This document provides definitions for several tech-related slang terms that emerged in the early 2000s as technology advanced. It describes "phone zit" as a recurring chin zit from too much phone time. It defines "yellular" as talking loudly into your phone when the connection is bad. "Post-modem" refers to the panic that occurs when the internet goes out.

1. Employment n. The condition of
having paid work. The 9-to-5.
The daily grind.
An illustrated guide
by Ashley Parrish, Editor-in-Chief of

2. Ful l Time!
Phone Zit n. The recurring chin zit that results
from spending too much time on the phone.
2

3. In 20 2…
0
• Hot in Herre (Nelly) was at the top of the charts.
• Eminem’s 8-Mile debuted.
• Facebook didn’t exist.
• Amazon only sold books.
• Apple had just launched the iPod.
• Cell phones looked like this
Yellular n. The loudness one adopts in response to bad cell-phone
connection, in the misguided hope that talking louder will improve it. 3

4. Post-Modem n. The freak out you
experience when your Internet goes dead.
4

5. LESSONS
LEARNED
ALONG
THE WAY

6. FIND YOUR POINT B
…and C, and D, and E. The
har dest par t about
get t ing f r omone point
t o anot her is knowing
wher e t he next st ep is.
Mapquestionable adj. Word describing directions provided by
MapQuest that somehow cause you to drive in an enormous figure eight. 6

7. MA KE IT HA PPE N
If t her e is no point B, cr eat e
one. Gener at e your own
oppor t unit ies by f inding
unt apped ar eas of t he
business t hat coul d r esul t in
gr owt h.
E-Maul v. To stalk someone via email.
7

8. S TA Y C URIOUS
St ay on t he l ook out f or t he next big ( or sm l ) innovat ion.
al
• Be a voracious reader,
online and off.
• Network, online and off.
• Keep an ideas folder.
• Carve out time for creativity.
• Find the pain points
iQ n. Your level of iOS device expertise or lack thereof.
(She doesn’t know who Siri is? Must have a low iQ.)
8

9. ONE MORE THING …
It ’s not t he r ight
move, unl ess you ar e
t er r if ied. Go ahead,
scar e t he cr ap out
of your sel f .
Promotion Sickness n. The queasy feeling one gets
when someone really stupid gets promoted.
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10. THANK YOU