Checklist for Global Revision1 Purpose and Audience • Does the plan accomplish its purpose – to analyze a reading, develop a claim, and support that claim with evidence from the selected reading? • Is the plan appropriate for its audience? Does it account for the audience’s knowledge of the subject, level of interest in the subject, and possible attitudes toward the subject? Focus • Is your claim clear? Do you show how you derived the claim from your selected reading? • Do you identify the key points you'll use to support your claim? Have you explained the rationale for choosing each point? Organization and Paragraphing • Are there enough organizational cues for readers, like topic sentences? • Are ideas presented in a logical order? • Are any paragraphs too long or too short for easy reading? Content • Is the evidence I've chosen relevant and persuasive? • Which ideas need further development? • Are the parts proportioned sensibly? Do major ideas receive enough attention? • Where might material be deleted? Point of View • Is the draft free of distracting shifts in point of view (from I to you, for example, or from it to they)? • Is the dominant point of view – I, we, you, he, she, it, one, or they – appropriate for your purpose and audience? *** “When you revise sentences, you focus on effectiveness; when you edit, you check for correctness. Proofreading is a slow and careful reading in search of typos and other obvious mistakes” (Hacker 29). 1 Hacker, Diana. Rules for Writers 6th Ed. Boston: Bedford/St. Martin’s, 2008. Paragraph Level Revision “A paragraph should be unified around a main point. The main point should be clear to readers, and all sentences in the paragraph should relate to it” (Hacker 40). • State the main point in a topic sentence – the topic sentence should act as a signpost pointing in two directions: backward toward the thesis of the essay and forward toward the body of the paragraph. • Stick to the point – if a sentence does not support the topic sentence it destroys the unity of the paragraph • Develop the main point – a series of brief paragraphs suggests inadequate development • Make paragraphs coherent – sentences and paragraphs should flow from one to another without discernible bumps, gaps, or shifts. Coherence can be improved by strengthening the ties between old information and new. o Link ideas clearly o Repeat key words o Use parallel structures o Maintain consistency o Provide transitions • If necessary, adjust paragraph length – aim for paragraphs between 100-200 words Sentence Level Revision In order to revise sentences without “reading over” the passages you’ve become familiar with, try starting with the last sentence in your essay and read each sentence from end to beginning, checking each sentence for clarity, effectiveness, and c ...

1. Checklist for Global Revision1
Purpose and Audience
• Does the plan accomplish its purpose – to analyze a reading,
develop a claim, and
support that claim with evidence from the selected reading?
• Is the plan appropriate for its audience? Does it account for
the audience’s
knowledge of the subject, level of interest in the subject, and
possible attitudes
toward the subject?
Focus
• Is your claim clear? Do you show how you derived the claim
from your selected
reading?
• Do you identify the key points you'll use to support your
claim? Have you
explained the rationale for choosing each point?
Organization and Paragraphing
• Are there enough organizational cues for readers, like topic

2. sentences?
• Are ideas presented in a logical order?
• Are any paragraphs too long or too short for easy reading?
Content
• Is the evidence I've chosen relevant and persuasive?
• Which ideas need further development?
• Are the parts proportioned sensibly? Do major ideas receive
enough attention?
• Where might material be deleted?
Point of View
• Is the draft free of distracting shifts in point of view (from I to
you, for example,
or from it to they)?
• Is the dominant point of view – I, we, you, he, she, it, one, or
they – appropriate
for your purpose and audience?
***
“When you revise sentences, you focus on effectiveness; when
you edit, you check for
correctness. Proofreading is a slow and careful reading in
search of typos and other
obvious mistakes” (Hacker 29).

3. 1 Hacker, Diana. Rules for Writers 6th Ed. Boston: Bedford/St.
Martin’s, 2008.
Paragraph Level Revision
“A paragraph should be unified around a main point. The main
point should be clear to
readers, and all sentences in the paragraph should relate to it”
(Hacker 40).
• State the main point in a topic sentence – the topic sentence
should act as a
signpost pointing in two directions: backward toward the thesis
of the essay and
forward toward the body of the paragraph.
• Stick to the point – if a sentence does not support the topic
sentence it destroys the
unity of the paragraph
• Develop the main point – a series of brief paragraphs suggests
inadequate
development
• Make paragraphs coherent – sentences and paragraphs should
flow from one to
another without discernible bumps, gaps, or shifts. Coherence
can be improved by
strengthening the ties between old information and new.

4. o Link ideas clearly
o Repeat key words
o Use parallel structures
o Maintain consistency
o Provide transitions
• If necessary, adjust paragraph length – aim for paragraphs
between 100-200
words
Sentence Level Revision
In order to revise sentences without “reading over” the passages
you’ve become familiar
with, try starting with the last sentence in your essay and read
each sentence from end to
beginning, checking each sentence for clarity, effectiveness,
and correctness.
Clarity
• Is the point of this sentence clear?
• Will a reader be able to understand what I’m trying to say?
Effectiveness
• Does this sentence further the point of my topic sentence?
• Does it further the point of my thesis?
• Does it help persuade or inform my audience?
Correctness

5. • Does the sentence contain any mechanical or grammatical
errors?
• Is everything spelled correctly?
***
Take your essay to the writing center for additional help. A new
pair of eyes will not only
be able to find things you passed over, they will also be able to
tell you whether the point
you set out to make in your thesis was proved by the end of the
essay.
Rubric Name: ENG 122 Assignment 1, Milestone 1 Rubric
Criteria
Proficient
Needs Improvement
Not Evident
Score and Feedback
Author’s Claim
10.67 points
Determines a claim to be addressed in the analysis essay, and
claim is derived from one of the provided articles
5.8685 points
Determines a claim to be addressed in the analysis essay, but
claim is not derived from one of the provided articles
0 points
Does not determine a claim to be addressed in the analysis essay

6. 10.67 points
Good work establishing a claim that you plan to address in your
Critical Analysis Essay on the article by Amy Tan. I'm looking
forward to seeing the ways you explore and illustrate this claim
as your project continues to develop!
From here, start working on ways to include the author and/or
title to help show how your claim derives from one of the
provided articles. For example:
In TITLE, NAME’s goal is to _______
Let me know what you think or what other ideas you come up
with to show readers more clearly how this claim relates
directly your chosen reading!
Author’s Key Points
10.66 points
Determines key points and rationale that will be helpful in
supporting the validity of the claim
5.863 points
Determines key points and rationale, but key points or rationale
are cursory or inaccurate
0 points
Does not determine key points and rationale that will be helpful
in supporting the validity of the claim
5.863 points
You are discovering some helpful key points to help support
your claim and show readers how valid that claim is. From here,
I would like to see you develop your rationale for choosing
these points a bit more. For example, try coming up with a one-
sentence connection between each of these key points and your
particular claim.
Audience

7. 10.67 points
Identifies audience and determines potential challenges
5.8685 points
Identifies audience but does not determine potential challenges
0 points
Does not identify audience
0 points
You have not yet identified an audience for your Critical
Analysis Essay. Who do you think might be interested in
reading your work? Who might benefit from it?
Your Goal
10.66 points
Establishes a goal to be accomplished with the essay
5.863 points
Establishes a goal for the essay, but goal is not aligned with the
essay claim
0 points
Does not establish a goal
0 points
You have not yet established a goal that you want to accomplish
in your Critical Analysis Essay. Determining your purpose in
writing, and aligning that with your central claim will help to
keep your essay focused and on-point. What goal might you set
for this project? What do you want readers to take away from

8. reading your analysis?
Evidence
32 points
Determines potential places where evidence would be most
effective and defends choices
17.6 points
Determines places where evidence would be most effective but
does not defend choices or defense is illogical
0 points
Does not determine places where evidence would be most
effective
0 points
You have not yet identified potential places in your essay where
evidence would be effective. Now that you have this Writing
Plan on paper, try going back through your work and consider
where evidence like quotes, paraphrases, and summaries from
the reading might help you to make your point.
Revision Strategy
10.67 points
Identifies a revision strategy that would be effective and
describes why it would be effective
5.8685 points
Identifies a revision strategy, but does not describe why the
strategy would be effective or strategy is illogical
0 points

9. Does not identify a revision strategy
0 points
You have not yet identified a revision strategy that might be
effective for your Critical Analysis Essay. Revision is my
favorite part of the writing process, and I love brainstorming
ways to make our writing stronger. Let's chat about some things
you might do as you continue to develop and refine this project.
Feedback
10.67 points
Describes how essay can benefit from receiving feedback and
how that feedback can be integrated
5.8685 points
Describes how essay can benefit from receiving feedback, but
does not describe how the feedback can be integrated or
description is cursory or contains inaccuracies
0 points
Does not describe how essay can benefit from feedback
0 points
You have not yet described the way(s) an essay can benefit from
feedback. Integrating feedback is really valuable part of the
writing process, and I encourage you to return to section 3-1 in
the reading and look again at that section, Be Open to Revision,
to help think about how feedback from your instructor and peers
can improve the quality of your product.
Articulation of Response
4 points
Submission has no major errors related to grammar, spelling,

10. syntax, or organization
2.2 points
Submission has major errors related to grammar, spelling,
syntax, or organization that negatively impact readability and
articulation of main ideas
0 points
Submission has critical errors related to grammar, spelling,
syntax, or organization that prevent understanding of ideas
2.2 points
You are doing good editing and proofreading work here, and I
would like to see you formatting your work into you a formal
essay, complete with your identifying information, double-
spacing, and indented paragraphs. Be sure to check out the
Formatting & Submitting Assignments post in our General
Questions board to see examples of how to format your work
before submitting it.
Overall Score
Proficient
56 or more
Needs Improvement
1 or more
Not Evident
0 or more
Score and Feedback
Overall Score
Instructors should not modify this row (it will automate from
the scores above). This score represents the average evaluation
across all rubric criteria.
Instructors should not modify this row (it will automate from
the scores above). This score represents the average evaluation

11. across all rubric criteria.
Instructors should not modify this row (it will automate from
the scores above). This score represents the average evaluation
across all rubric criteria.
18.733 points
Hi Brittney,
Thank you for writing the first draft of your Writing Plan for
the critical analysis essay! I enjoyed seeing the additional
thought and consideration you've put into this project since your
initial Writing Notes in Week 1, and I'm looking forward to
seeing the blueprint you've laid out here realized in the first
draft of that analytical essay next week!
Before then, you’ll have the opportunity to revise this essay and
submit a Final Draft of your Writing Plan at the start of Module
5. Going forward, I think the most important thing to focus your
revision on are the elements that you did not include in this
essay. For example, I did not see anything here about your
Goal, Revision Strategy, Feedback Integration, or Evidence. In
addition, be sure to include your rationale for each of your key
points and format this essay using either MLA or APA Style.
To help you with your first revision, I have attached a Checklist
for Global Revision. I based the handout on a great writer’s
handbook, Rules for Writers, and I have adapted it to fit our
Writing Plan assignment for this course. I hope it will give you
helpful strategies for moving through your global, paragraph-
level, and sentence-level revisions, and please let me know how
else I can help you finalize your writing plan.
Please let me know if you have any questions about the
feedback I've provided here. I want to help you continue
developing your project so that you have a strong Critical
Analysis Essay ready to submit at the end of the term!
Cheers,
Melinda

12. Checklist for Global Revision1
Purpose and Audience
• Does the plan accomplish its purpose – to analyze a reading,
develop a claim, and
support that claim with evidence from the selected reading?
• Is the plan appropriate for its audience? Does it account for
the audience’s
knowledge of the subject, level of interest in the subject, and
possible attitudes
toward the subject?
Focus
• Is your claim clear? Do you show how you derived the claim
from your selected
reading?
• Do you identify the key points you'll use to support your
claim? Have you
explained the rationale for choosing each point?
Organization and Paragraphing
• Are there enough organizational cues for readers, like topic
sentences?

13. • Are ideas presented in a logical order?
• Are any paragraphs too long or too short for easy reading?
Content
• Is the evidence I've chosen relevant and persuasive?
• Which ideas need further development?
• Are the parts proportioned sensibly? Do major ideas receive
enough attention?
• Where might material be deleted?
Point of View
• Is the draft free of distracting shifts in point of view (from I to
you, for example,
or from it to they)?
• Is the dominant point of view – I, we, you, he, she, it, one, or
they – appropriate
for your purpose and audience?
***
“When you revise sentences, you focus on effectiveness; when
you edit, you check for
correctness. Proofreading is a slow and careful reading in
search of typos and other
obvious mistakes” (Hacker 29).

14. 1 Hacker, Diana. Rules for Writers 6th Ed. Boston: Bedford/St.
Martin’s, 2008.
Paragraph Level Revision
“A paragraph should be unified around a main point. The main
point should be clear to
readers, and all sentences in the paragraph should relate to it”
(Hacker 40).
• State the main point in a topic sentence – the topic sentence
should act as a
signpost pointing in two directions: backward toward the thesis
of the essay and
forward toward the body of the paragraph.
• Stick to the point – if a sentence does not support the topic
sentence it destroys the
unity of the paragraph
• Develop the main point – a series of brief paragraphs suggests
inadequate
development
• Make paragraphs coherent – sentences and paragraphs should
flow from one to
another without discernible bumps, gaps, or shifts. Coherence
can be improved by
strengthening the ties between old information and new.
o Link ideas clearly

15. o Repeat key words
o Use parallel structures
o Maintain consistency
o Provide transitions
• If necessary, adjust paragraph length – aim for paragraphs
between 100-200
words
Sentence Level Revision
In order to revise sentences without “reading over” the passages
you’ve become familiar
with, try starting with the last sentence in your essay and read
each sentence from end to
beginning, checking each sentence for clarity, effectiveness,
and correctness.
Clarity
• Is the point of this sentence clear?
• Will a reader be able to understand what I’m trying to say?
Effectiveness
• Does this sentence further the point of my topic sentence?
• Does it further the point of my thesis?
• Does it help persuade or inform my audience?
Correctness
• Does the sentence contain any mechanical or grammatical

16. errors?
• Is everything spelled correctly?
***
Take your essay to the writing center for additional help. A new
pair of eyes will not only
be able to find things you passed over, they will also be able to
tell you whether the point
you set out to make in your thesis was proved by the end of the
essay.