Strategies to manage a difficult boss & How to give your manager feedback

1. Managing Up
The less then perfect manager

2. Micromanager

3. Characteristics
• Overcontrolling
• Makes you doubt yourself
• Driven by your boss’s internal anxiety – not you!
• Not all micro-management is the same

4. Various degrees of
micromanagement
• Very High Standards
• Ask for rework to
meet standards
• High attention to
detail
• Don’t stifle you
• Pathological Micromanager
• Give little or no
independence
• Desperate need to be “in
charge”
• Overly involved
• Focus on small (often not
very important details e.g.
font size) and miss the big
picture

5. What to do
about it?
• Pushing back may lead to a break in trust and an
INCREASE in the level of micromanagement
• Try to understand what is causing the behaviour:
• Under too much pressure?
• Is this their natural style?
• Is this micromanagement rewarded by the
company culture or their boss?

6. What to do
about it?

7. What to do about it?
Make Up-front agreements:
• Before the start of an
assignment or project
• Agree on standards and basic
approach
• What role will each of you play?
• What criteria will be used to
measure success?
• Express your recommendations
and ask for their input
Flattery can also work:
• “You are more strategic at your
level, so you are better off not
getting involved in all this low-
level stuff. I am sure your time is
worth more than this.”

8. What to do
about it?
• Keep your boss in the loop:
Update them regularly, using their preferred
communication style and method
Update without being asked, be proactive
Share details that you know they are
interested in or anxious about, this might
save you rework later

9. Incompetent Boss

10. Characteristics
Promoted for the wrong reason
External appointment

11. What to do
about it?
• Self-reflect:
• Are you jealous? Resentful?
• Do you have a personal bias that is skewing
your judgement?
• Assume positive intent:
• Maybe there are stressors you are not aware
of
• Learn more about your boss
• Demonstrate empathy
• Don’t demonise him or her

12. What to do
about it?
• Get a fresh perspective
• Find wise and unbiased counsel to talk to
(mentor, coach, trusted confidante)
• Explain the facts and how it is affecting you
and your work
• Ask for advice
• Don’t keep repeating the same story of
woe to anyone who will listen, find one
person and vent in one direction only

13. What to do
about it?
• Find out what they are good at – leverage that
e.g. relationships
• Manage your expectations to avoid frustration
• Get specific about what help you need or
direction you seek
• Don’t fall into “victim mode”, take action and
reframe negative situations into opportunities
• Manage your mindset and what comes out of
your mouth – remember to lead yourself and
others

14. What to do
about it?
• Step Up:
Offer to step in to cover the gaps e.g. put the plan
together
Adopt a “just do it” myself approach – if you don’t get
goals from your manager, set them yourself and ask
for approval; if you don’t get feedback, do a self-
assessment and ask for comments; if you aren’t clear
on your priorities, select what you think are the top 3
and confirm them in a meeting and/or over email.
See this as an opportunity for you to stretch and grow
Demonstrate ownership

15. Find ways to
make it work
• Take care of yourself:
Find other people to give you feedback
Identify a mentor in the business
Engage an external coach to help you think
through approaches
Look for humour in situations
Don’t carry resentment and frustration
Step back to get perspective

16. Too Nice Boss

17. Characteristics
• Avoids conflict
• Doesn’t advocate for you
• Overcommits to clients (afraid to say no)
and stakeholders so overloads the team

18. What to do
about it?
• Focus on getting the best results for the
business
• Ask lots of “what if” questions:
• “What if this happens… might it be a
good idea to….”
• Use tentative language:
• “I might be off base here but….”
• “This might sound crazy but…”

19. What to do
about it?
• Step in:
Offer to take on a role or task that could help
create structure or mitigate the impact e.g. be the
time-keeper at a meeting OR summarise facts and
impact in an email that is very clear
Gather facts and data, write drafts, create the
business case to support requests that your
manager might be reluctant to make

20. What to do
about it?
• Step Up:
Complete self-reviews and send them in
email before performance discussions
Build rapport before raising concerns
Avoid strong emotions and deal with facts

21. Too Many Bosses

22. Characteristics
• Caught in a matrix structure
• Project manager and a line manager
• In country and out of country
• Challenges:
• Overload
• Conflicting messages & priorities
• Loyalty

23. What to do
about it?
• Know who your ultimate boss is:
• Who makes your compensation decision?
• Over-communicate:
• Make your calendar accessible to all
• Give updates proactively and use the cc
function to keep other bosses informed
• Let everyone know what is on your plate, be
proactive when you see issues ahead
• Do a weekly update in a 1:1 or group email

24. What to do
about it?
• Get your bosses to talk to each other
• Bring them into one meeting
• Explain the conflict and enlist their help
to problem solve or prioritise
• Establish boundaries
• Diarise quiet time or focus time when
you can do deep work
• Before taking on new assignments,
remind your manager that you need to
assess how it fits into your overall
workload & what might need to be
deprioritised

25. The benefits
• More feedback
• More exposure
• Greater network
• Greater autonomy

26. When you have a good
relationship with your
boss
Whether they are brilliant or bad…

27. Giving
feedback
• Wait to be asked for feedback
• “Are you open to some feedback?”
• Provide feedback that is aimed to help them be
at their best
• Use the feedback framework to guide you:
• What? “ I noticed in that meeting that…”
• So what? “the impact might be…”
• Now what? “I wonder if it might be more
impactful if….”
What?
So
what?
Now
what?

28. Giving
feedback
• Wait to be asked for feedback
• “Are you open to some feedback?”
• Provide feedback that is aimed to help them be
at their best
• Use the feedback framework to guide you:
• What? “ I noticed in that meeting that…”
• So what? “the impact might be…”
• Now what? “I wonder if it might be more
impactful if….”
• Use tentative and curious language:
• “Help me understand what made you do it
that way?”
• “I have some ideas on how to handle that in
a different way if you are interested….”

29. When feedback goes badly
• Don’t take it personally
• Your job is to give feedback with the right mindset and approach
• It is the receivers job to decide what to do with it
• When your manager is in a good mood, not under pressure, reflect on
the feedback experience:
• Last week I gave you some feedback and from my perspective it seemed to
annoy you / frustrate you. That wasn’t my intention. Did I misread your
reaction?
• Would you like feedback from me?
• Is there any specific feedback that you would find helpful?

30. Summary
Be proactive
rather than
reactive
01
Proactively
communicate
02
Manage your
mindset,
assume positive
intent
03
Seek outside,
unbiased
partners to vent
at
04
Focus on the
opportunity a
bad boss
presents
05