This document discusses sources of exhaustion in various areas of life and ways to find blessings amid exhaustion. It addresses exhaustion in the trunk, or core, of one's being through personality types and traumatic life events. It also covers exhaustion in the roots, or foundation, through childhood development stages and cultivating spiritual roots. Further, it examines exhaustion in the branches, or specific roles, including marriage, parenting, career, friendships, and divorce. Throughout, it provides questions for reflection, advice, and encouragement for addressing exhaustion and prioritizing self-care.

1. Freedom
from
Exhaustion

2. My Exhausting Week

3. Overview
*The Trunk
*The Life of an Exhausted Tree
*Even Trees Have Personalities
*Life-Altering Tree Ring Events
*Blessings from Exhaustion
*The Roots
*Healthy Root Growth
*Cultivating Spiritual Roots
*Blessings from Exhaustion
*The Branches
*Marriage Branch
*Mothering Branch
*Professional Branch
*Friendship Branch
*Pruning a Branch: Divorce
*Blessings from Exhaustion

4. The Trunk
The Life of an
Exhausted Tree

6. 1. Are you driven to achieve in
every area of your life?
2. Do petty things set you off?
3. Do you withdraw or withhold
intimacy when you feel
attacked?
4. Are you easily annoyed by
others?
5. Do you feel spiritually dry?
6. Are you frequently
dissatisfied with others’
commitment or dedication
to work?
7. Do you often miss out on fun
because you are trying to
please someone else?
8. Do you feel the need to
defend your decisions,
actions, beliefs, and
emotions?
9. Are you highly competitive?
10. Do you feel crushed by the
weight of everyday chores,
demands, and expectations?
11. Are you hyper-protective
about yourself and your
family?
12. Do you dwell on new,
unrealistic problems instead
of focusing on the
immediate?
13. Are you juggling too many
balls in the air?
14. Do you fail to make
allowances for failure,
disappointment, or loss?
15. Do you over-think even
simple things?
16. Are you over-committed?
17. Do you obsess about a
conversation, decision, or
event?
18. Are you over-whelmed in
your day-to-day?
19. Do you feel obligated to
take on more responsibility
for others?
20. Do you have trouble getting
to sleep or staying asleep
because of your thoughts?
21. Are you stressed to the point
of exhaustion?
22. Do you strive for
perfectionism?
23. Are you taken for granted
because you will almost
always get the job done?
24. Do you take on unnecessary
responsibility?
25. Do you try hard to please
others at your own expense?
26. Are you the most
dependable person you
know?
27. Do you find yourself saying,
“I’m sorry” when you are
not really sorry?
28. Are your high standards
tougher for yourself than
others?
29. Do you apologize for things
that aren’t your fault?
30. Is it hard to turn off your
thoughts?

7. *20 – 30. Boy, are you exhausted! I understand that
some of the items on this list look normal, some are,
but when you combine 20 or more together it is too
much.
*10 – 20. You are not completely exhausted yet, but
are well on your way. Fine tune areas of your life
that need improvement to keep total exhaustion at
bay.
*0 – 10. YEA! There is very little exhaustion in your
life. But my guess is that there are still a couple of
things you would like to improve in your life.

8. *Recognize you are wounded
*Assess you abilities
*Clean up your wound
*Stitch up your wound
*Bandage you wound

9. The Trunk
Even Trees Have
Personalities

11. *Goal:
*Get it done now
*Motivation:
*Competitive
*Major Strength:
*Driven
*Need:
*To be in control
*Fear:
*Being taken advantage of
*Major Weakness:
*Bully

15. The Trunk
Life-Altering Tree
Ring Events

16. *Abandonment, adultery, or addiction
*Bankruptcy, foreclosure, or building a
house
*Birth of child, abortion, or adoption
*Change in vocation or obtaining
additional education
*Conviction and sentencing of criminal
or civil offense
*Death of a spouse, child, parent,
sibling or close friend
*Diagnosis of mental illness or other
sicknesses
*Disabilities from trauma, health
issue, or physical condition
*Emotional, physical, psychological,
or sexual abuse
*Illness from cancer, HIV, tumor, or
other significant ailments
*Job loss, business loss, job gain, or
significant change in financial status
*Marriage, separation, or divorce
*Military deployment or imprisonment
*Move from one part of the country to
another or change in social status
*Recent improvements in health
*Retirement or children leaving home
*Significant success professionally,
personally, or financially
*Spiritual decision and commitment of
faith
*Suicide of a family member or friend
*Trauma from 9/11, war, bombings, or
fire
*Trauma from accidents or injuries
*Your child’s illness, disability or
disorder

17. *Make a list
*Which events still have an immediate emotional reaction
*Put them in order from most significant to least
*Begin with the least and then move to the most
significant
*Work from the outside towards the middle

18. Healing from Abuse
Blessings from
Exhaustion

19. The Roots
Healthy Root Growth

20. Stage Age Important
Events
Significant
Relations
General
Characteristics
Virtue Maladaptation
Trust vs.
Mistrust
Birth – 1 year Feeding Maternal Are my parents
trustworthy?
Hope Withdraw
Autonomy vs.
Shame and
Doubt
1 – 3 years Toilet Training Paternal Can I do things
myself?
Will Impulsivity
Initiative vs.
Guilt
3 – 6 years Exploration Basic Family Am I good or
bad?
Purpose Cruelty
Industry vs.
Inferiority
6 – 12 years School School Am I worthless? Competence Apathy
Identity vs. Role
Confusion
12 – 18 years Social
Relationships
Peer Groups Who am I? Fidelity Radicalism
Intimacy vs.
Isolation
18 – 34 years Intimate
Relationships
Friendships
Spouse
Shall I share my
life with
someone or live
alone?
Love Promiscuity
Generativity vs.
Stagnation
34 – 64 years Work
Parenthood
Work
Family
Will I succeed in
life?
Care Overextension
Ego Integrity vs.
Despair
65 to death Reflection on
Life
Humankind Have I lived a
full life?
Wisdom Disdain

21. *What stage do you have trauma in?
*Which stages do you believe you have not
successfully completed?
*What stage are you currently in?
*What stage should be in?

22. *Identify where you need help
*Seek out help specifically for that area
*Remember you don’t have to remain a victim
*Life can be different
*Resolve to leave the past in the past

23. The Roots
Cultivating Spiritual
Roots

24. “And he also said, ‘It is finished! I am the
Alpha and the Omega—the Beginning and
the End. To all who are thirsty I will give
freely from the springs of the water of
life’” (Rev. 21:6).

25. *It is by knowing Jesus Christ that you receive
proper nourishment
*Your roots need constant nourishment
*Roots absorb nourishment actively and passively
*Passive is the gifting of the Holy Spirit
*Active absorption requires effort
*Reading your Bible
*Fellowshipping
*Memorizing a life verse

26. *The Ten Commandments
*Grace/forgiveness
*In the center is love
*“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or
proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not
irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does
not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth
wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always
hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” 1
Corinthians 13:4-7

27. Combining Psychology
and Christianity
Blessings from
Exhaustion

28. The Branches
Marriage Branch

29. *SWOT
*Strengths
*Weaknesses
*Opportunities
*Threats

30. *Appearance
*Support
*Encouragement
*Safety
*Togetherness
*Appreciate
*Understand
*Cherish
*Comparing
*Minimizing
*Questioning
*Exaggerating
*Ridiculing
*Mocking
*Nagging
*Upstaging

31. *Difficulty making minor
decisions
*Intimacy is routine not
heartfelt
*Preferring to spend free time
alone
*Already brought up divorce or
separation
*The excitement is completely
gone
*Conversation is limited to the
bare essentials
*Intentionally avoiding your
spouse
*Fantasies of other partners
*Going to bed at different times
*No sex or interest in sex

32. The Branches
Mothering Branch

33. *“A” is Active Starfruit
*Family calendars full
*Always going out and doing something
*”B” is Bookkeeper Olive
*Invisible ledger
*Balance to prevent favoritism and equal punishment
*“C” is Cautious Coconut
*Danger lurks behind every corner
*No irresponsibility ever
*“D” is Direct Apples
*Thoughts are stated
*No question as to who is in charge

34. *No emotions.
*No questions.
*No explanations.

35. *Out of balance hormones
*Disrespectful attitudes
*Be loving
*Appropriate discipline

36. The Branches
Professional Branch

37. *Less expectations
*More down time
*No rescuing
*No comparing
*Stop taking on other’s
tasks

38. *Pick your battles
*Use the
hamburger
method
*Compliment
*Confront
*Compliment
*Use it only once
*Show no emotion
*Don’t get
defensive
*Don’t give ground

39. *Quick reactions. Responses are immediately
strained, anxious, or even angry without reason.
*Biting sarcasm. This surprising dig is usually followed
by the comment, “I was only joking.”
*Malicious gossip. Some people even go to such
lengths to justify their gossip by saying they were just
trying to inform or protect someone else. This is still
gossip.
*Dreaming of revenge. Daydreaming of ways to get
back at someone or finding ways to outdo another
person reveals bitterness.

40. The Branches
Friendship Branch

41. *Listens when your ramblings sound
crazy
*Makes time to be together even when
life is hectic
*Never betrays a secret
*Reminds you of your hopes and
dreams
*Isn’t demanding
*Picks up right where things left off
without complaining or imposing guilt
for any absence
*Encourages when others are
discouraging
*Provides wisdom mixed with kindness
*Forgives without being asked
*Lends a hand (or a foot) when
needed
*Defends your character
*Is fiercely loyal
*Is brutally honest
*Stands guard when your past comes
back to haunt
*Laughs when laughter is needed
*Cries when crying is needed
*Supports without demanding
perfection
*Shows mercy and grace
*Keeps life in balance when it gets out
of balance
*Loves deeply without expectations on
performance
*Never quits being a friend

42. *Reason for the
friendship
*Back away if needed
*Less friendships are
better than more
*Make the first move of
kindness
*Allow for grace
*Risk intimacy
*Know your season

43. *What is
forgiveness
*Why forgive
*How to forgive

44. The Branches
Pruning a Branch:
Divorce

45. *Get focused
*Get real
*Get personal
*Get moving

46. *Start with a separation
*Change yourself
*Forgive each other
*Take your time
*Evaluate your options
*Remain hopeful

47. *Denial
*Anger
*Depression
*Acceptance

48. Surviving Divorce
Blessings from
Exhaustion