This document summarizes a five-point marriage checkup that provides key nutrients to help marriages bloom and be healthy. The five points are: commit to love, cherish and respect each other, be gracious and forgive, choose the right words in communication, and seek a greater purpose for the marriage. It provides scriptural backing for each point and questions for couples to assess how strong each area is in their relationship to identify any areas for growth. It then describes a five-week online program that can help couples strengthen their marriage in a convenient and affordable way.

1. The Essential Five-Point Marriage Check Up
Bloom!Bloom!Bloom!Bloom!Bloom!Bloom!Bloom!Bloom!
The Essential Five-Point Marriage Check Up
© Mass Ignition1

2. "But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,
whose confidence is in him.
He will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit."and never fails to bear fruit."
The heart is deceitful above all things
and beyond cure.
Who can understand it?
© Mass Ignition2

3. Blessed is the man
who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked
or stand in the way of sinners
or sit in the seat of mockers.
But his delight is in the law of the LORD,
and on his law he meditates day and night.
He is like a tree planted by streams of water,He is like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither.
Whatever he does prospers.
© Mass Ignition3

4. Trusts in the LORD
Delights in the law of the LORD
On his law meditates day and night
Leaves are always green
Never fails to bear fruit
Does not wither in the heat
Does not walk in the counsel of the
wicked
Heart is deceitful above all things
© Mass Ignition4

5. Question: How do you
know the health of your
marriage?
© Mass Ignition5
marriage?

6. BrianBrian RhenRhen::
•• Pastor
• Marriage Coach
• Married
• Kids
© Mass Ignition6
• Kids

7. The BloomThe Bloom
FiveFive--Point MarriagePoint Marriage
© Mass Ignition7
FiveFive--Point MarriagePoint Marriage
Check UpCheck Up

8. What it takes to BLOOM!What it takes to BLOOM!
The 5 key nutrients:The 5 key nutrients:
••Commit to LoveCommit to Love
••Cherish & RespectCherish & Respect
© Mass Ignition8
••Cherish & RespectCherish & Respect
••Be Gracious & ForgiveBe Gracious & Forgive
••Choose the RightWordsChoose the RightWords
••Seek a Greater PurposeSeek a Greater Purpose

9. COMMIT To “sacrificial” LOVECOMMIT To “sacrificial” LOVE
DAILY
This is my command: Love (agape) each other. John 15:17
© Mass Ignition9
YEARLY
SEASONALLY

10. COMMIT TO “sacrificial” LOVECOMMIT TO “sacrificial” LOVE
-WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT
-QUALITYTIME
-GIFTS
5 Love Languages
© Mass Ignition10
-GIFTS
-ACTS OF SERVICE
-PHYSICALTOUCH

11. CHECKUP QUESTION #1
How committed are
you to love?
© Mass Ignition11
you to love?

12. Committed to love?
wife
complete
© Mass Ignition12
Committed to love?
husband
completeroom to improve
roomtoimprove

13. CHERISH & RESPECTCHERISH & RESPECT
However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself,
and the wife must respect her husband. Eph. 5:33
with
cherish
shehe
© Mass Ignition13
with
respect
she
responds
he
responds
she
reacts
he
reacts
without
respect
without
cherish

14. CHECKUP QUESTION #2
What is the degree you feel
cherished (wife) and
© Mass Ignition14
cherished (wife) and
respected (husband?)

15. Cherished and
Respected?
wife
cherished
© Mass Ignition15
Respected?
husband
respectedroom to improve
roomtoimprove

16. BE GRACIOUS & FORGIVEBE GRACIOUS & FORGIVE
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you
may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
Colossians 3:13
Grace leaves
space for
Forgiveness
releases
© Mass Ignition16
space for
error
“an attitude”
releases
“a process”

17. CHECKUP QUESTION #3
How capable are you of being
gracious and of forgiving?
© Mass Ignition17
gracious and of forgiving?

18. Gracious and Forgiving?
wife
complete
© Mass Ignition18
husband
completeroom to improve
roomtoimprove

19. CHOOSE THE RIGHTWORDSCHOOSE THE RIGHTWORDS
Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.
James 1:19
Argument REACTING the other
Destructive offensive, names, sarcasm, violent = scarring
© Mass Ignition19
Disagreement REACTING issue
Harsh defensive, personalities arise = separating
Normal dialogue RESPONDING each other
Kind attentive, encouraging = supporting

20. CHOOSE THE RIGHTWORDSCHOOSE THE RIGHTWORDS
CIRCUMSTANCE
EMOTIONS
Hurt, Fear,Want, Joy
THOUGHTS
© Mass Ignition20
Hurt, Fear,Want, Joy
3 sec.
with self
REACT
“FLESH”
with God
RESPOND
“SPIRIT”

21. CHOOSE THE RIGHTWORDSCHOOSE THE RIGHTWORDS
REACT: “STAND OFF” REACT: “TELL OFF”
RESPOND
“GRACE
© Mass Ignition21
REACT: “GIVE UP” REACT: “HOLD ON ”
“GRACE
&
TRUTH”

22. CHOOSE THE RIGHTWORDSCHOOSE THE RIGHTWORDS
REACT: “STAND OFF” REACT: “TELL OFF”
Listen
Clarify Thoughts
© Mass Ignition22
REACT: “GIVE UP” REACT: “HOLD ON ”
Clarify Thoughts
Identify Feelings
Right Tone, Time, Words
Find Compromise

23. CHECKUP QUESTION #4
Are you using the right words
in your communication?
© Mass Ignition23
in your communication?

24. SEEK A GREATER PURPOSESEEK A GREATER PURPOSE
The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me. Psalm 138:8
People
seldom hit
what they
do not
© Mass Ignition24
do not
aim at.”
Thoreau

25. SEEK A GREATER PURPOSESEEK A GREATER PURPOSE
•Marriage Purpose Statement
•MarriageVerse
•Values (being)
The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me. Psalm 138:8
© Mass Ignition25
•Values (being)
•Goals (doing)
•Dreams
•Prayer

26. CHECKUP QUESTION #5
How purposeful is
your marriage?
© Mass Ignition26
your marriage?

27. BLOOM!
Where are you?
© Mass Ignition27
Where are you?

28. FINAL CHECKUPFINAL CHECKUP
Rank each on a scale of 1(weak)Rank each on a scale of 1(weak) -- 5(strong)5(strong)
___Commit to Love___Commit to Love
___Cherish & Respect___Cherish & Respect
© Mass Ignition28
___Cherish & Respect___Cherish & Respect
___Be Gracious & Forgive___Be Gracious & Forgive
___Choose the RightWords___Choose the RightWords
___Seek a Greater Purpose___Seek a Greater Purpose

29. Do you want to grow inDo you want to grow in
any of these five areas?any of these five areas?
© Mass Ignition29

30. A 5-WEEKTUNE-UP FOR ANY MARRIAGE
Bloom!Bloom!Bloom!Bloom!Bloom!Bloom!Bloom!Bloom!
A 5-WEEKTUNE-UP FOR ANY MARRIAGE
© Mass Ignition30

31. •• 55--weeksweeks of live webinarsof live webinars (1 per week)
•• 11--yearyear of groupof group teletele--coachingcoaching (1 per month)
•• LifetimeLifetime access to recorded materialsaccess to recorded materials
(including updated materials)
•• 55--weeksweeks of follow-up e-course (1 per•• 55--weeksweeks of follow-up e-course (1 per
week)
© Mass Ignition31

32. •• ConvenientConvenient –– take from home
•• RepeatableRepeatable –– review anytime
•• NormallyNormally $625 for 5-weeks
•• OnlyOnly $249$249 for signing up today
•• < $50< $50 per session per couple
•• 60 day60 day moneymoney--backback guaranteeguarantee
© Mass Ignition32

33. •• 15%15% of proceeds donated
•• Vision AbolitionVision Abolition –– building homes and
providing care for girls in Fiji
© Mass Ignition33

34. When is Bloom?When is Bloom?
5 Wednesdays
Time: 7:30 PM – 9:00 PST
Starts February 2, 2011Starts February 2, 2011
February 9, February 16
March 2, March 9
© Mass Ignition34

35. Sign up todaySign up today
© Mass Ignition35
http://bit.ly/blkYPM