is called a theme or thesis statement. Most of what you say in your statement will contribute to supporting your focus. In the very broadest sense, the focus of all medical school personal statements is "Why I Should Be Accepted to Medical School,". However, you need to choose something a little more subtle and personal to make a positive impression. Your focus should entail a value or an observation that has shaped you as a person.  Example, most of the time a focus is an abstract quality: ◦ the desire to help others, ◦ the importance of individual contribution, ◦ the drive to unite science and compassion” http://www.cmu.edu/hpp/achieve/pstips.html Carnegie Mellon Health Professions Program
  • 30. Stylistic Tools Select an INFORMAL TONE  Avoiding formalities and generic phrases “It is with great pride and deep respect that I hereby do apply for the honor of the Rhodes Scholarship.”  Assume a respectful individual tone “I look forward to the challenges that this project presents as well as the opportunities for further maturation as a practicing scientist.”  Use an informal tone ◦ “to facilitate clear narrative; ◦ to involve yourself as a character in the action…” https://www.e-education. psu.edu/writingpersonalstatementsonline/ Joe Schall
  • 31. Stylistic Tools Use JARGON SPARINGLY Jargon – the specialized language of a discipline  Use of jargon shows the “insider,” you are comfortable with the vocabulary and discourse of your field of study  Caution- Manage jargon and informalities sparingly. https://www.e-education. psu.edu/writingpersonalstatementsonline/ Joe Schall
  • 32. Stylistic Tool Use NARRATIVE AND ANECDOTES “When I received my first microscope set at the age of eight, I couldn’t wait to swab the inside of my cheek and smear my cells on a slide.”  “Note how this example does more than just narrate—it also underscores the writer’s passion for a field of study or a commitment to a cause”. https://www.e-education. psu.edu/writingpersonalstatementsonline/ Joe Schall
  • 33. Stylistic Tools  Avoid CUTENESS AND GIMMICKY ◦ Referring to yourself in the third person and then revealing at the end that the protagonist is actually you ◦ Starting your essay with, “In the matter before the court of UCLA, regarding the admission of . . .” https://www.e-education.psu.edu/writingpersonalstatementsonline/ Joe Schall
  • 34. Part 7  Writing Practice
  • 35. Practice Writing  Introductory paragraph ◦ Read the prompt for your personal statement ◦ From your brainstorm identify your focus ◦ Write the introductory paragraph