The document outlines the struggles of a young woman, Lucy, with eating disorders and alcohol use, providing insight into her mental state and self-perception. It discusses the severity of her depression and health risks associated with bulimia nervosa, alongside her conflicting feelings towards her condition. Lucy expresses a desire for isolation and self-destruction, revealing the depth of her struggle with life and death thoughts.

1. My Journey
#EDAW17

2.  I will not be including weights or sizes.
 I will not be including photos of my body.
 I will not be including food types or amounts.
 I will not be including calories or fat content.
 I will not be including tools or tips.
 I will not be including vivid descriptions of purging
activities.
 I will be talking about my life with and without an
eating disorder. In parts this may be triggering for
some, and for that I apologise. I offer an ear to listen
afterwards and information on advice and support.

3. I love books and loud music. I love Woodstock, Fleetwood
Mac, Tom Petty and David Bowie. I love dancing for the sake
of movement. I love how bus drivers wave to each other. I
love the smell when it rains. I love butterflies and flowers and
girly shit. I love tattoos and dyed hair. I love horror films,
funny films and quirky-indie-slow films where nothing
happens. I love Bill Murray. I love walking and climbing
mountains. I love the winter. I love sewing to keep me sane. I
love scarves. I love pigs. I love Domino’s pizza and sweet chilli
noodles. I love ale and blankets. I love dreadlocks and fairy
tales. I love daydreaming. I love naps.

4. An 18 year old troubled young lady who has found 'answers' to her difficulties through eating problems & alcohol
use.
... Lucy's main concern was lack of money as she is spending so much money on binge food. She also complained
of a lack of energy & an inability to accept people's view of her as being very thin...
Lucy generally avoids weighing herself & was dismayed at her weight.
... She views herself as being too heavy & described bulgy bits on her face, hips & stomach.
Lucy is constantly looking in mirrors & using clothing to check her size & checking her body on a regular basis.
She appeared to be remarkably accepting of her situation, which is concerning in view of the long-term damage
she is doing to herself.
Her BDI score was 43, indicating severe depression, which was at odds with her presentation & assertion that she
is not depressed.
... She is not worried about her alcohol intake.
She has never been violent to people... although if her eating & alcohol consumption worsens then risks will
increase...
... I will discuss with Lucy the importance of a dexa-scan, which is indicated as she has been amenorrhoeic for two
years.

5. What is Bulimia Nervosa?
Bulima Nervosa, ‘ox like hunger’.
Bulimics have extreme eating and exercising habits, instead of demonstrating
moderation. This compulsive behaviour is often echoed in similar destructive
behaviour such as sexual promiscuity, pathological lying, and shoplifting. Some
bulimics not only struggle with the eating disorder, but these other harmful
behaviours as well.

6.  Malnutrition
 Dehydration
 Electrolyte imbalance, which can cause
cardiac arrest or brain damage by stroke
 Hyponatremia
 Damaging of the voice
 Vitamin and mineral deficiencies
 Teeth erosion and cavities, gum disease
 Salivary gland swelling (sialadenosis)
 Potential for gastric rupture during periods
of binging
 Oesophageal reflux
 Irritation, inflammation, and possible
rupture of the oesophagus
 Laxative dependence
 Peptic ulcers and pancreatitis
 Emetic toxicity due to ipecac abuse
 Swelling of the face and cheeks, especially
the lower eyelids, due to the high pressure
of blood in the face during vomiting; for
the same reason Purpura can occur, a rash
caused by burst blood vessels.
 Callused or bruised fingers
 Dry or brittle skin, hair, and nails, or hair
loss
 Lanugo
 Oedema
 Muscle atrophy
 Decreased or increased bowel activity
 Digestive problems that may be triggered,
including celiac, Crohn's Disease
 Low blood pressure (hypotension)
 Orthostatic hypotension
 High blood pressure (hypertension)
 Iron deficiency
 Anaemia
 Hormonal imbalances
 Hyperactivity
 Depression
 Insomnia
 Amenorrhea
 Infertility
 High risk pregnancy, miscarriage, still-born
babies
 Diabetes
 High blood sugar (hyperglycaemia)
 Ketoacidosis
 Osteoporosis
 Arthritis
 Weakness and fatigue
 Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
 Cancer of the throat or voice box
 Liver failure
 Kidney infection and failure
 Heart failure, heart arrhythmia, angina
 Seizure
 Paralysis
 Death caused by heart attack or heart
failure; lung collapse; internal bleeding,
stroke, kidney failure, liver failure;
pancreatitis, gastric rupture, perforated
ulcer, depression and suicide.
Bulimia can cause following health problems:

7. 02-08-2007, 05:20 PM
i don't think i am actually fully aware as to what i have got myself into.
there are moments where i suddnely stop and think 'shit. this is not life.' but those are followed by so many
more powerful moments urging me on, telling me i am not doing enough and i need to hurt more.
i don't know who or what to listen to anymore.
i want to push everyone away and just be alone in my house all the time.
i want to be alone in my thoughts.
i want to have a house full of food that i love so that i can just eat and eat and throw up over and over
again... that is all i want right now,, no distractions, no stopping me, just over and over again untill i
physically cannot do it anymore.
i don't care that it's sick.
i don't care that i'm sick.
i don't care that it's not what i need.
i don't care that i might die from this.
to be honest i want to die from this.
this is an end that i can anticipate.
it's hard to live when your mind is pushing towards death.

8. “I’d like to turn back” I said “we can’t see anything, it’s going to be nothing
spectacular when we get to the top. I can’t do this. I can’t go any further”

11. Thank you!