This document summarizes a presentation given at the Clarksville Christian Writers Workshop on showing versus telling and using deep point of view in writing. It introduces the presenters, Hannah Conway and Sara Turnquist, and discusses how showing creates vivid pictures for readers rather than just telling them information. It provides examples of when to show versus tell and the components of a showing scene. The presentation also covers using a character's deep point of view to immerse readers in the story from the perspective of just one character. Attendees then broke into groups to discuss character building, marketing, and writing critiques before the presenters closed by sharing their contact information and taking final questions.

1. Clarksville Christian
Writers Workshop
Take Your Writing Deeper:
Show Don’t Tell & Deep POV
#CCW2016

2. WIFI
HBCStudent A

3. Hi, I’m Hannah Conway
• Kentucky Native
• Army Wife, Momma &
Speaker
• Author with Olivia
Kimbrell Press
• Represented by The
Blythe Daniel Literary
Agency
• “The Wounded Warrior’s
Wife”
• “Wedding a Warrior”
WWW.HANNAHRCONWAY.COM

4. Sara R. Turnquist
• Clarksville native
• Wife, mother, “closet
writer”
• Author with Clean
Reads
• “The Lady Bornekova”
• “The General’s Wife”
saraturnquist.com

5. #CCW2016

6. Icebreaker
NEVER HAVE I EVER…

7. Take Writing
Deeper
A Show vs Tell & Deep POV discussion

8. Showing Vs. Telling

9. What is it?
Tell: It’s simply telling the reader
what is happening.
Show: Creating a picture in the
reader’s head of what’s going on,
what the character is feeling etc
without telling them.

10. Example:
The Lorax:
Imagery
Actions/
Reactions
Dialogue

11. Example
The Lorax:
Imagery
Actions/
Reactions
Dialogue

12. When to Tell…
Telling in the area of
doing, action,
description is Ok.
Ex: She hung a left on South Bend and merged
on to the 1-40 ramp.
Ex: His eyes were mossy green
Ex: His arm snapped—broken for sure, but he
kept running.

13. When to Show…
We want to SHOW emotion,
and SHOW action that
applied to the emotion

14. Avoid these Telling
Words
Felt
Knew
Thought

15. Components of a
Showing Scene
SHARP
S Stakes
H Hero/Heroine Identification
A Anchoring
R Run
P Problem
5 W’s + 1 Emotion

16. [6] Closing
Thank them for their
time/consideration
Tell them what you are attaching
Only attach what is requested in
their submission guidelines, if
anything
Include your contact information
here if it’s an electronic query

17. Break

18. Deep POV (Point of View)

19. POV
1st Person: Using “I”
2nd Person: You (Rarely used…mostly
in non-fiction)
3rd Person: Name/he/she
Omniscient: Narrator knows
everything…doing, feeling, thinking
etc.
Limited omniscient: Narrator only
shows what character
knows/thinks/feels

20. What is Deep POV?
It’s 3rd person limited omniscient,
BUT a step further
Mimics the way we/character
perceive situations in real life
Narrator ONLY tells/shows things the
character in the scene is consciously
aware of

21. Example:
In the
moment
with the
character
We see/feel
ONLY what
the
character
feels

22. Telling: He felt the bed shift
beneath him, and wondered what
was happening.

23. Deep POV: The bed shifted
beneath him. What was
happening?

24. What does Deep POV do?
Lets the character tell/show/share the
story
Removes intentional thoughts/felt/other
senses because we don’t intentionally
think that way
Makes the narrator invisible

25. Why use Deep POV?
It allows the reader to get close to the character
Adds emotional depth to the story; author
disappears
It’s an interactive experience for the reader

26. Do’s of Deep POV
Know your character & give her a strong voice
Refer to your POV character for intentional
actions (use her/his name and he/she)
Use “pointed” words like…this, that, here, there,
sooner, later
Internalize everything! All details & descriptions
come from character’s pov
Limit dialogue tags…. “he said,” “she asked”

27. Don’ts
Don’t use passive voice: POV character is in the
subject of sentence or clause whenever possible
Don’t refer to POV character directly when
showing judgements, feelings, observations
etc…
Don’t “filter” your characters
experiences….examples of filtered words
are…thought, felt, saw, heard, realize, watch

28. Authors Who Do It Well!
Joanne Bischof
Brandilyn Collins
Susan May Warren
Nicole Deese (1st person)
Tosca Lee (1st person)
Jerry B. Jenkins (1st & 3rd)

29. Questions?

30. Break

31. Breakout Sessions!
1: Character Building
2: Marketing
3: Writing/Peer Critiquing

32. Resources for You!
Conferences
KY, Clarksville, ACFW in Nashville
in 2016, google “Christian Writer’s
Conferences”
Blogs from other established authors
Jerry Jenkins, The Creative Penn

33. HOW TO FIND US
HANNAH
www.hannahrconway.com
TWITTER: @hannahrconway
FACEBOOK: Hannah Conway, Author
SARA
saraturnquist.com
TWITTER: @sarat1701
FACEBOOK: Sara R. Turnquist, Author

34. Questions?

35. Clarksville Christian
Writer’s Group
WEDNESDAY NIGHTS
6:30 – 7:30 pm
Hilldale Baptist Church
2001 Madison Street
Clarksville, TN