B.S. Hack's Satirical SHORT-HAND DICTIONARY OF CONSUMER SCAMS provides brief, humorous summaries of common consumer scams in order to raise awareness. The document uses simplified and satirical examples to quickly convey information about scams involving topics like inheritance, charity, online sales, romance, weight loss, and more. A disclaimer notes that the tone is meant to draw attention to crimes comedically rather than make fun of victims.

1. B.S. Hack’s
Satirical SHORT-HAND DICTIONARY OF
CONSUMER SCAMS

2. B.S. Hack’s Satirical SHORT-HAND DICTIONARY OF CONSUMER
SCAMS provides brief examples of the scams and schemes that consumers
get into. These simplified samples seek to provide a quick boost of fraud
fighting knowledge in a humorous way. Enjoy.
Sincerely,
B.S. Hack, Fraud Expert

3. DISCLAIMER: Before we begin, it may be helpful to point out that
the stance of this document conveys the topic of consumer scams
in a satirical format. This comedic perspective is not intended to
make fun of the victims of such crimes; it is to draw attention to
the crimes in an alternative way.

4. De
Debt Elimination B.S. Hack’s
Satirical SHORT-HAND DICTIONARY OF
CONSUMER SCAMS
Hack’s Periodic Table of Consumer Scams
In
Inheritance
Sw
Sweetheart
Wfh
Work-from-home
So
Soldier
Cw
Car Wrap
Gp
Grandparent
Cs
Computer Services
Fe
Foreign Exchange
Lo
Loan
Ch
Charity
Bu
Business
Inv
Investment
Af
Affinity
Lot
Lottery
Os
Online sale
Co
COVID
Ii
IRS Imposter
Ob
Obituary
Ci
Celebrity Imposter
Di
Disaster
Tr
Travel
Fu
Funeral
Mo
Moving
Pe
Pet
Sm
Social Media
Wl
Weight Loss

5. FOREIGN EXCHANGE SCAM
Iraqi Dinar will be big…soon…just watch…
…keep watching…
B.S. Hack’s
Satirical SHORT-HAND DICTIONARY OF
CONSUMER SCAMS

6. B.S. Hack’s
Satirical SHORT-HAND DICTIONARY OF
CONSUMER SCAMS
IRS Imposter SCAM
Your tax professional must have let you down because the IRS is calling
you to demand that you send them gifts cards (or go to jail).
or

7. B.S. Hack’s
Satirical SHORT-HAND DICTIONARY OF
CONSUMER SCAMS
Celebrity Imposter SCAM
Rich and famous people often reach out to their fans for financial help.
Come Monday it’ll be alright. I just need you to
send the cash so I can get out of Margaritaville.
You (Parrothead)
Jimmy Buffett
Don’t worry Jimmy, I’ve got your back! I just sent
another $1,000. Can’t wait to see you play in Cinci!
Bless your great heart you son of a son of sailor. I
may even have enough to buy a cheeseburger.

8. B.S. Hack’s
Satirical SHORT-HAND DICTIONARY OF
CONSUMER SCAMS
Travel SCAMs
Timeshares and more.
[INSERT TIMESHARE MEME OF CHOICE]

9. B.S. Hack’s
Satirical SHORT-HAND DICTIONARY OF
CONSUMER SCAMS
Disaster SCAM
Storm chasers gone bad.

10. B.S. Hack’s
Satirical SHORT-HAND DICTIONARY OF
CONSUMER SCAMS
Funeral SCAM
Uncle Harry would have wanted you to spend the money on a gold
coffin…with air conditioning…and a mini bar.
Introducing The Golden Tomb 5000
Because you only die once.

11. B.S. Hack’s
Satirical SHORT-HAND DICTIONARY OF
CONSUMER SCAMS
Obituary SCAM
Uncle Harry’s long-lost nephew, daughter, and best friend just contacted
you asking about his will. Uncle Harry, did we even know you?
Harry was like a
father to me…but
he was my uncle.
He told me before he
passed that I would
get the house…there’s
a house, right?
Henry was my
best friend since
grade school.

12. B.S. Hack’s
Satirical SHORT-HAND DICTIONARY OF
CONSUMER SCAMS
LOAN SCAM
If you didn’t really need a loan before, you may need one after…thanks
social media loan guy.

13. B.S. Hack’s
Satirical SHORT-HAND DICTIONARY OF
CONSUMER SCAMS
INHERITANCE Scam
A stranger from another country knows of your rich relative you’ve never
heard of and you’re the beneficiary of the will! Who needs Ancetry.com?
Me
Mom
G-ma
Poppa
Dad
Grandfather
Grandmother
?
‘Relative Bob’ who no one
living has ever heard of and
just died living you $2.5
million USD.

14. B.S. Hack’s
Satirical SHORT-HAND DICTIONARY OF
CONSUMER SCAMS
SOLDIER SCAM
Soldiers typically reach out to random people when attempting to get
home from abroad. If only the military had some way to transport them…

15. B.S. Hack’s
Satirical SHORT-HAND DICTIONARY OF
CONSUMER SCAMS
Grandparent SCAM
The Amsterdam police just called to tell you your grandchild is in prison
and needs money sent to bail them out. Strange as you saw them earlier
in the afternoon.

16. B.S. Hack’s
Satirical SHORT-HAND DICTIONARY OF
CONSUMER SCAMS
CAR WRAP SCAM
Yes, an advertising firm believes that your Toyota Yaris is the prime vehicle
to use to promote Red Bull.
+ =

17. B.S. Hack’s
Satirical SHORT-HAND DICTIONARY OF
CONSUMER SCAMS
Computer Services SCAM
Antivirus software that costs as much as your computer must be the best.

18. B.S. Hack’s
Satirical SHORT-HAND DICTIONARY OF
CONSUMER SCAMS
Work-FROM-Home Scam
A multinational corporation needs you to be their payroll department.
Universal Exports: 15,000+ employees across four countries and growing. You: Company Payroll Department [from personal bank account].

19. B.S. Hack’s
Satirical SHORT-HAND DICTIONARY OF
CONSUMER SCAMS
CHARITY SCAM
You didn’t realize that orphanages were funded through gift cards and
Bitcoin.

20. B.S. Hack’s
Satirical SHORT-HAND DICTIONARY OF
CONSUMER SCAMS
Business SCAM
It is always best to become business partners with people you are not
close to…or even know.
You Business Partner Ted

21. B.S. Hack’s
Satirical SHORT-HAND DICTIONARY OF
CONSUMER SCAMS
Investment SCAM
“Honest Trustworthy Investments Co. LLC delivers a 25% return of
investment in just 3 weeks GUARANTEED!”

22. B.S. Hack’s
Satirical SHORT-HAND DICTIONARY OF
CONSUMER SCAMS
Affinity SCAM
Honest Trustworthy Investments Co. LLC’s owner and I are members of
the same car club…he must be legit.

23. B.S. Hack’s
Satirical SHORT-HAND DICTIONARY OF
CONSUMER SCAMS
Lottery SCAM
If the odds of winning a lottery jackpot are 1 in 303 million, what are the
odds of winning one from another country without even entering it?
Lucky!
Odds of getting struck by lightning = 1-in-15,300
Odds of winning lottery jackpot = 1-in-303,000,000
Odds of winning foreign lottery jackpot without entering = 1-in-∞

24. B.S. Hack’s
Satirical SHORT-HAND DICTIONARY OF
CONSUMER SCAMS
Online Sale SCAM
Internet Yacht Sale: 90% off with wire payment.

25. B.S. Hack’s
Satirical SHORT-HAND DICTIONARY OF
CONSUMER SCAMS
COVID SCAMS
A cornucopia of contemporary Corona crime.
Fake Test Kits & Cures
COVID Charity Scams
Stimulus Schemes & Scams
COVID Funeral Scams
Vaccination Card Scams
Fake Contact Tracers

26. Sweetheart (Romance) Scam
So many oil rig workers looking for love.
B.S. Hack’s
Satirical SHORT-HAND DICTIONARY OF
CONSUMER SCAMS

27. B.S. Hack’s
Satirical SHORT-HAND DICTIONARY OF
CONSUMER SCAMS
Moving SCAM
Such a great deal on the moving company…as long as they show up on
time, don’t break my stuff, don’t up-charge me, or hold my stuff hostage
in their truck.

28. B.S. Hack’s
Satirical SHORT-HAND DICTIONARY OF
CONSUMER SCAMS
Pet SCAM
That tiger I bought on Craigslist was a deal. It will arrive any day…any
day now…just one more day.

29. B.S. Hack’s
Satirical SHORT-HAND DICTIONARY OF
CONSUMER SCAMS
Social Media SCAMS
I finally found out what Disney princess I am; I just needed the enter my
SSN, date of birth, and address…I’m Belle!

30. B.S. Hack’s
Satirical SHORT-HAND DICTIONARY OF
CONSUMER SCAMS
Weight Loss SCAMS
You are the same size, but your wallet has never been lighter.

31. B.S. Hack’s
Satirical SHORT-HAND DICTIONARY OF
CONSUMER SCAMS
Debt Elimination SCAM
Your new legal ‘professional’ just let you know that you don’t need to pay
on your auto loan. Turns out the whole ‘debt’ thing is a giant conspiracy.
You and your tinfoil hat were never so happy.