This document discusses the importance of building relationships between teachers and students to support learning. It notes that learning is both mental and emotional, and that virtually all learning starts with a significant relationship. It emphasizes the need for mutual respect between teachers and students, and identifies three key aspects of respectful relationships: support, insistence on high expectations, and motivation/persistence. The document provides strategies for teachers to build relationships, such as learning about students, engaging behaviors that show care, personalizing learning, and using humor appropriately. Building positive relationships through trust, respect, and getting to know students is presented as key to creating a supportive school environment and climate for learning.

1. Building Relationships
Danielle Frei - Comal ISD
Math Curriculum Specialist

2. Personality Test
TEST
Scores
Explanations

3. Module 7: Relationships
Explain the importance
of relationships to
students and identify
means to create
relationships with
students.
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4. All learning is double-coded, both
mentally and emotionally. How you
feel about something is part of the
learning and your openness to
learning. Most learning is in essence
emotional. Virtually all learning starts
with a significant relationship.
–Stanley Greenspan and Beryl Benderly
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5. Mutual Respect
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6. Mutual Respect
If a student and teacher do not have a relationship
of mutual respect, the learning will be
significantly reduced. For some students it
won’t occur at all.
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7. Mutual Respect
If a student and teacher do not have a relationship
of mutual respect, the learning will be
significantly reduced. For some students it
won’t occur at all.
If a student and a teacher don’t like each other—
or even come to despise each other—forget about
significant learning.
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8. Mutual Respect
If a student and teacher do not have a relationship
of mutual respect, the learning will be
significantly reduced. For some students it
won’t occur at all.
If a student and a teacher don’t like each other—
or even come to despise each other—forget about
significant learning.
If mutual respect is present, it can compensate for
the dislike.
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9. Mutual Respect
If a student and teacher do not have a relationship
of mutual respect, the learning will be
significantly reduced. For some students it
won’t occur at all.
If a student and a teacher don’t like each other—
or even come to despise each other—forget about
significant learning.
If mutual respect is present, it can compensate for
the dislike.
Mutual respect is as much about nonverbals as it
is about what you say.
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10. Mutual Respect
Relationships of mutual respect
must have three things present:
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11. Mutual Respect
Relationships of mutual respect
must have three things present:
 Support: the direct teaching of process and
mental models.
4

12. Mutual Respect
Relationships of mutual respect
must have three things present:
 Support: the direct teaching of process and
mental models.
 Insistence: the motivation and persistence
that comes from the relationship.
4

13. Mutual Respect
Relationships of mutual respect
must have three things present:
 Support: the direct teaching of process and
mental models.
 Insistence: the motivation and persistence
that comes from the relationship.
 High Expectations: the approach of,
4

14. Mutual Respect
Relationships of mutual respect
must have three things present:
 Support: the direct teaching of process and
mental models.
 Insistence: the motivation and persistence
that comes from the relationship.
 High Expectations: the approach of,
“I know you can do it, and you will.”
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15. "No significant
learning occurs
without a
significant
relationship."
–Dr. James Comer
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16. What can a teacher do to
build relationships?
“TESA (Teacher Expectations and Student Achievement)” identified 15
behaviors that teachers use with good students.
The research study found that when teachers used these interactions with
low-achieving students, they made significant gains in achievement.
1. Calls on everyone in room equitably.
2. Provides individual help.
3. Gives “wait” time (allows student enough time to answer).
4. Asks questions to give student clues about answer.
5. Asks questions that require more thought.
6. Tells students whether their answers are right or wrong.
7. Gives specific praise.
8. Gives reasons for praise.
9. Listens.
10.Accepts feelings of student.
11.Gets within arm’s reach of each student each day.
12.Is courteous to students.
13.Shows personal interest and gives compliments.
14.Touches students (appropriately).
15.Desists (does not call attention to every negative student behavior).
Adapted from “TESA (Teacher Expectations and Student Achievement).” Los Angeles Department of Education.
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17. Creating an Environment of Mutual Respect
1. Know something about each student.
2. Engage in behaviors that indicate affection for
each student.
3. Bring student interests into content and
personalize learning activities.
4. Engage in physical behaviors that
communicate interest in students.
5. Use humor when appropriate.
6. Consistently enforce positive and negative
consequences.
–Robert Marzano, The Art and Science of Teaching
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18. "Rules without
relationships
breed rebellion."
–Grant East
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19. Birthday Line Activity

20. Building Engaged Schools
School Climate
This “Emotional Safety” is very important
to creating a positive school climate. The
Relationships students build while
attending school also helps in creating a
positive school climate.

21. Building Engaged Schools
We call this….
the
“School Environment”.

22. The KEY is building
POSITIVE
RELATIONSHIPS.

23. ….Making sure students have a
number of adults who know them,
look out for them, and push them
to succeed.

24. 1. parent
2. other students
3. teacher
4. administrator

25. teacher / parent
teacher/student
administrator/student
administrator/Parent
administrator/teacher

32. 1.) Trust

33. 1.) Trust
2.) Respect

34. 1.) Trust
2.) Respect
3.) “getting to know you”

35. 1.) Trust
2.) Respect
3.) “getting to know you”
4.) Reaching diverse student populations

36. “You can judge a person’s
character by the way he
treats people that can’t
help him or hurt him”
Anonymous
The “Waiter rule”

38. We must teach
them that there
are two sets
of rules.

39. Building
Relationships
“THEIRS TO
OURS…AND
OURS TO
THEIRS”

40. Listening Drawing

42. Creating Relationships
DEPOSITS WITHDRAWALS
Seek first to understand Seek first to to be understood
Keeping promises Breaking promises
Kindnesses, courtesies Unkindnesses, discourtesies
Clarifying expectations Violating expectations
Loyalty to the absent Disloyalty, duplicity
Apologies Pride, conceit, arrogance
Open to feed back Rejecting feedback
Chart taken from Stephen Covey’s book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

44. Deposit Made To Withdrawals Made
Individual In Poverty From Individual In Poverty
Appreciation for humor and Put-downs or sarcasm about the
entertainment provided by the humor or the individual
individual
Acceptance of what the Insistence and demands for full
individual cannot say about a explanation about a person or
person or situation situation
Respect for the demands and Insistence on the middle class
priorities of relationships view of relationships
Using the adult voice Using the parent voice
Assisting with goal-setting Telling the individual his/her goals
Identifying options related to Making judgments on the value
available resources and availability of resources
Understanding the importance of Assigning pejorative character
personal freedom, speech, and traits to the individual
individual personality

46. No
Significant
Learning
Occurs
Without A
Significant
Relationship.
Dr.
James
Comer