Narcissitic Personality Disorder
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The document describes a fictional account of someone realizing they have narcissistic personality disorder. They grew up having their needs met but felt empty. After their parents died, they felt out of control and that the disorder was in total control of their self-esteem. They hurt many people while working at Vogue by constantly seeking attention and admiration. After complaints from coworkers, they went to a psychiatrist who diagnosed them with narcissistic personality disorder. They went through therapy for several months and eventually found acceptance and happiness.
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I have bled many times in my life. Sometimes I bled from accidents just like others, but many times, the bleeding was intended. For several years, I hurt myself intentionally. I was suicidal on some occasions. I cannot remember when I first started self-harming because living a life distressed me since I was very young. I was born in South Korea, and I grew up there until I was 13 years old. Even though I was Korean myself and spent my childhood there, I did not like living in Korea. When I think about Korea, the first thing that pops up in my head is an anguished memory of me getting bullied.
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In Their Own Words
Program Transcript
NICOLE: My name is Nicole. And May 30, I will have five years in recovery.
RICKY: My name is Ricky. I've been in recovery for 10 years.
GRETCHEN: My name is Gretchen. And I've been in recovery for about three
years.
JASON: My name's Jason, and I've been in recovery for five months.
ODESSA: My name is Odessa, and I have been in recovery for six years.
SHANE: My name is Shane, and I have 11 years clean.
FEMALE SPEAKER: Six addicts, six remarkable stories of addiction, treatment,
and recovery in their own words.
GRETCHEN: My addictions are prescription pain pills and alcohol. I'm a survivor
of childhood sexual trauma, so that's-- and my parents are addicts. And my
parents always used around me. Their friends always used around me.
I grew up thinking that was normal. I grew up thinking chaos was normal and
negative type behaviors. My mother had breast cancer, and my mother has other
health issues. And she's addicted to her pain pills.
I would try and reach out to her for help, and she would just say, you know, go
get me a bottle or go get me a beer or go get this. And she would take those pain
pills with that alcohol. When you sit there and you watch your mother do that and
not help you and not support you and not listen to you, and the whole time I was
there I was telling her I needed to get help.
I needed help. I needed counseling. I needed treatment. I needed something.
In the worst stage of my addiction, I just kind of went off the deep end with it all. I
just realized that I couldn't handle it anymore and I didn't know how to fix it. So I
just self-medicated and drank, and drank, and drank, and took pills and drank.
And some things happened that just caused me to realize that I was going to die
if I didn't reach for help.
JASON: I snuck into a Casino with a fake ID at 14 and won $1,000 playing
Blackjack, and then it was like my whole life went this way. It was like college,
that all can wait, because there's no way I can make this much money. So it was
just off to the races from then.
©2012 Laureate Education, Inc. 1
I can remember one time I cashed out my 401k, took out like $30,000, went
straight to the casino. Doubled that and didn't leave. And then lost $40,000.
I think I got the same feeling losing or winning. It was as long as I was gambling.
It didn't matter. It's the same. It's the rush.
I would go to the casino. And, of course, they'd give me a room for a week or two
weeks, whatever I wanted. I would stay there literally. I just wouldn't go to work.
And of course, no employer's going to put up with that.
I pretty much just lost everything. And I knew it was time to do something.
RICKY: My daddy, when I finished high school, he passed away. So that just,
that left me, the oldest son, on the farm. So I had to drop everything. There was a
lot of pressure. There was a lot of disappointment, and the only way I could .
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NICOLE: My name is Nicole. And May 30, I will have five years in recovery.
RICKY: My name is Ricky. I've been in recovery for 10 years.
GRETCHEN: My name is Gretchen. And I've been in recovery for about three
years.
JASON: My name's Jason, and I've been in recovery for five months.
ODESSA: My name is Odessa, and I have been in recovery for six years.
SHANE: My name is Shane, and I have 11 years clean.
FEMALE SPEAKER: Six addicts, six remarkable stories of addiction, treatment,
and recovery in their own words.
GRETCHEN: My addictions are prescription pain pills and alcohol. I'm a survivor
of childhood sexual trauma, so that's-- and my parents are addicts. And my
parents always used around me. Their friends always used around me.
I grew up thinking that was normal. I grew up thinking chaos was normal and
negative type behaviors. My mother had breast cancer, and my mother has other
health issues. And she's addicted to her pain pills.
I would try and reach out to her for help, and she would just say, you know, go
get me a bottle or go get me a beer or go get this. And she would take those pain
pills with that alcohol. When you sit there and you watch your mother do that and
not help you and not support you and not listen to you, and the whole time I was
there I was telling her I needed to get help.
I needed help. I needed counseling. I needed treatment. I needed something.
In the worst stage of my addiction, I just kind of went off the deep end with it all. I
just realized that I couldn't handle it anymore and I didn't know how to fix it. So I
just self-medicated and drank, and drank, and drank, and took pills and drank.
And some things happened that just caused me to realize that I was going to die
if I didn't reach for help.
JASON: I snuck into a Casino with a fake ID at 14 and won $1,000 playing
Blackjack, and then it was like my whole life went this way. It was like college,
that all can wait, because there's no way I can make this much money. So it was
just off to the races from then.
©2012 Laureate Education, Inc. 1
I can remember one time I cashed out my 401k, took out like $30,000, went
straight to the casino. Doubled that and didn't leave. And then lost $40,000.
I think I got the same feeling losing or winning. It was as long as I was gambling.
It didn't matter. It's the same. It's the rush.
I would go to the casino. And, of course, they'd give me a room for a week or two
weeks, whatever I wanted. I would stay there literally. I just wouldn't go to work.
And of course, no employer's going to put up with that.
I pretty much just lost everything. And I knew it was time to do something.
RICKY: My daddy, when I finished high school, he passed away. So that just,
that left me, the oldest son, on the farm. So I had to drop everything. There was a
lot of pressure. There was a lot of disappointment, and the only way I could .
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Narcissitic Personality Disorder
- 1. When I was growing up, my parents and friends always attended to my needs and desires.
- 2. Later on, I felt that I received a sense of temporary happiness from this ailment.
- 3. Yet when my parents died, I felt that I could no longer function. I felt that I had little control in my life.
- 4. I felt as if this ailment had total control over me and my self-esteem.
- 5. By the time I started to work for vogue, I could tell people detested me. They called me obnoxious and heartless…..
- 7. Even though I was the head of Vogue, I couldn’t resist constant attention and admiration from the more inferior peers.
- 8. Later on, I felt a sense of joy in admiring myself
- 9. I always exploited other people often in order to gain my desires. I could care less for their misfortunes.
- 10. Later on, I would feel sad about all the people that I hurt.
- 11. After constant complaints from my peers, I finally go to a psychiatrist.
- 12. Little did I realize, the amount of stress I felt from having this….
- 13. After going, my psychiatrist tells me that I have clear signs of narcissistic personality disorder.
- 14. I felt like I was in constant fear of hurting someone.
- 15. It is a type of personality disorder where a person feels love for him/herself and does only things for him/herself.
- 16. I started to feel jealous of people without this…… curse
- 17. The doctor requested that I receive constant therapy from him…..
- 19. After a while, i felt a sense of happiness
- 20. I could accept it as part of my life This is a project for a high school ap psychology course. This is a fictionalized account of having a psychological ailment. For questions about this blog project or its content, email the teacher Chris Jocham: jocham@fultonschools.org.