Yet another laughable collection by the good humor scholars - the Nilsens

1. 1
Jokes, Joke Cycles
and Practical Jokes
by Don L. F. Nilsen and
Alleen Pace Nilsen

2. KETCHUP:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQQD9bPrUPU
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3. 3
Joking Relationships
• Joking relationships occur between
two persons in which one is by custom
permitted and in some instances
required to tease or make fun of the
other.

4. 4
EXAGGERATION &
SURPRISE
• Exaggeration and surprise are features
that can be found in most jokes.
• Bill Dana demonstrates that the same
joke can be told with only the details
and local color changing, and the rest
of the joke remaining the same.

5. 5
FIRST TELLING
• A large group is assembled in an
auditorium when from the loudspeaker
comes the message:
• “Will the person with New York license
plate BL 74468459030623145098725,
kindly remove it? Your license plate is
blocking traffic.”

6. 6
SECOND TELLING
• Two cowboys are talking and the first
one explains that the name of his ranch
is the “Bar Nine Circle Z Rocking O
Flying W Lazy R Happy Two Flying Nun
Ranch.”
• A second cowboy asks if he has many
cattle, and the first cowboy responds,
“Not many survive the branding.”

7. 7
THIRD TELLING
• Two football players are talking and
one of them begins describing a heroic
run he made during the final game of
the season.
• “Nobody on the opposing team could
tackle him….

8. 8
• Finally, “they brought a cannon out onto the
field, and they shot me with the cannon,
• and then airplanes came down with machine
guns. They still couldn’t stop me. And I finally
made a touchdown.
• The other player indignantly interjects that
“Anybody who was in the stadium could prove
that was a lie.”
• The first player responded, “There were no
survivors.”

9. FAKE PLAY: PIANO JUGGLER:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07brW206D84
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10. 10
JOKE CYCLES
•Very often jokes occur
in joke cycles.
Consider the following
joke cycles.

11. 11
ACRONYM JOKES
• These jokes are often found on vanity
license plates or bumper stickers:
• 10SNE1 (tennis anyone?)
• XQUSME (excuse me)
• 4RGRAN (for our grandchild)
• BS, MS, PhD (Bull Shit, More of the
Same, Piled Higher and Deeper)

12. 12
LIGHTBULB JOKES
• How many New Yorkers?
• 3: One to do it and two to criticize.
• How many grad students?
• 3: 2 plus a professor to take the credit
• How many Jewish mothers?
• None: I’ll just sit in the dark.

13. 13
• How many Los Angeles Police?
• 6: one to do it and five to smash the old bulb
to smithereens.
• How many mice does it take to screw in a
lightbulb?
• 2: but they have to be really small.
• How many Dolly clones?
• As many as you’d like. As many as you’d
like. As many as you’d like.

14. 14
LIGHT BULB JOKE VARIATION:
• What’s the difference between a
pregnant woman and a light bulb?
• You can unscrew the light bulb.

15. 15
NEW DEFINITIONS
• Artery: The study of painting
• Bacteria: The back door of a cafeteria
• Barium: What doctors do when patients
die.

16. A Practical Joke
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17. 17
A practical joke is possible here,
but in this clip everything is legitimate.
NOTE: This one is legitimate; however there is another tennis-ball
piano player who has the tune preprogramed into the keyboard, and
all he has to do is hit the keyboard anyplace at the right time.
TENNIS-BALL PIANO PLAYER:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07brW206D84

18. 18
SNIGLETS
• Rich Hall invented the term “sniglet”
for a word that should be in the
dictionary, but isn’t.
• Elbonics (el bon’ iks) n. The actions of
two people maneuvering for one
armrest in a movie theater.

19. 19
• Esso Asso (eso a’so): The person behind
you in a right-hand turn lane who cuts
through the Esso Station.
• Pupkus (pup’kus) n. The moist residue
left on a window after a dog presses its
nose to it.
• Phonesia (fo nee’ zhuh) n. The affliction
of dialing a phone number and forgetting
whom you were calling just as they
answer.

20. 20
TOM SWIFTIES
• People who used to read the Tom Swift
novels invented a new type of joke:
• “My name is Tom, he said Swiftly.”
• This pattern is extended to:
• “I’d like my egg boiled,” she whispered
softly.”

21. 21
• “Get to the back of the boat!” he shouted
sternly.
• “Would you like another pancake?” she
asked flippantly.
• “She works in the mines,” he roared
ironically.

22. 22
TOP TEN LIST
• In 1993 when David Letterman left NBC to
move to a better time slot at CBS, he made a
list of his “Top 10 Things I Have To Do
Before I Leave NBC.” Here are some of the
items on that list:
• Drop off hairpiece at security desk.
• Vacuum out Wendell (his announcer) and
write down his mileage.

23. 23
• Steal my weight in office supplies.
• Let my plastic surgeon step out and take
a bow—this has been his show as much
as mine.
• Get one more cheap laugh by saying the
word Buttafuoco.

24. TRICK PLAY IN FOOTBALL:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dKE9SFCe0HU
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25. 25
VIRUS JOKES
• AT&T Virus: Every three minutes it
tells you what great service you are
getting.
• MCI Virus: Every three minutes it
reminds you that you’re paying too
much for the AT&T virus.

26. 26
• Paul Revere Virus: This revolutionary
virus does not horse around. It warns
you of impending hard disk attack—once
if by LAN, twice if by C:>.
• New World Order Virus: Probably
harmless, but it makes a lot of people
really mad just thinking about it.

27. 27
EPIPHANY
• What all jokes seem to have is an epiphany.
So here is a joke that illustrates the nature of
epiphany:
• A man has been a customer in a particular
restaurant for twenty years. He sits down to
his regular dinner and immediately calls the
waiter over to his table and demands that he
“taste the soup.”

28. 28
• The waiter is most apologetic and says,
“I’m sorry sir. What’s wrong? Here, let
me get you another bowl.”
• “Taste the soup!” demands the irritated
customer.

29. 29
• Again the waiter apologizes and leans forward
to whisk away the offending bowl.
• “No!” demands the customer, who by now is
irate: “Taste the soup.”
• The humbled waiter leans over to obey and
asks in surprise, “Where’s the spoon?”
• “Ah ha!” cries the customer.

30. A Parody
and A Parody of a Parody
BUSH ON GLOBAL WARMING (BILL FERRELL TAKEOFF):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jOjfxEejS2Y&feature=related
BUSH ON GLOBAL WARMING (KID TAKEOFF):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWdiHtv6T6s
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