This document discusses consent, sexual assault, and safety. It notes that over 200 colleges are under federal investigation for possible Title IX violations related to sexual assault. Studies find that between 1 in 5 to 1 in 4 college women experience sexual assault. The document discusses controversies around campus adjudication of sexual assault claims and the impact of sexual assault, including trauma. It examines issues like consent, hookup culture, pornography, and substance use among teenagers and their impact on relationships and sexuality. The need for comprehensive sex education for students is discussed, as well as developing policies and programs to promote reporting of assault and a safe learning environment.

1. Consent, Sexual
Assault and Safety
NYSAIS College Counselor Conference
Shafia Zaloom
May 16, 2017

2. Everyone has a different level of comfort and
everyone has a different experience of
sexuality, some of it great, some of it not-so-
great, some of it terrible. Everyone, please
be respectful of that and practice self-care.
Also, not everyone is sexually active. Some
are, some are not. All perspectives and
levels of experience are valued.

3. What is consent?
 To give assent, as to the proposal of another; agree
 To be of the same mind or opinion
 Acceptance or approval of what is planned or done by
another; acquiescence
 Agreement as to opinion or course of action

4. Boxing?
Assault?

5. Borrowing?
Stealing?

7. What it’s really about…
 Educating others on how to treat you and listening for
how others want to be treated.
 Authentic Connection
 Assertiveness and communicating boundaries.
 “People get to chose how they touch and get
touched…People’s bodies belong to them.” (Emily
Nagoski)

8. Teaching positive sexuality in a
sex negative culture…
 Think of a bear…
 Sex Positive: A healthy orientation to one’s sexuality as
something positive, potentially enriching, and joyful.
One that is empowering and leads to healthy and
meaningful relationships.
 Sex Negative: Over sexualization of people, especially
young people, objectification, sex stigma, and body
shaming.

9. What’s the problem?
 233 colleges and universities under federal
investigation for 300 possible Title IX violations.
(Department of Education OCR, 2017)
 Kaiser Family Foundation and Washington Post Survey
2015 (1:5; 1:20)
 American Association of Colleges and Universities
Study 2016 (1:4)

10. What’s the Controversy?
• Rape Campus Frenzy (Johnson and Taylor): Biased adjudication, wrongful
accusation, violation of constitutional right to due process. Use
the criminal justice system.
• Unwanted Advances (Laura Kipnis): Female students suffering from “a
crisis of agency,” focus on vulnerability vs empowerment.
• Without law enforcement involvement schools have too much
power and may deprive students of due process protections
• Title IX is needed because criminal rape law falls short.
Prosecutors’ wide discretion empowers them to shortchange
victims’ interest for their own priorities. Schools cannot compel
criminal system officials to act. Prosecutions rarely obtain
convictions. (Nancy Cantalupo)

11. What’s are the consequences?
 Sexual Assault: loss of focus, trauma, self-destructive
behavior (PTSD, depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation,
cutting, eating disorders)
 Controversy re: assault and school college/university
adjudication
 Suspension, expulsion

12. Forced Sexual Intercourse, by Gender
4.8
11.1
31.7
0
5
10
15
20
25
30
35
Male Female Transgender
Figure 2: Forced Sexual Intercourse, by Gender
Independent School Health Check

13. Our Student’s Peers
Public Schools: The U.S. Dept. of Education and the
Office of Civil Rights has 130 pending investigations at K-
12 districts following complaints of sexual violence.
(U.S. Department of Education 2017)
Press release. AP tallied 17,000 cases in U.S. K-12
school districts in the last four years. Data doesn’t reveal
full extent of the problem. Inconsistencies as it varies
state to state. Minimized as “hazing” or “bullying.”
(Associated Press 2017)

14. Teen Brain

15. Adult Brain

16. What does this mean for us?
This is a MISSION driven conversation
 A great mix of schools
 Whose school mission includes any of the following
language?
 Integrity
 Respect
 Community
 Responsibility
 Citizenship
 Character
 Ethics

17. Questions to ask ourselves
 Do we believe in the education of the whole child?
 Do we believe in supporting the healthy relationships
and well being of all students?
 What are our responsibilities to ensure an equitable
and safe learning experience for all children?
 How are we preparing our students to
be successful in college and ultimately
citizens who care about others?

18. What’s the impact on our school
communities?
 Social Dynamics  Academic Environments
 Example to illustrate: Saturday night  Monday
morning math
 Hostile Environments
 Victims and Survivors: The inequity

19. What are we up against?
Sexpectations
 Stereotypical gender roles of what it means to be a
boy/man or girl/woman.
 The pornification of our culture.
 Pervasive porn and sexual identity formation.
 Building relationships with digital devices.
 Instagram and Snapchat. Curating the billboard of your
life.

20.  The porn industry is bigger than the NFL, NBA, and
MLB combined. (All Pro, Dad, 2015)
 It represents a $97 billion business worldwide and a
$13 billion industry in the United States.(Enough is Enough, 2016).
 30% of all the data transferred across the Internet is
porn. Internet porn sites get more visitors each month
than Netflix, Amazon, and Twitter combined. (The Huffington Post,
2013)
How prevalent is porn?

21. Common effects of alcohol on teenagers
specific to sexual behavior
 Impairs judgment
 Inhibits ability to set boundaries and express desires
 Weakens determination to use condoms
 Diminishes ability to resist
 Justifies aggressive behavior

22. FAQs: Consent Curious
 Can you have consensual sex with someone without feelings?
 What if both people are drunk? Who is assaulting who?
 If I hookup with someone and then they decide they regret it in the
morning, can I get in trouble?
 How do I know if they really mean it when they say “yes”?
 What do I do about a friend who was assaulted and won’t get
help?
 What if I tell someone and they want revenge?
 What if no one believes me?

23. Instructions
 Groups of 8
 Take a minute to read through your group’s assigned
scenarios
 Discussion: Guidelines
 Deconstruct the social dynamic of the situation.
 Discuss how these dynamics play out in the academic
environment and impact learning.
 Discuss which are consensual, which are not.
 Identify what information and skills these young people
would need to make sound decisions.

24. Questions for your groups
Scenario deconstruction and reflection
 What are the social power dynamics?
 What are the risks and benefits for the teenager(s) in
the situation?
 What decisions need to be made?
 What might get in the way of doing “right?”
 How might the experience impact academics and
school life?

25. Looking forward…
action steps
 Now that you have an awareness, what can you do?
 Who do you need in the room?
 Health professionals at your school (teachers, nurses,
counselors)
 Administration
 Dean of Academics (Schedule)
 Dean of Student Life/Students
 Dean of Diversity/Equity/Inclusion
 Class Deans, Advisors and/or Dorm Heads

26. Solutions: Policy and Program
 Age appropriate comprehensive sex education program
 SEL: values and self-awareness
 What are you already doing?
 Define your gap
 Backward design
 Policies AND program: The Spirit of Title IX
 Legal best practices
 Ethical best practices

27. Program: If you had 3 hours…
Essential elements for your Seniors
 Language: Consent, Sexual Consent, Title IX, Sexual Assault, Rape, Trauma,
Victim, Survivor, Perpetrator, Adjudication
 Teen and twenty-something brains and practice. Brain vulnerability to toxicity.
Reclaim relationships: real time joy, healthy vulnerability and courage.
 What social media has to do with it. Consent and sexting, nudes and dick
pics, harassment and stalking.
 Sexual Consent: What it is. What it isn’t. Legal responsibilities. When and how
it must be given. How to manage what’s going on. Practice applying
information to real life. Strategies for prevention, bystander intervention and
safety.
 Resources: Student Health Services, Title IX Coordinator and Office, Campus
Security, Websites and hot lines: Scarleteen, Go Ask Alice, Sexetc., RAINN,
Futures Without Violence, FIRE

28. Policies: Assault Reporting
 Policies: Sexual Assault (bullying, harassment), Social
Media
 Get clear on your values and let that guide your process.
 Know your state specific and federal requirements.
 Trauma informed investigation best practices.
 Build muscle memory: talk through the possibilities
 What’s your overriding principle? (teachers must know)
 What do you need? Are your questions?
 Who are your best resources?

29. When you get back to school…
 Bring people together: WHO?
 Share what you’ve learned: WHAT?
 Schedule a workshop: WHEN AND WHERE?
 Inform and educate: HOW TO STAY SAFE? WHAT
ARE THE BENEFITS? WHAT ARE THE
CONSEQUENCES?
 Follow through: WHAT NEXT?

30. Resources
 http://kff.org/other/poll-finding/survey-of-current-and-recent-
college-students-on-sexual-assault/
 https://www.aau.edu/Climate-Survey.aspx?id=16525
 http://www.sfchronicle.com/crime/article/Wild-parties-an-
alleged-rape-and-a-high-10906945.php
 https://www.nytimes.com/2017/02/15/opinion/fighting-
college-sexual-assault-in-the-trump-era.html
 https://www.justice.gov/crt
 http://www.pbs.org/newshour/bb/student-student-sexual-
assault-common-thought/