The document describes an expedition to the unexplored island of Honopopo led by Captain Jon Voyage and his assistant Groggins. They have come to explore and document the rare creatures on the island. Groggins mentions that his grandfather previously discovered Honopopo and that there is a legendary beast somewhere in the interior that has never been seen. Their original crew of 10 has been reduced to just Voyage and Groggins due to deaths from dysentery. They hope to find and capture rare animals to bring back, observe, and catalog as part of their scientific exploration of the uncharted island.

1. Honopopo
Captain voyage: You join us in the golden age of
exploration, in the time before maps were written
when the world was young and lost civilisation
yearned to be found and when undiscovered islands
whisper to young gentleman of fortune islands such
as Honopopo
Groggins: Oh, hello then Mr business how are you oh
here we are, oh dear-to-dear. Oh it’s hot isn’t it? Eh,
what have we got then? Eh here we are Mr business.
Do you know Mr business we are only the second
people to set foot upon this island. My grandfather
discovered the island of Honopopo and all that
remains of his finds is his notebook. The island is full
of rare and beautiful creatures ladies and gentleman
boys and girls, somewhere in the middle of the island
is a legendary beast that no one has ever seen. I hope
we can find it this time Mr business and all we do
ladies and gentleman is to catalogue and we always
put the animals back in their natural habitat, we
never like to hurt them do we Mr business. We
catalogue we observe and we put them back safely.
Right then ooh that reminds me, Mr business I’ve got
a gift for you ehh here we are this is the legendary
dart blowpipe of love and legend has it any dart
blown from this blow pipe will strike the creature and
it will fall in love with the first thing it sees that’s not
a gag for later on although it might be. There you are

2. MR business I give that to you cause you’re my friend,
there we are.
One last thing my snake trap my humane snake trap
somewhere on this island is a n Honopopon cobra
constrictor, a deadly snake with a venomous bite and
I am going to catch one to observe it and catalogueso
I’m going to set my trap in the bush. You coming Mr
business come along you come with me come along
give me your hand lets go set the trap shall we here
we are.
Captain voyage: oh afternoon oh very good, I say it
oof you say if, oof, if. Marvellous intellectualat a high
level I am the world famous Jon voyage no doubt you
have heard of me ahh good the rest of you are
rubbish. No doubt the audience have heard the star of
romantic fiction series up to meet god with Jon
voyage. No oh, the boys and girls here will have
defiantly have heard of my tourist attractioncaptain
Jon voyage’s taxidermy die-o-rama. Yes in the
museum. Now who here knows what taxidermy is.
What’s what, what’s taxidermy? No it’s not where you
drive taxis’s. Yes young man at the back. Exactly you
get an animal you peel its skin off, fill it with sand give
him glass eyes and you stick him in a glass cabinet.
Yes there is no need for azuzs because it’s cheaper
and you don’t have to fill it for the rest of their life.
Now imagine one day you are croaking through the
forest and then I jump out from behind a tree braid
you on the side of the head and fill you full of sand
and then loads of people from London pay 10
shillings to come and see your creepy glass eyes. Yes

3. now boys and girls legend has it that on this island
there is a big creature and where there is a big
creature there is big profit to be made oh yes that’s
why I’m here at the meeting point of capitalism and
science. Now where’s the rest of my crew then
Groggins.
Groggins: yes sir.
Captain voyage: attention Groggins tell them your
profession.
Groggins: Botanist sir.
Captain Voyage: botany, botany Groggins we may go
into the jungle but that’s no excuse for botany. Boys
and girls botany soon girls will be wearing trousers
and men will be wearing skirts arranging flowers and
then willwe be b-b-b-b-Babylon. I went to Babylon
once Groggins. In 2 days prancing around in dress
yes. But we must move without the order of hinder
now then boys and girl’s disaster has fallenupon our
expedition yes there we were a crew of 10 now there
is 2 of us yes dysentery Ill try this againdysentery,
yes thanks ladies and gentlemen it means death by
poo. Not a nice way to go my friends let me tell you,
you’re a nice friend Groggins tell them, yes terrible
business we had to burn his clothes off because it was
full of stench. Display an opening for a brave young
explorer. Wait a minute my friend, wait a minute we
shall go upon the wisdom of the monkey.

4. Groggins: oh, there we are. He is so clever isn’t he
like a homing pigeon. That’s it come over here come
over here come stand on this side.
Captain voyage: what’s your name ladies and
gentlemen boys and girls give it up for Zoey. Bow
Zoey bow. Now then deep breath in and out and in
and out marvellous now Zoey we have some things
that every young explorer needs.
Groggins: here’s your explores’ s bag you will need to
wear, its got some monkey nuts in there to feed the
wild life and sometimes when you are under threat so
I put that on there you are put your arm under there.
What else have I got oh lookI got this, this is a
magnifying glass ladies and gentleman.