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Uploaded byDuane Lakin, PhD.
Fine-Tune your ATTITUDE
The document discusses the impact of attitude on success, emphasizing that limiting beliefs often hinder performance and should be reframed into empowering thoughts. It provides exercises for identifying and overcoming limiting beliefs, encouraging self-reflection and optimism in the sales process. The overall message is that one’s mindset can significantly influence their ability to achieve goals and build trust with customers.
Fine-Tune your ATTITUDE
- 1. Fine-Tune your Attitude BUILDTRUST UNDERSTAND LEAD ©2016 Lakin Associates
- 2. Top sellers inevery industry are motivated by the same thing: FEAR
- 3. Winner’s Mantra: “I fearfailing; therefore I will not fail.” Non-winner’s Mantra: “I fear failing; therefore I will not try.”
- 4. The biggest obstacleto your success is your own attitude.
- 5. The brain “listens”to what you say to yourself and guides your perceptions.
- 6. I must NOThit that tree! WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?
- 7. “I can’t doit.” “That seems like a big waste of time.” “I guess I can try.” “I’m not ready for this.”
- 8. If you thinkyou CAN or CAN NOT do something… …You are right.
- 9. If you wantto cold call, you will do well. If you do not want to cold call, don’t bother.
- 11. You always havechoices.
- 12. You always havechoices about... Your experience of the world How you react to others Your futureAND your past
- 13. Which “belief” choicedo YOU make? LIMITING I can’t Nothing I can do Our price is too high Competition is tough Customer doesn’t have any money EMPOWERING I can There are options Our value is great We are different I can help customer want to buy
- 14. DANGEROUS WORDS I can’t I’lltry OK, but… I should I must I have to I always I never
- 15. Discover your Limiting Beliefs Reframeyour Beliefs Energize Yourself with Goals
- 16.
- 17. Your Limiting Beliefsare often hidden from your awareness. But there are clues.
- 18.
- 19. Key phrases arealso hints of Limiting Beliefs: I can’t I shouldn’t I mustn’t I won’t It’s impossible
- 20. Say each aloudand notice the difference in how you feel: I can’t get to him I can get to him I won’t be able to finish I will be able to finish It’s impossible It can be done
- 21. We all talkto ourselves. He’s going to say ‘no’.
- 22. We all talkto ourselves. I must get this sale or I’m dead.
- 23. “I’m just atechnical guy, not a negotiator.” “Salesmen are hustlers. I don’t want to be seen like that.” “It will hurt my relationship with the customer if I argue about price.” “I might still make this sale if I don’t bring up price.”
- 24. Exercise: Write downyour last TEN customer contacts. What did you say to yourself before each contact? After? Then: Evaluate those contacts. How did they go? What contributed to that outcome? Is there a trend?
- 25. There are usuallythree sources of “limiting beliefs”. Helplessness Hopelessness Worthlessness
- 26. There are usuallythree sources of “limiting beliefs”. “I can’t.” “It’s impossible.” “I always fail.”
- 27. Symptoms of aLimiting Belief • Blame • Low energy/commitment • Low initiativeHelpless • Alibis • Excuses • Apologies • Critical/envious of others Hopeless • Self conscious • Indecision/low ambition • Self-deprecation • Fear of criticism Worthless
- 28. EXERCISE: On a pieceof paper, write as quickly as you can as MANY answers as you can to this question: “My sales are not as good as I would like them to be because…”
- 29. Challenges of changingLimiting Beliefs Identifying the Belief Engineering a better “empowering” message
- 30. Example of “benefits”from Limiting Beliefs
- 31. Overcoming Self-Limiting Beliefs Bekind to yourself Your Limiting Beliefs are NOT facts (they are habits) You can reframe them
- 32. Freeing yourself fromyour Limiting Beliefs gives you CHOICES and FLEXIBILITY (And the person with the most flexibility wins!)
- 33. Expand your flexibilityby expanding your perspective
- 34.
- 35.
- 36. I get nervous Iam excited about learning from the customer Reframe the Limiting Belief
- 37. I can’t… • ...overcomethe price problem I CAN • …describe value and benefit Reframe the Limiting Belief
- 38. I don’t wantto fail… There is no failure…only feedback Reframe the Limiting Belief
- 39. You MUST readyour new statements ALOUD every day.
- 40. Confront the “voice” 1.Visualize it. (Who is it?) 2. Make it louder. (Discover your control over the voice!) 3. Allow yourself to feel uncomfortable. 4. Then say aloud, “no”. 5. State the new belief.
- 41.
- 42. Do you believein the product/service? Do you feel good talking about it, showing it? Do you believe the customer will benefit from it? Do you see yourself becoming successful selling it? Are you fully committed?
- 43.
- 44. Optimism is confidencethat you can solve a problem and adversity is outside you, not you.
- 45. An optimistic personknows… …The problem is outside me …the problem is limited to this specific situation …the problem is short term and can be overcome
- 46. Problem: “How canI get this sale?” (Use all of your ‘hats’) CREATIVE PRAGMATIC CRITICAL
- 47. Daily 4-Step Checkto Fine-Tune your Attitude What feedback did I get today? What did I learn? How much did I make today? What is the plan for tomorrow?
- 48.
- 49. What is agood goal for you? WANT DON’T WANT HAVE DON’T HAVE Source of Comfort Source of Distraction “Away- from” Goals “Towards” goals
- 50. Napoleon Hill’s GoalProcess 1. Fix in your mind exactly what you want. 2. Define what you will give in return. 3. Define what you are willing to give up. 4. Set a definite date to hit your target. 5. Create a plan and begin at once! 6. Write it (them) down and read twice a day: at bedtime and when arising in the morning.
- 51. Fix in yourmind exactly what you want.
- 52. Define what youwill give in return. Define what you are willing to give up.
- 53. Evaluate your goal Whatwill you see, hear, feel when you achieve this goal? What will you see, hear, feel if you decide not to pursue this goal? What will you not see, hear, feel when you achieve this goal? What will you not see, hear, feel if you decide not to pursue this goal?
- 54. Set a definitedate to hit your target Create a plan and begin at once
- 55. Write it (them)down and read twice a day: at bedtime and when arising in the morning.
- 56. Goal Checklist How doesyour goal fit with your values and beliefs? How does it fit with those who are important to you? Who can help you with the resources you need? What is your next action step?
- 57. Model excellence…the greatest resourceavailable. If one person can do something, anyone can learn to do it…even you.
- 58. Is it soeasy? “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” Thomas Edison
- 59. Fear does notjust disappear.
- 60. When fear arises… 1.Breathe 2. Thank it for confirming you care about what you are doing 3. State aloud your empowering beliefs 4. Remind yourself of your goal 5. Act. (Stop thinking and move on)
- 61. Remember what youvalue. That is all that is important. The rest is just distraction.
- 62. When you sell,focus on doing the right thing for the customer. When you do that, your limiting beliefs will have less power. BUILD TRUST UNDERSTAND LEAD
- 63. A few lastthoughts…
- 64. Anything worth doingis worth doing _______* *poorly….how else will you ever learn?
- 65. There is nofailure… …only feedback
- 66. If you don’twant to do something, one excuse is as good as another.
- 67. If something isn’tworking, try something else.
- 68. SUMMARY The biggest obstacleto your success is your own attitude. What you feel and say to yourself is how the customer will see you. Reframe your Limiting Beliefs and energize yourself with goals.
Editor's Notes
- #2 Nothing can stop you from being successful…except perhaps you. Because the brain and your language…including self talk…are so closely connected, what you say to yourself impacts what you do. So look carefully at what you say to yourself. You may decide it is time to fine-tune your attitude to fully enjoy the Unfair Advantage. Click on the attachment button at the top of the slide to download the slides for note taking. When you have printed the file, click below to continue.
- #3 I sat with some brokers making millions of dollars a year and they told me the same thing other sellers have told me: Their primary motivation is FEAR. So why are they so successful? Because they translate that fear into strong achievement-driven activities. The fear remains day after day, but they use that fear to energize them. They fear that today was their last lucky day and tomorrow they make no sales. So they are the first to work, the last to leave, and the most driven during the hours in between. I have seen this same characteristic in every group of top sellers I have worked with over a thirty-plus year career. The key difference between top sellers and average sellers: Their attitude and beliefs drive them to work harder and achieve more. They are energized and empowered by what they believe and what they tell themselves. Fear makes them hungry. They never give up and never stop. But what about other people? The story is not always the same.
- #4 The difference between these statements is critical. One group uses fear to motivate. The other group tells itself to avoid the fear by not trying. Many people tell themselves such things to avoid pain or fear. When they tell themselves such things, they are holding themselves back and limiting their chance of being successful. These kinds of self-directed messages are called Limiting Beliefs.
- #5 Your attitude…especially the things you say to yourself…can make the difference between being successful and being average. You may not be aware of the things you say to yourself all of the time, and that is what gives those messages so much power. This lesson is dedicated to helping you learn to hear those messages, recognize them for what they are and can be, and then choose the message you want to live by.
- #6 The brain does not try to sort what is real versus what is perception. It accepts your language, especially your internal voice talking to you. What you say to yourself, the brain hears and responds. If you decide to look for red cars, suddenly, you’ll see a lot of them. If you decide you are going to have a bad day, you will be able to notice how unpleasant the things around you are. And of course, your prediction will be right.
- #7 your perceptions become colored by what you have told your brain. It follows your direction, even when you don’t intend it to do so. And remember from Workshop Six, the brain also ignores the negatives. So the tree…gets hit more often than not.
- #8 When you say things like this to yourself, you are telling your brain to influence the outcome in that direction.
- #9 The problem, of course, is noticing when you say such things to yourself. For many people, it is so much of a habit…those limiting beliefs…that they don’t notice how often they say “I’m not sure I can do this.” Or “I might mess this up” or “there is no way this guy is going to buy from me.” And of course, you’re right.
- #10 The same can be said for your belief in your product or service. If you do not believe in what you are selling, don’t bother trying. It is a waste of time. You cannot fake it. Your brain knows! If you expect to succeed, you will. If you expect to fail, again, you will.
- #11 the brain will listen. Different words lead to different results. What you say to yourself sets you on a path toward an outcome, positive or negative, empowering or limiting.
- #12 You always have choices. But it is difficult to recognize that you have a choice when you are at a crossroads or under pressure, because you often accept your inner voice or dialogue as truth or reality. Too often, when you say, “I can’t do that”, you truly believe it. That inner voice becomes a habit, and you just accept it. You do not recognize that you have a choice: You can say and believe, “I CAN do that” if you were to make a different choice. And a different choice of messages to yourself will lead to a different set of outcomes. So the initial challenge is to discover how frequently you send yourself (and your brain) a message that blocks your success---a LIMITING BELIEF---a belief that limits your potential for success.
- #13 Yes..you even have choices about your past, because you interpret your past and that influences how you think about your future. “I always fail” or “I can never do that” or “I am awful at math”. All those kind of comments are commentary on your past that now influences your future. You have a choice. You can use a different language when you talk with yourself. But you must learn to recognize the messages you are sending now to know how to change.
- #14 Notice the difference. For every Limiting Belief, it is possible to create an Empowering Belief…something you can do that will lead to a different outcome. By choosing to operate with Empowering Beliefs, you give yourself more energy and more, well, power to be effective. Look at these comments and click below when you are ready to proceed.
- #15 Begin to notice and listen to yourself. When you use these words, an alarm should go off. These are words that limit your choices. They are part of your Limiting Beliefs. They are NOT TRUE, but you may act as if they are. In NLP, we call this an hallucination. They limit you. Learn to notice them. Click below when you are ready to proceed.
- #16 In this workshop, you look at the words you use and the beliefs you carry, we will talk about three areas: Discovering your Limiting Beliefs…those that get in your way, how to Reframe your Beliefs so they are no longer limiting you, and finally, how to use goals to energize yourself.
- #17 Let’s begin to look for our Limiting beliefs. You have them...we all do. You also have the power to do something about them.
- #19 All of these behaviors get in the way of someone being successful. They are typically clues that the individual is afraid of success (“I am not worthy”), afraid of subsequent expectations, or afraid of being criticized. All are signs of limiting beliefs related to a sense of worth and capability. If you want to change your’s or someone else’s behavior, you need to dig down and find the limiting beliefs that are at the core of the behavior.
- #20 When you use any of these phrases with yourself, you are probably revealing a limiting belief.
- #21 Do you notice a difference in how you feel, sit, use your voice, in how you breathe…simply by saying one or the other of each pair?
- #24 These are all comments I have heard from sellers during coaching sessions. What do you think such beliefs do to the energy and effectiveness of the seller? Click below when you are ready to continue.
- #25 What did you say to explain the outcomes? Did you have similar explanations? C-can you remember what you said to yourself BEFORE each contact? How about after? Any trends there? If you begin to ask such questions of yourself, you will begin to notice that an inner voice---it could be anyone’s---seems to be saying things to you. That inner voice, as if you are talking to yourself will help you recognize your Limiting Beliefs.
- #26 These seem pretty serious. But we don’t perceive them that way when we hear a limiting belief. The inner voice sends a slightly different message in most cases…
- #27 These are more typical things we say to ourselves, yet the underlying message is still the same: I am limited in what I can do.
- #28 Words are not the only way people reveal Limiting Beliefs. As you saw earlier, actions can also reveal the negative things people will tell themselves. I don’t know when or why people begin to act this way in response to limiting beliefs, and it is unimportant. What IS important is how to get rid of them so they do not impact your sales effectiveness. Click below when you are ready to proceed.
- #29 Now…what have you said? Do you see any “limiting beliefs”? Remember, these are statements that you are telling yourself AS IF they were true but they are not necessarily true. They become true ONLY if you say them to yourself. Find any in the list? Compare your list to the attachment for this Lesson called “Limiting Belief Examples”. Click on the attachment button above, pause the slide, and then print out the attachment. Do you find any more there that might fit for you? Click below when you are ready to proceed.
- #30 The first challenge is to catch yourself using a Limiting Belief. Once you recognize one, you need to find a way to say something else to yourself, to find an Empowering Belief to neutralize the Limiting Belief. And finally, Yes, you need to give up the benefits provided by the existing Limiting Belief. They wouldn’t continue to exist if they weren’t doing something for you...not necessarily something useful to your career, but something that seems useful after all of this time. You are getting something out of those Limiting Beliefs.
- #31 These are examples of what those habitual Limiting Belief statements may be doing for you. So in addition to cancelling that voice in your head, you must be prepared for the fact that you are giving up some subtle, probably unrecognized benefits by challenging your Limited Beliefs. Is it worth it? Only you can decide. Click below when you are ready to continue.
- #34 Habits, like limiting beliefs, sometimes persist because we don’t try to look at what we say from more than one perspective. If you can try to see the world from different points of view, you can sometimes free yourselves from your limited and limiting beliefs.
- #35 Insert the words on the left into the sentences on the right and finish the sentences. Do this exercise with Prices, Service, Sales Procedures, Sales Force, Management, and anything else that is part of your life and prone to your editorial comments. Learn to expand your thinking about key issues in your work life. Click below when you are ready to proceed.
- #36 Once you recognize a limiting belief, you are ready to reframe it.
- #37 Find a new belief that is the opposite from the old one yet realistic. It has to be a POSITIVE statement. It cannot be “I Don’t want to be nervous or “I won’t be nervous.”. That is NOT a positive statement. Say what you WILL DO and not what you WON’T DO.
- #39 Go to your list of your limiting beliefs and then write a new Belief, one that empowers you. It must be something you can really do and really believe, so you must truly confront that old voice in your head that has been with you for some time. Write an empowering Belief that will overcome the limits set by your inner voice. Give that voice new words. But they must be real and something you can really do and believe. Reframe the Limiting Belief with a new way of looking at things.and a new determination.
- #40 You are training your brain. It needs to hear you saying this new message daily. And reading is not enough. You must say each one aloud and hear your own voice, not just read the words on a page. You have probably heard about what psychologists call “self fulfilling prophesies”. They are expectations we have for others and sometimes ourselves, but they are not always specific, yet they have a powerful impact on our behavior and the behavior of others. Limiting Beliefs are MUCH stronger and more powerful. Therefore, you need to work a little harder to overcome them. You need to retrain your brain to hear your new message. That is why they must be read aloud.
- #41 Will you stop hearing the Limiting Beliefs. Probably not. You’ve made quite a habit of hearing those for a long time. They won’t go away that easily. Ask yourself: Whose voice is it? Who knows. Maybe a parent or a teacher. Maybe it is just your own, trying to tell you what to do based on old rules. If you CAN recognize the voice, that is even more fun. You know who you are arguing with and can maybe even see that person in your mind! But don’t worry. You can control the voice. It may never go away. But you can laugh at it, maybe comment, “Oh, YOU back again?” Then say “no”, and say the new belief aloud. You can take away its power. Every affirmation or statement of an empowering belief will strengthen your language/brain connection. It will change how the brain..that is to say, how YOU will perceive your world. You will discover you can make progress toward your goals faster and more effectively. Look at the rules for confronting your inner voice. When you are ready to move forward, click below.
- #42 If you are going to be successful, you have to be committed to what you are doing. Do you believe?
- #43 Zig Ziglar was quoted as once saying, “You can’t be convincing if you are not convinced.” And you can’t be ethical if you don’t believe you are selling the right product or service to the right customer for the right reasons. Are you committed? Look at this list and click below when you are ready.
- #44 Optimism is simply a fundamental belief that there is a solution to every problem. It is the opposite of a Limiting Belief. It is the ultimate Empowering Belief. Any problem can be solved.
- #45 Optimism also means that the problem is outside of you. It is not part of who you are. It is specific and exists, but it is not some dark cloud that is always over your head. A problem can be solved.
- #46 The problem is not me. It is not something that is WRONG with me. It is outside me, something that is happening in the environment. It is also limited..it is not something that will always happen or always be part of my life or keep recurring. It is not a black hole that sucks the life out of me. It is simply a problem, specific and limited. It will not ruin my day or week. And finally, the problem can be overcome. You may not know how..but there is no question that you are confident the problem can be solved. Those three elements are the basis for being an Optimistic person. They are also empowering beliefs.
- #47 So you are confronted with a new problem. If it can be solved, as the optimist says,then HOW? Approach it with different hats. Wear each hat individually and sequentially . First, put on the CREATIVE hat and brainstorm as many ideas for solving the problem as you can. Then put on the PRAGMATIC hat and think, “How can this idea work? How would we do this? What would it take to make this work?” Next, put on the CRITICAL hat and ask, “What is wrong with this idea? Why won’t it work? Why will it be a bad idea? “ BUT DON’T STOP YET. Continue the cycle. Put the CREATIVE hat back on and continue brainstorming without being critical or pragmatic. Based on your thinking so far, continue to be creative. Then change hats. Continue this cycle at least three times. You will open up new ideas and new solutions that you never imagined were possible. But you must change hats. Do not try to do two things at once. Allow yourself to be completely in the role of each “hat”.
- #48 You can help fine-tune your attitude with a daily maintenance check. At the end of every day, ask these questions: These questions can help you keep your attitude strong and positive.
- #49 Goals provide energy and focus, even if the focus is unconscious. By having a goal, you direct your mind, body, and energy in that direction. The brain will help. So have a goal, write it down, say it regularly, and help the brain do its job.
- #50 What is a good goal. Study this graphic, and you’ll see that things you have but don’t want become a source of distraction. Distractions do not serve you well. They are where the Limiting beliefs can be most often found. “This is what I believe, but I don’t want it to be true, but I keep it as a belief because it seems to serve me well, even if I don’t want to admit it!” When you can reframe them, they can become motivating goals and empowering beliefs. You can have Away-From Goals or Towards goals, if you remember Lesson 7 and the Mindsets, Towards goals are more positive in nature. Still, the top sellers who are motivated by fear are working with Away-From Goals. Choose what works for you. But know if it is good for you. And that decision is not an easy one. Look at this slide and then click below to hear about one way to have good goals.
- #51 Long before there was NLP, Napoleon Hill wrote a book called “Think and Grow Rich” that made a strong argument for the power of positive thinking. His approach is fully compatible with what we have learned today and is worth offering as a model. It served as a key part of what became known as Positive Mental Attitude with W. Clement Stone and guided generations of insurance professionals into successful careers. In this simple process, he has included the key components of what NLP calls a “well-formed outcome.” I have only added Step 3 to his original outline. Let’s look at the individual steps… Click below for more thoughts on this process.
- #52 Again, it is something you want, not something you want to stop doing. Stop smoking is not a goal. Being a non-smoker IS a goal, and even better. . Be specific. Instead of saying, I’d like to have a lot of money, be specific. “I will have $1million dollars by 2013”. That is a specific goal. Also, make sure it is under your control. Don’t waste time with a goal like “world peace” that you cannot control. Also, “having Fred’s job” may be out of your control, because Fred may decide to keep it. So be specific, but make sure you have control to make it happen.
- #53 This is simply Hill’s way of saying that nothing is free. What are you willing to give? How hard will you work? What effort will it take? What risks, capital, sacrifices? Nothing is free. Item 3 is not specifically Hill’s, but it is an extension of the idea of what do you have to give. It is the flip side: what are you willing to give up? ….and give up….to get what you want. Everything has a price. If you want $1million dollars by 2013, you may have to give up vacations between now and then. Or a new car. Or you may need to work every Saturday and therefore give up some family time. Think about it carefully. What are you willing to give and what will probably be demanded for you to meet your goal?
- #54 Every decision has consequences. The same holds true for goals. Whether you choose to pursue a goal or NOT pursue a goal, there are consequences. Answer these questions. This exercise helps you consider those consequences so you can be sure your goal is the right one for you. Click below when you are ready to move forward.
- #55 A goal without a date is a wish. Not having a date to meet your goal tells you that you are not really committed. Most people cannot have a target date more than a couple of years out at the most. Some can stretch themselves and have 5 year goals, but beyond that, it is just a concept in most cases. The shorter the time frame, the more likely you are to really meet your goal. Smaller steps are more realistic and quite motivating. There is a saying in business: “A five year plan is easy to write; a plan for the next quarter is tougher.” Yes, tougher, because it has to be realistic and specific. Discipline yourself with a target date that is not too far out into the future. You’ll be glad you did.
- #56 as you read your goal, it is important to feel as though you have already achieved it!!! How does it feel? What do you see? What are you saying to yourself and others? What are they saying to you? Ask these questions of yourself EVERY DAY, TWICE each day. Your brain will learn and will begin serving you in new ways toward achieving your goal.
- #57 Read these checks on your goal. You must make sure your goals are consistent with who you are, your values, your environment, and your abilities. Click below when you are ready to proceed.
- #58 Optimism and commitment to excellence are unbeatable. If you truly believe that any problem can be solved with hard work and also that you can do anything someone else can do, you will succeed. Keep looking for excellence and then model it. Be the best in the world at what you do, as Jim Collins writes in Good to Great. Never settle. Be the best at what you do and you can become the model for excellence.
- #59 Malcolm Glidewell in his book,Tipping Point ,tells us that mastery in any field takes 10,000 hours of practice. So…it looks like now is a good time to get started, right?
- #60 Look at it like this: Fear is just nature’s way of saying “Get ready to rumble”. Make it an energizer, not a limiting belief. Be like the top sellers in every industry. Use the fear, don’t run from it.
- #65 Poorly…how else will you ever learn?10,000 hour rule: takes 10,000 hours of practice to be an expert at anything. Might as well start today!
- #68 This is why the TOP sellers are the first ones to try the kinds of skills and techniques you have seen today and in the other lessons. Top sellers can tell when something isn’t working, and they want to win. So they’ll try anything until something works. I had a guy call me once..he had just sold $50,000 worth of product to a new customer, without any hassle over price. He told me that things were nearly stalled for a variety of reasons, and he said to himself, “Oh, I guess I’ll try one of those things from the workshop and see what happens.” And so it goes. The person with the most flexibility wins. IF you have the courage to notice when you need to try something else. Remember insanity is defined as doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Notice, and be flexible. Have choices, and you’ll have The Unfair Advantage.