Instructions Sheet 1 This journal assignment allows you to reflect on the feedback you received in Writers’ Workshop 1. The purpose is for you to identify what feedback was helpful and what feedback was not, based on what you received from your peers and your instructor, and to explain why. The journal also gives you an opportunity to articulate how you will use the feedback to expand and deepen the story you decide to develop this term. Reflect on feedback you have received from your peers and instructor, earlier resources offered in the modules, and your own self-analysis of your writing pieces. What has or has not been helpful in developing your stories? Determine from your two story pitches which one you would like to develop further as your final piece of nonfiction. (PITCH 1- Attached) Describe how you will incorporate feedback or how you will revise less effective passages in order to develop this piece for final submission. Analyze what nonfiction-specific techniques you had the most difficulty adapting to your writing and how you can improve in that area. What was the most helpful part of the peer review process, and what was the most frustrating part? What did you find personally useful about providing actionable recommendations concerning the effectiveness of structure in the work of your peers? For additional details, please refer to the Final Project II Milestone One Guidelines and Rubric document in the Assignment Guidelines and Rubrics section of the course. The four hits off the fence My pitch for the first story is the four hits off the fence, on that sunny spring day of 1995, which brought me into the Rossiano family. Ross is what Mark used for short to camouflage his Italian last name and keep his omnipresent African American roots. We quickly became good friends, not without the typical brother’s spat or disagreements which would test the limits of any common friendship. However, Mark would embrace you(me) and I reciprocated in-kind leaving a sense of mutual understanding and respect. A characteristic which spoke volumes of Marks character and enforced our brotherly bond.(not a whole sentence/revision suggested) Mark (was)devoted his life to his family and friends which further reflected genuine love and sincerity . A family first individual who found no joy more delightful than to spend time with close or distant family. Mark (comma here or Mark was) a product of a biracial marriage often reminisced a lot when the house was full of family, friends or others his mother would simply house. Mark's home was not exempt from family squabbles, heated debates, propositions or even law stretching schemes. However, the family remained close-knit, unified and always willing to support one another. Why Mark? (Central theme?) Mark is the prodigy, who could make all possible; raising his nephews and guiding one into the NFL. Or his daughter born with situs inversus (internal organs reversed) reassuring everyone she will be happy.

1. Instructions
Sheet 1
This journal assignment allows you to reflect on the feedback
you received in Writers’ Workshop 1. The purpose is for you to
identify what feedback was helpful and what feedback was not,
based on what you received from your peers and your instructor,
and to explain why. The journal also gives you an opportunity
to articulate how you will use the feedback to expand and
deepen the story you decide to develop this term.
Reflect on feedback you have received from your peers and
instructor, earlier resources offered in the modules, and your
own self-analysis of your writing pieces. What has or has not
been helpful in developing your stories? Determine from your
two story pitches which one you would like to develop further
as your final piece of nonfiction. (PITCH 1- Attached)
Describe how you will incorporate feedback or how you will
revise less effective passages in order to develop this piece for
final submission. Analyze what nonfiction-specific techniques
you had the most difficulty adapting to your writing and how
you can improve in that area. What was the most helpful part of
the peer review process, and what was the most frustrating part?
What did you find personally useful about providing actionable
recommendations concerning the effectiveness of structure in
the work of your peers?
For additional details, please refer to the Final Project II
Milestone One Guidelines and Rubric document in the
Assignment Guidelines and Rubrics section of the course.
The four hits off the fence
My pitch for the first story is the four hits off the fence, on that
sunny spring day of 1995, which brought me into the Rossiano

2. family. Ross is what Mark used for short to camouflage his
Italian last name and keep his omnipresent African American
roots. We quickly became good friends, not without the typical
brother’s spat or disagreements which would test the limits of
any common friendship. However, Mark would embrace
you(me) and I reciprocated in-kind leaving a sense of mutual
understanding and respect. A characteristic which spoke
volumes of Marks character and enforced our brotherly
bond.(not a whole sentence/revision suggested) Mark
(was)devoted his life to his family and friends which further
reflected genuine love and sincerity . A family first individual
who found no joy more delightful than to spend time with close
or distant family. Mark (comma here or Mark was) a product of
a biracial marriage often reminisced a lot when the house was
full of family, friends or others his mother would simply house.
Mark's home was not exempt from family squabbles, heated
debates, propositions or even law stretching schemes. However,
the family remained close-knit, unified and always willing to
support one another. Why Mark? (Central theme?) Mark is the
prodigy, who could make all possible; raising his nephews and
guiding one into the NFL. Or his daughter born with situs
inversus (internal organs reversed) reassuring everyone she will
be happy and healthy. What makes this story different than
another is the magnitude of heartbreak and pain one person
endured until finally succumbing to death himself. (is this a
question?) The approach I like to take is to narrate this story
would include an in-depth interview and compile notes from his
family members specifically his middle sister (Lori), his widow
(Tina), and daughters (Lauren and Leila). (to what end?) Also,
I plan to use YouTube, and his personal writings to further my
research. Also, Mark was a renowned poet and writer, and his
wife Tina made a lot of his work available for me to complete
my memoir.
Interesting story idea, however, I am unsure what the theme or
question is. I think this needs to be fleshed out a little more. I
think there is a good story here, just needs to be a little clearer

3. what the story is actually about and how the title fits in as I was
unsure while reading. Again, as in my previous review, I would
suggest to watch sentence structure. All in all, good job! Thanks
for sharing. I look forward to seeing the finished product!
The four hits off the fence Comment by Jack and Diane
Brewer: Interesting title – don’t see how it relates to the story
yet, but I like it.
My pitch for the first story is the four hits off the fence, on that
sunny spring day of 1995, which brought me into the Rossiano
family. Ross is what Mark used for short to camouflage his
Italian last name and keep his omnipresent African American
roots. We quickly became good friends, not without the typical
brother’s spat or disagreements which would test the limits of
any common friendship. However, Mark would embrace you and
I reciprocated in-kind leaving a sense of mutual understanding
and respect. A characteristic which spoke volumes of Marks
character and enforced our brotherly bond. Mark devoted his
life to his family and friends which further reflected genuine
love and sincerity . A family first individual who found no joy
more delightful than to spend time with close or distant family.
Mark a product of a biracial marriage often reminisced a lot
when the house was full of family, friends or others his mother
would simply house. Mark's home was not exempt from family
squabbles, heated debates, propositions or even law stretching
schemes. However, the family remained close-knit, unified and
always willing to support one another. Why Mark? Mark is the
prodigy, who could make all possible; raising his nephews and
guiding one into the NFL. Or his daughter born with situs
inversus (internal organs reversed) reassuring everyone she will
be happy and healthy. What makes this story different than
another is the magnitude of heartbreak and pain one person
endured until finally succumbing to death himself. The
approach I like to take is to narrate this story would include an
in-depth interview and compile notes from his family members

4. specifically his middle sister (Lori), his widow (Tina), and
daughters (Lauren and Leila). Also, I plan to use YouTube, and
his personal writings to further my research. Also, Mark was a
renowned poet and writer, and his wife Tina made a lot of his
work available for me to complete my memoir. Comment by
Jack and Diane Brewer: This was confusing because of how it is
worded, but I can relate to the shortening of the last name. My
Polish family legally changed their last name from Jarmelouicz
to Jarmel because no one could pronounce it. Comment by Jack
and Diane Brewer: Mark associates with being a black man
more than being Italian. Can you go further into detail about
his family—which parent is which? Is his family in-tact or
broken? Does he care which family members he spends time
with or is he closer to one side?
Comment by Jack and Diane Brewer: I can see why Mark
is so important to you and why you want to write his memoire.
Expand on why he raised his nephews and more personality
traits or dialogue that would bring the reader closer to Mark as
well. Comment by Jack and Diane Brewer: Good
resources/references