This is one of several modules developed by trainer on child protection in Pakistan's context. This module specifically addresses Child Discipline, Effective Parenting & Positive Parenting in Pakistan.

1. Disciplining the Child
Developed By
Saleem Bokhari (Health Education Officer)
Socio.optic@gmail.com
MODULE 2
For Alternate Child Care Staff

2. Problems

3. Discipline & Abuse
• What is the difference in Discipline &
Abuse
• What triggers violence ?
• Emotion only lasts in our body about 90
seconds. After that, the physical reaction
dissipates, UNLESS our cognitive brains
kicks in & start connecting our anger with
past events.

4. Discipline & Abuse
• Responses of mother regarding violence
as discipline…anger, beating…does that
work….no….is that harmful for health…
yes…then why its used…. Silence

5. Discipline & Abuse
• Every Child in the institution has a story
that leads to misbehavior or defiance.
Nine times out of 10, the story behind the
misbehavior won’t make you angry. It will
break your heart.
– Annette Breaux

6. Parenting Typology/Theories
• Parenting Typology (Baumrind, Maccoby,Martin)
– Authoritative parenting (Responsive & Demanding)
– rational and are willing to listen,
– encourage independence while establishing clear expectations,
– limits and consequences on actions and behavior. children
– children are- happier, have control over their emotions, socialize well with their
peers, and are confident in their skills and abilities.
– Authoritarian parenting (demanding but not responsive.
– Expect much of their child, but generally do not explain the reasoning for the rules or
boundaries.
– want to do instead of allowing the child to choose by him or herself.
– Children have lower self-esteem than their peers. less social competence.
– Some children of authoritarian parents may develop insecurities and display anti-social
behavior.

7. Parenting Typology/Theories
– Indulgent parenting (responsive but not demanding)
– little or no discipline at all to avoid confrontation.
– Bribery using toys and gifts is a common way for permissive parents to encourage their children to
behave.
– These children tend to lack self-discipline,
– are quite demanding in all areas of life,
– have difficulty sharing and may exhibit insecure behavior due to the absence of distinct boundaries.
– Neglectful parenting (neither demanding nor responsive, detached,)
– May provide the basic needs meaning: food, housing, and toiletries or money
– Their children have to learn to provide for themselves,
– are afraid to depend on others for anything,
– are emotionally withdrawn from others,
– have excessive amounts of anxiety, fear and stress.
– common for children of uninvolved parents to have problems with substance abuse.

8. Parenting Theories
• Social Learning Theory (Albert Bandura)
– What children observe they imitate
• Behavior Modification Theory (B.F.Skinner)
– Reinforce
– Forbid

9. Various Difficult Behaviors & their Solution
• Making Noise
• Aggression, Quarrelling
• Abusive Behavior
• Cleanliness
• Braking / Damaging things
• Stealing & theft
• Sexual Behavior

10. Various Difficult Behaviors & their Solution
• Catch them doing good
• Appreciate the positives rather than punishing negative
behavior
• Don’t react with aggression
• Passive, Aggressive & Assertive types of communication
styles
• Be assertive while giving instruction

11. While Parenting….Discipline
Caution…! Child will not disclose when gap of trust & communication,
abuse cycle will continue until identified & handled..
Ask….listen…..trust……understand…...act….protect
• There is no short cut in disciplining the child….it takes patience and time
• Abuse mostly occur at the time of anger…..Let anger vanish before
interacting with child
• There is difference in abuse and discipline
• What are thin boundaries?
• How to get child disciplined ?
• Cost of short cuts & violent discipline on personality of child
– Parenting shortcuts…! Child will obey…but will loose capacity to choose
– Lifetime damage to personality of child
– Communication gap with parents, No sharing
• Appropriate ways to Discipline
• Discipline means to teach, impart knowledge & skill….aim is behavioral change rather than

12. While Parenting
• While sending school, somewhere or with someone child becomes too
much frightened, complains pain in any body part…….ask softly, listen &
understand what child says…might being abused…..
• Becomes frightened when seeing or finding a specific adult, relative,
neighbor, family friend, an elder child or anyone… inquire softly, listen &
understand…..
• Child insists you to not leave him / her alone…listen…trust…resolve
• Sudden change in patterns of living, sleeping, eating, interacting,
speaking, mood
• Neglect can cause failure to thrive
• Stop emotional Neglect, it hinders the brain development, make strongStop emotional Neglect, it hinders the brain development, make strong
bond of understanding, trust & communication with your childbond of understanding, trust & communication with your child
• Research shows that, even if a child is not abused, witnessing
violence is much like being an actual victim.

13. References
• Child Care Standards Child Protection & Welfare Bureau, Punjab, Pakistan
• Handbook for implementation of Convention on the Rights of Child, UNICEF
• Child Care Center Disaster Response Handbook
• Snohomish County Emergency Management, 720, 80th
street SW, Bldg A, Everett, WA 98203, 425-388-5060
• A handbook on counseling for training, and skill development of staff of Child Care Institutions (CCIs), New Delhi, India
• Policy Brief: INSTITUTIONAL CARE: THE LAST RESORT, Save the Children
• Institutionalization of children in Kenya: A child rights Perspective, Stephen Ucembe.
• Out of sight, out of mid. Report on Voluntary Residential Institutions for Children in Sri Lanka. Statistical Analysis
• PARK SLOPE FOOD COOP CHILDCARE TRAINING MANUAL 2004
• Quality4children Standards for out of home child care in Europe, International Foster Care Organization
• Children in Institutions, International Development Cooperation, Ministry for Foreign Affairs, Sweden
• Complaints Reported to the Child Protection Authority of Sri Lanka, 2016
• The Risk of Harm to Young Children in Institutional Care, Kevin Browne, Professor of Forensic Psychology & Child Health, Institute of
Work, Health & Organizations, University of Nottingham, UK
• Children in Institutions: The Beginning of the End, Innocenti Research Centre, UNICEF
• Child Protection & Orphanages, UNICEF
• Standards of Care in Child Care Institutions, UDAYAN Care, UNICEF
• Training Manual for Charitable Children’s Institutions in Kenya, UNICEF