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Feedback – Greco-Persian
Wars Essay
Good work – Congratulations!
BRING YOUR PLANNING SHEETS
Clear Meaning
• Spelling
• Capitalisation
• Apostrophes
• Contractions
Word Choice
• Amazing plan
– clever
– strategic
– effective
– tactical
– inspired
– robust
Amazing elephant hedge
Amount or Number
Decimate
• Punishment in the Roman Army
– One soldier out of every ten was selected by lot
and then beaten to death by the other nine
• NOT a general word for defeat
WE ALL NEED TO LEARN FROM THIS
• Be organised – know dates
• Be ready – bring what is needed to class
• Be prepared – do required
work/revision by the due dates
• Follow instructions
• Ask for help – well before the
due date
Topic Sentences
• Example – Battle of Salamis – para on
importance of Geography
• Geography was an important factor in the
Battle of Salamis.
OR
• Geography was used by the Greeks to
maximum advantage at Salamis.
Practice Topic Sentences
• Write/Read/Swap/Re-write
• Watch out for good topic sentences in your
general reading
• Note them down
Organising your evidence
• Step 3 on planning sheet
• Dot points are fine
• Keep carrying references forward
Referencing
• In-text referencing used in essays
• Format is (Author, date of publication, page)
• Purpose is know where
information came from
and to give credit to
author
Room for Improvement
• Short sentences for clear meaning
• No “I” “we” “our” (first person)
statements in formal history essays
• Capital letters on proper
nouns/adjectives – Greek, Persian,
Australian
• Practice using correct capitalisation –
always!
Room for Improvement (contd.)
• Xerxes  Xerxes’ army, troops, ships, victory
• Jesus  Jesus’ miracles
• James  James’ good work
• Too = as well
• Handwriting
Spelling
• Spelling helps your meaning be to be
clear
• Use the space provided to record the
correct spelling of tricky words
–Bias, biased
–General
–Historians, history
–Opponent
–Enemies

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Feedback – year 7 persian wars essay

  • 2. Good work – Congratulations!
  • 4.
  • 5. Clear Meaning • Spelling • Capitalisation • Apostrophes • Contractions
  • 6. Word Choice • Amazing plan – clever – strategic – effective – tactical – inspired – robust Amazing elephant hedge
  • 8. Decimate • Punishment in the Roman Army – One soldier out of every ten was selected by lot and then beaten to death by the other nine • NOT a general word for defeat
  • 9. WE ALL NEED TO LEARN FROM THIS • Be organised – know dates • Be ready – bring what is needed to class • Be prepared – do required work/revision by the due dates • Follow instructions • Ask for help – well before the due date
  • 10. Topic Sentences • Example – Battle of Salamis – para on importance of Geography • Geography was an important factor in the Battle of Salamis. OR • Geography was used by the Greeks to maximum advantage at Salamis.
  • 11. Practice Topic Sentences • Write/Read/Swap/Re-write • Watch out for good topic sentences in your general reading • Note them down
  • 12. Organising your evidence • Step 3 on planning sheet • Dot points are fine • Keep carrying references forward
  • 13. Referencing • In-text referencing used in essays • Format is (Author, date of publication, page) • Purpose is know where information came from and to give credit to author
  • 14. Room for Improvement • Short sentences for clear meaning • No “I” “we” “our” (first person) statements in formal history essays • Capital letters on proper nouns/adjectives – Greek, Persian, Australian • Practice using correct capitalisation – always!
  • 15. Room for Improvement (contd.) • Xerxes  Xerxes’ army, troops, ships, victory • Jesus  Jesus’ miracles • James  James’ good work • Too = as well • Handwriting
  • 16. Spelling • Spelling helps your meaning be to be clear • Use the space provided to record the correct spelling of tricky words –Bias, biased –General –Historians, history –Opponent –Enemies