12 secrets for a happier life book

Mind Connections
16
My 12 Secrets
to Happiness
SIMPLE SOLUTIONS TO CREATE
HAPPINESS IN YOUR LIFE DAY TO
DAY
Jonathan Hilton

www.Jonathanhilton.com
2 | P a g e
MY 12 SECRETS TO
HAPPINESS!
SIMPLE SOLUTIONS TO CREATE HAPPINESS
IN YOUR LIFE DAY TO DAY
JONATHAN HILTON
Copyright © 2016 by Jonathan Hilton. All
Right Reserved.
No part of this publication may be reproduced,
distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any
means, including photocopying, recording, or other
electronic or mechanical methods, or by any
information storage and retrieval system without
the prior written permission of the publisher,
except in the case of very brief quotations
embodied in critical reviews and certain other
noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.
Dedication
This book is dedicated to all the people who
have had faith in me throughout my life. I
have learned the lessons and am fortunate to
share them.

3 | P a g e

4 | P a g e
Contents
Why I Wrote This.......................................................................................5
~Secret 1~............................................................................................8
~Secret 2 ~ .......................................................................................12
~Secret 3~.........................................................................................17
~Secret 4~.........................................................................................22
~Secret 5 ~ .......................................................................................27
~Secret 6~.........................................................................................32
~Secret 7~.........................................................................................38
~Secret 8~.........................................................................................44
~Secret 9~.........................................................................................49
~Secret 10~ ........................................................................................55
~Secret 11 ~....................................................................................58
~Secret 12~......................................................................................64
Final Thoughts................................................................................69
Follow me:..........................................................................................70
About The Author...................................................................................71

5 | P a g e
WHY I WROTE THIS
A note from the Author
It never ceases to amaze me that so many people
are, for the most part, unhappy. They aren’t happy with
the amount of money they make, the time they spend
with their family, the time they have to themselves,
their jobs, where they live, who their friends are, their
past or the prospects of their future. I was once one of
the people who trudged unhappily from one day to the
next. It was my unhappiness that provided the
momentum for me to begin to seek a more satisfying
existence. I wanted to be happier. How to accomplish
this was a mystery. There was not a simple model to
follow.
For much of my life I blindly believed the things that I
was taught by family, teachers, religion and the
mainstream media to tell me what was true and what
was not. The collective story that society teaches
controlled my life and I followed the path laid out for
me. I went to college, had fun, graduated, and started a
career that should have been meaningful. According to
all that I had been taught, I should have been happy.
Yet as the years went past, it became clearer and
clearer that I was not feeling the way I should. I was
following the plan, but it was providing me with income,
friends, activities, and a life that should have been most
satisfying, but I became more and more aware that I
was not enjoying my life on any significant level. I was
becoming more and more unhappy.

6 | P a g e
I had lost focus on the things that should have mattered
in life and started to spend time trying to feel better by
filling my life with things, shallow activities, and
unhealthy intimate relationships. After awhile I was
simply trying to drown out the noise in my head and my
heart that I was unhappy and unfulfilled in my life and
needed to change. What these changes would look like,
I didn’t have a clue, but I was well aware that it was
time to get busy with living and to do the things I had to
do to change.
Unfortunately, at the time, I didn’t have a plan to follow.
I didn’t know anyone who could guide me. I was starting
from scratch and making it up as I went. The lessons I
learned were all valuable to me and I feel they can be
helpful to others. I would like to help other people learn
these lessons without having to experience the sharp
pain that mistakes can bring. It was then that I started
to realize the simple truth.
Happiness is a state of mind which we have the
power to control, and so whether we are
ultimately happy or unhappy it is our own
thoughts that determine this.
Much of the content of this book is based on my own life
and understanding of the things I have experienced in
life that led me understand and be happier. Not
everything you read here is guaranteed to change your
life but I will guarantee that if you are searching with a
true heart and are willing to look at your life honestly
and openly, you will find something of value. I hope

7 | P a g e
that reading this has helped you in the smallest of ways.
Please enjoy My 12 Secrets to Happiness.

8 | P a g e
~SECRET 1~
My 12 Secrets to Happiness
Accept Responsibility,
Avoid Excuses
“In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape
ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the
choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.”
― Eleanor Roosevelt
One of the behaviors guaranteed to rob you of
happiness in life is feeling sorry for yourself. When
things go wrong, as they inevitably will on occasion,
there are several choices that you can make which will
determine your enjoyment level of your life. One choice
is to play the victim and feel sorry for yourself and the
circumstances that you are in. We have all done it
because it can feel good to blame all of our problems on
someone or something else out of our control. Our
thoughts tell us that we would be doing just fine if it
wasn’t for the interference of these other things: our
boss, coworkers, or the economy. The second choice is
to accept responsibility for all of the things that you
experience. Things don’t always work out but looking for
choices that we made, which could have been different
is a good start. Being happy isn’t hard if you just stop
feeling sorry for yourself. This means that you will
accept responsibility for where you are in life, your

9 | P a g e
choices and what you are experiencing right now in your
reality.
Self-pity is the type of emotion that taps into your core
and takes all power away from you. When you point the
finger at someone or something outside of yourself for
what you are experiencing then you have lost all of your
power to change it. This is true when you make any type
of excuse for anything. That power always exists in you,
with your ability to make choices about everything. Life
will occasionally deal you a significant setback. Often
these circumstances are completely out of our control.
What is totally in our control is how we react to any
situation. This personal responsibility is going to provide
us with the power to control our lives and what happens
in it.
You can choose to bury your head in the sand, cry or
give up if you want to. However, the opposite of these
choices is also always available to you at any time.
Accepting responsibility can be a difficult thing,
especially when there are mitigating circumstances that
might be out of your control. Feeling sorry for yourself
about your circumstances or someone’s poor behavior
toward you is only going to hold you back and not allow
you to understand where you need to go in order to
make your experience better. It will be difficult to be
happy in life without throwing out the victim mentality.
But the bottom line in life is that if you spend your time
pointing the finger at other people, situations or God for
your misery, then you are going to spend a lot of time
feeling like a victim and not being happy.

10 | P a g e
Never Ask, “Why Me?”
Bad things are inevitably going to happen. Sometimes
they come in such a volume that we feel overwhelmed
and start to ask, “Why me?” This is the moment that
you start to lose control of your happiness. It is much
better to ask yourself, “How can I solve this problem?”
Or even better, “What is potentially good about this
situation?” Either of these questions will allow your
energy to become more positive and that energy will
lead to positive solutions. All challenges come with a
built-in opportunity to learn something new, grow in a
new direction, or to become a better person. Without
challenges people, atrophy and slowly fade away.
Do away with excuse making in all aspects of your life
because excuses do absolutely no good. Do they take
away the event? Can they change the past? Do they
alter reality in any way? No! Their only function is to
appease someone else about your behavior and choices.
When things don’t work out the way you want, accept
responsibility and the positive attributes of a situation
will naturally enter into your life.
Happiness is a result of carrying a sense of self-
discipline and responsibility for ourselves and the things
we do. Don’t rob yourself of happiness and the ability to
make choices by making excuses. Face your challenges
with honesty and integrity. The results will surprise and
most often amaze you. Fear is the only reason that
people make plausible excuses, to justify poor attitude,
behavior or performance. It wasn’t that I was
inadequate it was the other people, weather, act of God,

11 | P a g e
etc. You are better than that, and your life will reflect it
when you accept responsibility for your situation.
“Attack the evil that is within yourself, rather than
attacking the evil that is in others.”
― Confucius
“If you could kick the person in the pants
responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't
sit for a month.”
― Theodore Roosevelt
Visit www.jonathanilton.com

12 | P a g e
~SECRET 2 ~
Choose Your Words
Wisely
“It is just as cowardly to judge an absent person
as it is wicked to strike a defenseless one. Only
the ignorant and narrow-minded gossip, for they
speak of persons instead of things.”
~Lawrence G. Lovasik~
The words you choose to speak are going to have an
impact on the world. It seems that people speak a lot
without any real thought for the impact or consequences
of their words. However, each and every word we utter
has an energy to it, which radiates from us and within
us long after the words are spoken. If you are not
mindful of what you speak then your negative words can
haunt you and those you speak to for a long period of
time. Watching the words you speak and the thoughts
behind them will make you happier.
The Negative Things to Avoid
Spreading gossip and talking about others negatively is
one of the most negative languages a person can use.
Gossip has the power to draw almost anyone in and
drag them down as well. This is an activity that causes

13 | P a g e
people to vibrate on a low level and that will lead to
unhappiness. Gossip is attractive because it allows
people to feel included in a secret group of thoughts that
only a select number are aware of. It allows the
opportunity to judge someone, their actions and their
lives without knowing anything as a fact. Even if you
know the fact, it doesn’t do you any good to judge
someone else. All worry should be directed within. The
choice to gossip will bring negative energy into your life,
in fact, there is nothing good that can come from
practicing this.
One of the main reasons that we gossip though is to
make ourselves feel better about our own situation by
demeaning the choices, actions, and circumstances
someone else is experiencing. Rather than be accepting
and understanding, you pile on and point out the
perceived misfortunes to direct attention away from
your own problems. Even if the facts you speak are
100% true, it isn’t any business of yours. We are all
doing the best we can to get through life, don’t make it
harder on others by talking about them behind their
backs when they are not present. If you have an issue
with someone, speak to them and address it.
Negativity sticks with you and will sap you of happiness.
If you are speaking with and spend time with people
who thrive on gossip, guess who they are talking about
the moment you are not around? That is right you. Each
time you speak negatively about someone else’s life,
you are diminishing your own. Most importantly, you
destroy your integrity and lessen your overall positive

14 | P a g e
impact on people. All that you say, do and think is
going to affect all the people that you come in contact
with.
Our behavior tells the world what we are and our
thoughts define and accentuate that. When you
participate in negative talk like this, then your life will be
decidedly negative and it is difficult to experience
happiness when we are constantly looking at and talking
about the negativity of others. The person we are really
having a problem with is ourselves.
How to speak positively
The great thing is that we all have a choice about the
way that we speak and the things that we speak about.
It starts by paying attention and making good choices.
The simple way to manage your words is to be
consciously aware of all the words that you use and
what energy they bring with them.
Learn to T.H.I.N.K. about what you are going to say,
this little acronym will allow you to look at all of the
things you say to yourself and others. Use this before
you say anything about anything and it will allow you to
speak more positively about yourself and others which
will make your energy and life more positive.
T- Is it true? That is a very important factor in speaking
about you or someone else. If it isn’t true, don’t say it.
Be impeccable with your word.

15 | P a g e
H- Is it helpful? If you are about to say something that
is not helpful, to yourself or someone else, then make
the choice to not say it.
I – Does it Inspire confidence? If you are about to say
something that does not inspire confidence in yourself or
others, then you should choose not to say it.
N – Is it Necessary? This is important to consider as we
speak, often the answer is no, a thought is not worth
expressing through your words.
K – Is it Kind? One of the most important considerations
that we should consider when we are looking at the way
we speak about others and ourselves. Speaking with
kindness is positive and builds positive energy around
yourself and others.
By following this simple guide and evaluating your
thoughts and being mindful of the words that you speak,
you can make your life and the lives of those around you
exponentially happier.
Our words stick with people each and every day. They
can sink into someone’s mind and motivate them to do
better, be more honest, find the right path or
accomplish new and better goals. Or if they are negative
they might just start a limiting belief in someone else
that will lessen the ability of another to be all that they
can be. Notice your words and speak only those
messages you want to last for eternity.

16 | P a g e
“Be Impeccable With Your Word. Speak with
integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the
word to speak against yourself or to gossip about
others. Use the power of your word in the
direction of truth and love.”
~Don Miguel Ruiz~

17 | P a g e
~SECRET 3~
Be Physically Fit
“If we could give every individual the right amount
of nourishment and exercise, not too little and not
too much, we would have found the safest way to
health.”
~Hippocrates~
Feeling happy is a reflection of how you feel about
yourself overall. Physical fitness is a part of life that is
neglected by many as they face the business of life.
Work, family matters, and leisure activities can prioritize
our time and make neglecting our physical fitness easy.
We only have one body we are moving through life with
and the manner that we treat it with will determine the
type of trip we are taking. It can be very difficult to be
happy when we are experiencing physical pain and limits
because our body is too heavy for our frame, or our
organs are not functioning properly because of our
unhealthy habits. There is no debating the fact that
more exercise will improve our health, our mood and our
level of happiness in life. There is a direct ratio between
the amount of exercise we participate in and the level of
enjoyment we have in life. It is clinically proven that

18 | P a g e
getting regular exercise can provide positive energy to
your life. Exercise will make a person feel happier about
themselves and the energy they bring to life.
Weight Loss, Of Course
Of course, losing weight will make you happier. We live
in a society that influences people to eat an unhealthy
amount of sugar and processed foods. Besides eating
better, a regular exercise routine will allow a person to
lose weight. Being at a more optimal weight increases
energy, flexibility, ambition and of course self-esteem.
Our bodies were not designed to carry around an
unlimited amount of extra weight and when your body is
happy, you are happier as well. This is not a judgment
of anybody. There is no one body type that a healthy
person has. However, the activities that a person
regularly takes advantage of will determine this. All
people have the ability to choose to be healthier. There
is a two-part formula that will allow you to get your
weight to a better level. First, increase physical activity
each day. It doesn’t have to include a 10-mile run, but
adding a little walking to your day can be an extremely
positive influence on your health. Simple, consistent
exercise will lead to weight loss. Secondly, watch what
you eat. It is well known that highly processed foods
that contained sugar are going to be less healthy than
those that are natural and organic. It doesn’t mean that
you can’t eat any sugar, but it does mean that you
should cut down.
Your Health is Better

19 | P a g e
Another epidemic in our society is poor heart health.
This can also be alleviated by instituting a regular
exercise routine and a better diet. As you increase your
cardiovascular work each day, you increase your heart
health, lower high blood pressure and lowers
cholesterol. All of these conditions will combine to allow
you to not only live longer but to live better. It is easier
to be happy when you know you are making choices
that are positive for your health. There is a wide range
of illnesses that can become much less likely for you to
experience with a little exercise: stroke, type 2 diabetes,
depression, metabolic syndrome, some types of cancer,
and arthritis. All of this should be motivation enough to
make some positive lifestyle changes. There is only one
trip around this ride called life and when it ends, it is all
over. Make it as enjoyable as possible with positive
health choices.
Feeling unhappy? Then some basic exercise may be just
what you need in order to improve your mood. Stress
can be a killer for your health and your mood, and
exercise has long been known as a very effective stress
reliever. You don’t have to run a marathon, but a brisk
30-minute walk can help get your endorphins flowing
and they are the chemical that is released into the brain
and makes you feel good. Once released, not only will
you feel in a better mood, but you will also feel much
more relaxed. Over a long period of time, you may
develop higher self-esteem about your appearance from
regular exercise and that, of course, will boost your
mood. Exercise leads to happiness.

20 | P a g e
Do you find it difficult to find the motivation to complete
household chores, or to work on that project with your
kids? Regular exercise can be just what you need, a
body in motion tends to stay in motion, and sitting
around just watching television isn’t the same option
when your heart and lungs are operating at peak
capacity. It will be much easier to be more physical and
your energy level will rise and of course, you will be
happier.
Sleeping problems plague many people but it is difficult
to be at your best when there is never enough time to
recharge your battery. Getting regular exercise can
make sleeping through the night easier and the sleep
you get is deeper and extremely rejuvenating. Even the
effects of sleep apnea can be lessened by regular
exercise. To be happy, your body needs enough sleep to
allow it to heal, rest and recuperate both physically and
mentally for the new challenges ahead. Exercise helps
you sleep more soundly and get greater benefits from
the process.
If you are just not feeling as great about physical
intimacy, then regular exercise just might be the cure.
You will feel better about your appearance and feel more
desirable to your significant other. You will also develop
more stamina and of course, all of this type of thing is
going to increase your level of happiness. It is also
proven that increased physical activity leads to a more
sexual arousal in women. Men also benefit significantly
especially decreasing the effects of erectile dysfunction.

21 | P a g e
All of these factors combine to make you a whole lot
happier.
Have Some Fun
Believe it or not, exercise can be fun and can improve
your social life. It doesn’t matter if you go to a gym or
head out running on the road by yourself, the time you
spend exercising can be some of the most positive times
during your day. It is your time to mentally unwind,
relax and rejuvenate your thoughts and feelings about
life. Having this time to yourself is fantastic and allows
your emotions to rebound as well, making happiness
increase. Exercise can improve your social life. It is easy
to make connections with people who share a love of
yoga, lifting, running, or any other exercise you choose
to partake in.
These are just some of the positive benefits of
exercise that will increase the happiness in your life.
Find an exercise that you love doing and then do that in
the way that you enjoy. If you develop a passion for
what you do and love doing it, there will be very few
motivation problems of going to the gym or getting out
on that run. If you are physically capable, then start
today. Exercise and be happier.
“If you always put limits on everything you do,
physical or anything else, it will spread into your
work and into your life. There are no limits.
There are only plateaus, and you must not stay
there, you must go beyond them.”
~Bruce Lee~

22 | P a g e
~SECRET 4~
BE Fearless
“The eagle has no fear of adversity. We need
to be like the eagle and have a fearless spirit
of a conqueror!” ~ Joyce Meyer
All situations in life can be broken down into a simple
choice between love and fear.
Will you think and act out of fear? Or will you think and
act out of love?
It makes sense then to imagine that when you choose
thoughts and actions of love you will be happy, and
thoughts of fear will make you unhappy.
I believe that EVERYTHING you think will make a
difference in your life. I believe this because of a
lifetime of experience and entertaining the wrong types
of thoughts. I lived much of my life under the influence
of fear but have chosen to make a change and look at
things with thoughts of love. It has helped eradicated
moments of unhappiness from my life.
How You Think Leads to How You Live
This is my basic belief that I have developed later in the
game of life. If you are thinking judgmental, mean,
sarcastic or hateful thoughts about other people or

23 | P a g e
groups of people, there is no doubt that you will
experience those things in your own life.
These are negative thoughts which lead to
unhappy experiences
If you choose to focus on accepting, kind and loving
thoughts then that is going to be the general experience
of your existence. How do I know? I used to think the
former and now focus on the later and although I am
the same person, the experience of life has been
completely different and much more positive and
enjoyable in all ways. Yes, Happier.
Fear is the chief motivation of those who are critical. A
person rejects any thought or action that will lead to
change or be different from comfortable beliefs long
held. Even if things are currently going badly, people
avoid change because the fear is that the changes might
make things even worse.
There is nothing wrong with experiencing fear itself
because fear is a natural emotion that everyone

24 | P a g e
experiences but if you focus on that and allow it to move
your actions from day-to-day, your experience will
suffer. We all face fear every day, but how you choose
to deal with it, fear or love is important to our
enjoyment of life. Each moment comes down to
this simple choice between fear and love, the one you
choose is going to define the experience for you.
Change is Always Possible
The most daunting task for anyone to accomplish is
to change the way that you think. We have spent
a lifetime accumulating experiences which come
with mental programming which has managed to
keep us safe and alive. But to be happy, change
has to come.
Yet at some point even though we are safe and
alive, our life needs value. Once you start to
pursue happiness and caring, you start to notice
the fear-based thoughts that have been making
you unhappy. What is it that makes you hang your
head with worry? What makes you afraid to speak?
What makes you hide your individuality? What
makes you hide who you are? Fear alone does
this.
Fear that you won’t be accepted, or fear that someone is
going to take something from you that you love. Fear
that someone is going to harm you or those that you
care about. These fears are fed by the mainstream

25 | P a g e
media to gain ratings and Madison Avenue to earn
consumer dollars.
The reality is that fear is just a thought and an
illusionary thought at that. What you are afraid of is not
real, it is a thought and that is it. What if? What should?
What Might? Questions that provide these thoughts,
they are not real they don’t exist yet they provide very
real suffering for people.
There are many dangers in the world and those should
be avoided because they can hurt you, but fear of them
will only stop you from doing what you truly want to do.
Getting Out of Fear
Getting rid of fear in your thoughts is simple but it is not
easy. Stop thinking fearful things. Period!
Now that would be easy if we could control all of our
thoughts, but you really can’t. Thoughts pop into your
mind at a rapid pace, representing your lifetime of
experiences. Bias, prejudice, hatred, fear are all a part
of your experience and they are all associated with
people, places, and things. You can’t stop them from
slipping into your mind, but you can control how much
you pay attention to them. Simply noticing the
thoughts of fear as what they are, fake, surprisingly
releases you from their power. All of their power over
you comes from inside your head and your thoughts.
Let the negative go and replace them with something
more positive. It is important to remember that danger

26 | P a g e
and fear are not the same things. Danger is something
that can hurt you physically. Fear is the worry about
something hurting you. Danger is real, fear is not.
Replace thoughts of fear with thoughts of love
Once you recognize and admit what your fears are and
let them go, it is amazing how easily the good thoughts
and feelings flow. It feels better to be happy, it is
healthier to love and it is more enjoyable to live without
fear.
It takes some time to develop this skill and you have, to
be honest with yourself, but it can be accomplished by
anyone. Recognizing your own weaknesses can be
painful and difficult, but you have a simple choice here.
Keep living your life in fear and be unhappy or admit to
your negative thoughts and recognize that you have the
ability to just let them go and think in a healthier,
positive manner. Caring over callousness, kindness over
being mean, understanding over judgment. The choice is
up to you!
Visit Jonathan Hilton Mind Connections for more
thought provoking material.

27 | P a g e
~SECRET 5 ~
Practice Mindfulness
“The present moment is filled with joy and
happiness. If you are attentive, you will see it.”
― Thich Nhat Hanh,
Where do you spend most of your time during a day?
Many people are unhappy because they have a focus
that is not on what you are doing or where you are right
now. How is this possible? It is possible because people
are spending their thoughts reliving and idealizing their
past or worrying obsessively about their future. That
leaves no time to enjoy the present and that does not
make a person happy in the present. Practice
mindfulness and be appreciative of the awesome things
that are in your life at this very moment.
Living in the Past

28 | P a g e
Everyone looks to the past. It can be a very healthy
practice when it comes to evaluating lessons learned so
that you don’t repeat mistakes and repeat successful
habits. The past provides great lessons, but when you
idealize the experience of life in the past, it robs you of
the happiness of the present. Time has a way of
affecting your memory, the difficult, uncomfortable or
challenging things are forgotten and the positive things
in your memory are idealized. This works to make you
unhappy now because of how can this moment make
you happy if you are focused on an idealized past. This
moment is naturally going to pale in comparison to a
perfect, idealized past. You will be unhappy if you look
at your life this way. How could you not? You are
thinking of what you lack.
Worry for the future
People spend a lot of time also worrying about what
might happen in the future. It is good to plan and
prepare for the future. The unhappiness will come when
you are continually playing out doomsday scenarios in
your mind. These take up an awful lot of positive
energy and allow each and every negative possibility
come to light in your mind. People spend hours worrying
about things that never would happen, never could
happen, and never will happen. But what if they do?
Those types of thoughts are a waste of time. How many
great things in your life, right now are you ignoring
because you are worried about some future issue?
The future is going to come and with it bring its own list
of experiences that will color your life. There will be

29 | P a g e
victories, defeats, happiness, sadness, joy and sorrow
and worry about what shape they will take is a great
way to ruin absolutely everything in your life today.
When you think about it, all you really have and are
guaranteed is this moment, right now. Everything else is
a promise that can be taken away in a moment.
5 Steps to Mindfulness
1. Practice doing one thing at a time. In a world
that wants to create nothing but dedicated multi-
taskers, be different and focus on one thing at a
time, do it very well, enjoy it, then move on to
the next thing.
2. Don’t rush what you are doing. Almost as bad as
multitasking is rushing through one experience to
get to another. It is hard to savor the taste of the
moment if you are hurrying through it. Slow
down and enjoy what you are doing, it will enrich
your experience.
3. Make a schedule and stick to it. Making sure of
course that all of your tasks have the right
amount of time scheduled to do them well. This
will stop you from hurrying from one place to
another. If you can’t fit everything in doing this,
that tells you that doing less is an answer that
might work. Productivity should be measured in
quality and not with quantity.
4. Learn to practice some form of meditation. There
are no rules to follow, except to find a time
during the day when you are doing nothing at all
for at least 5 minutes. The benefits are well

30 | P a g e
documented, greater creativity, more focus, and
of course, you will be happier.
5. Slow down your activities. From eating to having
a conversation, slow down and get a chance to
savor the food or the company. Don’t spend the
time in a conversation thinking about someone
else, but focus on what is in front of you. One
thing at a time. Be mindful and you will enjoy it
more, each experience will have a new life and
texture to them.
Mindfulness is a way of life that will allow you to take
the same experiences you are having right now and
appreciating them more. That appreciation will allow
you to be happy about the same things that are in
your life.
A wise person once told me that you should find ten
minutes every day to practice meditation. If you
can’t fit in ten minutes then you need to do thirty.
Focus on your life, your friends, conversations, food,
thoughts, car rides, loved ones, all of the things that
fill your lives and they will be better experiences and
make you happier.
Visit Jonathan Hilton Mind Connections!!

31 | P a g e

32 | P a g e
~SECRET 6~
Practice Kindness
“A warm smile is the universal language of
kindness.”
~William Arthur Ward~
One of the simplest gifts we can give to others is the gift
of kindness. It cost no money to be kind, and it takes no
talent. In fact, all you have to possess, to practice
kindness, is a willing heart that undertakes the action
and is kind. Kindness makes the experience of all
people that experience it happier in life. There is
probably not a better method for improving a person’s
outlook on life than to treat them with a little kindness.
All people deserve your kindness, and like most things in
life, the more willingly this gift is given the more it is
given back. Be a giver of kindness today.
Kindness is Contagious
One of the great things to see is that one act of kindness
provides a happiness that will be shared with someone
else, one way or another. You can’t help it when
someone is kind to you, there is a feeling of warmth
inside that you want to share with someone else. And
most people do. There are people who practice random
acts of kindness and bring a light to the world. There are

33 | P a g e
also people who are just kind to others all of the time. It
must be a wonderful way to live!
We can only be responsible for our behavior and choices
and the example we set for other people to follow. Take
control of your actions today and practice kindness with
each interaction that comes your way. You will be
amazed at how much difference it will make in your life
and of course the lives of others that you come in
contact with during the day.
Unkind People Need This Experience the Most
It is important to practice kindness with those who are
unkind. They absolutely need it most. To be moving
through your life and to consciously be unkind to others,
there must have been some awful experiences in their
lives. Kindness can break through the darkness, and
bring light into those spaces where meanness and
desperation are currently residing.
Mean people, who do not practice kindness, have
probably forgotten how it feels when someone takes the
time to extend a kindness to them. Once they
experience kindness there is a chance that they will
develop a more positive outlook and perhaps begin to
practice kindness toward others. It will definitely
improve their level of happiness which will improve your
level of happiness as well. Again it is important to
stress that you can only be responsible for your actions.
Others are responsible for theirs, if they choose to be
mean, hateful, spiteful and unhappy, that is their choice.

34 | P a g e
Your choice is to not treat them like their condition is
permanent. Smother them with kindness that is all you
can do. Your choices and actions belong to you.
Five Reasons Kindness Makes You Happy
No matter where you are in the journey of life, there
are going to be opportunities today to practice kindness
of some sort, which will enhance someone’s experience
on this Earth in a positive way. If you need any
convincing that taking this action will improve things
than I wanted to provide you with 5 reasons that prove
kindness creates happiness and you can be the catalyst
for this today, right here and right now.
Kindness Can Change The World
How we see the world is unique to each of us. Kindness
allows us to share a positive view of others, simply and
easily. Simple acts of kindness show others that they
aren’t in this journey all alone. We are all in this
together. That understanding of connection that
kindness brings can allow someone having a bad day to
have a good day. One small act of kindness can lead to
another small act of kindness, which leads to another
and that chain reaction can change the world.
Kindness is Free
All people in the world can afford to practice kindness
because it is absolutely free. There is no limit on how
much you can show in a day either. It is truly limitless.
What kind of world would it be if everyone was looking

35 | P a g e
for ways to be kind all through every day? It would be a
much happier place. Think about that the next situation
that you find someone annoying you at work, home or
anywhere else. There is an opportunity for you to
practice kindness in thought and in action. Perhaps all
that annoying co-worker needs is a kind word from you
to turn their day around. The price is the same for
everyone, kindness is free and the results in smiles and
happiness are priceless.
Kindness is Contagious
Just as a small pebble can cause an avalanche on a
mountain side, one act of kindness can lead to
a significant change in the world. When you practice
your acts of kindness they may not seem all that great
to you. However, each action we take results in a
reaction somewhere. Just as a pebble thrown into a
small pond will result in ripples on the water, so does
your kindness influence life. When we put all of the
small acts of kindness together, then you can have a
significant change in the world. Each act, inspiring
another and then another until the world is covered in
kindness. It certainly beats the alternative. What a
happy place that would be to live.
Kindness Makes Us Happy
When you are kind to another person, it makes a
statement about who you are and what you stand for.
This statement is not only to the world but also to
yourself. There are enough things in the world today
designed to make us feel bad about who we are.
Practicing kindness lights a spark of happiness in your

36 | P a g e
soul and allows you to feel great about yourself. All
things which build self-esteem and create happiness in
life should be pursued. Kindness is one of these and
there is no downside. The only problem with kindness
lies in the hearts of those who choose to ignore it. Be
kind and be happy. There is also some scientific
evidence that proves that when you are kind, your brain
experiences a chemical reaction that makes you feel
better. True or not, there is no doubt that being the
reason that someone else smiles today is a good thing
and that can’t be debated. Kindness will make you feel
better.
Kindness Makes Us Easier To Live With
Is it easier to deal with someone who is difficult and
self-centered or someone who is looking to do things
that make your life better? Obviously, it is the latter and
kindness provides us with that opportunity all the time.
Our relationships will only benefit from the practice of
kindness. A supportive comment, a compliment,
understanding of a problem, or just a supportive hug
can change the energy of those you love and make your
relationships stronger. How many relationships could be
saved by the practicing more kindness? Putting the
needs of those you love as a priority and soothing them
with kind words and deeds could end many of the fights
and misunderstandings that end relationships today.
Kindness is never the wrong thing to do.

37 | P a g e
The bottom line is when you are looking for ways to be
kind to others and make their lives a little bit better, you
improve your own as well. This will change the
experience that you are having in life for the positive. It
really just involves making the happiness of others a
priority. Enjoy your day and make a point to create kind
experiences for others and for yourself.
Kindness is indeed awesome!
“For beautiful eyes, look for the good in
others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of
kindness; and for poise, walk with the
knowledge that you are never alone.”
~Audrey Hepburn~
“Kindness is the language which the deaf can
hear and the blind can see.”
~ Mark Twain~
Thank you for reading please visit Jonathan Hilton
Mind Connections

38 | P a g e
~SECRET 7~
Choosing Gratitude and
Appreciation
"Let us be grateful to people who make us happy;
they are the charming gardeners who make our
souls blossom." ~ Marcel Proust~
If you are not happy with your life experience, look to
add more gratitude and appreciation and the level of
happiness and appreciation in your experience will grow.
No matter what life brings you, everybody has the ability
to either be grateful and appreciative of the experience
or they can be angry and disillusioned by it. This choice
will bring the energy to your life. Positive or negative,
right or wrong your decision to be grateful or not will
directly affect the abundance you experience in your life.
Things Go Wrong Sometimes, Be Grateful
This is an easy idea to practice with when things are
going well. When you have plenty of money to do
whatever you want, all of those you love are healthy and
happy and the biggest decision that you need to make is
what form of entertainment is in store for your evening.
Of course, you can be grateful and appreciative of this
situation. Yet I know many people in just such a
predicament and there is very little gratitude or

39 | P a g e
appreciation expressed. Rather than being happy for
what they have, they perfect the art of feeling bad about
what they don’t have.
It seems like so many are focused on what they don’t
have rather than what they do have in their life.
They have a house, but the problems with that house
seem to stand out to them and they focus the lack
rather than the gift of a home. No wonder many are
unhappy.
When things are going badly, many people get
discouraged by the pain, trouble, worry or
inconvenience. It is hard to see the positive and be
grateful and appreciative when the cellar is flooded,
possessions are being ruined, things need to be moved,
and the plumber can’t come for two days. However,
there is always something to be grateful for. Appreciate
something that wasn’t ruined or lost. Appreciate that the
plumber will be coming and the problem will be solved.
Life sometimes makes it difficult to be appreciative, but
with practice, the positive can be seen if you choose to
look for it. No situation is inherently good or bad except
for the label that we decide to apply to it. That label
comes directly from our level of gratitude.
Appreciate the Good Things
Practicing gratitude is a decision that will allow your
outlook on life change. Be grateful for the things in life
you enjoy each day. They can be as small as a good cup

40 | P a g e
of coffee in the morning or as large as the country that
you live in. Everything that you are truly grateful for is
going to provide a positive energy in your life and allow
you to be open to more. Being appreciative for the
simple things in life is much easier when they are taken
away for even just a short time. For example, when
we lose power for a part of the day, we are lost. But
you sure as heck have an appreciation when the power
is back on.
There is a power that comes with expressing gratitude
for what you have. When you have heartfelt
appreciation for what you do have, I believe that it
opens the door for more of the same to show up in your
life. Be grateful for the comfort of life we are provided
each day. Enjoy the people who make your life the
wonder that it is each day. The family and friends who
provide the delightful flavor to your life.
Being grateful is always a choice to appreciate what life
brings you. Not for what it is, but for what it allows you
to be and feel. All events can be positive life altering
events if you choose to make them so.
The Reward of Gratitude
I have often considered being truly grateful is an
important step in bringing more of what you want in
your life into your life. Each and every day I am more
and more convinced this is true. Where your focus lies,
increases that element in your life. If you are focused
on lack then more lack is what you experience. If you
have a focus of thanks on what you have, more of that

41 | P a g e
will come to you as well. If you can develop the mindset
of gratitude, for each and every experience in your life,
you can’t help but to be happier about your life and
appreciate the blessings that come your way.
Developing a process of gratitude should be a vital focus
for each person who would like to have a happier life.
Decide on a way to build that consistent gratitude and
then turn it into a daily practice. By practicing this daily,
you will be aware of what is in your life and how really
grateful you should be for those blessings.
I always try to have my notebook with me, so when I
have a moment each morning I jot down my list of
things I am grateful for. I would suggest this for
everyone for three reasons.
1. Your focus on gratitude will bring more “good
stuff”, into your life.
2. It creates a positive mindset of abundance.
3. It makes you look for new things to be grateful
for in your day.
Gratitude Changes Things
Things can change quickly through gratitude because
often it is the focus that we need in order to help us gain
what we are looking for. Making a gratitude list will
become something real and powerful and create more
happiness. Being grateful makes you happy because it
allows an attitude that is accepting of new things
entering your life.

42 | P a g e
If you are lonely, look for the times when you don’t feel
too lonely during the day and be thankful for those. If
you are poor, be grateful for the things you do have, if
you are not feeling well, find the moments you don’t feel
as bad and be grateful for them. If you are particularly
down, find the little things around you all the time, the
weather, a smile from a stranger, flowers, an
unexpected fortunate turn of events. Whatever you
come in contact with, be grateful for it. A momentary
contemplation of thanks is all it takes.
The worst thing that will happen is you will feel better
about life. The best thing that will happen is that you
will open yourself up to more of the same kind of
positive experiences. It doesn’t really matter if you
believe what I am telling you or not. Just contemplate
what will happen if you don’t do anything different?
Nothing different will happen. If you are lonely, sick,
poor, or just generally unhappy, what do you have to
lose? Give it an honest attempt and see what it does in
your life. Start your gratitude journal today and honestly
see what it does for you. You will be happier with very
little effort.
"We can only be said to be alive in those
moments when our hearts are conscious of our
treasures."
~Thornton Wilder~

43 | P a g e
“As we express our gratitude, we must never
forget that the highest appreciation is not to
utter words, but to live by them.”
~John F. Kennedy ~
Please come visit Jonathan Hilton Mind Connections for
more thought provoking material

44 | P a g e
~SECRET 8~
Happiness Comes
From Forgiveness
“It's one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, to
forgive. Forgive everybody.” ~Maya Angelou
To live life is to be let down. Disappointment just seems
to come with the territory sometimes. Life gives us a
few simple choices, carry around the anger of being hurt
or to forgive and move on. Sometimes the actions are so
painful that it seems impossible to forgive. It might feel
like you will be letting the person that wronged you off
the hook. That is the exact attitude that keeps you
suffering and under the control of the person or event
that hurt you for a long time. There are many benefits
of forgiveness the will make your life a more enjoyable
experience but most of all it will allow you to be happy .
Forgiveness Improves Your Health
Practicing forgiveness will improve your health and
make you feel better physically. Letting go of the
negative emotions surrounding any grudge holding or
hurt is not debatable. They include lower blood pressure,
a lower risk of depression, decreased anxiety, improved
relationships, better heart health, and a stronger
immune system.

45 | P a g e
All of these coming from making the choice to forgive
someone. The alternative is to hang on to the grudge
and has all of the physical things above become a
problem as in increased anxiety, higher blood pressure,
poorer relationships, worse heart health and weaker
immune system. Seems like a no-brainer for your health
to forgive others or yourself and let go of the negative
emotions surrounding an event in your life. Your health
will be better for it and of course when you are
healthier, you are happier.
Buddha once said, “Holding on to anger is like
grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it
at someone else; you are the one who gets
burned.”
Forgiveness Nurtures Growth
The size of the event doesn’t seem to matter.A relatively
small event that you can’t forgive someone for or a huge
mistake, when you maintain the grudge you are
remaining stuck where you are. Think about it, any
event that has happened in the past exists in the past
and as long as your focus is on the past, that is where
you will stay. To forgive and let go of the anger is going
to allow you to move forward with your life. Using the
knowledge of the mistake to move grow as a person.
Forgiving those that have hurt you is the only way to
become unstuck and move forward.
Events in the past are not going to change, they are
what they are. Only your attitude about them can

46 | P a g e
change and you have total control over them. The
person who gets the benefit of your forgiveness is going
to be you. You will find that you have the capacity to
create, be positive about the future and leave the weight
of the past behind you. You will see the capacity to
grow and be happy. It will surprise you how much you
can do without all the extra weight of blame, anger,
hatred and lack of forgiveness weighing you down. You
can begin to grow again. Without growth life ceases to
exist. Happiness becomes a part of your life.
Nobody is Off The Hook
Forgiveness is not weighted. That is there are no levels
of forgiveness depending on the wrong committed. You
will still be weighed down, trapped by an event or
person, and unable to grow until you decide to practice
forgiveness. Many people I talk to say that what was
done to them was too awful or too terrible to be
forgiven. When you forgive, you do not condone or
make anything morally right. You give yourself
permission to leave the experience of the event behind
you and to move forward. Nobody is let “off the hook”
by your forgiveness except for you. You never have to
talk to a person to forgive them.
Forgiveness is a mental choice that you make which
allows you to direct your thoughts in a more positive
direction. It allows a person to create positive new
memories and a life full of happiness and joy, rather
than to be weighed down by the negative memory of an

47 | P a g e
event or person from the path. All of the control in your
life will move to you, and away from a negative event.
You will become a stronger, more powerful person when
you practice forgiveness because forgiveness is
proactive. Anger, resentment, grudges and hate are all
reactive. Happiness and contentment will be possible for
the person who practices forgiveness.
Hard Forgiveness
Personally, my struggles with forgiveness and being
unhappy have provided some intense learning and
personal growth. I have found forgiveness one of the
most difficult things for me to muster up from the
bottom of my soul at times. For most people who I
carried low expectations, forgiveness comes easier. We
are all learning the lessons of life. It is when someone
who I expect more from has hurt me that I found it
extremely difficult to forgive. When someone you trust
and have high expectations of lets you down it is
extremely devastating. The hurt is somehow more
intense and long lasting. It is almost as if withholding
forgiveness allows you some measure of control. That is
simply an illusion.
When you depend on someone to be on your side and to
support you, no matter what, it is a hard lesson to find
that they are human, and make mistakes too. In fact,
their hypocrisy is one of the most painful hurts there is
because it is so unexpected. Like a sucker punch from
the Pope. It hurts twice as much, and is more difficult to

48 | P a g e
forgive, because a trust has been violated, and it is
deeply personal. Someone that you could always count
on was now gone. If you can no longer trust your most
trusted friends and loved ones, then there is nobody
that you can rely on left in life. That leads to isolation,
loneliness and being unhappy.
Forgiveness of the ones that you cared about the most
is most difficult to grant, but in the end, it is most
important. Your heart will never fully heal until you
grant this forgiveness. It doesn’t matter if they deserve
it because you deserve it. This forgiveness will allow you
to put the negative emotions associated with this hurt in
the past, grow, and experience freedom in your life. It is
time to sail on to the future, and see what adventure
and achievement life has in store for you. Happiness
results from forgiveness, it is as simple as that.
“Forgiveness is not always easy. At times, it feels
more painful than the wound we suffered, to
forgive the one that inflicted it. And yet, there is
no peace without forgiveness.” ~Marianne
Williamson
Visit Jonathan Hilton Mind Connections !!

49 | P a g e
~SECRET 9~
Growth is Life
“I want to grow. I want to be better. You Grow. We all
grow. We're made to grow.You either evolve or you
disappear.” ~ Tupac Shakur
I was once told that you are either getting better or you
are getting worse in life. There is no way to stay the
same. This thought often sits in my mind when I think
about not doing a workout or finishing some work that I
know I should do. It has been proven true in my life,
either I am getting better physically, mentally and
spiritually or I am getting worse. It would be difficult to
continually grow by leaps and bounds each day, but I
think we would all be happier if we managed to build a
small percentage of improvement in your life each day.
It is not too daunting to improve just a small fraction of
a percent.
Improvement Physically
Physical fitness is vital and even though the aging
process makes the evaluation of your activity change,
you can still improve your fitness and your quality of life
each and every day. This can be done by having a
consistent workout activity. Making that exercise
important to you and positively participating when you
should. Many people spend time comparing their right

50 | P a g e
now body and fitness level to where they were in their
youth. That is a big mistake because that person is long
gone. Now you are a little older, the activity can be
modified and adapted. The important thing is to seek
growth, not to recapture the past.
A person doesn’t have to be a world-class athlete in
order to improve each day by a small percentage. A
brisk walk on a consistent basis will lower your weight,
improve your heart health and most likely add time on
to your life. If you hike, lift weights, do aerobics,
practice yoga or participate in Tai Chi you are improving
your physical self. You are never trying to be better
than anyone else in these activities. You only need to
be better than who you were yesterday. Don’t worry
about being the best, worry about being your best!
Mental Improvement
Mentally the improvement is going to come from using
that brain of yours to do something new. That is to learn
and to think. Find something that you enjoy and start to
learn all that you can about it. I learned once that if you
dedicated one hour a day learning about something that
interested you, you will be an expert in that field in
relatively short order. I have applied this to finding
ways to be happier and to complete this course. We live
in a great time where all of the knowledge in the world
is available at your fingertips and can be accessed online
for free. You simply have to seek it.
There is no reason that you can’t learn about anything
your heart desires. If you are a visual learner, then

51 | P a g e
Youtube is a channel that was built for you. You can
watch people bake, do math, fix computers, work on
cars or teach you about consciousness. It is all there for
the asking. Mental growth is powerful and beneficial
because once your mind grows it will not shrink again.
New information and mental stimulation lead to a desire
to learn more. At the least, read a book of substance
that will teach you a life lesson, or something else
valuable to your growth.
It is never too late to go back to school if you want to
take a more organized approach to things.
Spiritual Growth
Spiritual growth is the process of awakening inside and
becoming more conscious of your inner being. How a
person travels this route is really up to them. I don’t
believe there is only one way to get where you need to
go. For some, the path of an established religion might
be the best method, Islam, Christianity, Buddhism, or
some other religion might allow this understanding. You
definitely don’t need any religion at all to become more
aware.
Evaluating your life and noticing the voice and thoughts
of your true self, and putting aside the conditioned
behaviors and beliefs that society has put in your mind
is a real path to spiritual growth. Most of the spirituality
that has helped me has come from a deeper
understanding that there is a connection between myself
and the world around me. I call it God, but you can call

52 | P a g e
it by any name that you are comfortable with, all
powerful, the Universe, or something else.
Even if you are an atheist you can improve your
spirituality by getting in touch with nature, the world
around you and the world that exists inside you. I think
that having an appreciation for the way the world works
and a respect for all life is a way to improve your
spirituality. Remember you are only looking to be a
small percentage better than you were yesterday. That
can happen in many different and enjoyable ways.
Learn to meditate, learn to pray, practice deep
breathing, or any other activity which will allow you to
look inside of yourself for what truly matters in life will
allow you to present this to others . One of the simple
things that allow for growth is the practice of counting
your blessings. There are always some things to be
grateful for, recognize them and be thankful for them.
These things make you feel happy and by recognizing
them, and their value to you, it will increase that
happiness. At any moment you can only entertain one
thought at a time, if that thought is positive then you
will feel happy, if it is negative then you will feel
something else. Spend time focusing on the positive and
you will be improving spiritually.
Financial Improvement
One of the areas that most people have struggled is
financially. Having money is a must in the world today
and the more money we have directly related to the
number and volume of the experiences we choose to

53 | P a g e
participate in. So making more money is often the focus
of activities and our lives. There are other important
factors in life, that involve knowing what makes you
happy and finding a method for getting paid to do that
thing. That is the perfect job for you when you work at
something that you love then you really never work a
day in your life.
Financial improvement is going to come from two things.
First is to check your mental programming. Many people
have beliefs of lack that were created when they were
younger, for example: “Money is scarce.” , “Money is
hard to come by.” , “Money is the root of all evil.”,
“Money corrupts people.” , “You have to work extremely
hard to make a lot of money.”, etc.
All of these beliefs and many more limiting beliefs about
money are just that, limiting beliefs. What you believe
that you can accomplish you generally can.
Reprogramming your beliefs is about as difficult a
process as you determine it is going to be. There are
programs out there to help guide you, but many
advocate a simple recognition of your belief and a desire
to change it.
Secondly, I think a person needs to write down their
goals. Many people state they have goals, about 3% of
all people write down their goals, look at them
repeatedly and then work to make them come about.
Personally, I think that by writing down goals and
looking at them repeatedly, will allow you to take steps
to achieve them. Goal setting has been proven to work
for people all over the world, in all areas. From business

54 | P a g e
to athletics, those who achieve at a high level are
generally goal setters who write their goals down.
Taking action is the unwritten third factor, without
action, nothing will happen. It can’t. Your action creates
an energy that creates a response. There can be no
response, positive or negative if you don’t do a thing.
“The only way that we can live, is if we grow. The only
way that we can grow is if we change. The only way that
we can change is if we learn. The only way we can learn
is if we are exposed. And the only way that we can
become exposed is if we throw ourselves out into the
open. Do it. Throw yourself.” ― C. JoyBell C.

55 | P a g e
~SECRET 10~
Surround Yourself with
Positive People
“Surround yourself with only people who
are going to lift you higher.” ~Oprah
Winfrey
One of the first rules of doing anything successfully is to
surround yourself with great people and the project,
assignment or event is destined to become the best
success it can possibly be. This is also true for the
amount happiness you want to experience in your life.
Surround yourself with people who are positive, kind,
look at the bright side and are happy, and it will be
much easier to be happy.
Focus on Removing the Negative
How do you know if someone is a positive or a negative
influence on your experience? It is simple, but difficult.
You need to look at the topics of conversation that you
are participating in when you are with them.
The first evaluation is to look at the topics you discuss
when you are with someone. If you are spending your
time talking about someone else and the shortcomings
then that negativity is going to rub off on your mood.

56 | P a g e
There is a great quote I love that is attributed to Elanor
Roosevelt which says, “Great minds discuss ideas,
average minds discuss events, small minds discuss
people.” That should be your evaluation of all of the
discussions you have. If you are discussing other people
then it needs to stop in order to find happiness. If you
are the person bringing people up then it is a simple
thing to stop it. If it is a friend or colleague then you
have the right to steer them in another direction or to be
upfront and ask them to stop.
Right now all of your acquaintances are up for
evaluation. This is not to judge anyone or put anyone
down, this is to create an atmosphere in your life that
exudes happiness. So start looking at the people you
spend time with and the conversations you have. Try to
steer the talks toward ideas
Find People who are Electric
There is a feeling that you experience whenever you
meet anyone, it is a charge that you receive. Some
people are obviously charged negatively, some are in
the middle and some are on the highly positive side.
These on the positive side are the ones to build
relationships with, work with, and spend time with. You
will find that these people are electric and will help all of
your projects get off the ground and become the best
that they can be.
When you find these people, observe the way that they
look at the world, challenges and other people and you
will have the blueprint for how to be happier. It is the

57 | P a g e
choice in thought that allows for the positive energy to
flow. These people look at destruction and see the
benefits or the bright side. These are attitudes equal to
gold. It is easy to be negative and complain all the time,
wallowing in a mistake, or in the past is easy to do.
Those who can push past those things easily can pull
you along with them. Find them, latch onto them,
emulate them and spend time with as many as you can
find.
Being happy is easy when you are surrounded by
positive and happy people. Life is too short to wallow in
self-pity and judgment of other.
“There are people in the world who make things better
just by smiling. Some make whatever you are doing fun
even if it is a boring or mundane task. Those are the
people that you should cling to.”

58 | P a g e
~SECRET 11 ~
Practice Positive
Kind Thoughts
“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or
rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.” ~Abraham
Lincoln
Life is such a crazy, wild, up and down ride that it can
be difficult to be happy all the time. Sometimes there
seems to be no rhyme or reason why things happen and
dealing with the sudden, quick changes that are thrown
at us makes it hard to understand if there is something
that we should be doing better. I mean, in the end,
shouldn’t we be happy? Shouldn’t our daily routines and
struggles bring us personal satisfaction and make us feel
valuable as individuals? I think that it should, and one
way to do this is to practice positive thinking.
What Positive Thinking Means
I do not think that positive thinking means you only
have bright, happy thoughts because that would be

59 | P a g e
impossible. Everyone has darker thoughts, you almost
can’t help it. Our egos have been building protective
thoughts our entire lives and we are all equally capable
of darkness as we are of the light. Your ego and its
voice are designed to keep you safe. It has been
conditioned by your experience, so if you gave
something your all and failed in the past, ego
remembers the pain and discourages you from taking
future risks. Often by any means necessary, including
destroying our confidence and discouraging you in the
most devastating ways. This produces negative thoughts
and energy about your abilities and actions. Many of
these experiences take place earlier in life and all
experiences in life can add to it. Learning to recognize
this conditioning and its negative voice and keep moving
toward your goals anyway is the key to positive
thinking.
It’s Not a Cover Up
We all have made choices that we know in retrospect
weren’t the best. I know I have, and looking back, I
can’t believe how bad some of these decisions were.
What was I thinking? I used to beat myself up all the
time about them, and they were a part of my daily
existence. When you focus on the negative mistakes you
made, it will only keep you in that negative space and
bring more negativity into your life. You can’t change
the past. All you can do is move on with the future.

60 | P a g e
Positive thinking does not mean to forget or overlook
these negative/poor choices, it is a way to put them into
proper perspective. Accept that these things happened,
then leave them in the past where they belong, because
no amount of second guessing, longing, or fantasy
replay in your head is going to change what happened in
the past. It is done. It is over. That will not change. All
that you can control is what you can learn from that
situation and take those lessons with you. This doesn’t
mean sugar coat it or ignore it, but deal with it process
it and put it behind you and move on.
Each choice and experience offer a lesson of some kind.
If you can understand that lesson it will bring you
knowledge and wisdom to help guide you through future
choices in a much more valuable way. This is the
development of wisdom. Using this wisdom as a guide
the next time you meet a similar situation, you will not
choose poorly or do something you will regret. You will
be moving in a positive direction and making choices
that will honor you.
What is A Positive Thought
Positive thoughts come from the emotions we entertain,
the words we speak and the actions we take. These all
come from a place of love or a place of fear. You can
imagine that emotions, words, and actions that come
from love bring with it peace, understanding,
empathy, sympathy, kindness, hope, truth and of course
love. Those that come from fear bring hate, doubt,

61 | P a g e
anger, jealousy, resentment, lies, inferiority and ego.
These are all thoughts that we have control of the level
of focus we give to them.
Positive thinking is the practice of embracing the
thoughts, words and actions of love and paying little to
no attention to the thoughts, words or actions of fear.
This doesn’t mean that you don’t have them because
we all do. Someone makes you mad, or treats you
poorly and the thoughts of fear will rise. You will always
have a choice at this point, let them rule your actions, or
recognize them, experience them and choose the
emotions, words, and actions that will bring happiness
back to you. This doesn’t mean you let people walk all
over you because you can defend yourself and your
being without resorting to hateful, violent or unhealthy
thoughts. You can do it with understanding, empathy
and love.
Another Positive Thought
For me, when I started to realize that I could entertain
whatever thought I wanted, it changed the way I looked
at the world and the people in it. The power of knowing
that I was in charge of how I felt was overwhelming. It
made me want to learn more because experiencing life
through this lens was a much more fulfilling and
enjoyable.
This led to more social experiments and finding the
reaction of others is almost always a mirror of the
emotions you show to them. Strangers smile and are
friendly when you extend friendship. People appreciate

62 | P a g e
you when you show them appreciation. It is not hard to
look at what someone else does and appreciate the
thought, time, and talent it took to create whatever it is
they are doing.
Let Things Play Out
It never ceases to amaze me that when something
happens to you, good, bad, or neutral, almost always it
provides an opportunity to grow and develop as a
human being. All you have to do is be aware and
accepting of the lessons. I have beat myself up and
ridiculed myself for years about decisions in my past,
only to realize I was wasting my time because those
things actually set in motion circumstances that greatly
benefited me in the end. I also came to appreciate that
those benefits would have never been able to occur in
any other way.
I think that when I relax and let events play out, and
accept what is happening that I can achieve greatness.
This doesn’t mean we are off the hook on the action
because we always have a choice and we have the
ability to act. Don’t be afraid to act, but understand that
your action may end up in failure, but that failure may
be the step you need to take to reach the highest
potential, that you have inside you. Positive thinking and
approaching all people and circumstances with loving
thoughts will allow you to find true happiness in all
phases of your life.

63 | P a g e
You Are Great, There is Really Nothing You Can Do
About it!
Now it is time to stop blaming yourself for the past and
believing all the thoughts of fear. You made choices.
Accept it, learn from it and move on to the rest of your
life. You were not put on the Earth to think about the
past with negativity and unhappiness. You are here to
be great! Everyone is born with a greatness inside of
them, and some easily find it. Some have to work
harder because life is full of should haves, would haves
and could haves that work to hide your happiness from
you in your mind. Remember there are always two
sides to the coin of emotion, words, and actions. You
choose which side the coin lands on in your life, love or
fear. Choosing love will eradicate unhappiness.
“Of course there must be lots of Magic in the
world," he said wisely one day, "but people don't
know what it is like or how to make it. Perhaps the
beginning is just to say nice things are going to
happen until you make them happen. I am going
to try and experiment.” ~ Frances Hodgson
Burnett, The Secret Garden

64 | P a g e
~SECRET 12~
Never Worry About What
Other People Think
“The eyes of others our prisons; their
thoughts our cages.” ~Virginia Woolf~
In my life, there are few things that I have spent more
time worrying about needlessly than the thoughts about
me that are running around in someone else’s mind. I
would worry if what I was doing was acceptable to
others or what they might think of me if they saw that I
liked certain things. All of this is a waste of time that
takes away from your individual happiness and
becoming happier will be a natural byproduct of giving
up the worry about what other people thinks about you,
your actions and your life. We all want to be liked,
accepted, praised or admired, but all of those things are
dependent on the thoughts of others and if you rely on
these things to give you happiness, they can be taken
away by the choices of another person.
People Believe What They Want To
The truth is often a rare visitor to some people, and they
choose to believe whatever is most convenient to them

65 | P a g e
at the time. If it sheds a positive or negative light on
you is of little consequence to most people. No matter
how nice, considerate, kind and understanding you
choose to be, there are going to be people you come in
contact with that simply are not fans. They don’t like
your name, the way you talk, the manner in which you
walk or something that you said. This has nothing to do
with you and everything to do with them.
You can’t control this and to let the thoughts and
opinions of others dictate your level of happiness in life
is simply not a healthy way to live your life. You will not
be able to control people with how you think or speak.
All you can do is think and speak in a manner that is
honest and true to you. Other people will feel how they
are programmed to feel about it. I once realized when I
was teaching high school that there is about 1/3rd
of the
people who are going to love you no matter what you
do. There is about 1/3rd
of the people who dislike you no
matter what you do. And the other 1/3rd
can be won
over or lost due to your behavior. Be who you are, be
honest, be truthful, be kind and all of those people that
matter will gravitate toward you. Those that are not on
your side won’t and you will be much happier for it.
What others think is none of your business
All thoughts are personal to each person’s experience of
life. There is no reason to put more emphasis on other
people’s thought than you would on yours. We have no
way of knowing the belief system that another person
has developed over their life, and that is just fine. Each
person has a right to think however they want about you

66 | P a g e
and if it is negative, most often that is because of their
own experiences and beliefs that have nothing to do
with you. Don’t judge someone as bad because they
don’t seem to like you, respect them and their opinion.
It really has no bearing on your life at all. All you can
control are your thoughts, behaviors, and beliefs, and
doing that well will allow you some happiness.
People Don’t Think of You As Much as YOU
Think
We often see ourselves as the center of attention, and of
course to us, we are. To other people, we are simply a
bit player in the drama that is their life. We drift into
their thoughts from time to time and then not at all.
Most often, people are not thinking of you at all and that
means that the stress that you put on your own
perceptions about these thoughts are going to be
wasted energy. There are many times when I was
worried about what others thought, only to come to the
harsh realization that most people really don’t think of
me at all. This is a powerful and enlightening realization.
If someone does think negatively about me, then it is
more of a reflection of their own shortcomings and
character flaws than anything that has to do with me.
Learning to not care what others thinks is a difficult
lesson but one that is very freeing.
Those who Mind, don’t matter and those that
matter don’t mind.

67 | P a g e
Accept the fact that you are going to be gossiped about,
criticized and judged by some people no matter who you
are. Especially, if you have something worthwhile to say.
Being an interesting and dynamic person is going to
attract some of this. Those who are negative toward you
are often driven by the negative power of fear. Either
jealousy about your freedom of thought or about seeing
the honest person you are, which sheds a light on the
limits in their own lives.
The people who truly matter will not be this way and for
every critical, negative, angry, mean person you come
in contact with, there are at least two out there who are
totally on your side and support you completely. They
love everything you think and do. Focus on them,
because they are the ones that you want to connect with
anyway. The negative ones are going to do nothing but
drag you down and hold you there. Let them go, let
their thoughts go, let their negative actions go. They are
all just a reflection of their own limiting beliefs.
Nobody’s Approval Needed to Be Great
I understand how great it feels to be praised and
encouraged. Yet it is unhealthy to put your value of a
person on the line in order to be these things. There is
no way to control the thoughts of others and make them
care or be kind to you. Since you can’t control it, then
why spend time worrying about it? Be who you are, do
what you do, think how you think and let people join
you or be against you as they see fit. They have the
same freedom to control their lives the same way that
your decisions and beliefs are all up to you. There is no

68 | P a g e
requirement for anyone else’s approval for you to be the
best that you can be. You will be great when you choose
to accept the great things about yourself that exist
naturally within you. Happiness is the inevitable result of
this decision.
Mastering this very difficult skill is one of the best ways
to increase the happiness in your life right now. Let
others think what they will, know yourself and build your
experience based on what works for you and forget
about the thoughts of others.
“Care about what other people think and you
will always be their prisoner.” ~Lao Tzu~

69 | P a g e
FINAL THOUGHTS
Happiness is important in life because the
experience you have each day will be controlled by
how happy you are about them. The real secret to
happiness is that you really do control all of the
factors that make you happy. If you feel you need
more money, then you can set goals and take
actions to get you there. If a more fulfilling
relationship is what you desire then follow the
same path. Each day is an opportunity for you to
make the choices that will lead to more happiness,
enjoyment and fulfillment in your life. Recognize
the areas of lack, then make a conscious choice to
increase their presence in your life. It sounds
almost too easy, but life makes things
unnecessarily complicated. Don’t allow this to be
the case in your experience.
I have read a lot about this topic and the
conclusion that I always come to is that happiness
is a choice, and we all make it for ourselves. You
will decide if at the end of your days, the journey
was filled with moments of unbridled joy, pure
misery or somewhere in between.
Personally I wish you the best on your journey, and
that you find exactly what you are looking for.

70 | P a g e
FOLLOW ME:
Facebook
Twitter
Instagram
Mind Connections

71 | P a g e
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Meet Jonathan Hilton, the author of this little book.
He is a writer from Maine who has found joy in
sharing his thoughts and ideas with others. A
lifelong learner and physical fitness fanatic,
Jonathan was a history teacher for 14 years but
was looking for his niche and found it in writing and
creating, especially things that create positivity.
Jonathan loves educating and inspiring other
authors and entrepreneurs to succeed and live the
life of their dreams.
Make sure to check out all of his work at
www.jonathanhilton.com
Follow His Facebook Page

72 | P a g e
“The moments of happiness we enjoy take us by surprise. It
is not that we seize them, but that they seize us”
~Ashley Montagu
“It isn’t what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or
what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is
what you think about.” ~Dale Carnegie
“Don’t underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just
going along, listening to all the things you can’t hear, and
not bothering.” ~Winnie the Pooh
“We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result
of getting something we don’t have, but rather of
recognizing and appreciating what we do have.”
~Frederick Keonig

12 secrets for a happier life book

More Related Content

What's hot

Viewers also liked

Similar to 12 secrets for a happier life book

12 secrets for a happier life book