The document provides guidance for students on writing an effective personal statement for college applications, including identifying key skills, providing examples to demonstrate skills, and beginning to plan and draft their own personal statement by considering what to include about their subjects, college choice, extracurricular activities, interests, goals and examples of skills. It also discusses common mistakes to avoid and has students practice interview skills through a role play activity.

1. Thursday 11th October 2012
Writing an effective personal
statement
Learning objectives: I will be able to
identify what makes an effective
personal statement
Starter: write down what you’re
planning to do when you leave
Saltley

2. The focus for these lessons
• You will be writing your actual personal
statement that will be used for college
applications as part of your English lessons.
• You will then undertake a role play activity
based on a college interview worth just under
7% of your final GCSE.

3. You will be applying to go to college, but here’s some
real shockers from the University of Glasgow’s archive.
What’s wrong with these statements?
• ‘My ambitions include learning to sky
dive, becoming fantastically rich as well as
improving my A-Level grades.’
• ‘At school I held the position of head bog.’
• ‘I have many interests, both intellectual and
social’
• ‘I’m training a pet rat and have recently
become interested in reading.’

4. A few statistics…
• Over 50,000 courses
• 309 colleges and universities
• 464,167 applicants to HE for 2009
• Top five courses at degree level:
Law, Psychology, Nursing, Medicine, English

5. Let’s look at two personal statements
Look at the two personal statements in front of you.
Now consider which applicant has most effectively
demonstrated:
1. Why they’ve chosen specific subjects in a
convincing and enthusiastic way?
2. Why they’re applying to a particular college?
3. The skills they have and how they’ve used
them?
4. What interests and hobbies they have?
5. Their long term career goals and ambitions?

6. Examples of key skills
• Read Candidate A’s application and consider which
of the following key skills the applicant has
demonstrated:
• * communication * leadership
• * problem solving * willingness to learn
• * responsibility * team working
• * organisation * initiative
• * self discipline * patience
• * sensitivity * commitment

7. Plenary
• What makes an effective personal statement?
Come up with a list of three points:
• 1.
• 2.
• 3.
• What ‘wow’ words can I use in my own
personal statement?

8. Tuesday 16th October 2012
Writing an effective personal
statement – lesson 2
Learning objectives: I will begin
planning and drafting my personal
statement
Starter: on the next slide is a list of
‘golden rules’. Number them according
to how important you think they are.

9. Top ten golden rules
Put these rules in order of how important you think they
are:
• Be specific and display precise knowledge; don’t be vague
• Be honest; only include what you know about
• Research courses thoroughly to show your enthusiasm for
and understanding of the subject
• Try to sound interesting and interested, but don’t overdo it
• Express your information and ideas clearly
• Don’t be negative; see failures as ‘learning experiences’
• Organise your material
• Don’t misuse words to try to look clever
• Don’t state the obvious or repeat yourself
• Spelling and grammar are crucial
You can only write a maximum of 1 side of A4

10. What should I include in my personal statement? This
information is available on your sheet
• Which subjects are you applying to study at college? Why have you chosen
these subjects at college?
• Why are you applying to a particular college? What do you think that this
college can offer you? What can you offer the college – contribute to a
netball team or any sports teams; what clubs activities do they have that
you would be particularly interested in?
• How do you currently contribute to school life – prefect, clubs, helping
out; were you a peer mentor or member of the School Council
• Activities that you have got involved in – Unifest; visit to Oxford /
Cambridge university; Science Crest Challenge, school trips abroad – what
have you got out of these activities.
• What are your interests and hobbies outside school? What do you enjoy
about them?
• Work experience – where did you go; activities you did; certificate you
achieved. Do you do voluntary work - Saturday job, babysitting etc.
• What are you long term goals and ambitions – plans for the future –
university, subjects career and more importantly why?
• You can only write a maximum of 1 side of A4.

11. Give examples of your skills
Rather than just claiming to have a
skill, demonstrate how you’ve developed and
used it.
For example: instead of writing ‘I have good
communication skills’ you could instead say:
– I work part-time at a shop and this requires me to
communicate with a wide range of people, both in
person and over the telephone.
- My work as a peer mediator meant that I had to be
able to listen carefully to my peers in order for me to
assist them to resolve their problems
- During my work experience, I had to work in an
insurance firm where I…

12. Beware!
• Do not just copy
and paste from
statements online.
• Self-praise is no
praise. Give
evidence to show
how you’re good at
something.

13. Let’s start planning
• Your task is now to begin planning your
personal statement.
• Use the grid to help you plan.

14. Opening paragraph
• Now write your opening paragraph
• We will peer assess each other’s opening
paragraphs to avoid any errors
• Now begin writing the rest of your personal
statement

15. Drama Role Play
Learning objective: to understand
interview techniques and then apply
in the form of a role play
Starter: if you are going for an interview, what
must you do to ensure that you are successful?

16. Introduction
• View the following footage, what does Parkinson
do well as an interviewer and how does the
interviewee respond to the questions.
• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-
Gr0Fa_QPNU&feature=fvsr
• View the following footage, what does Tom
Cruise do badly as an interviewer and how does
the interviewee respond to the questions.
• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8hGvQtumN
AY

17. Creating and sustaining roles
Band 5 ‘Sophisticated • Create complex characters and challenging roles using
and impressive’ insightful choices of dramatic approaches
13 – 15 • Explore and respond to complex ideas and issues in formal
and informal scenarios
Band 4 – confident • Create convincing characters and roles using a range of
and assured (10 – 12) carefully selected verbal and non-verbal techniques
• Respond skilfully and sensitively in different situations and
scenarios
Band 3 – clear and • Develop and sustain roles and characters through
consistent (7 – 9) appropriate language and effective movement and
gestures
• Make contributions to the development of situations and
ideas, showing insight into significant issues.
Band 2 – Some (4 – 6) • Show understanding of characters by creating
straightforward roles using speech, gesture and
movement
• Make contributions to the development of situations and
ideas, showing understanding into significant issues

18. Development
• Task: You are going for an interview to college. In
pairs/threes conduct the interview, one person is
going to ask the questions and the other will be
answering.
Example questions:
1. Tell me about yourself.
2. What qualities do you possess?
3. What are your weaknesses?
4. Why do you want to come to this college?

19. Plenary
• What did you do well?
• What could you improve on?