A guide to male female interaction in islam by dr hatem al haj

A GUIDE TO
MAL.E-FEMAL.E
INTERACTION
IN ISLAM
di ““7^ 3-h
DR. HATEM AL.-HAJ

IX the NAME of
ALLAH
A Glide to
Male-Female Interaction
in Islam

I
Copyright © 2014 International Islamic Publishing House
King Fahd National Library Cataloging-in-Publication Data
al-Haj, Hatem
A Guide to Male-Female Interaction in Islam. / Dr. Hatem al-Haj. — Riyadh,
2014
160 pp; 24 cm
1- Islamic rulings
3- Islamic sociology
305.31 de
Contents
2- Social interaction - Islamic rulings
I- Title
Legal Deposit no. 1435/2456
ISBN Hard cover: 978-603-501-242-3
All rights reserved for the Publisher. No part of this book may be produced or transmitted
in anyform or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording,
or by any information storage and retrieval system, without written permission from the
Publisher.
The scanning, uploading and distribution of this book via the Internet or via any other
means without the written permission of the Publisher is illegal and punishable by law.
Please purchase only authorized electronic editions, and do not participate in or encourage
electronic piracy ofcopyrighted materials. Your support is appreciated.
International Islamic Publishing House (IIPH)
P.O. Box 55195 Riyadh 11534, Saudi Arabia
Tel: 966 1 4650818 / 4647213 - Fax: 966 1 4633489
E-mail: editorial@iiph.com — iiphsa@gmail.com
www.iiph.com | www.iiph.com.sa
Pronunciation and
Transliteration Chart................... 9
Arabic honorific symbols........... 13
Hadith grade terms..................... 14
About the Word 'Lord1............... 15
The Islamic Viewpoint on
Slavery....................................... 16
Publisher’s Note.......................... 18
Introduction................................. 19
Introduction to the paper
presented to the sixth AMJA
convention................................... 23
The ruling on ikhtildt
(intermixing)................................ 26
Ikhtildt in the language................26
Ikhtildt in fiqh terminology..........28
The evidence of those who widen
the scope ofpermissibility.........32
Evidence from the Qur'an..........32
Evidence from the Sunnah.......... 37
Rational explanations................. 47
The evidence ofthose who narrow
the scope ofpermissibility......... 50
Evidence from the Qur’an.......... 50
Evidence from the Sunnah.......... 54
Rational explanations:.................. 61
Accord.......................................... 66
Restrictions that are not
subject to debate.......................... 57
Yt
Y1
Yt
YA
TY
TY
TV
fV
0 ■
.................................................................
4JJ-jjl Aj.LIo
.............................................................
.................................................
.............................
....................... ...
...........................u^l y
.............................. y
................................................
0 <
Of
1
...............................Cr*
................. :i-Jl p-$Lb
...............................Cr*
.......................................
^Jl JaJ^I
........................................... i-g-T-b
IV

.4 Guide to Male-Female Interaction in Islam
Contents 7
The prohibition of seclusion .... 67
Keeping the ‘aura/i covered .... 67
The prohibition of physical
contact.......................................... 71
The prohibition of mixed crowds
and bodies touching; how to
foster a suitable environment
in the mosques.............................. 75
Lowering the gaze...................... 76
Avoiding indecency and
joking around...............................76
Minding the principle of
AV ...............................^l
TV ................ olj^l
VI ................ dUqSl r
a_«^LJI *clJ cj /
VO ....................................
Vt ........................j^oJl ofc-1
VT ................ L—Jlj
Ojjl Aj>-L>-_} jljill I_1_» oLc-1
women abiding in their homes and
that their homes need them........ 78
Details on intermixing.....................81
Age.............................................. 81
The type of situation.................... 82
The restrictions are, likewise,
stricter in crowded and
chaotic settings............................ 84
VA ......................................<A_Jl ^Jl
Al ...........Js'yfu>-'J1 aJL_a ■ ./-> a~ll
AX ......................................... _>Up|
AX ..................................
Jlj^-'l ASj
....................................
The nature of the interaction .... 86
The level ofnecessity.................. 88
An important resolution of the
sixth conference of the AMJA .. 93
Secondly — Regarding the
relationship between the
two Genders:.................................93
Mixing in the Mosques.................. 99
A3 .......................aUL>»J1 aj<_ L> Lol
AA ......................................... a^>-L>J
LxjjjJl C->ljlji oJjLs
AV ............jj-ol—11 oISA
AV .. aj'sUI J ;Ljli
AA ...................a^L_Jl
When there is an option,
should a screen be used or not?.. 109
The legitimacy ofthe screen .... 115
Preponderance............................120
Is it lawful to set up a screen
between men and women?......... 121
Proofs ofthe legitimacy of the
barrier or screen........................... 122
Blocking the means to
temptation.................................. 126
Consideration ofpublic welfare . 127
Chatting and online
correspondence.............................. 133
Sixthly. Regarding beneficial
audio or video programs that may
be tainted with some violations.. 136
Fifthly. Regarding the
Supervision ofthe
Youth's Communication(s);........ 139
Conclusion.................................. 141
Bibliography.................................. 144
AMJA Resolutions Sixth
Annual Conference,
Montreal Dhul-Qa'dah
9- 13,1430 AH
X-A
MO
XX-
XXX
XXX
xxx
xxv
1VV
Women’s rows.................................. 107
The rule;....................................... 107
Is it permissible for women to
stand to the right or to the left of
men, or in front of them?............. 108
X-V ................................. J-Jl
' *v ............>L-J1 -JA-’
’A . ,?(H>.Ujlc4;_r_. ji
J f*l ’• Jj
..........
....................................
JjL>- L>ljl :1AU
........................ tl—Jlj JL>-jll
>-L>JI a-pj^-La jAc. Ji|
..................A^jl ,^gll Ajm j jjl
...................................... O~*~ 1 o II
Jj AajVJI AS' A-J
WA ....
xtA
X t X
X11
4jj JI yj . Lw—aL>“
........................................_-a
•...................................
..............................
<AJ
JkjjZj 0^-1^
jS XV - A 5>Jl
-rt^u-VX-XAjil^Jl^Xtt-
October 28-31,2009 CE...........
Xo -
150 ........................f' n 7-i.P'
Firstly. Regarding the intermixing
between men and women; ........ 150 Xo.
■"•••• J 'll,
Glossary of Islamic Terms......... 156

10 A Guide to Male-Female Interaction in Islam
—
Arabic
script
Pronunciation 1
Trans
iterated
form
j /z/ as in zoo, easy and gaze z
f a" Isl as in so, messy and grass s
1 lT as in ship, ashes and rush sh
no close equivalent in English, but may be
approximated by pronouncing
it as /sw/ or /s/ farther back in the mouth
s
approximated by pronouncing it as /d/ farther
back in the mouth
d
1
approximated by pronouncing it as tl farther
back in the mouth
t
Ji
approximated by pronouncing ‘the’ farther
back in the mouth
dh
t
no close equivalent in English: a guttural
sound in the back of the throat
t
no close equivalent in English,
but may be closely approximated
by pronouncing it like the French /r/ in ‘rouge’
gh
/f7 as infill, effort and muff f
3
approximated by pronouncing it as /k/ farther
back in the mouth
q
4 /k/ as in king, buckle and tack k
J /l/ as in lap, halo; in the word Allah,
it becomes velarized as in ball
' 1
11
as in yard and mayo
long ‘e’, as in eat. bee/and see
(omitted
in initial
position)
glonal slop: may be closely approximated by pro
nouncing it like *t’ in the Cockney English pronun
ciation of butter, bu 'er, or the stop sound in uh-oh!
Iona ‘u as in boot and too
Arabic
script
pronunciat1011
iml as tn ’nen
/h/ as in hat; unnxc -u- _Arabic /h/is pronounced in medial and
word-final positions as well
as in wet and away

Diphthongs
Arabic 1
script Pronunciation
Trans
literated
form
long ‘o’, as in owe, boat and go au, aw
long ‘a’, as in aid, rain and say ay, ai, ei
orificsymbo'5
Diacritical marks (tashkeel)
Name of
mark
Pronunciation
Trans
literated
form
fathah
very short ‘a’ or schwa '
(unstressed vowel)
kasrah
shorter version of ee or schwa
(unstressed vowel)
i
dammah
shorter version ofoo u
shaddah
a doubled consonant is stressed in the word,
and the length of the sound is also doubled
double
letter
sukoon
no vowel sound between consonants
or at the end of a word
absence of
vowel
Arabichon
(£) Subhanahu wa Ta ala
(g) sallaAllalui 'alayhi wa sallam
(j&) 'alaylu as-salam
(<^) radiyaAllahu ‘anhu
($) radiyaAllaliu anha
(s$) radiyaAlla/iu anhuma
radiyaAllahu ‘anhum
(^) radiyaAlldliu ’anhunna
The Exalted
Blessings and peace be upon him
May peace be upon him
MayAllah be pleased with him
MayAllah be pleased with her
MayAllah be pleased with both ofthem
MayAllah be pleased with all ofthem
May Allah be pleased with all of them
(females only)

Hadith grade terms
About the Word 'Lord1
Sound: saheeh
Reliable: hasan
Weak: da 'eef
Odd: ghareeb
Authentic: includes sound, reliable, or any grade in between
Acceptable: sakat 'anhu; the grader ofthe hadith did not comment on it,
that he found nothing unacceptable in it
meaning
Jhe word lord in English has several related meanings. The original meaning is
'master' or ‘ruler’, and in this sense it is often used to refer to human beings: ’the
lord ofthe mansion' or 'Lord So-and-So’ (in the United Kingdom, for example).
The word Lord with a capital L is used in the lexicon of Islam to refer to the One
and Only God — Allah. In Islam, there is no ambiguity about the meaning of this
word. While it is true that one may occasionally use the word lord (whether capi
talized or not) to refer to a human being, in Islamic discourse the reference of this
term is always clear from the context. Whereas for Christians, Hindus and other
polytheists, the word Lordwith a capital L may refer to Allah, to Jesus or to some
imagined deity', for Muslims, there can be no plurality of meaning. Allah alone is
the Lord, and the Lord is Allah — not Jesus, not Rama, not any other being.
The Editor

The islamic viewpoint on slavery' 17
The Islamic
Viewpoint on Slavery
lavery existed before the coming ofProphet Muhammad (^p. Islam did not
abolish slavery, though it put limits on it and made freeing slaves a highly virtu
ous act.
In Islam, there is only one way a person may become enslaved and that is by
being a non-Muslim among people who have been captured after raising arms and
fighting against the Muslim nation. When such people have been conquered, the
Muslim ruler has the option of enslaving them or releasing them (with or without
ransom), and he makes this decision based upon the best interests and safety of
the state. The Prophet (^) strongly condemned any other means of enslaving a
person. Thus, no person may become enslaved due to poverty, debt, kidnapping,
committing a crime, voluntarily submitting to slavery, or any other means.
Islam encourages the freeing of slaves and has made the freeing of a slave
a form of expiation for sins such as accidental manslaughter, the breaking
of a vow, or voiding a fast by engaging in sexual intercourse. The freeing of
slaves is also one of the categories upon which the zakah funds should be spent
(Qur'an 9. 60). The Qur’an calls the freeing ofa slave an act ofrighteousness that
may be performed at any time:
qRighteous are those who believe in Allah, the Last Day, the angels, the scripture,
and the prophets; and they give money, cheerfully, to the relatives, the orphans,
the needy, the wayfarer, the beggars, and to free the slaves. b (gw ’an 2:177)
In regards to the treatment of slaves, the Prophet Muhammad (j§|) said:
«They are your brothers whom Allah has put under your authority, so ifAllah has
put a person’s brother under his authority, let him feed him from what he eats and
clothe him from what he wears, and let him not overburden him with work, and if
he does overburden him with work, then let him help him.» (Bukhari)
«Whoever accuses his slave when he is innocent of what he says will be flogged
on the Day of Resurrection.w (Bukhari)
«Whoever slaps his slave or beats him, his expiation is to manumit him.» (Muslim)
«Ifa man had a slave woman whom he fed — and fed her well, and taught her —
and taught her well, then he set her free and married her — he will have a double
reward.» (Bukhari and Muslim)
The male owner ofa female slave has the right to have sexual intercourse with
her as long as he. or the slave's previous owner, has not married her to another
person. This is a right exclusive to the slave’s owner. No one. including the owner’s
sons, maytouch the woman unless the owner marries her to him. Ifthe slave woman
bears her owner a child, then her owner may never sell her and she automatically
becomes a free woman upon his death, if he has not released her before that.
As can be seen from this evidence, slavery in Islam is far different from the
institution of slavery as known in many non-Muslim countries.
The Editor

Publisher's Note Introduction
^/fll praise and thanks belong to Allah alone, the One, the Almighty, and All-
Merciful. Blessings and peace be upon Prophet Muhammad, the last of His mes
sengers and prophets, and upon his family, his Companions and all those who
follow in his footsteps until the end of time.
Unrestricted gender interaction has become one of the major ills prevalent
among the Muslims today. In fact, it has increased to such an unprecedented level
that many do not even consider it to be wrong. Nowadays, it seems almost unavoid
able. when co-educational institutions and mixed gender weddings are the norm.
So what is the correct stance of Islam on this? Dr. Hatem al-Haj has presented
a balanced view of mixed gender interaction - detailing both the stricter and more
lenient view s - supported by Qur’anic verses, hadiths and scholarly opinions. It is
hoped that this book w ill prove to be a useful resource in distinguishingbetween the
kinds ofinteractions that are permissible and the ones that are totally forbidden, and
in know ing how to conducting oneselfwhen interacting with the opposite gender.
May Allah accept the efforts ofall those who contributed to the production of
this book, and may it be acceptable to Him, ameen.
Muhammad Abdul Mohsin Al-Tuwaijri
Managing Director
International Islamic Publishing House
Riyadh, Saudi Arabia
IVe begin with the name of Allah
(StibliMiii wa Ta 'ala—Glorified and
Exalted is He), to Whom all praise is
due. We praise Him, and we seek His
help and forgiveness. We seek refuge
withAllah (&) from the evil ofour own
selves. No one can misguide the one
whom Allah (&) leads to the straight
path. Similarly, no one can guide the
one whom He allows to go astray. I bear
witness that none is worthy ofworship
but Allah (Jg) and that Muhammad
(salla Allahu 'alayhi wa sallam —
blessings and peace be upon him) is
His slave and messenger.
cP-A d dJl
dl jl -Cg-ilj id
iUxj U .dy^pyy oJ—p jl
The foundation of this book was a
paperthatI submitted to the sixth annual
convention ofthe Assembly ofMuslim
Jurists inAmerica (AMJA). I was asked
towrite aboutthe intricacies ofthe rela
tionship between the sexes as it relates
to intermixing, exploring the issues of
gender interaction in the mosque as well
as in social and cultural gatherings. 1
was asked to probe such issues as the
exchange of affectionate emotions, the
bringing together of teenagers of both
sexes at public conferences to allow
them to get to know one another, the
establishing of co-educational Islamic
A—Jjy i—jUx^JI Ijjfe UjIu_ > >IS Jla5
^^Ldl ^Jl Lgccs-G
i—dds Ji jlSy IISCjAL AxjjJtJI
J~> A3*)ldl iJlSLlI ^jJl Lg-S jjCl jl
dl J—--C>dl
JiLjy iUilitJlj 4_pUc>-^|I ol—^Lcdl yl
cddldl jpLl-dl
ialdl CL>IJ~-Jp>dl ^jA Alj,UI
cdaljjsxA ^xjlXo frLtjly Ik—ijlxdl oluhd
Jj*-jdl J_J APxjl^adl J-^ly

schools, and whether there is a con
cession permitting men and women to
shake hands in the West.
When I felt that the honorable schol
ars had found the paper commendable,
and since they had incorporated most of
its recommendations in the resolutions
of the sixth convention. 1 embarked on
rewriting it. My intention was to make
it appropriate for addressing the general
public, in the hope that Allah (As) might
benefit those ofmy Muslim brothers and
sisters who get a chance to read it. 1
also added two chapters to the original
paper one on mingling in the mosques
and the issue of partitions therein, and
the other pertaining to online interaction
between the two genders.
The paper that was originally pre
sented to AMJA was written in Arabic,
as per the custom of thefiqh (Islamic
jurisprudence) assemblies.1 When I
decided to submit it for publication, I
translated it into English because the
primary audience is intended to be the
Muslim community in the West. I had
the help of other individuals in render
ing the paper into English, but I have
carefully reviewed and corrected the
whole translation. The fact that I am
1 Wherever possible, Arabic terms have been translated into English. In cases where we
have chosen to retain the Arabic, the transliterated word or phrase is shown in italics
the first time it appears in the text; the term is also defined in the Glossary found at the
end of this book. (Editor)
^^>vll c-Ulp* jl jjt. 1 1^
jiSI IjJê-lj I.
J_pl jl JJjljt clgri . ..r-1^5
*l»jl L*^„—..I <^*111 al?lAc_^
jr“ be* (>• l-fr! Ul jl
Jjjl jl jildS OjIjJ . J-xxl—
J^-l---- Jlj LaJkJcs-l L^j.l . X»a
J-^slyll ^jS- y>-'Jlj clfcj _y>-l_y>Jl 4—Asj
11 _ i>ll
.(cJ^>1)
1 found it beneficial to keep the
original Arabic as well as the trans
lated English text together in one book.
1 hope that the students of knowledge,
who usually like to review the original
Arabic work, will appreciate that. I was
happy to find my publisher, I1PH, con
curring with this thought.
L>«^J I jLl1 yfii LxS” jaa]I <xJJL
jIiSJI j-iu L»J
aAJJI Jpj <_$* I* jl
-Gj . u-JyxjL CJUL>tJI
Through this book, I have attempted
to collect as much evidence as 1 could
to present the topic in question, and I
have presented this evidence with as
much impartiality as possible. 1 have
tried to raise and discuss issues in light
ofthe opinions ofthose who have been
endowed with knowledge; at the same
time, I have tried to explain in more
detail anything I found ambiguous in
their statements. All the issues have
been simplified and categorized for
appropriate presentation for the benefit
ofall those who wish to study this topic
in detail.
the author of the original work gave
me some liberty with the translation, so
while it conveys the same concepts and
implications, it may not necessarily be
faithful to the letter ofthe original work.
As forthe translation ofthe verses ofthe
Qur’an, 1 have used the Saheeh Inter
national version throughout the book.2
21Introduction
jllyJl jUl jl OjIj j
^111 aJL SJjlil d^-lj <_jIjS . z»^/l
(4-1111 jljjl) jJlUl dJJj y | jjj
j5! 11* jIapI jJj
L. jL, l^j ^Hl jj j|
rilAl Ipj' JxJl
j^J (H-Jl <_Jkll 11*
j- U^JI ll» j UJ
a- 1 U^JI j* il Û1,.,.J|
11 Ûj».| y
j-i>Jl jiî
JSLii uj ^ji
Saheeh International, The Qur ’an: Arabic Text with
(Jeddah: Abul-Qasim Publishing House, 1997).
Corresponding English Meanings
2

?•> ■I Guide to Male-Female Interaction in Islam
It is important to note that nothing in
this text can be considered to be the final
verdict on anv topic unless it constitutes
a verse from the Qur'an, an authentic
Sunnah5 or a verifiable clear consensus
ofthe scholars. Therefore. I implore my
brothers and sisters to exercise caution
in handling any ambivalent statements
they may read, and to ask Allah (-Js)
to forgive the writer for his mistakes.
I also ask my readers to overlook the
errors and the ambiguities, and to adopt
only what conforms to Allah's revela
tions and intent.
Introduction to
the paper presented
to the sixth AMJA
convention
Jl
aji ^aji
1 The lexical definition of Sunnah is: the way, or the followed example. In juridical
terminology, it means a source for the whole religion: creed, legislation, manners, etc.
It consists ofthe Prophet’s:
-oral traditions: known as Hadith; some scholars have used ‘Sunnah’ and ‘Hadith’
interchangeably.
-actions: including those which he avoided.
- tacit approvals: not forbidding an action that was performed in his presence or with
his knowledge.
begin with the name of Allah
0g);all praise is due to Him. We praise
Him, seekHishelp andbeseech His for
giveness. We seekrefuge withAllah (3s)
from the evil ofour own selves. No one
can misguide the one whom Allah (®
leads to the straight path. Similarly, no
one can guide the one whom He allows
to go astray. I bear witness that none is
worthy of worship but Allah (iK) and
thatMuhammad (^) is His slave and
messenger. He conveyed the message
fromhis Lord (*fe) with perfection. He
explainedto us the rules ofour religion
withrespectto every aspect oflife; even
thePeople ofthe Book envied us for his
explanation. 0 Allah (3Q, send peace
andblessings upon him, his household,
his Companions and whoever follows
his religion until the Day of Judgment.
j o-U?k -UxJlj <Ul
tLkil jjy 'y ‘vU'-j to
Wi Ji-A> J-4
Jcj-llj aUI ^1 <dl jl nJ
jl
cf~'~4 jp l? A3 £'_r- P (jejj i^jUl
.U^JI Jftl aJL Jp LL^.
*JI P* (J-j Jso
t-bu U .JoJl Jl
Allah (fe) has created human beings
in two categories: male and female. He
has made them equal with respect to
their humanity, and He has addressed
them equally with the commands and
prohibitions of the religion. He settled
tjr^k AP J- 411 jJu.
iLpjJl ti_,
a jA t^si j ”7
............... b? ,
iibUJI jlj ‘ . i
- ’ r ,.

them in the land, and indeed the species j IacjJo- j I „ g- ,
cannot continue unless the two sexes .. .
Iq A y>tJ 4jLwJ2jJ OkXjlQ <2 Jo 4-^v £ a
unite. As such, the nature ofthe relation- ' ‘ '* •
ship between them and the limits and J u? ri"1'Jsw’Ml d'J J-Uij
restrictions imposed on them must be
understood with precision and mastery
and applied with resolve and excellence. j
This is because an unbalanced under
standing or application results in great
risk to the individual and the society
alike.
Introduction to the paperpresented to the sixth AMJA convention 25
terms of the polarization and differ
ences that occur amongst the callers
to Islam because of it. It is almost as
ifeveryone who speaks on the subject
becomes guilty on one of two counts:
extremism or laxity. 0 Allah (&), grant
usaccuracy, success, ease and aid. [End
ofAMJA text]
<us jJL-j ilSd 5As idddj ols-aJl
1 ^.-■,«..J| jl Jl .
The brothers responsible for the
sixth annual AMJA. convention have
entrusted me with the task of speaking
about the intricacies ofthe relationship
between the sexes as it relates to inter
mixing, whether in mosques or in social
and cultural gatherings. 1 have also been
asked to discuss the exchange of affec
tionate emotions between the sexes, the
gathering of teenagers of both sexes at
public conferences in order to allow
them to get to know one another for the
purpose of marriage, the establishment
of co-educational Islamic schools, and
the permissibility of men and women
shaking hands as a part of American
culture.
dJJJ—-<J Jh ..I,'...*I
<JULil
'-Ij— y-—~>J1
I c^L^U^Jl jl
idJaUl y-Li^dl JilJj (,4-ilaiJlj
‘Cd.cJl J I
oLldd
iilalz>cj> <~«*>L^I l^ljjJl
. ajlJdJl
It would not be an exaggeration to
present the contributing issues under the
title of ‘intricacies’, for this is a very
complicated topic. In fact, I know of
no other issue in fiqh that is more chal
lenging to maneuver than this one, in
l«i* di# l4zJl <xJL_a ««LJlSdil»
LT* dl>- JJLi
b> dLdl Jd. .

The ruling on ikhtildt (intermixing) 27
The ruling on ikhtildt
(intermixing)
efore I discuss the ruling on inter-
mixing, it would be pertinent to define
this term. What do we mean when we
refer to this intermixing that is permit
ted by some scholars and prohibited by
others? Is it the gathering of men and
women in one place, or is it men and
women speaking to one another? Does
it connote a certain type of speechjoint
participation in a single activity, eating
together, jointly attending a lesson or
lecture, a gathering accompanied by
entertainment, or a gathering with close
physical contact? Or is it something else
altogether?
Ikhtildt in the
language
Ikhtilat, in Arabic lexicon, refers to
mixing. This indicates the co-existence
oftwo entities, such as the co-existence
of a disease and a patient, or of two
beings sharing one place. Ibn Faris has
said about a related word, “Al-khaleet is
the neighbor or the one next to another.”
It could also mean partnership in busi
ness; Allah (ê) has said: <[...And
indeed, many khulata' [pl. of khaleet
— meaning associates] oppress one
another., h (Qur 'an 38:24)
It may also mean intercourse, as al-
Azhari said. “Al-khilat is mukhalatah
between the man and his wife — when
he has intercourse with her."4
U Jf-Ui jl t, xi'
“jrTHJ
j*
J- j c
j-** j J
ji J ^Mi j
j j j
- fl~aJl j
j-t ^1 VjljJSl)
UUIJ
j^JI Jl—J -Ul
•Ja-U-j UalS- dallj al_s~tJl ”
aJoJL<a fîJl JaJl>-j •Ajrya •
JuMl
.(<^1yJly
JlyaJMl jl HpIjJI
It could also be said that ikhtilat is
the gathering of men and women in
one place with close physical prox
imity, allowing them to hear and see
one another. However, if one restricts
the usage of this word to this defini
tion. it will not be possible to make a
generaljudgment. The default ruling in
such a scenario is only that such gath
erings are prohibited. That would be an
appropriate stance, justified by the fol
lowing hadith (a statement of Prophet
Muhammad [^] that was remembered
and recorded by his Companions and
followers):
«1 have not left behind me a trial more
harmful to men than w omen.»(Bukhari
and Muslim)
Common sense would necessitate
ensuring a distance between the source
ofthe trial and the one being tried. Nev
ertheless, the authentic Sunnah and the
practices ofthe righteous predecessors
have proven the permissibility ofmany
forms of intermingling when needed.
Jfl Jyi 4J'J'-J
jy Oj ij^P yl
-tiy . .jJJ ALU'
LbKJlii :^y>jSl Jl» US Û?JI
3.«ljjvoL>-131 aIaI Jj-jJI iU'lU-j
jl :JyJ'
«■!—aJlj Jb»-jil >-l y* -t>Jl
Jj>-Ij JlSJ —’jlljl
-yAxJl f $•■<?«! rl«—j SJJ J-* S*
jl Ml a> (^jjl M ^LycJl I
aJI A>-UJl aJjp -l_t- aJ J_^>Ml Jl tJli
J p-^ y*J ‘ y*
jJ> i-J jj l«» aJji
j.ajlj ^..□■*2 . 4aI—.Jl yA Jl>.j|
a:—11 Jj jSJj .jyU'j aûJi y_j
<y* y~ <-il—Jl J aJI
ijyâJl ojiS <A>-l^JI JC.G'
caL>-L>JI jJjGj
.byCj>-Ni I-a-J a-al?- x;
J~uajJl A—Jt' <2113 JS 4fy»«i LaJ
.^y<gyjl IjUt
4 Mahmood ’Abdur-Rahman 'Abdul-Mun'em, Mu'ajjam al-Mustalahat wal-Alfadh al-
Fiqhiyah (Cairo: Dar al-Fadeelah. 1998). 1:98.
■ 8A/1 .â1J| Xp JLp Sja*,J SaII HjlNly ,-jl^lU „ , Il .

The multiplicity of those permitted
forms and the wide range of situations
necessitating such mixing constitute a
detailed and important answer to the
question of the intermixing of genders.
This is particularly so because of the
absence of a comprehensive definition
that includes all forbidden forms and
excludes all permitted forms.
The ruling on ikhtildt (intermixing) 29
Ikhtildt in fiqh
terminology
The truth is that the term ‘ikhtilat’, or
‘intermixing’, cannot be found in the
books of fiqh or in the language (ter
minology) of the fiqh scholars. Lin
guistic definitions — as I have previ
ously mentioned — are not very helpful
here either, because even though the
meaning is obvious, this term includes
a wide variety of situations. This term
(in the form ofa noun) has also not been
used in the revealed textual sources in
the context ofthe relationship between
men and women. Therefore, even after
pinpointing the linguistic definition, the
complexity remains.
fl j <jl Aj
AjJ J aLJ| s_ •< •
<_S"
oSl slJiS N AjjJdJi
- US - ^£5^
iSbUJl
tkiJ <>
JlSLiy1
elaborate on the reason behind not
issuing a general, unqualified ruling of
permissibility or prohibition on inter
mixing;they also underscore the impor
tance ofavoiding generalizations when
speaking about this challenging issue.
He (may Allah have mercy on him)
said: Ibn al-Mundhir and others have
transmitteda consensus that it is permis
sible forawoman to attend and pray the
Friday congregational prayer, since it
has been established in a great number
ofauthentic hadiths that women used
topray behind Allah’s Messenger
in his mosque, behind the men. This is
alsobecause the intermixing ofwomen
with men, ifit is not in seclusion, is not
haram (forbidden according to Islamic
law).*8
= Muhammad (Jg) that, with the Qur’an, form the basis of Islamic law) and Islamic
history; he combined knowledge with practice. He was dedicated to worship and asce
ticism, and he was one oftwo scholars in the later generations considered to be the
highest authorities in the Shafi’i school. He was bom in Nawa. which was part ofSyria.
Abu Bakr Muhammad ibn Ibraheem ibn al-Mundhir an-Naysaboori (242-319 AH) was
ajurist, an erudite imam and superb memorizer of Hadith. and one of the shaykhs of
Islam. He was bom in Nishapur (in what is now Iran).
8 Yahya ibn Sharafan-Nawawi, al-Majmoo' Sharh al-Muhadh-dhab (Beirut: Dar al-Fikr,
1997), 4:404.
JjJll J'jjjJl ty (A)
Ijj J -aIY 1 jJj >_.A.i«lt J j.».„t,ll Jj>-I uXaJ| xbdl ».J»ldl JUl
._a1W ax : JjJ .bjj-i j'jy JJ
daiUll plNl 44-aaJI JjjjL-JI jxJl pyjl bH i U j,| ;y (> •)
j ajj. ^yuîi
^Xp aaUJl jL-j. ajLS
<*y J J- jf- ■u®!
y j^xJI xp i-b’yLs-Ml
IaSJUJI a—UJI oAa
' ’ jXxJl ^1 Ji ; a1JI a^j>-j Jlj
J jU Û»-)ll
j^jjU’)ll cL xij sjU ax«^JI Jy
j .!■/». elxJl JI aU_X_ <Jl A>«y_âJl
<_IU j y aUI Jy>j <—iU
131 JUJl aUJI ibbUl jSj ‘JUJl
(H)
The answer to this question is best
left until the end of this paper, for the
following two quotes by Imam an-
Nawawi,6 from his book al-Majmoo
jr—->^ Jlj-Jl Ixa LU-yi J13 IJJ
Jjj y-T ^Jl y-JJ <jl
Muhiy ad-Deen Abu Zakariya Yahya ibn Sharafan-Nawawi (631-676 AH) was a lumi
nary jurist and scholar of Hadith (the collected statements and actions of Prophet =

31
JO X Guide to Male-Female Interaction in Islam
He also said: Among the repugnant
innovations initiated by the common
folkduringthesetimes is the lighting of
candles on Mount'Arafah on the night
ofthe ninth [of Dhul-Hijjah] or other
wise. They bringthe candles fromtheir
countries for that [purpose], and they
oiW L.
o.iaj jyojj
take greatpainsto safeguardthem.This
isa gross error inwhichthey have com
bined several types ofoffenses, among
which are wasting money on inappro
priate things and exhibitingthe rites of
the Zoroastrians in safeguarding the
fire; also included is the intermixing of
JU1 vlil kp ja If-iy'
jle Ipj <,J
oldl ^j tJUJL J
men and women when there are candles
in their midstand their faces are clearly
visible.12
Imam an-Nawawi was not the only
one to have been confused concern
ing an issue of this sort, and he was
an erudite scholar who was qualified
to verify information. So how does he
mention the same issue in the same book
as both permissible and reprehensible?
The answer to this question will most
certainly reveal itself in the following
pages, by Allah’s leave.
I will begin by presenting the evi
dence, and then I will go into detail
by discussing the current situation
and its implications. I do not normally
jjbj kJL—a
ya Jo-j i-jIxS'-bu lij
[y*Jl j] c>L>-LJl
LLj l-i*
.aJJl jjl 4^,5Lid!
Ul.j
nrove ofdividing the discourse into
J opposing sides, but I have taken
lhlSapproach for ease in presenting the
evidence. I will refer to the two sides as
the-permittees’ and the ‘prohibited'.14
ormore accurately, those who widen the
scope of permissibility' and those who
tJohten it. Thereafter. 1 will assess the
superiorposition and present a detailed
exposition, with the detailing perhaps
takinglonger than the assessment. This
isbecause people [ofknowledge] agree
upon more issues than they differ over;
their differences, in many cases, are
simply over the wordings ofthe issues.
Incomingupwith a religious verdict,
mostofthe real differences only appear
duringthe stage oftahqeeq al-manat, or
ascertaining the presence of ‘illah (an
effective cause for the ruling).1’ This
occurs during the final stage of con
structing the religious decree; it relies,
for the most part, on an awareness of
the actual situation and the application
ofappropriate Islamic legal principles
to new customs, norms and cases.
J5
X JU, Ji
c^1 £
' i ;■>> l» jhi
.....ui A1-’ J^S
J <5A" u V1
U- Wi>JJ c^' dl-”!
J_^l ^1 J'
, aJlS V_---“1—j
an-Nawawi, al-Majmoo ',8:111.
14The reason for putting these terms in quotation marks is that the ‘permitters’ do in
fact prohibit many forms of intermingling, just as the ’prohibiters’ permit many forms;
therefore, dividing people into these two categories is impossible without a considerable
amount ofimprecision.
lsFor example, the effective cause for prohibiting wine is its property of causing intoxi
cation. Ifit is ascertained that a given substance is intoxicating, then this provides the
basis for ruling that it is prohibited.
j/LJl JJjSj yt jj^Jl jl _ J (A ~k)
J*' ( h V)

33
32 A Guide lo Male-FemaleInteraction in Islet”1
The evidence of those
who widen the scope
of permissibility
tll0sewhowerelying.20Thisisonetype
^intermixing, but notice also that this
is supposed to take place in an open.
^nz/"’g z.
Evidence from the Qur'an
cT^llah. Most High, says in the
Qur’an:
([Thenwhoeverargueswith you about it
after [this] knowledge has come to you
— say: Come, let us call our sons and
yoursons, ourwomen and yourwomen,
ourselves and yourselves, then suppli
cate earnestly [together] and invoke the
curse ofAllah upon the liars [among
Ui].^ (Qur’an 3:61)
public space.
Allah, Most High, also says:
([Those [ofyour] women who commit
unlawful sexual intercourse — bring
against them four [witnesses] from
amongyou. And ifthey testify, confine
the guilty women to houses until death
takes them or Allah ordains for them
[another] way.lt (Qur’an 4:15)
J15J
. ..« ‘
jlk
[ 1 0
J -4 7^
Jl] 4
[T1:Jlj^s-
This was revealed afterthe verses of ;j'^L>e>Jl oU Jl«j cJ
hijab.18 It contains an invitation to the . u (
Christians ofNajran to bring together v/JiAr ' Jr! J'y!" lSjUu
on one plain those people mentioned, Id* iilaLJJ _u~lj
in order to invoke Allah’s curse upon
A woman found guilty of fornica
tion used to be punished with house
arrest until Allah (4?) specified that
the penalty was flogging or stoning.
Therefore, the confinement of women
to their houses should not be consid
ered the same as their ‘remaining’ in
theirhouses. This is because the former
is a punishment, whereas the latter is
an honor, an elevation and a command
from Allah, Most High, to the best of
women: the Mothers of the Believers
(the wives ofthe Prophet [sjg]) and all
Muslim women to come after them.
The interpretation of the meaning
of women ‘remaining’ in their homes
JJLC aJljJU
aIAJL “A-_ - LjJ aJJI
C—Jl olj^Jl '^1
.[rr
.j
Jr* Jr^J
y cxJ- jJJj .^.^1...
18 Hijab literally means to cover. It refers to concealing, through proper attire, the part of
thebody that mustbe screened from publicview, orto theconcealmentofthe entire body
by a partition. In this book, we have used this word in the context of the first meaning
unless specifiedotherwise. Broadly, hijab should be regarded as a prescribed system of
attitudes and behavior regarding modesty and dignity.
Jl iJj'oJL jl cdjjdl y—< jib As ( A)
.[^0ytdJl M Ciljyll jX. yb j'AJ'fl Xs- jus.
J1Thisis an old practice used when two groups insisted on their opposing points of view,
they challenged each other to meet so that both could ask Allah to curse the ones who
were lying. In this particular incident, Prophet Muhammad (took close members
ofhis family with him. The Christians realized that he must be telling the truth about
being a prophet, since he would not put his family in danger of being cursed by Allah
ifhe waslying. (Editor)

35
A Guide to Male-Female Interaction tn Islam
is apparent in the biographies of the
Prophet's wives (may Allah be pleased
with them all). It is known that they
did venture outside their houses for
vanous needs, but this did not neces
sarily entail the intermixing with men
that most scholars have prohibited.
Some of them have prohibited, or at
least expressed their dislike of, women
going out since thatwould lead to una
voidabletypesofintermixing; however,
the best example was that of the first
generation ofMuslims.
jts db V^l <5-111 Jt>-JL
<5-111 i^yi uds «ji
!• <5-^1 ‘^1
.JjSij^ji
;ijL <>j y| jp JbJ JUj
•[V1:ija] 4 bj<y<j
Here is the wife of Abraham, the
father of all the prophets, standing
before two guests. It must be noted,
though, that she described herself in
another place as:
(...a barren old woman.]*
(Qur'an 51; 29)
Allah,MostHigh,saysthe following
regardingMary:
(...Every time Zachanah wenttoher in
the prayer chamber, he found with her
provision...h (Qur’an 3:37)
Jbj Jlij
.[YV J']4. lijj
lsZachariah(^),thehusband
y’s maternal aunt, entering
prayer room. Even if that does
ecessarily imply seclusion, it cer
tainly involves intermixing. However,
lujsher custodian, and he said the fol
lowing about himself in another verse
ofthe Qur’an:
{...and1 have reached an extremely old
age.]* (Qur’an 19; 8)
Allah, Most High, narrates the fol
lowing about Moses (St) and the two
daughters ofa pious man:
(And when he came to the well of
Madyan, he found there a crowd of
people watering [their flocks], and he
found aside from them two women
driving back [their flocks]. He said;
What isyour circumstance? They said:
Wedonotwateruntil the shepherds dis
patch [theirflocks], and our father is an
oldman.]> (Qur’an 28: 23)
i^hiSl
Jl
These two women used to go out
daily to water their livestock. On that
particular day, Moses (SO spoke to
them both and watered the livestock
forthem. However, an objector would
say that they apologized for going out
towaterthe animalsby explaining that M
their father was an old man, and even
then, they held their animals back, to
avoidinterminglingwith men.
j ^b *b
jIS <c£lj <U» jl Ml "o
y J^b
/z-» 'z zzz ^z»z z/Z
ajjp «•[* C*-lj /
[XV:^uil]

One might also object to the pre
ceding evidence from the stories ofthe
prophets becausetheirpractices were in
accordancewith theirspecific Sharia.21
Nevertheless, the correct position in the
principles ofjurisprudence is that the
religious laws that came before us also
apply to us, as long as our Sharia does
not specifically abrogate them. So is the
issue of intermixing one of the issues
on which religious laws have differed?
It may be true that our Sharia con
tains stricter measures of chastity and
abstention (from sexual immorality)
than were imposed on others before
us. Indeed, Allah (&) has promised to
preserve the Qur'an, while the other
nations have corrupted their books. It
is He Who has made the matter ofmale
female relations stricter for us, because
thisparticularfitnah (trial ortemptation)
was the most intense one for the previ
ous nations. However, it is inconceiv
able that divine legislation should differ
greatly over such issues since humans
—theirnature and their instincts—are
the same as they were before, and since
the five prime objectives of Sharia are
also unchanged. One ofthese objectives
includes the protection of lineage by
ensuring that children are bom within
the family establishment. (The four
j" Sr"jA c/3
j" £/“’ j" aLjSII
Jl (J^-xSll II (.
jyJl Ljls'Jl yl jlS J^s cLp^-1
jib jl j>Jl ?*jljjJl c-aLx-l ^yJl
ii*Jl Jlc- XxtJl jlj ojlj
^l»j <dJl Jlj .tjj- L» Ij
(fj'yi U jfjiJl JiLxj XjXi Xs
<cJjl jlL 'IS L»J x^Jl jtce
jSJj .Jl p-a'Jl «cAJl
IsJx>-I jj'i—xI oxa ^jJlJI <_a.lz?xu <JI
ojjljS-j ijL-j^ll jL*j^lly clj-*S
ijjcj pj ^jLiJJ <u~«j>JI x^LLJIj
. L,JI -LL-
21 Sharia literally means a path to a body of water. In Islamic terminology, however, it
refers to the sum total ofIslamic laws revealed to the Prophet (^).
^objectives are the protection of
‘jigiott, life, intellect and property.)
Evidence from the Sunnah
pnthe authority of‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr
ibnal-‘A? (radiyaAllalni 'atthu—may
Allah be pleased with him), Allah’s
Messenger (^) said:
detno man from now on visit a woman
whose husband is absent, except when
he has with him one or two (other)
men.» (Muslim)
Theaforementioned hadith indicates
that such a level of intermixing is per
missiblewhen there is no seclusion (one
manand one woman alone together) and
they are safe from temptation; that is,
theman and the woman are known to be
pious and chaste. (The latter condition
has been taken from the principles and
other accounts ofthe Sunnah.)
The Messenger of Allah (^r) was
well aware ofthe praiseworthy protec
tive jealousy of the men of his nation.
Still, he was careful not to let this pro
tectiveness become a reason for Muslim
women to be deprived of the chance
to visit the house of their Lord, even
though he knew this would cause a
certain type of intermixing.
pJ-£ -Jj ~ 5^ will jlS XaJ
jpX" AXol o b®
oXa OjJL 'Jl

•I (.iuuJe to Male-Female Interaction in Islam
(In the authority ofIbn ‘ Umar (<&).
the Prophet (j^) said.
Po not prevent Allah's slave-women
from going to Allah’s mosques.»
(Muslim)
Look at the beauty of his expres
sion. He said ‘Allah's slave-women’.
Through this expression, the master of
concise wording and comprehensive
meaning undoubtedly intended to indi
cate great and noble meanings and to
draw attention to the rights of women,
who. like men, are ‘slaves ofAllah’.
Hence, He instructed that they should
not be prevented from frequenting the
houses of the Great Master, the Noble
Lord, the Merciful and Beloved, Glori
ous be the Most High in His Majesty'.
There is also no doubt, however, that
coming to mosques leads to some level
of intermixing with men, because the
women's rows, even ifthey are behind
the men’s rows, are not very far from
them.
sl^Jl cA
VI Jj 1x^1
‘(Uip’Vl a_j| ’ 3
—J| jjyi jf
Ai'j c~_J
dr* &U
J^J|
1 JJJJI
V jJji L, Ju.
It was reported from Sahl ibn Sa‘d
(&):
«Indeed, Isaw the men tying their izars
(garments which are worn wrapped
around the lower half of the body)
around theirnecks like little boys, due to
the shortness ofthe izars (when praying)
behind the Prophet (£&). So someone
n* '>•> ’Mstiun <
said: O you women, do not rat*e your
heads until the men rise » (Muslim,
-* i
>
«It was reported on the authority of Abu - -
Hurayrah , ***** ’
A man came to Allah's Messenger
(Sip and said: Verily, I am hungry and — _ _
exhausted. -I •
So he (^) sent to one of his wives (for
food), but she said: By Him Who sent “f**
you with the truth, I have nothing but
water.
Then, he sent to another (wife), and
she said something similar, until ail of
them had said the same thing: No, by <
Him Who sent you with the truth. 1 have
nothing but water.
So he ($z) said: Who will host this man
tonight? May Allah have mercy on him.
A man from the Ansar (the Muslim cm- t
_5~
zens of Madinah who gave refuge to the -
Prophet (^) and the other Muslim emi-
grants from Makkah) stood up and said.
1 will, O Messenger of Allah.
He headed with him to his house and
asked his wife: Do you have anvihin.
She replied: Nothing but my children's
food.
He said: Then distract them (the chil
dren) with something, and when our
guest enters, put out the lamp and
make it look like we are eating. When

he reaches out to eat, get up and go to
the lamp to put it out.
He said: So they sat. and the guest ate.
When morning came, the Ansari' man
went to the Prophet (j^p, who said.
Allah was well pleased with what you
two did for your guest last night.*
(Muslim)
In al-Muwatta26 it says that Imam
Malik (mayAllah have mercy on him)
was asked: Is it permissible for a man
and his wife to eat with another man?
Malik replied: There is nothing
wrong with that if it is the known
custom ofthe people.
However, ImamAhmad ibn Hanbal
(mayAllah have mercy on him)forbade
men from eating with women from
whom they were divorced.
J* dUl<
Jo
JIS Ijj dUl JLas
‘-tUS
■ Ca1L» (JS1 Jj -Lxj-I
lifetime) and ‘umrah (a minor, non
obligatory' pilgrimage to Makkah). they
ffeie not confined to their homes even
after those verses were revealed.
It could be argued that this was
before the verses ofhijab wererevealed.
The response is thatthe full hijab—as
will be proven later — was legislated
as an obligation on the Mothers ofthe
Believers and as a recommendation for
others. This issue is a matter of schol
arly debate, as is well-known. Besides,
the Mothers ofthe Believers went for
^IjI IA* Jj t(JLa> jJj
~ JxlSdl ’L>t>xJl jl> (,_It._____
«It was reported on the authority of
Fatimah bint Qays (radiyaAlldhii ‘anltd
-mayAllah bepleased with her), who
said: I married Ibn al-Mugheerah, and
hewas atthattime one ofthe best young
men of Ouraysh (the dominant tribe
in Makkah at the time of the Proph
et's mission: their society was based
on polytheism). Then he was (fatally)
wounded in the firstjihad27 withAllah's
Messenger (^).
When I became a widow, ‘Abdur-
Rahman ibn 'Awfwas one ofa number
ofthe Companions of the Messenger
ofAllah ($g) who proposed to me.
Allah's Messenger (proposed to
meon behalfofhis freed slave, Usamah
ibn Zayd. 1 had been told that Allah’s
Messenger (j^) had said: Whoever
loves me, let him love Usamah. So
when Allah’s Messenger (Jg) spoke
to me, I told him: My affair is in your
hands, so marry me to whomever you
please.
cJjj) rcJli
> - ' . -X ->t| '.’I
jLf.
dll Jji J
sb <lii Jj-ij
iji—.i o*yAji **j j
<dJl Jj—'j jl -ti c-lSj
LXJLs <_jr** .’Jli
SE -dJl J
f'5 •,fc£krif^
aaaJI iiJaP jUxiS/l 4~c'
>.jli-^Jl J_yc> <kJl
Sl^jl -tbj-x (“I jl * "3^** • Ijol-j
jllP laa-t jl oj^l jlfl. ./all 0 j k<T
‘ >—JjiJl >—jl
dsH -sA4' j^J jr? "-A? f
r <j* A* ^>
Hajj (the majorpilgrimagetothe Sacred
Mosque in Makkah, to be undertaken
by every able Muslim at least once in
26 Abu 'Abdullah al-Asbahi Malik ibn Anas, al-Muwatta' (Cairo: Dar Ihya’ at-Turath
al-'Arabi).
2 Jihad literally means exerting one’s utmost to realise an objective. It is not equivalent
towar; ithas a wider connotation and encompasses all kinds of striving in the cause of
Allah ($): physical, intellectual and spiritual.
•X X *1 /1 —4 (3) (X A)

43
The ruli^S
4 Guideto Male-Female Interaction in Islam
>
He said: Move in with Umm Shareek
(until you finish your waiting period).
Umm Shareek was a wealthy
woman from the An?ar who used to
spend a great deal inAllah's cause, and
she hosted many guests.
1 said: 1 will do so.
Then he said (changing his mind): Do
not do that. Verily, Umm Shareek is a
woman who has many guests. Verily, 1
would not like for your head covering
to fall fromyou, or foryour garment to
be lifted from your leg, allowingpeople
to see ofyou something that you would
dislike their seeing. Instead, move in
with your paternal cousin, ‘Abdullah
ibn ‘Amr ibn Umm Maktoom (who was
blind).» (Muslim)
As-Sha‘bi said:29WevisitedFatimah
bintQays; shewelcomed uswith fresh >-.>>->■;, -,‘d o{,
dates, called Ibn Tab, and she gave us • J ’ •
a drink made from a type of grain. I y du, L1L •
asked her about a woman who has ' £,z , z/ zS,
been divorced three times and where <?■' d'ddl
t forbidden from doing that, though
f-umah was forbidden from staying
with her for that very reason; perhaps
die difference in their ages was the
ptionale for that. When Fatimah grew
older, she did as Umm Shareek used to
do (receiving guests).
Thiswoman, UmmShareek,used to
be inundatedwith visitors, and she was
_J Ijddl IaL_aj dU
(Jtwasreportedonthe authority ofAnas
ibnMalik thatAllah's Messenger
(j|) used to visit Umm Haram bint
Milhan (^)while she was married to
'UbadahibnSamit and she would
feedhim(j|).
Oneday,Allah'sMessenger(||)visited
her and she fed him... Afterwards he
slept and then woke up laughing.
She asked: What makes you laugh. 0
Messenger ofAllah?
Hereplied:People frommy Ummah (the
entire global community of Muslims)
werepresented before me, waging war
inAllah’scause,ridingthe open sea like
kings on thrones.
Shesaid:0MessengerofAllah, beseech
Allahto make me one ofthem.
Heprayed forherand then laid his head
down again and slept. Then he woke
up, laughing.
She asked: What makes you laugh, 0
Messenger ofAllah?
He replied: People from my Ummah
were presented before me, waging war
29Abu ‘AmrAmir ibn Sharaheel ash-Sha'bi (19-103AH) was one ofthe greatest narrators
ofHadith from the generation ofthe tabi'oon (those who knew or met any ofthe Com
panions and transmitted hadiths from them). He was called ‘the leader ofthe believers’
in termsofbeing a scholarofHadith, which is the highest ranking amongst the scholars
ofthat discipline. He was bom in Kufa (currently in Iraq).
tdiijv Jtjl Z*1 (jt :z* ('l" *9
jj yS> oLoilzIj id JISj nUlaJI jut J? cOtadl d-J-td Jl>j ya
—A t •V oUj (jSJL _a A 4^ aJj < jJl xp
di J'3'" '■ i<
y 'oild f S ..
‘ j ' T'Ti - djaJ'
JltU U :cJli dlSUs J*->
!4JI
‘.cJU :Jli
jl Jjl UJl jjdj U ’.cJds
c’15
U .di* .dU j Jaiddl
0* J-6 ’til u
Jr jdddz d
J'' -I ’ , , S
: - r •ddJSt

*
45
mm
,•1 Guide to Male-FemaleInteraction in Islam
inAllah's cause (as he had said the first je-•
Shesaid: 0MessengerofAllah, beseech ' ’
Allah to make me one ofthem.
He said: You are one ofthe first.
Umm Haram bint Milhan sailed the sea
during the rime ofMu'awiyah
Upon landing, she fell from her mount
and died.» (Muslim)
Here we see thatAllah’s Messenger
(<g) slept at this woman’s house — in
thepresenceofothers, ofcourse—and
she was asking him ifshe could be one
ofthose who ride the open sea, waging
war. He did not condemn her for that.
On the contrary, he prayed for her as
she asked, and Allah GU accepted his
prayer.As forthe claim that he is special
in this regard, there is no evidence of
that. The basic principle (the default)
is that the ruling is general. The fact is
that he is like a father to the believers;
it is reported thatthe Prophet (j^) said:
«Verily, 1 am like a fatherto you; 1 teach
you...» (A sound hadith recorded by
Abu Dawood)
He harbored compassion and affec
tion for them and remained committed
to their welfare. The same legislation
applied to him as itdid to everyone else,
- ol yJl oJa xp ?L> <lU| J
jljLj js La < - Lx>- ,T
...... r
Mi 51/ />JI X OjS .
s " o-’-* (J
JJI 1*1 /X J,
JJj 5GdJx
bl C/UXl
fl b-i q»Ji* i>5
(Hi uiiji
jl jb>- Jis
^permissibfeforhimtomarry
)Vonlen from amongthem-
It was reported on the authority ot
Anas ($■). who said: On the day of
battle ofUhud, some of the people
around the Prophet were defeated... and
Isaw'A’ishah bintAbu Bakr and Umm
Sulaym. Verily, they were both lifting
uptheirgarments (such that) I could see
theanklets on theirlegs while they were
earning water vessels on their backs,
emptying them in their (the soldiers’)
mouths, and returning to fill them up.
thencoming to empty them into the peo
ple's mouths. (Muslim)
An-Nawawi said:
In this hadith, there is mention of
intermixing of the women in the
battle with their men in the midst of
fighting, in order to bring them water
and the like.34
The battle ofUhud took place before
the verses of hijab were revealed, but
women continued to participate in
battles afterwards. Imam Ahmad has
related that six ofthe believing women
were with the army that besieged
Khaybar, and the Prophet (^) gave
them a token portion of the spoils. (A
weak hadith recorded by Abu Dawood)
J-l fJ; jlS :Jl* c/’
X-'b flJ
, 2 e * ■’f
jUj.o ■
(H*l/I xLp/J
f t .t . . i-
,1
MYahyaibnSharafan-Nawawi,Saheeh Muslim bi-Sharh an-Nawawi (Beirut: Dar lhv’’
al-Turath al-‘Arabi, 1972), 12:190.
jLp r „t. ■

46 .4 GuidetoMale-Female Interaction in Islam
It was reported on the authority of
Sahl ($).who said:
«When Abu Usayd as-Sa'idi got
married, he invited the Prophet (^)
and his Companions. The one who
madethe foodandserved ittothem was
none other than Umm Usayd (the wife
ofAbu Usayd). She had soaked dried
dates in a stone vessel overnight. When
the Prophet (<g) finished the food, she
mashed itand served it to him to drink,
:Jl» J*- Z
to show greathospitality,»(Bukhari)
Hafidh ibn Hajar al-‘Asqalani said:
Accordingto thehadith. it is permissi
ble for a woman to serve her husband
andthose whomhe has invited. Itgoes
:jb^Jl jjl laiLJl J(j
yj j'j> XxJl
Xf dlli J*, jl JX Mj
withoutsayingthatthiscanhappenonly L
wherethereisbothsafetyfromtempta
tionandadherenceto appropriate attire
concealingthe ‘awrah(thepartofaper
son’s body thatmust be screened from
publicview)?1
11 was reported on the authority of
Yahya ibnAbiSulaym, who said: I saw
Samra’ bint Nuhayk-a woman who
livedduringthe lifetime ofthe Prophet
(g) - wearing a thick, full-body
garmentandathick, elaborateheadcov-
enng, with a whipin hand,disciplining
:Jli pL J js,j
c5pl x ojLSj - ex
37Ahmad ibn ‘Ali al-‘Asqalani Ibn Hajar, Fath al-Bari Sharh Saheeh al-Bukhari, ed
Muhib ud-Deen al-Khateeb(Beirut: Daral-Ma'rifah, n.d.), 9:251
■'^/°^jWl^ (va)
• ydaJl oljj ( f < )
A'l
id forbid-
. neople. enjoining good anl . .
AJ!»Wilreliable)
1. Some people claim that intermix
ing curbs the desires, disciplines
the instincts, and prevents repressed
emotions and psychological com
plexes, and that separating the
genders only makes the yearning
i^l jl
x-lxi .LXJI JlLJIj
.Uddl ’oXi Jl
stronger.
Perhaps this point of view (despite
the exaggeration involved) bears
some semblance of truth when
the separation between the sexes
becomes extreme, leading to con
strained pathways to marriage.
However, the objectors might say
that we have not seen intermixing
preventany sexual desire and intense
needforthe opposite sex in permis
sivesocieties. On the contrary, it has
only added to their chaos. In such
societies, the rates of divorce and
marital infidelity, and even sexual
deviance (such as homosexuality)
are rising as a result of people’s
consistent pursuit of the forbidden.
Therefore, if we were to permit
some ofthat which is forbidden, it
would not curb people’s desires; it
wouldmerely feed their demand for
> J pc<ll lA*
Xp ^jljXl y X'LJ'
U~- JjaJI J
J^J dpi lW' £
ds')L>-'y,l Jl
J UarJl JJLij
olilxJlj JWI __
bl W c-^ uj j^|
Ukj JU>I <
... n - J 'aa

49
48 A Guideto Male-FemaleInteraction in Islam
more, whichwould lead to the viola
tion ofmore restraints. It might be
said that presention is better than
cure, because stopping themselves
is harder for those whose feet have
already started to slide down a slip
peryslope. The longerittakes them
to restrain themselves, the more
quickly they will fall to the bottom.
It will not be long before these indi
viduals start clinging to others lest
they fall alone; subsequently, all the
peopleon thatroute will come crash
ing down together.
AjlfjJ jj .(J Ik Jjj
j4 dA JkA-hj
y>L’ jJjl-Ctj jl ‘UoJj
.yiill ^jl—'
Jyb- ojju jl Ij_* J
^kil) . Luas- IjylglJ oJ^-j j oSG
,(pL>Jl oL5L<a>-^/l jjkjv ^1
^Muslim world, and other factors.
Still, does narrowing women's social
sphere, in the manner seen in certain
societies, also lead to women being
more unlikely to marry? Perhaps
there is a grain of truth in this.
ikhtilat (intermix1"^
The ruling on'kh
2. Intermixing provides an opportunity
fora mantogetto know awoman (in
ordertopropose mamage) while she
is commuting on the same route or
is present at the same university or
workplace;thepercentageofunmar
ried women is rising in certaincon
servative societies due to the fact
that few men can actually get to
know women.
Thisconclusion isnotentirely sound,
dueto multiple factors thataffect the
testing ofthe hypothesis. One could
ask how we can be so sure that this
is the sole reason why so many
women remain unmarried. Ifjudged
impartially, other possible reasons
might be the ever-rising cost ofthe
wedding gift (dowry) presented by
the groom to the bride, tribal loyal
ties, widespread unemployment in
xi J^-jb jkll I — Y
Ijjlw ^IjjJl >■■■ 1 la I ol^»jl
(J^jJl Jjl <ajL>J| jl IgjLjj
jk«j j A—-jlxJl Cj'hl-bo> jl_j
J*j AxJj *daab>wjl
•oljJl JP JyijAJ Jl>yll J-LoJl
JxljP 0^ ^,l,„u
oJj> JaLkJl
jl Jjt ‘JlL
jj^ Lxj
iJlkJlj <LiU j
i? (_r^l j£Jj VJoIjjJI
ol^JJ 5
l* obJl jjbu aaUlJI
t. The restriction ofwomen to certain
fields has wasted their potential and
limited their abilities. Thousands of
women were scholars, jurists and
qualified muftis (scholars capable of
issuing religious edicts) in the past;
however, the present-day Ummah
hasbeen unable to produce the likes
ofsuch women. Hafidh ibn ‘Asakir
himself acquired know ledge from
three hundred women. Where are
those women in our time? If one
wereto ask, “And where are the men
who are like them?" there would be
anelement oftruth to the objection.
Nonetheless, it is no secret that the
level of women's education and
general knowledge has declined to
a far greater extent.
i»S/l 2.4b_? (.CjUjLJI (^>1 aaJI
c’-rH
S P Jjl jajL>JI (jl . b-*'
jiAJl Jb-^Jl :jj 2)li lUUj
J ulSO J^J
4^*“- >1j—a?‘l il>-
Jl^j J
-f

50 t okk*'»Atfe-Fmrffhteradto”
The evidence of those
who narrow the scope
of permissibility
Evidence from the Qur'an
<4llah (S) has said inthe Qur'an:
(.And abide in your houses and do not
display yourselvesas [was] the display
ofthe former tunes ofignorance. And
establish prayer and give charity and
obey Allah and His Messenger. Allah
intends only to remove from you the
impurity [of sin], 0 people of the
[Prophet's] household, andtopurify’ you
with [extensive] purification.»(Our'an
33:33)
Remainingintheirhousestoprevent
temptation was made obligatory’ on the
Mothers ofthe Believers, as they were
addressed firstand foremost. However,
the generality of1illah in the saying of
Allah (£): (...to remove from you
the impurity [of sin]...jl indicates that
Muslim women of all times are also
being addressed, forAllah, Most High,
L>lj ccall y’bll jIS ISIj
dy ;kJ|
cA d-b
J J
would not be pleased with the sins of
any believing woman.
s reSpect, al-Kasani (may Allah '
^^rcyonhim/'said:
yheya" aSree^ [meaning in the
lljjafischoolofjuristic thought] that
itisnot permissible for the younger
ones ofthem [the women] to go out
fortheFriday prayer, the prayers for
the two Eids (the two celebrations:
one at the end of Ramadan and the
otheratthe culmination ofthe Hajj),
or any of the [five daily] prayers,
due to the saying ofthe Most High:
(And abide inyour houses...]?, and
the order to stay is a prohibition on
moving about.42
It must be noted that the intention
here is only to present the explanation
and understanding of the aforemen
tioned verses by the great Imams, not
necessarily to concur with them on this
particular edict.
Allah te) has also said:
(0youwhohave believed, do not enter
thehouses ofthe Prophet except when
you are permitted for a meal, without
awaiting its readiness. But when you
ate invited, then enter; and when you
41 ‘Ala’ ud-Deen Abu Bakr ibn Mas'ood al-Kasani was a Hanafi jurist, titled ‘king of the
scholars’. He died in Aleppo (a part of Syria) in 587 AH.
n‘Ala’ud-Deenal-Kasani, Bada’i' as-Sana’i' (Beirut: Dar al-Kitab al-‘Arabi, 1982),
1:275.
^.Jdl (tn
,_A 0 AV ^Je>-
I ^jldj (11)

52 1 <W-»> IfaMnile Imenwrii’"
haveeaten,dispersewithout seekingto
remain for conversation Indeed, that
[behavior] was troubling the Prophet,
and he is shv of[dismissing] you. But
Allah is not shv ofthetruth. And when
you ask [his wives] for something, ask
them from behind a partition. That is
purer for your hearts and their hearts.
And it is not [conceivable or lawful]
foryouto harmtheMessengerofAllah
or to marts his wives after him. ever.
Indeed, that would be in the sight of
Allah an enormity.j (Qur'an 33:53)
ly^^l JU
,theoM»siKCO“Ualu
"T.,P"*f0"win8l'c»v
andthe immoral visit you, so what if
you were to order the Mothers of the
Believerswith the hijab (to stay behind
acurtain)? Allah, Most High, thereaf
ter revealed the verse of the hijab.w
(Bukhari)
Ibn Katheer(mayAllah have mercy
on him) said:
Inotherwords:As I haveprohibited
you from visiting them, likewise,
do not look at them at all. Even if
one ofyou wants to get something
from them, do not look at them or
ask them foranything, except from
behind a bamer.
Jy-^i j* cs'
jlS y!_l j$J| IjylJj" jJJ J5
yb yp Jjjj
>[)J j*
• *—
Many ofthe scholars of Qur’anic
interpretation have said that the 'hijab'
mentioned in this verse (meaning
‘screen’ in this context) is particular to
the wivesofthe Prophet (jg).
Objectors, on the other hand, may
say that the generalityofthe ‘illah has
been established from the implication
ofthe verses. Therefore,Allah’s saying:
(That is purerforyourhearts and their
hearts]) indicates a general ruling.
ji jjy.-aa.ll j» y-iS JUJ
Thecontextofthe verses, along with
the instructions preceding and follow
ingtheone about talking from behind a
screen<(...do not enter the houses ofthe
Prophet... or to marry his wives after
himKall imply that the ruling is specifi
callyforthe wives ofthe Prophet .
The saying: ({...That is purer for your
heartsandtheirhearts...h does not refer
to marrying the Mothers ofthe Believ
ers after the Prophet’s death, for this
couldnot be imagined about them. The
‘illah, we believe, is thus specific and
u? jjSUl
kl*ll Jl :Jyi Jl ySyjuJJy
tjjLu’ Jyj 1^)11 ^[aJI
tdb > Jli J jOj
Perhapsthe command aboutthe hijab
wasrevealed because many men used to
enter the houses ofAllah’s Messenger
(>g), and since he was the foremost
teacher of the Ummah, he could not
preventthem from doing so. Still, it was
hisrightto feel assured that his women
were protected and that those coming
and going would not develop any inap
propriate intentions in their hearts.
e-MjJW d'lj
jl :JUL j.
J eJis bl alyji jb

The Prophet (||) also said:
45The chain ofnarrators ofthishadith is sound and according to the conditions of 1mam
Muslim.
at' o*4 6V /' J jUn)
f'' /'^t*5—• ^>^0 (j) ( k V)
JU will e U)) ; Jjl -Z
j Al
f>Ji ./ W'
li is valid, however. to apply pan
oftins ruling to all women who may
notbedressedtntheirmostappropriate
attirv athome In this case, they should
speak to strangers from behind a par
tition. This was the understanding of
Shaykh al-Albani (may Allah bestow
mercvonhtm).
4 Gw*»tb/c-FiwuV Inh-Wtion i”
jl f ZJ
v jjlyJl
^jji P 'Aft jiSj) •jjl— ‘.(^l
.(LSI op - alii - ^Uhll
Evidence from
the Sunnah
The rulif'S °n
(
0n is‘awrah, and when she
the devil makesher appealing
L$ofmen.»48
Onthe subject of the woman being
(Jh, Ibn ‘Abdul-Barr (may Allah
ffletcy on him) reported that ath-
j4’ said, “Awoman has no better
than her home, even if she is
Allah's Messenger(|p has said:
-The prayerofawoman in (die family
pan of) her home is better than her
prayer tnthe formalreception area, and
herprayer tnherownpmate quarters is
betterthanherprayerin(the familypart
of) her home.» (Abu Dawood)45
alii Jy
/ Z < *• »z * 0 0 S
Jyil Slpl
J. pjl paAi jpbU?j J
He further quoted ‘Abdullah ibn
as'ood (i^j), who said, "A woman
is ‘awrah, and the closest she gets to
Allahiswhen she is in her own private
quarters, for when she goes out, the
hlmakes her appealing in the eyes
ofmen.”50
Ath-Thawri also said, “These days,
1donotlike for women to go out to the
Eidprayers.”51
t’lbnKhuzaymah declared this hadith to be weak, but al-Albani graded it sound.
”Abu ‘Abdullah Sufyan ibn Sa‘eed ibn Masrooq ath-Thawri (97-161 AH) was one of the
greatestofthe generation after the tabi'oon. He was called ‘the leader of the believers’
interms ofbeing a scholar of Hadith; this is the highest ranking amongst the scholars
ofthatdiscipline. He was bom in Kufa (currently in Iraq).
'Thishadith is graded as elevated’, meaning that it is traced all the way back to the
Prophet (|p.
■' Abu ‘Umar Yoosuf ibn ‘Abdullah an-Namari Ibn ‘Abdul-Ban, at-Tamheed lima fil-
Muwa||a min al-Ma aniwal-Asaneed, ed. Mustafa ibnAhmad al-‘ Alawi and Muhammad
Abdul-Kabeer al-Bakri (Morocco: Ministry ofEndowments and Islamic Affairs 1967)
11:401-402. ’ h
j cy. 4J xp ^V. (ox)
IM ~
j (.oY')

56 .4 GuideK’ Me-Fen^f InlcrMWn in Islam
51
nen.lUgonlMMtdmnnUiig)
.UJI ot ;> oAU .It was reported on the authority 4JI J_^jJU:Jti “jij* ^1
Jj’ Jtx^Jl sjjU, .
t*/*J tiy*1 »UJl j
Ulj« '.dll <xk>j JU °°.«t^^
M CjljJ>l>Jl f-L-Jl <jja.z,
AnAawawifmay Allahhavemercy
ihimlsaidabwttteprayerV'lndeed. J ‘
ia liet Mii f aI Hsa n’Aman nttanAinrt
of Abu Hurayrah (<£,) th3t Allah’s
Messenger (jg) said:
«Thebestofthe men’srowsarethefirst,
andtheworstarethelast.wbilethe best
ofdiewomen'srowsarethe last,andthe
worst are the fiRl MMushml
Inasf^reportedlhathisgrand- A J
iother.Mulaykah(^).mitedAllah's {> z/ >t z z s z
lessenger(&)iosharesomefoodshe fSi Jj-^j
iadcooked.sohe(|)aleofiiandthen Jj ,i4f |^» ;
aid:Stand,sothatlmayprayforyou. «Z( , . ' > >,
Viwljju ^2> J| ’.dJJto
AnasibnMalik(i|e)said:So1 stood z/" , z , ",
andheadedtoamatofours,whichhad rJ 4* f& & M
tumedblackfromlonguse. I sprinkled J j.-’.- g
it with waler, andAllah’s Messenger ,z<z. « ~ < Zz
(g)stooduponitAnorphanboy and J Qi?
I formed a row behind him, and the p
Ah Jj-5 Ju* Ju (jii j/j
$Ju .uuljj odiiJa *.%
L? '^AdJl oil Co*%321 ijli Jjl
.dUS
This elderly woman prayedbehind O> 6j^
herowngrandson,whichmakesitclear
kj'l t°A)
lookathow the Prophet took ^1 j^-^l
pmionsto preventthe intermixing ".
ofmenwithwomen even in mosques,
thepurest of all spaces and the most Jl CoAj jSJS ^>
kWplaces on earth to Allah. He “u • • . . «. . „
I
I
I
M^^MlolS jMA
• t>AVal ja d
JtUV) ^p3i yU^<0K

59
54 .4 Guideio AWe-Ffl*ite IntewtM in Isluni
did this by separating the rows of the
women from those of the men. by
remainingseatedafterthe tasleem until
thewomenhad left, andby assigning a
special door ofthe ntosque to be used
by women only. If sueh precautions
were taken in the mosque, a pure place
ofworship in which men and women
are the furthestfromtheprovocation of
desire,taking suchmeasures elsewhere
is undoubtedly important
, - .'%-!' 4*! d-SUlj 1 JJl
—-Jl
iaUJI J*J c? ÎjJl jyj
.Ol Aj ,5jJl y^Lkll
UiljJli J* l»
■Jj' '-A J-*
Z'ât night and circle the Kaaba
butwhen they wanted to enter
e.they used to stand (wait for a
1until the men had come out.
îldu
.(j'] would go to ‘A’ishah with
âyd ibn ‘Umayr while she was
tJ)1nginside the mount ofThabeer.
(pbtiJurayj] asked: And what was her
hijab’
It was reported on the authority of
Ibn Jurat], who said:
'Ata' informed me that when Ibn
Hisham prevented women from
performing the tawaf(circumam-
bulation ofthe Kaaba. the House of
Allah in Makkah) with men, ‘Ata
asked: How does he prevent them
when thewives ofthe Prophet (||)
performed tawafwith men?
I (Ibn Jurat]) asked: Was that after the
(verses ofthe) hijab or before?
He ('Ata’) replied: Yes, most verily, I
saw that after the hijab.
1 asked: How didthey intermingle with
men?
He said: They did not intermingle.
'A’ishah (4.) used to circle the Kaaba
while separated from men (or to the
side), not intermixing with them.
Awoman said: Let us kiss(ortouch) the
black stone, 0 Motherofthe Believers.
She replied: Forsakethat, will you not?
jl : JU
tjli lJU-jh e-L-Jl
,^'said: She was in a tent ofTurkish
fell, with a light screen. There was
BOttiingelsebetweenher and us besides
iljal, and 1 saw on her a rose-colored
garment. (Bukhari)
Sheherselfrefused. The femaleCompan-
sg J : '—JS’»
SxjL) :cJls «?JJJ-^J|
cSjil Ji! jyJJ jl» :Jii ((Yjls j
.«ujlie>JI jJJ
eJis jiaJLL jSJ (J)) :J15 ((?jLJJpl
0^. JaJ ("Jp
L^îlkln 15IJSI cJlii « • gUIlLt
cJj .<d£> fl
JJJb.
yJs is,
- - ' ST-S j 11
<* X
HafidhibnHajar said in Fath ul-Bari:
Inthe narration ofal-Kushmeehani,
[the word translated here as ‘sepa
rated’ is]hajzah,with the letter ‘zay’
[not hajrah, which would mean ‘to
the side’], which is the narration of
'Abdur-Razzaq. He explained it at
the end, saying: It means separated
from the men by a curtain.59
Lljj jj'
:JUi co>l J 0^3
1referred back to al-Musannaf® and
foundtheexplanation of‘hajzah’ towards
theend ofUmm Salamah’s hadith, which
59Ibn Hajar, Fath al-Bari, 3:480.
‘Abdur-Razzaq ibn Humam as-San‘ani, al-Musannaf ‘Abdur-Razzaq, ed. Habeeb
ar-Rahmanal-A'dhami (Beirut: al-Maktab al-lslami, 1983), 5:68.
.oAoâ> /X^(5(”^X)
•TA^ (TV)

60 .1 Guide to Me-Femalc Interaction in M""
followsthishaditliof'ATshah ) and
describesthe same events.
This hadith is the basis for the pre- ilivl J^l JoJl |
lUll ‘obUftj oljall
fl aSfi (,Jv>.
•A>l Jj
scription ofhaving a bamer between
men and women during tawaf and
in prayer, because the Mother of the
Believers did so in the presence of the
Companions, and no one disputedwith
them about that.
flie hadith above contains clear
' ctions for those who are con-
'"^dabout their faith to avoid places
ftuin and to seek refuge in the for-
’ 6Sol‘piouscaution. Its content should
(every mufti, however well-inten
ded, from venturing into matters of
^nature nonchalantly.
Rationalexplanations:
«AbuUaydal-.Ansarit<^,)relatedthat ;
as he was coming out ofthe mosque,
men were mixing with women on the 1
road.HeheardAllah'sMessenger
tellthe women: Stayback; it is not foi
you to walk in the middle ofthe road.
Keep to the sides of the street. After
that a woman would stickto the wall
socloselywhilewalkingthatherclothes
could catch onit»M
I. Blockingthe means
One ofthe rules of the pure divine
lawisthatifAllah (fc)prohibits some
thing,He also prohibits the ways and
manswhichleadto it. The Most High
hassaid:
^Anddonotapproach unlawful sexual
intercourse.Indeed,it is ever an immo
ralityandisevil as a way.p (Qur 'an 17:
12)
ci (jdZ eSy U '.JJl Jli
''■'ulJjl Jl>Jl
Thetemptation ofdesirebetween the
sexesisagreatdanger, so it is essential
tobefirmin cutting off all means to it.
tJaP jc*.
Jai Ji fjdl cs*r? J3^
:<dJl j JjL diJiIn this respect, al-Kasani has said,
“Sincewomen’s going out is undoubt
edly a cause of fitnah, and fitnah is
haram, then whatever leads to haram
isharam."64**67
64 Related by Abu Dawood. Declared weak by a group ofscholars, among whom are Ibn
Qattan in al-H'ahm nal-ee ham and Ibn Muflih in al-Adab ash-Sharee ah. Al-Hafidh
declared it to be reliable in Hidayat ar-Ruwah, and so did al-Albani in Saheeh Abu
Dawood. Abu Dawood remained silent about it.
. .jJJljJU-Jt»LJlJjo)
• i. •. Pei II .. .: . ill i.Kli ... ’
kasam, Bada i as-Sana i‘, 1:275. See also an-Nawawi ai
^/o^j^JljkljXvo . .. .

A Guide ^dc-FendeInteraction i" M""
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have
mercy on him)'*0said:
There is no doubt that enabling
women to intermingle with men is
thebasis foreven affliction andevil,
and it is one ofthe greatest causes
for general punishments to be sent
down. Also, itisoneofthe causes of
Vj* ;dJl v (»_iJl ^l
>1—Jl jl
» > ,
j* '•r“J Vi J-^l <Jl>-
»<ul«Jl CjLÂaJI v-jL^vI , UcJ
obJl j_A jl—3 >—jl—<1 <j| I <
destruction, bothpublicand individ
ual. Mens intermixingwith women
is one ofthe causes oframpant sin
and unlawful sex. which in turn
leads tomassmortality and continu
ousepidemics. When theprostitutes
intermingled with Moses’ soldiers
and illicit sexual relations became
widespread. Allah sent a plague
upon them, and seventy thousand
ofthem died in one day.70
fc^LxJI Oj^jJl
X-ju LLkJl JaJ>-l l2J_s l|
j oU ij_^LLJl Jji
. (I I jÂ——■ ~U>- IJ
2. Dissatisfaction with one’s husband
orwife
‘’Shams ud-DeenAbu 'Abdullah Muhammad ibn Abi Bakr, known as Ibn al-Qayyim.
was a Hanbalijunst and a student ofImam Ibn Taymiyah. He was an erudite encyclo
paedic researcherand oneofthe greatest reformers and scholars, given to devotion. He
was able to purify the matters ofpurification ofthe soul from the excesses of some of
the scholars ofthe discipline who were less able to verify information. He was bom in
Damascus in 691 AH and died there in 751 AH.
70Abu ‘Abdullah Shams ud-Deen Muhammad ibn Abi Bakr Ibn al-Qayyim, at-Turuq
al-Hukmnahfis-Siyasalash-Shar'eeah,ti. Muhammad Jameel Ghazi (Cairo: Matba'at
al-Madam, n.d.), 407-408.
jV-d' i/aA •**•' j! frVjr At tsf' y. V ji^' jr-o-i : ys (V y)
4-44JI yL *—9jyAxJI
jilÛbUaji jW JJjs .ywvjl JUlj cjJubJl iLJjJl jLS j^-lj
■o^tjb' ‘VA
.('A-f •VJ-XJl jÛi (VY)
1S happening in reality, and it
TI"S,a behold. People are at their
lS nd infuli t'orni *n fr°nt °fStran'
hut while in their house, they are
diat less than that. So perhaps a
01™“
jn sees his friend's wife and admires
^softness ofhervoice, the delicacy of
1^fame. the sway ofher walk, or even
êxcellence of her manners and the
superiorityofher intellect. Meanwhile,
juswoman looks at the husband ofher
sisteror her friend and likes his sound
logic,his stylishclothing, the respect he
commands, orsomething else. People’s
eyesinevitablywander to what is in the
handsofothers. Thus, families who are
afflicted by complacency in this issue,
who sit all evening chatting in mixed
company, will come to witness unenvi
ableconsequences.
1 Someone might be able to keep
himself in line, but he can never
guarantee the feelings of others.
Indeed, another person’s attachment
to him might bring about harm for
him, even if he does not show the
same feelings in return.
The ruling on ikhtilai (inter
J*~ jtidLjyi ji -r
J—. O' -JI i^1
C?>- jb
O|’ r1 db
f Frequentminglingmay lead to a loss
of men’s integrity and the dimin-
ishment of their manliness, to the
point ofbecoming effeminate in the
way they sit and talk, in their body
language, and in terms of gestures
andboth voluntary and involuntary
6^ jl - J
oijU, ; 7 .
<■ ... ‘A O'X'Jl ,

Guide to Male-Female Interaction in Islam
movements. It might also lead to
women being very audacious and
less modest. Although men and
women should share the qualities
of courage and mercy and confi
dence and sympathy, among other
human virtues, there is a difference
that must be maintained. Harmony
ofthe family and the society cannot
existwithoutrecognizing thisdiffer
ence between men and women—a
difference not only in their physi
cal makeup, but also in their emo
tional and behavioral composition.
Indeed, this is one of the condi
tions for obtaining perfect balance
between gender roles.
jl fLdlj
jJill j-Jj Jjy
j- *y||
ji/Jl Y JJI
JA lift j| .dkdjs
•jr~^l jl_pl jc? J-^Xjl
5. The permittee argue that intermix- ;
ing curbs the desires, disciplines
the instincts and protects against
repressed emotions and psycholog- .
ical complexes. The more conserv
ative scholars replied to this argu
ment by pointing out that none of
thathashappenedin societieswhere
intermixingandsuchpermissiveness
is common. (
just made the situation worse. Each
year, in the U.S. alone, there are
more than 200,000 people who are
subjected to rape or sexual assault,
and this number does not include
victims under the age of twelve.
Someoneissexually assaultedevery
two minutes; W/o of the rapistsare
Jy -o
JLj co^l
(J j iLl jl
J^l
Jt ‘**1)11 Ji’j l^Yl
On the contrary, it has J &y'
ji uu^i
•A
j* J ,
n^w0""
ji„lcquaintan«s.an<i7%are
jjes. More than half of these
incidents take place at the victim’s
home or within a mile of it.73
nd it doesn't stop there. In the
ltlKdStatesalone, more than 100,000
yildtenarewaitingfor families to adopt
^because they have no parents to
uhcare ofthem.4
Do the Muslims want any of that
feta communities, whether in the
West or the East? We must remember
tareactionary' responses are behind
mostofdie deviation from the rnoder-
tpathofthe religion.
vo AiSl'
, l . r .
J**
.^j/^j/Jl jl j
i. JbeSlI j jks CJjJl
jf. _jly^'bll ji^l
.jjjjJl <^X~-rJ
■Statistics',Rape. Abuse & Incest National Network (RA1NN), accessed January 25,
1012,httpjlwww.rainn.org/statistics.
■'iRiidsinToslerCare and Adoption—FY 2002-FY 2010”, U.S. Department of Health
ffliHuniaiiServicesChildren’sBureau, accessed January 25,2012,http://www.acf.hhs.
goviprogams'cbistatsjesearch/afcars/ttendsjune2011.pdf.
“Statistics”,Rape, Abuse &. IncestNational Network /RAININ'), accessed January 25,
Ml.httpjlwww.rainn.orglstatistics.
"Wsinfosier Care and Adoption—FY 2002-FY 2010”,U.S. Department of Health
t&iRumanServicesChildren’sBureau,accessed January 25,2012,httpJ Iwww.acf.hhs.
1 ^ipw^ffiisicioisiaisjesearchlafcarsltrendsjune201 .pdf.

uale-^lc"'
ag^'°*66
Accord
CD • ,nnearSf*®thepreV10US , < L^l
erhapsnaPPears itisnot pos- j^lj
XouSanati’nanddetail-
lt also appears that the ruling®
men interacting with women differs
according to the ages ofthe individu
als involved, the type ofsituation, tl
natureofthe interaction andthe level o
necessityforitBeforegoing intodetail,
it is necessary-to specify certain guide
lines over which there should, ideally,
be no differences.
ji^ji _>U
f^li J?
nf consensus as Per
^^beretheProphet
iefoaoM11^
.WgcHemale^t"1’
ber.»(Muslim)
Keeping the 'awrah
covered
jyji y-- -
Allah (U) has said:
* •• and not expose their adornment
W to their husbands.. ,b (Our 'an
1131)
• Jli
5o.j ... >
iJ^'J'^ofconducttobefol-
garment to be worn.

The ruling on ikhtilat (intermix1.
68 .4 GuidetoMale-Female Interaction in Islam
parts of her adornment which should
remain covered,norshould she doany
thing that is seductive and may cause
men tosinfully incline towards her. The
Most High has said:
4 -.And letthemnotstamp theirfeetto
make known whatthey concealoftheir
adornment...h (Our'an 24:31)n
She should also not converse with
men in a soft, flirtatious voice; instead
she should speak tn a businesslike,
serious and respectable way. On this
point,Allah (S) has said:
^... do not be soft in speech [to men],
lest he in whose heart is disease should
covet, but speak with appropriate
speech,j) IQur'an 33:32)
jj Jj
.Ji j jj' Su
[rr 4
Fora woman, lowering the voice is
apartofexpressing her good manners.
Allah's Messenger (jg) also indicated
this when he told the men:
«Why isitthat 1 have seen you clapping
so much? Whoeverbasaconceminhis
prayershould say: SttbhanAllah(Glory
be to Allah), for verily, ifhe says this,
he will be noticed. Surely, clapping is
for women.» (Muslim)
This hadith is about what to do
duringprayer, yetitindicates the differ
ence between thevoice ofawoman and
j-> j* oljxJl o]
dJl JIaa J]jLiI jJj <.*.—>j|
jjj JU»:JL>-JJ Jis <i—>-
<ili OLtf J *jL JJ/i.-Jl
.HfrLcJJ J.e./at.ll ILIy <Jl C.Jr.11 LI
Jl OjLil <3J io*>LaJl J j^j/l 'j* Jl
ij>Jlj J^Jl oj-j (j
(j><™Jl JSJj *y[ sijxJl jl Jl>cj
-G ibLvjl oJj i*>-ljj_5 JLsLjj Jj
’• Before Islam, women would wearanklets and stamp their feet so that the sound oftheir
anklets would draw the attention ofmen. (Editor)
'"'jr1’/'jr J—< (j) (VA)
^Nevertheless, (hisdoes
*110 way mean that a woman may
^k in the mosque. On the con-
jemay engage in discussion and
^arguments.
for example, al-Mujadilah
^mg‘the woman who disputed’).
Ke( Lord heard her from above the
^enheavens. She had come to com-
p'jmtotheProphet (||), the best ofHis
creationandthe head ofthe leaders and
ixi^
W :
e-LA»Jlj <Ll"SJ|x—j wiV"
jJl Jl Jcfj ^. [| 0^^'
JL J»l jjj |^JI
3^' jJIj
„ -t jJ
J (.oJoLjj J|oj-U?
Jl Js obL Jeb
JJ Jr4
scholars, concerning an incident that
hadtaken place between her husband
adher. Contrast this with Paul, whom
Christians consider to be an apostle.
Heordered women to remain silent in
the church, while Muhammad (^s),
tie apostle of truth and guidance, let
women dispute with him. In the case
ofthiswoman, her Lord (Ae) defended
her and supported her argument with
Qur'anic verses to be recited until the
endofthis world. Her case has been
immortalized, for even the name ofthis
chapter ofthe Qur'an (Chapter 58, al-
Mujadilah) reminds us ofher.
Returning to the topic at hand,
women have been instructed not to
walk with a swaying gait or to allow
their manner of walking to contain
anything which attracts men’s atten
tion towards them. Allah’s Messenger
saidaboutthese women who sway
whenthey walk and make men’s hearts
Minetowards them;
J ' * (J LJjcj 'J j
JjAj • J-J Jl>-Jl oLxjl ,.Z- al
J (J*- 5=5 *JJ' <J J
JL>-Jl «_ > J-s J_^s
cjljjli -US’
'hl j al>J| j>-Ju JjILjl ■A<

71
70 .-I Guide to Male-FemaleInteraction in Islam
«...and women who are dressed yet
appear naked, who are inclined to evil
and make others incline towards it
X X A" ®
lj£
The nii,r*
also Theirheads are like the humps of
camels leaning over to one side. They
willnotenterparadise,norwill they find
itsscent,eventhough its scent is surely
present at a distance ofsuch-and-such
and such-and-such.» (Muslim)
Jbittaof
^contact
Molars offiqh are in agreement
^prohibition of non-mahram
;^1(juals ofopposite sexes touching
oiher, although some have made
^exemption *'or shaking hands with
,0 men or women.
Womenshouldnotwearperfume or
clothing that draws attention for being
distinctively unique. In a hadith:
«Do not prevent Allah's slave-women
from going to Allah's mosques.»
(Muslim)
Abu Dawood added:
«Let them go out without wearing
perfume.))10
An-Nawawi said, “...meaning
unscented [and the hadiths on this
topic are many], and because if she
wears perfume and attractive, distinc
tive clothing, this invites corruption.”81
* .*«dJl JJl till Iji)
Jls "JIcbAL yj-jAjjl) jjli ^jl ilj
upl>llj] l*u)l^lajCU (_g)) jJl
u—Jj lil LjjMj S[o
A0.«±JJl Jl dBS uuLlJl 5ydJI
for seeking concessions in the
5;Iter of shaking hands to conform
.0the culture of one's country, this
spires some detail.
iiil^J y? J L'
; Jl coJSV-Jl iiUiJl
10 an-Nawawi decreed this addition to be reliable
!l an-Nawawi, al-Majmoo', 5:12.
in al-Majmoo‘, 5:12.
' 'S’ J yyj| 5iy| j (A 9
(AO)
First of all, without a doubt, one’s
location and the implications of con
formingtoorrejecting certain practices
mightaffectthe Islamic ruling. Waiving
theIslamic penal code can only be done
tagexceptional circumstances, such
stagtimesofwar. In the same vein
iswhat Imam Ibn Taymiyah86 (may
Allah have mercy on him) has men-
uoned about following the disbelievers
jl£Jl jl dUs S J
t* ‘C-‘j tk—jlJl IJus *hl I jl^
^Xc- ja A'aill <uu~j i jjjl
j ysldall jIaS3I wa)L>^
jldj (vd——-*Jl C)l jJ dJJ^ Ids J # -uJks
Shaykhul-lslam,Taqiy ud-Deen Ahmad ibn Mufti ‘Abdul-Haleem ibn al-Majd Abi al-
Barakat'Abdus-Salam ibnTaymiyah (661-728 AH) was a Hanbali jurist, a great refor-
®t,encyclopaedic researcher, prolific writer and jurist who was able to verify informa
nt. He participated in the jihad against the Mongols and also led an intellectual jihad
gainst innovation in the religion and corruption in politics. He was bom in Harran (in
Syria).
—l^tolSJI J -b>Jl y A~c- ^tuJl jql ji-kJl Jij '. y> (AV)
’■^‘jiiJluiJl kjixjl JajUl oX>wJl pl^ll iCoJ J iJujJI w JdduJl JlJLJ)
uni 1 jl^ J J, t IbL^Jl iJUh

12 4 Guideto Male-Female Interaction in Islam
intermsoftheiroutwardappearance in
their lands.
Hesaid: Today ifMuslimsare in the
abode ofwar, or in the abode ofdisbe
lieverswhoarenon-combatants [that is,
the abode oftreaty], they are not com
manded to contradict the disbelievers
in their outward appearance, since that
wouldbnngthemharm. Rather, it might
be preferable or obligatory to conform
sometimes in outward appearance if
therewould bea religious benefit in that,
in terms ofcalling the people to Islam
or seeing their affairs from the inside
in order to inform the Muslims about
that [in the abode ofwar], to prevent
them from harming the Muslims, or
anything ofthe sort from among pious
objectives.8*
IjyL jb jl
■dp U ^ftllaJl <5J^Jl idllStdlj
a? j,. jîJi
^QiJl LiLs-l (jl wdp
p+j*'3 j* dUS JL 131
r*/' £Al»Nlj jedJl ^1
jl dUjj ^y~<d~~dl jL>-jl
Xo’lioJl dlli <sJl
A,.«dJUJl
The ruli"Zon "
,arSoffiqhhave agreed that
(«r e accountable for the rites
'Actions of Islam in any loca-
s^ptincaseswhere there are dif-
? 1 e, concerning some transactions,
■'^notour concern here.
^ndly.ifthe intention is to apply
iV. culture to that of the Muslims,
(here is nothing more obviously
,dpt than this point of view. If the
.SBt is to attach little importance to
•(ijuewithnon-Muslims, this is also
conupt. However, if what is intended
,tomake certain exceptions to avoid
embarrassment should a Muslim
tcapproached for a handshake, then
perhaps the matter is less serious, for
iefollowing reasons:
LUu
1^ 4^1^’
u> <Ji Jy <-* *
i^Ûl jlS jl J' '4*
Ju-lii c dXb
£jJ jJl J-xxs (jl Jr^-' ^'^2
JjJLs i4jx31.,<3qI1_> LI I-3! !■*
^>L-jU JJJSj (.(j^jbl La
Itmustbe notedthatthewordsofthe
Shaykh ofIslam do not sanction aban
doning obligations or doing anything
prohibited. The fact that one has relo
catedto anothercountry isnoexcuse to
start committing sins, indulge in pro
hibited acts orneglectreligious injunc-
'J pjd^ll^cd jjSLJI J
iCjUyvjl J*J jl CjL>IjJl iljx
jL «.jdl byes 3)1 M jldll j-ajj
JajjiJlj oLy>tdlj ASjL»
j4 djU>-l_jJl_j si
Thereisno doubtthat the strength of
ferulingdepends on the weight of the
nidence, in terms of authenticity and
Wiiial implications. Concerning the
::ohibition of shaking hands with the
cppositegender,the Prophet (said:
o<11—**
<L~>- Jj-^1
tions and obligations, thus combining oJb&l U
migrationaway from the lands ofIslam »
with greater sins which will necessar- ‘■'-6^' <3] d/“
ily take one further away from Allah JS ^lyb _ _ J'
^1 fjL->l
88 Ahmad ibn 'Abdul-Haleem Ibn Taymiyah, Iqtida as-Sirat al-Mustaqeem Mukha-
lafah As-habal-Jaheem, ed. Muhammad Hamid al-Fiqi (Cairo: Matba'at as-Sunnat
al-Muhammadiyah, 1950), 176-177.
'Indeed, I do not shake hands with
wntuj)’0
This does not reach the level of
Inhibition.The most it can indicate is
improbably falls somewhere among
^categories: prohibited, disliked
ânother layer that is between dis
band merely permissible (so that
S ^1“ a! pI>- A^sk.xaa.11 >>^
aAp-J p-J I S J "e-L-jl
(jt* jLxC?-'J 1 oJt-Lu _a
<—Jjil AaIjSaJI ^1 jAj CoJixJlj A_#> J
j>- Jb>J <j|
jl jki (. j^- j pL_J|
1^3 aS Jj
•AÎjSjl Ayi-Xdlj y>cL j
K -----------
“■Tabarani inal-Mu'jam ul-Kabeer, 24/342; authenticated in Saheeh al-Jami ‘ 8054

75
74 1 Guideto Male-Female Interaction in Islam
even ifit is not clear that the action is
disliked, a person with a strong com
mitment to religion and a high level of
integritywouldchoosenottodo it). It is
closertobeingdisliked,though,because
this situation requiredthe Prophet (g)
to take the pledge of allegiance from
women and not put them in an embar
rassing position. Thus his act (of not
shaking hands with women) was not
simply out ofa desire to preserve the
highest level ofintegrity, therefore, the
ruling falls somewhere between being
disliked and being prohibited. What is
certain is that it is at least disliked.
^something that is prohibited
j-fbrits essence. Jj
The Prophet (^) also said: j-L j cA 11: '
"That a man be speared through the J
headwithan ironneedlewouldbebetter
than for him to touch a woman who is ‘
notpermissible for ,^>J| J JUcU
The word that is translated here as
âgreement of our jurists on the
înon ofmen shaking hands with
rfonien andvice versa is enough
J.t0refrain from this act which is,
doubt, not a practice of the
gims,andwhich does open the door
(0greater evils. Muslims must not be
^jrsttoextendtheirhand. They must
lôsearoundthem—their neighbors
orco-workers—know that they do not
rhakehandswith members ofthe oppo-
stesex.However, ifthey were to shake
tadsonrareoccasions when someone
anatesahandshake, in order to avoid
somesortofsignificant embarrassment,
whopethat they would be forgiven.
y
y
y
^-1yJl
‘touch’isahomonym, havingmore than
one meaning. In Sharia terminology, it
is mostfrequentlyusedtoreferto sexual
intercourse.
ing;how to foster a suit
ableenvironment in the
mosques
Theprohibitionofshakinghandswith
the opposite gender falls into the cate
gory ofprohibitingthemeansleadingto
theharam;itisnot.in itsessence,haram.
Something that is prohibitedbecause it
may lead to a major sin is less evil in
ul> jl
JjL>Jl olocXstfUudl Jj _jl
.X^lLjl oko jji
J J-***j 3 j
Jajj '' Jj Jail JAtoxA j a.
jJ _J o'ykc-i tf- v*~ - > Jc>-
” Reportedby at-Tabaram,al-Bayhaqi andothers.Authenticated by ai-Albani in Muham-
madkasirud-Deenal-Albam.Silsilatal-Ahddeeth as-Saheehah (Riyadh: Maktabat al-
Ma'arif, 1995),226.
•X X A a)_ LJl (AX')
Wedby AbuDawood; the hadith, even if ithas its criticism, has been strengthened
b fee precedingft, as weh as by the basic principles of Sharia.
1 .Jdjs

76 ,4 Guide to Male-FemaleInteraction in Islam
aforementioned narration of 'A'ishah
($■) about when she retrained front
kissing the black stone, in which we
find that "...when they wanted to enter
the House, they used to stand (wait for
a while) until the men had come out..."
Lowering the gaze
The Most High has said:
^Tell the believing men to reduce
[some] oftheir vision and guard their
private parts. That is purer for them.
Indeed. Allah is Acquainted with what
they do. And tell the believing women
to reduce [some] of their vision and
guard theirprivate parts...p (Qur'an
24:30-31)
’.JÎIaj (Jis
|ic of Islam is modesty.w
t^by,bn Majah wit11 a reâ’
narrators)
'rom ^’s *'iat
11 ^ld refrain from indecent and
■'^speech. They should also avoid
' ,andjoking together, for Satan
j.e(closerto their hearts than when
-jinthis state in informal mixed
'^.This point is usually coun-
«*''■.
^viththe following report:
lie Prophet (^) joked with a
,JIBan about her husband, saying
Riding to his biographers): Your
.jandisthe one whose eyes are whitejyilUWiuvvuv 11VJ VJ
womanly meaning blinded by cata-
rtotathe meant the normal white of
The ruling on ikhtilat (intermixing)
JJj
'o'/' M jy-J' <4 J?
“V C-jJoJlj ctt(jJ>L; P jjl
CaL>-Î1 >*-" 0
oAA £J> 4Jl (JL>- (_j—(jla
CjLXjsJIj (JljjlJl olj_oJl
Îj *>j cJj><jJ| Lal .^jUjJlj c_*JL=»-l.ATlj
J Ji J, cl^jUa
y-j aLi
• o
Thus, no one should look at the
‘awrah ofanother, look with desire, or
repeat a coincidental glance, without
need.
□IS tl_^ ojy. *4
'ill jl klJUi
Bt)'e).
There is disagreement over this
tsdith, as al-‘lraqi mentioned in his
»andannotation ofIhya' ‘Uloorn
iMken.Even ifone supposes it to be
4thesituationofthe Prophet (^fe)
joking around
■■■■•JI <. .*.4
All Muslim parents should raise their
sons and daughters to be modest, for
that is the signature characteristic of
Islam. Allah’s Messenger (j|) said:
«Verily, every religion has its signa
ture characteristic, and the signature
IJ——J jl ^4—q
'•lthlhiswoman is in no way similar to
!Wdgirls getting together to laugh
^jokearound. As for elderly women,
’9e is nothing wrong with speaking
Statinjest. On the contrary, it may
•f'M' ji> pLji
jp oej jkl •)!» 4)1Jj J(3
"V W '“.tdi^ji jU
'^recommended in certain situa-
fact,Allah’sMessenger himself
- a'sodidso, and itwas only a result
Soodmanners and humility.

Lowering the gaze
Thus, no one should look at the
‘awrah ofanother, look with desire, or
repeat a coincidental glance, without
need.
All Muslim parents should raise their
sons and daughters to be modest, for
that is the signature characteristic of
Islam. Allah’s Messenger (<$?) said:
«Verily, every religion has its signa
ture characteristic, and the signature
joking around
aforementioned narration of ‘A 'ishali
(i$) about when she refrained from
kissing the black stone, in which we
find that “...when they wanted to enter
the House, they used to stand (wait for
a while) until the men had come out...”
76 A Guide to Male-Female Interaction jn /s/am
y^zJl • .
‘ jl
The Most High has said:
({Tell the believing men to reduce
[some] of their vision and guard their r 1 "r-f-
private parts. That is purer for them. A
Indeed, Allah is Acquainted with what dfd Oh
they do. And tell the believing women [y, ■
to reduce [some] of their vision and ’ *
guard their private parts...b (Qur 'an
24:30-31)
The ruling on ikhtilat (intermixing)
M characteristic of Islam is modesty.»
(Recorded by Ibn Majah with a relia
ble chain ofnarrators)
It follows from this hadith that
( they should refrain from indecent and
/obscene speech. They should also avoid
laughing andjoking together, for Satan
isnevercloser to their hearts than when
theyare in this state in informal mixed
gatherings. This point is usually coun
tered with the following report:
The Prophet (^) joked with a
i woman about her husband, saying
I (according to his biographers): Your
I husband is the one whose eyes are white
■ (customarily meaning blinded by cata-
i rads, but he meant the normal white of
/ the eye).
There is disagreement over this
hadith, as al-‘Iraqi mentioned in his
revision and annotation ofIhya ’ ‘Uloom
ad-Deen. Even ifone supposes it to be
sound, the situation ofthe Prophet (^)
with this woman is in no way similar to
boys andgirls getting together to laugh
andjoke around. As for elderly women,
there is nothing wrong with speaking
to them injest. On the contrary, it may
even be recommended in certain situa-
’totts. In fact, Allah’s Messenger himself
also did so, and it was only a result
LoJ cl
dlb" l_r~~L>l
sW _jdl J] JLs Ob
: LgJ JL& <.
°Lo-s'
0_lA Jl=~ OjJ
OUxaJI ^^^Jl
cr" XJ cJI L> t.LoxJIj I. a-1 1
aJ J,
4 <JJ| j j 4 <_J |
. I a_> 9 I •
^'sgood manners and humility.

Minding the principle of
women abiding in their
homes and that their
homes need them
Us
It is permissible for a woman to leave
her home to study, work or fulfill other
needs, as per the following hadith:
«When the maternal aunt of Jabir
(may Allah be pleased with them) was
divorced, and she wanted to leave her
home to attend to her palm trees, a man
reprimanded her for going out during
herwaiting period.
She went to the Prophet (^g),
who told her: No, attend to your date
palms (it said pick, and she was most
likely going to observe the picking),
for perhaps you will give charity or do
something good.w (Muslim)
UljjJJ jl ol^JJ
Jli -lib
cUlU -bj
Jp
•
" i • isa>
ifshe were to pray all five prayers at
,1,5mosque, what would remain of the
following saying ofAllah?
^nd abide in your houses... b (Qm'af1
JHJ)
Moreover, ifshe is a mother, would
she leave her children five times a
day without supervision? Indeed, the
warningofscholars such as Imam Malik
(mayAllah have mercy on him) regard
ingfrequenting the mosque is important
and beneficial; it should not be ignored
oroverlooked.
„ ikhliM (intermixing)
The ruling °
Jjl
Oy~> JT
j|
However, even if women are per
mitted to go outside the home to work,
fulfill their needs, or visit the mosque,
we should not be neglectful of the
default instruction of remaining at
home. The hadith specifying that it is
better for a woman to pray inside her
home also issues a warning to women
not to come and go frequently, visit
ing one place after another as some
women do. This would not allow her
to take care ofthe house. For instance,
oljJJ jlj
•j'îll Lu jl Ju tj>LJl
uJl oljxjl o*>L? Jj
(J*A) J i_jIajJlj JJ-jJlj
LU (,oL>J| <Ub)iu.L."
jl c~Jl <LpIJ
iÎjG J(JjJl LJ j
Women working outside the home
should not be regarded as the norm,
even if it is permissible. Making
workingwomen the norm in households
in the West has led to enormous draw
backs, from a rise in the divorce rate to
thedisintegration ofthe family. Neglect
ofchildren is another consequence that
has emerged, subjecting many of the
youngones to psychological and behav
ioral disorders in addition to obstruct
ing their learning process. In fact, the
issuehas even contributed to the spread
ofmedical conditions such as obesity,
heart disease and high blood pressure,
resulting from massive changes in the
types offood eaten and from a reliance
on fast food.
J-^Sfl 5JJ1 j|
Sl^JI -liJj clj5l>~ olS- <jlj
_ul^ Jl J J^S/I
jKudlj (j*)UJl Lbl*
j—
JSl! J .^yJjJl
Jj, ^J|
jJÎ jdl 4>jUl jJl
c_jL>-jj| J^. y
Inthe same vein, even a woman who
works in the field of da ‘wah (teaching
ol^J| tJUJl ^3

about and calling to Islam) should not
neglect the rights of her house, her
husband and her children, especially
the young ones, despite the intensity' of
the Ummah's need for her. We hope that
her husband will receive a share of the
reward ifhe supports her.
What we have said here is not only
according to Sharia; it is also in line
with reason and intuitive knowledge.
Retails on
intermixing
.0J Jm’
Retailed clarification on the issue of
intermixing must be derived from a fair,
impartial and thorough study ofthe evi
dence. This must be considered in total
itywheneverpossible, without neglect
ingany aspect and without deriving an
arbitrary or domineering interpretation
ofit.
c-lsMot'yi Lol
c p.|I U <2) I t .
L»—•LgJ Lo-gJ $ aJ
It appears to me — as I have said
previously — that the ruling on the
intermixing ofmen and women differs
according to the age of the men and
women involved, the type of situa
tion, the nature of the interaction and
the degree ofnecessity. The following
are the details and explanations in that
regard:
(*^ d' - Jr-
<—c-L-JL Jl>-^J|
<JL>-^J| 4o |
aa-LxJIj ; L, L
••^US
Age
seems that there is some relaxa-
,,on in the matter of intermixing with
advancing age of those involved,
even if the woman is not post-meno-
fausa<. There is an undeniable differ-
e"Ce between a sixteen year old and a
a(jy ^rold. As a woman reaches an
ncec* age, becoming less interested

A guide to male female interaction in islam by dr hatem al haj

A guide to male female interaction in islam by dr hatem al haj

Recommended

Recommended

More Related Content

What's hot

What's hot (17)

Similar to A guide to male female interaction in islam by dr hatem al haj

Similar to A guide to male female interaction in islam by dr hatem al haj (20)

More from docsforu

More from docsforu (20)

Recently uploaded

Recently uploaded (20)

A guide to male female interaction in islam by dr hatem al haj