This document discusses addiction, how addictions develop, and principles for preventing and overcoming addiction. It begins by explaining the addictive cycle of pain, acting out to feel better, and more pain from acting out. It then discusses how micro-addictions and substance addictions develop. The main issues that fuel addiction are identified as avoidance, denial, low self-esteem, poor social skills, and lack of purpose. Common excuses of addicts are outlined. Principles for distinguishing halal from haram are provided, with warnings about grey areas. Strategies are suggested for preventing addiction through strengthening one's reward system, developing willpower, and living a disciplined life with family responsibility. Understanding one's "love loop

1. Love Addiction
Dr. Kanwal Kaisser

2. Narrated Usama bin Zaid:
Once the Prophet (‫)ﷺ‬ stood over one of the
high buildings of Medina and then said (to
the people), "Do you see what I see?" They
said, "No." He said, "I see afflictions falling
among your houses as rain drops fall."
(al-Bukhari 7060)

3. Jundub ibn Sufyan reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and
blessings be upon him, said, “There will come after me a tribulation
like the dark of night, in which a man will awaken as a believer and
enter evening as an unbeliever, or awaken as an unbeliever and
enter evening as a believer.” A man among the Muslims said, “What
shall we do in that case, O Messenger of Allah?” The Prophet said,
“Stay in your homes and hide yourselves.” A man said, “What shall
we do if someone enters our house?” The Prophet said, “Restrain
your hands and be the servant of Allah who is killed, and do not be
the servant of Allah who kills. Verily, a man will be among a party
in Islam, yet he consumes the wealth of his brother, he sheds his
blood, he disobeys his Lord, and he disbelieves in his Creator. Thus,
he must enter the Hellfire.”
Source: al-Mu’jam al-Kabīr 1703

4. Lies Haram Blackmails
Heartbreaks
Parental
dilemma
Isssuesssssss

6. Seeking Mood changing experience

7. Duniya Phooloon Ki Saij

8. And We will surely test you with something of fear
and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and
fruits, but give good tidings to the patient, (Al-
Baqarah:154)

14. Addictive Cycle
• Pain
• Feel the need to act out
• Start to feel better
• Pain from acting out
• Feel the need to act out
• Start to feel better

15. Brutal Realities
They can become stronger than you
It’s not just about your life
Addictions destroy dreams

16. How Addictions Develop
Micro
Addiction
Behavior
Addiction
Substance
Addiction

17. 7 Micro-Addictions
1. Rumination
2. Experiential Avoidance
3. Short Term Focus
4. Hostility/Aggression
5. Emotional Masking
6. Negative Appraisal
7. Response Persistence

18. Spectrum of Addictions

19. And be not like those who forgot
Allah, so He made them forget
themselves. Those are the
defiantly disobedient.
(Al Hashr: 19)

26. Susceptible Moments
Loss of loved
one
Loss of
status
Loss of
dream
Loss of
friendship
New social
challenge
Facing social
isolation
Leaving
one's family

27. False Promises
False relief
False emotional security
False sense of fulfillment
False sense of intimacy

28. Mind: Software
Brain: Hardware
To Allah belongs whatever is
in the heavens and whatever
is in the earth. Whether you
show what is within
yourselves or conceal it,
Allah will bring you to
account for it. Then He will
forgive whom He wills and
punish whom He wills, and
Allah is over all things
competent. (Al Baqarah:284)

30. Addiction is something……
We do repeatedly
We enjoy it
We want to do it again and
again

31. Habits
Addictions

32. Difference between Habit and
Addiction
Habit
Control of your choices
Long term benefit
Halal
Addiction
Not in control of your
choices
Short term benefit
Haram

33. Why
Addiction on
rise?
• Fast Pace Life
• More Stress
Factors
• Technology
Power
• Fast Flying

35. Principles
Money
Self
Religion
Friend
Possessions
Work
Family
Spouse

36. Saving from
Fire
Entry into
Jannah
Money
Self
Religion
Friend
Possessions
Work
Family
Spouse

37. Halal Haram Rules

38. 1. All Halal unless mentioned
And He has subjected to you whatever is in the
heavens and whatever is on the earth - all from Him.
Indeed in that are signs for a people who give
thought. (Al Jathiya:13)

39. 2. Only Allah has right to decide what
is Halal and Haram
Say, "Have you seen what Allah has sent down to you of
provision of which you have made [some] lawful and
[some] unlawful?" Say, "Has Allah permitted you [to do
so], or do you invent [something] about Allah ?”
(Yunus:59)

40. 3. Haram things are harmful
They ask you about wine and gambling. Say, "In them is great sin and
[yet, some] benefit for people. But their sin is greater than their
benefit." And they ask you what they should spend. Say, "The excess
[beyond needs]." Thus Allah makes clear to you the verses [of
revelation] that you might give thought. (Al Baqarah:219)

41. 4. Sticking to Halal helps away from
haram

42. 5. What leads to Haram is also haram

43. 6. Making excuses for haram is also
haram
It was narrated from Abu Malik Ash’ari that the
Messenger of Allah (‫)ﷺ‬ said:
“People among my nation will drink wine, calling
it by another name, and musical instruments will
be played for them and singing girls (will sing for
them). Allah will cause the earth to swallow
them up, and will turn them into monkeys and
pigs.” (Ibn majah: 4020)

44. 7. Good intention does not make
anything halal
On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (RA) who said: The Messenger of
Allah ‫ﷺ‬ said:
“Allah the Almighty is good and accepts only that which is good. And
verily Allah has commanded the believers to do that which He has
commanded the Messengers. So the Almighty has said: "O (you) Messengers! Eat of
the tayyibat (good things), and perform righteous deeds" [23:51] and the Almighty has said:
"O you who believe! Eat of the lawful things that We have provided you" [2:172].
Then he ‫ﷺ‬ mentioned a man who, having journeyed far, is dishevelled
and dusty, and who spreads out his hands to the sky saying, "O Lord!
O Lord!" while his food is haram, his drink is haram, his clothing is
haram, and he has been nourished with haram, so how can [his
supplication] be answered?"
[Muslim]

45. 8. Warning on Grey Areas
On the authority of Abu 'Abdullah al-Nu'man bin Bashir (ra) who
said: I heard the Messenger of Allah(sas) say:
"The halal is clear and the haram is clear, and between them are
matters unclear that are unknown to most people. Whoever is wary
of these unclear matters has absolved his religion and honor. And
whoever indulges in them has indulged in the haram. It is like a
shepherd who herds his sheep too close to preserved sanctuary, and
they will eventually graze in it. Every king has a sanctuary, and the
sanctuary of Allah is what He has made haram. There lies within the
body a piece of flesh. If it is sound, the whole body is sound; and if it
is corrupted, the whole body is corrupted. Verily this piece is the
heart.” (Bukhari)

46. 9. Haram is haram for all

47. 10. Rulings change in difficult
circumstances

50. Main Issues
Shock Absorber

51. Denial Shame
Low Self
Esteem
Poor Social
Skills
Lack of
Spirituality
Lack of
Purposeful life

52. Common excuses of Addicts
• Avoidance : I will talk about anything but the problem!
• Absolute denial: NO not me!
• Minimization: it’s not that bad!
• Rationalization: I have a good reason!
• Blaming: it’s not that my fault!
• Comparing: Others are worse than me!
• Manipulation : I will only recover if you do what I want!
• Strategic hopelessness : Since nothing will work I don’t
have to try!

53. Self Esteem….Story of Addiction

54. Self
Parents
People

55. Detach yourself from your Brain
• This is not me
• This is my ……
• My brain has
erroneously learnt it
• What is next item on
agenda?

56. Addiction Prevention
Make reward system strong
Develop will power
Disciplined life
Proactive
Family responsibility

57. Understand Your Love Loop

58. Time
Place
Person Task
Feeling

59. Chose
Enjoy
Extrinsic
Intrinsic
New

60. Making
Logs
Putting
Reminders
Conscious
effort

62. FB: Hamaray Bachchay
Dr. Kanwal Kaisser
Twitter: Kanwal
Kaisser@HamarayBachch
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Hamaray Bachchay
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www.hamaraybachchay.c
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