 For both parents and young person, adolescence feels like a very confusing process because so much that happens is unexpected. However confusing at it seems, adolescence is also a lawful process. But certain changes, tensions conflicts, and problems do tend to unfold in a somewhat orderly progression. Thus, anticipating the stages of adolescence as briefly outlined below may help ease some of the "bumps in the road" for parents and smooth their way.

1. By
Col Mukteshwar Prasad(Retd)
A Roadmap to Adolescent Growth

2. Introduction
 For both parents and young person, adolescence feels like a very
confusing process because so much that happens is unexpected.
 However confusing at it seems, adolescence is also a lawful process.
 But
 certain changes,
 tensions, do tend to unfold in a somewhat orderly
progression.
 conflicts, and
 problems
 Thus, anticipating the stages of adolescence as briefly outlined below may
help ease some of the "bumps in the road" for parents and smooth their
way.

3. THE JOURNEY OF ADOLESCENCE: Stage One-
LETTING CHILDHOOD GO
 Bottom of Form
 Personal disorganization increases and is beginning of
 more messiness
 forgetfulness,
 Distractibility ,
 inattention, and
 losing things
 Self-management structure fitting childhood becomes inadequate to
 effectively cope with more psychologically and socially complex
adolescent experience.
 1.A negative attitude—
 increased dissatisfaction from no longer being content to be defined
and be treated as a child,
 less interested in traditional childhood activities and
 more boredom and restlessness from not knowing what to do,
 carrying a grievance about unfair demands and limits on personal
freedom that adults in life impose.

4. THE JOURNEY OF ADOLESCENCE: Stage One-
LETTING CHILDHOOD GO
 2.Active and passive resistance—
 more questioning of authority,
 arguing with rules,
 delaying compliance with parental requests,
 letting fulfillment of normal home and school responsibilities go
(chores and homework let slide.)
 3.Early experimentation—
 testing limits to see what can be gotten away with,
 including such activities as shoplifting,
 vandalizing,
 prank calls, and
 the beginning of substance experimentation.
 For parents, this stage is when behavior seems to undergo a change for the
worse, so their challenge is to insist on responsible behavior while
maintaining a positive connection to the young person during a more
negative time.

5. THE JOURNEY OF ADOLESCENCE: Stage Two:
FORMING A FAMILY OF FRIENDS.
 Mid Adolescence (around ages 13–15) problems are
characterized by:
 More intense conflict over social freedom with parents,
particularly the freedom to be with friends.
 More lying to escape consequences from wrongdoing or
to get to do what has been forbidden. (More deceptive
communication with parents.)
 More peer pressure to go along with adventures and risk
taking in order to belong, including more pressure to use
substances to be accepted.
 For parents, this stage is when the young person has become
ruled by the need for immediate gratification and social
belonging with peers, so their challenge is to take hard stands
for his best interests against what the young person wants,
generating more conflict in the process.

6. THE JOURNEY OF ADOLESCENCE: Stage
Three: ACTING MORE GROWN UP
 Late Adolescence (around ages 15–18) problems are
characterized by:
 More independence from doing grown-up activities—part
time employment, driving a car, dating, sexual
experience, and recreational substance use at social
gatherings.
 More significant emotional (and often sexual) involvement
in romantic relationships.
 More grief over the graduation separation from old
friends (and perhaps leaving family) and more anxiety at
the uneasiness to undertake more worldly independence.
 For parents, this stage is when the young person pushes for
adult freedoms that can be dangerous to manage, so their
challenge is to insist on adequate communication so they can
inform understanding and insist on commensurate responsibility.

7. THE JOURNEY OF ADOLESCENCE: Stage Four:
STEPPING OFF ON ONE'S OWN.
 Trial Independence (around ages 18–23) problems are characterized by:
 Lower self-esteem from not being able to adequately support all the
demands and keep all the commitments of adult responsibility.
 Increased anxiety from not having a clear sense of direction in life or
the self-discipline to consistently pursue it if they do.
 High distraction from a cohort of peers who are slipping and sliding
and confused about direction too, partying more to deny problems or
escape responsibility, as the stage of highest substance use begins,
hard drugs beginning to enter the picture.
 For parents, this stage is when the young person faces the harsh realities of
separation from home, independent living, and self-support, so their
challenge is to respect decisions and allow consequences, to give mentoring
advice (when asked) but not to rescue from bad choices, and to
express faith in the young person's capacity to learn and recover from
mistakes.

8. THE JOURNEY OF ADOLESCENCE: Conclusion
 This description of the four stages of adolescence is only an approximation;
but better a rough road map than none at all.
 For more about parenting adolescents, see book, "SURVIVING YOUR
CHILD'S