Fathoming Deep Point-of-View

vIDEAn Unlimited, LLC
vIDEAn Unlimited, LLCLiterary Architect at vIDEAn Unlimited, LLC
About Ann Videan
Book Shepherd, author, editor, illustrator, composer
• A professional writer since 1981
• Owned award-winning marketing firm, vIDEAn Unlimited, LLC, since 1996
• Editor: corporate, publishing house, and 80+ client books
• Author: Rhythms & Muse, Song of the Ocarina, and Enchanted Faerie Portals
• Co-owner Absolutely Wild! Enchanted Faerie Portals & Other Whimsy—
inspired by Fae characters in my Delfaerune Rhapsody series
Other career highlights:
• 2007: Selected by peers for the Public Relations Society of America’s
top honor—the PERCY Award
• 2005: Selected by national panel for Crown Jewel Award—
top U.S. home-based business
• 2004: Served as catalyst to reintroduce white rhinos to the Phoenix Zoo
• 1996: Enticed 15,000 extras to Sun Devil Stadium in Tempe, AZ, to film football
movie scenes for Jerry Maguire
Fathoming Deep
Point-of-View
Ann Narcisian Videan
ANVidean.com
Sept. 26, 2021
Let’s talk about…
Deep POV
• What is it?
• Specific techniques
• Practice
This one change in your writing can
make readers react with high emotion
to your story.
What even is
deep POV?
The main technique to make characters “real” and “relatable.”
Staying inside
a character’s
experience...
evokes strong
reader
reactions.
Stay in
the action.
Climb into a
character’s head
and...
write what they taste,
feel, hear, smell,
and think.
Viewpoint
focuses
attention so
readers
experience
your story.
Character
sad?
So is your
reader.
Character in
love?
So is your
reader.
Basic
reasons to
use deep
POV:
Immediacy/immersive
Eliminates authorial
interference
Keeps readers from
viewing the story
“outside” the character
Creates stronger
emotional connections
Quickens pacing Minimizes “telling”
Can deep POV be overused?
Yes, sometimes you need
narrative.
“Telling” is necessary for
many situations.
Narrative fills in
gaps/speeds time.
Specific
Techniques
How to choose POV
Which character has the most to
lose in a scene?
Use their viewpoint.
Scene question
Choose POV
Set scene goal
Create conflict
Did the character achieve
goal?
[Setback]
Setback answers the
scene question
Did the character achieve the goal?
• Yes. [Boring]
• Yes, but… [Better]
• No. [Builds tension.]
• No, and furthermore…
[Even more tension and conflict.]
Stay in the
character’s head
• Don’t’ use “she saw” or he…
thought, heard, felt, wished,
wondered, knew, decided,
watched, realized, remembered.
• It distances the reader from the
action and takes him/her outside of
the character’s head.
Example
Distanced:
• I feel my hands shaking uncontrollably.
[present]
Deep:
• My hands shake uncontrollably.
[present]
• My hands shook uncontrollably.
[past]
Example
Distanced:
I heard the woman
take a large intake
of breath.
Deep:
The woman inhaled
a deep breath.
Practice
Reword this sentence into
deep POV.
• She located a bug high on
the wall and stared at it while
she reached for the closest
weapon, her shoe.
Practice
Distant:
• She located a bug high on the wall
and stared at it while she reached for
the closest weapon, her shoe.
Deep:
A bug on the wall above her head
riveted her gaze while one hand drifted
downward to the closest weapon, her
shoe.
Write
realistic
internal
dialogue
If someone offered your starving character
food, what would s/he actually think?
Distanced:
• He held out an apple and her stomach
responded with strong gratitude for
something to quell her hunger.
Deep:
• Her stomach lurched at the sight of the
apple he held out to her. Thank God he
brought me something to eat!
Don’t simply
name
emotions
Show the character’s physical and emotional
reaction in detail.
Distanced:
• As the monster’s head rounded the corner,
terror gripped Joe.
Deep:
• The monster’s head rounded the corner, and
Joe’s whole body shook, loosening a trickle
of sweat that rolled along his spine.
Physical/emotional/
mental reactions
What are some physical
(visible) reactions for these
emotions?
• Shyness
• Anger
• Surprise
Emotional (internal) reactions?
Mental reactions (thoughts)?
Character
flaws
make
characters
real
Give characters and readers strong conflict,
causing high emotion: Work in the character’s
weakness, scars, and emotional despair.
Examples:
If the character has abandonment issues,
kidnap someone in her family.
Is he’s insecure, put him in a situation
requiring bravery to overcome a problem no
one else can, or is willing to, solve.
Emotional/sequential
reaction*
When something happens, humans react in
this order:
• Emotion
• “Oh, darn!” or teeth gnashing
• Review, logic, and reason
• What just happened? Was I at fault? Is
anyone hurt?
• Anticipation
• What’s going to happen. What do I do?
• Choice
• What steps do I take? Who do I call?
*per author/professor Deborah Chester,
Fantasy Fiction Formula
Start action with POV character
To keep a reader connected, start almost all action with the POV character.
Okay:
Jarrod plopped down next to Austin and nudged him in the ribs.
Better:
Austin flinched as Jarrod plopped down next to him, too close, his bony elbow jabbing his
ribcage.*
*Example from author Jessica Morrell
Limit use of main character’s name
Use the main character’s name as seldom as possible because, in
the POV character’s head, they won’t often, if ever, think of
themselves using their name.
This is tricky because you need to make clear which character is
talking or acting in the moment.
Identify them through other means…
Unique dialogue/
“thinking voice”
Use word choices from their
vocabulary and experience.
Assign specific favorite phrases.
Example, if your character is
Australian:
• Use “G’day, mate,” or
• “That guy has a punch like a
kangaroo kick,” or
• “We’ve traveled far enough to be
in the outback by now.”
Consistent,
but varied
physical
reactions
Where does the character most often feel
physical reactions? Stomach vs. head vs.
something else?
Examples, if your character’s reactions often
involve her heart in moments of high emotion:
• He hugged her, and an immediate tattoo of
rapid percussion battered her ribs.
• She watched him walk away as a dull ache
squeezed her heart.
Individual mannerisms
Identify all characters,
using specific
mannerisms.
POV character should
have habits but can also
notice others’.
Examples:
POV character often
places one finger on her
forehead while thinking,
twirls when happy, or
tightens her eyes
when worried.
Other character often
grins broadly, talks with
his hands, feigns death
when teased.
Deep POV uses strong
active verbs
Jessica Morrell calls them “word grenades”
when they deliver force.
Her examples:
• Okay: The vandals made a total wreck of our
apartment.
• Better: The vandals savaged our apartment.
• Okay: The man ate the meal hungrily.
• Better: He ate at the edge of the fire,
slavering like an animal.
Brainstorm active verbs
What action could a character take while
feeling the following emotion?
• Great joy
• Insignificant
• Desire
• Shame
• Impatience
They might… [suggest a verb]
Homework
Scene
handout
Read and detect issues
on the provided scene.
Rewrite it using the
techniques of Deep POV
and active verbiage.
Cheat sheet for deep POV
Stay in POV character’s head
Use realistic internal dialogue
Don’t simply name emotions, show the physical, emotional reaction
Involve character flaws to heighten conflict
Use the sequence of emotional reaction
Start almost all action with the POV character
Limit use of main character’s name
Use strong active verbs
Did you choose a POV character with the most to lose?
Q&A
Allow me
to help…
Next presentation:
I’m available to your group!
My consultation discount for you:
1.5 hours for $50
Writing tips at:
ANVidean.com
602.769.8316
ann@annvidean.com
1 of 35

More Related Content

What's hot(20)

Elements of a Story PPTElements of a Story PPT
Elements of a Story PPT
Rahul Jose7.9K views
Story writing skillsStory writing skills
Story writing skills
Dr. Nicholas Correa5.4K views
Characterisation in Dougy by JaCharacterisation in Dougy by Ja
Characterisation in Dougy by Ja
naiwilliams3.9K views
Writing a storyWriting a story
Writing a story
misscunningham26.8K views
Creative writing saves livesCreative writing saves lives
Creative writing saves lives
AmPetsAlive351 views
Writing a short storyWriting a short story
Writing a short story
Valerie R. Burton, M.Ed.5.8K views
The art of ImprovisationThe art of Improvisation
The art of Improvisation
Celia Mann6K views
Writing the short storyWriting the short story
Writing the short story
naiwilliams8.9K views
Elements of a storyElements of a story
Elements of a story
Elizabeth Buchanan5.1K views
Draft3 part 3Draft3 part 3
Draft3 part 3
ceriseoliviaa259 views
Some needed lit termsSome needed lit terms
Some needed lit terms
middletons1340 views
Types of Narrative LeadsTypes of Narrative Leads
Types of Narrative Leads
kjhatzi23.2K views
Character in Novel WritingCharacter in Novel Writing
Character in Novel Writing
Bob Mayer227 views
Preparing For Nanowrimo SuccessPreparing For Nanowrimo Success
Preparing For Nanowrimo Success
Bob Mayer972 views

Similar to Fathoming Deep Point-of-View

Literary TermsLiterary Terms
Literary TermsKimberly Montague
3.6K views31 slides
Practice for testPractice for test
Practice for testkaohara9
143 views10 slides

Similar to Fathoming Deep Point-of-View(20)

Elements of a Story.pptxElements of a Story.pptx
Elements of a Story.pptx
RichelleLynneCu210 views
Assertiveness skillsAssertiveness skills
Assertiveness skills
Mohammed Attia635 views
Literary TermsLiterary Terms
Literary Terms
Kimberly Montague3.6K views
Practice for testPractice for test
Practice for test
kaohara9143 views
Ewrt 30 class 13Ewrt 30 class 13
Ewrt 30 class 13
jordanlachance199 views
Elements of a story powerpointElements of a story powerpoint
Elements of a story powerpoint
Joe Scully323.7K views
Descriptive Paragraph and Anecdote TextDescriptive Paragraph and Anecdote Text
Descriptive Paragraph and Anecdote Text
Inoue Dekisugi3.1K views
Grammar Grammar
Grammar
National Louis 146 views
Cw word choiceCw word choice
Cw word choice
hmfowler1.4K views
Active listeningActive listening
Active listening
rahulmyr400 views
Lesson 5 dec 3rdLesson 5 dec 3rd
Lesson 5 dec 3rd
Kit Fuderich303 views
How to write a great short storyHow to write a great short story
How to write a great short story
Carin19763.1K views
Chapter 5 Interpersonal CommunicationChapter 5 Interpersonal Communication
Chapter 5 Interpersonal Communication
marykateorzolek7.1K views

More from vIDEAn Unlimited, LLC(7)

Recently uploaded(16)

Thanksgiving Family Feud.pptxThanksgiving Family Feud.pptx
Thanksgiving Family Feud.pptx
Rhemi Culver8 views
RESUMERESUME
RESUME
bvtp649ry88 views
ZewindTV Pitch DeckZewindTV Pitch Deck
ZewindTV Pitch Deck
Darren Levy6 views
RESUME (Updated)RESUME (Updated)
RESUME (Updated)
bvtp649ry88 views
Upcoming films.pdfUpcoming films.pdf
Upcoming films.pdf
Afdah26 views
polaris scriptpolaris script
polaris script
scribdgrudge30813 views
Durley House.pdfDurley House.pdf
Durley House.pdf
victusx14997 views
NITC Casuals Quiz (General)NITC Casuals Quiz (General)
NITC Casuals Quiz (General)
Sreeram M75 views
Seq 350a.pdfSeq 350a.pdf
Seq 350a.pdf
Jose Antonio Cerro5 views
Diapositivas-GisneyS.pptxDiapositivas-GisneyS.pptx
Diapositivas-GisneyS.pptx
olivarescalona97 views
Loupz Pitch Deck-3.pdfLoupz Pitch Deck-3.pdf
Loupz Pitch Deck-3.pdf
PancrazioScalambrino7 views
ECOLUXEAwardsSeasonpre-OSCARSLounge_2024.pdfECOLUXEAwardsSeasonpre-OSCARSLounge_2024.pdf
ECOLUXEAwardsSeasonpre-OSCARSLounge_2024.pdf
Durkin Entertainment LLC80 views
Cluesday 420 by Vishnu Rao.pptxCluesday 420 by Vishnu Rao.pptx
Cluesday 420 by Vishnu Rao.pptx
Nambirajan Vanamamalai6 views

Fathoming Deep Point-of-View

  • 1. About Ann Videan Book Shepherd, author, editor, illustrator, composer • A professional writer since 1981 • Owned award-winning marketing firm, vIDEAn Unlimited, LLC, since 1996 • Editor: corporate, publishing house, and 80+ client books • Author: Rhythms & Muse, Song of the Ocarina, and Enchanted Faerie Portals • Co-owner Absolutely Wild! Enchanted Faerie Portals & Other Whimsy— inspired by Fae characters in my Delfaerune Rhapsody series Other career highlights: • 2007: Selected by peers for the Public Relations Society of America’s top honor—the PERCY Award • 2005: Selected by national panel for Crown Jewel Award— top U.S. home-based business • 2004: Served as catalyst to reintroduce white rhinos to the Phoenix Zoo • 1996: Enticed 15,000 extras to Sun Devil Stadium in Tempe, AZ, to film football movie scenes for Jerry Maguire
  • 2. Fathoming Deep Point-of-View Ann Narcisian Videan ANVidean.com Sept. 26, 2021
  • 3. Let’s talk about… Deep POV • What is it? • Specific techniques • Practice This one change in your writing can make readers react with high emotion to your story.
  • 5. The main technique to make characters “real” and “relatable.” Staying inside a character’s experience... evokes strong reader reactions.
  • 6. Stay in the action. Climb into a character’s head and... write what they taste, feel, hear, smell, and think.
  • 7. Viewpoint focuses attention so readers experience your story. Character sad? So is your reader. Character in love? So is your reader.
  • 8. Basic reasons to use deep POV: Immediacy/immersive Eliminates authorial interference Keeps readers from viewing the story “outside” the character Creates stronger emotional connections Quickens pacing Minimizes “telling”
  • 9. Can deep POV be overused? Yes, sometimes you need narrative. “Telling” is necessary for many situations. Narrative fills in gaps/speeds time.
  • 11. How to choose POV Which character has the most to lose in a scene? Use their viewpoint.
  • 12. Scene question Choose POV Set scene goal Create conflict Did the character achieve goal? [Setback]
  • 13. Setback answers the scene question Did the character achieve the goal? • Yes. [Boring] • Yes, but… [Better] • No. [Builds tension.] • No, and furthermore… [Even more tension and conflict.]
  • 14. Stay in the character’s head • Don’t’ use “she saw” or he… thought, heard, felt, wished, wondered, knew, decided, watched, realized, remembered. • It distances the reader from the action and takes him/her outside of the character’s head.
  • 15. Example Distanced: • I feel my hands shaking uncontrollably. [present] Deep: • My hands shake uncontrollably. [present] • My hands shook uncontrollably. [past]
  • 16. Example Distanced: I heard the woman take a large intake of breath. Deep: The woman inhaled a deep breath.
  • 17. Practice Reword this sentence into deep POV. • She located a bug high on the wall and stared at it while she reached for the closest weapon, her shoe.
  • 18. Practice Distant: • She located a bug high on the wall and stared at it while she reached for the closest weapon, her shoe. Deep: A bug on the wall above her head riveted her gaze while one hand drifted downward to the closest weapon, her shoe.
  • 19. Write realistic internal dialogue If someone offered your starving character food, what would s/he actually think? Distanced: • He held out an apple and her stomach responded with strong gratitude for something to quell her hunger. Deep: • Her stomach lurched at the sight of the apple he held out to her. Thank God he brought me something to eat!
  • 20. Don’t simply name emotions Show the character’s physical and emotional reaction in detail. Distanced: • As the monster’s head rounded the corner, terror gripped Joe. Deep: • The monster’s head rounded the corner, and Joe’s whole body shook, loosening a trickle of sweat that rolled along his spine.
  • 21. Physical/emotional/ mental reactions What are some physical (visible) reactions for these emotions? • Shyness • Anger • Surprise Emotional (internal) reactions? Mental reactions (thoughts)?
  • 22. Character flaws make characters real Give characters and readers strong conflict, causing high emotion: Work in the character’s weakness, scars, and emotional despair. Examples: If the character has abandonment issues, kidnap someone in her family. Is he’s insecure, put him in a situation requiring bravery to overcome a problem no one else can, or is willing to, solve.
  • 23. Emotional/sequential reaction* When something happens, humans react in this order: • Emotion • “Oh, darn!” or teeth gnashing • Review, logic, and reason • What just happened? Was I at fault? Is anyone hurt? • Anticipation • What’s going to happen. What do I do? • Choice • What steps do I take? Who do I call? *per author/professor Deborah Chester, Fantasy Fiction Formula
  • 24. Start action with POV character To keep a reader connected, start almost all action with the POV character. Okay: Jarrod plopped down next to Austin and nudged him in the ribs. Better: Austin flinched as Jarrod plopped down next to him, too close, his bony elbow jabbing his ribcage.* *Example from author Jessica Morrell
  • 25. Limit use of main character’s name Use the main character’s name as seldom as possible because, in the POV character’s head, they won’t often, if ever, think of themselves using their name. This is tricky because you need to make clear which character is talking or acting in the moment. Identify them through other means…
  • 26. Unique dialogue/ “thinking voice” Use word choices from their vocabulary and experience. Assign specific favorite phrases. Example, if your character is Australian: • Use “G’day, mate,” or • “That guy has a punch like a kangaroo kick,” or • “We’ve traveled far enough to be in the outback by now.”
  • 27. Consistent, but varied physical reactions Where does the character most often feel physical reactions? Stomach vs. head vs. something else? Examples, if your character’s reactions often involve her heart in moments of high emotion: • He hugged her, and an immediate tattoo of rapid percussion battered her ribs. • She watched him walk away as a dull ache squeezed her heart.
  • 28. Individual mannerisms Identify all characters, using specific mannerisms. POV character should have habits but can also notice others’. Examples: POV character often places one finger on her forehead while thinking, twirls when happy, or tightens her eyes when worried. Other character often grins broadly, talks with his hands, feigns death when teased.
  • 29. Deep POV uses strong active verbs Jessica Morrell calls them “word grenades” when they deliver force. Her examples: • Okay: The vandals made a total wreck of our apartment. • Better: The vandals savaged our apartment. • Okay: The man ate the meal hungrily. • Better: He ate at the edge of the fire, slavering like an animal.
  • 30. Brainstorm active verbs What action could a character take while feeling the following emotion? • Great joy • Insignificant • Desire • Shame • Impatience They might… [suggest a verb]
  • 32. Scene handout Read and detect issues on the provided scene. Rewrite it using the techniques of Deep POV and active verbiage.
  • 33. Cheat sheet for deep POV Stay in POV character’s head Use realistic internal dialogue Don’t simply name emotions, show the physical, emotional reaction Involve character flaws to heighten conflict Use the sequence of emotional reaction Start almost all action with the POV character Limit use of main character’s name Use strong active verbs Did you choose a POV character with the most to lose?
  • 34. Q&A
  • 35. Allow me to help… Next presentation: I’m available to your group! My consultation discount for you: 1.5 hours for $50 Writing tips at: ANVidean.com 602.769.8316 ann@annvidean.com

Editor's Notes

  1. Powerpoint at: https://www.slideshare.net/avidean/edit_my_uploads Deep POV • What is it? • Specific techniques • Practice This one change in your writing can make readers react with high emotion to your story.
  2. Peter Elbow, Writing With Power, describes it: “A reader is engaged at every moment in making a choice of whether to invest the energy required to have the actual experience implied in the words, or merely to read the directions for constructing an experience.” Jessica Morrell, author of writing books, and speaker, in Portland, OR “Deep viewpoint or point of view allows the reader to feel and experience exactly what your characters feel and experience. Authors who use deep viewpoint effectively create stories that are emotionally involving and immersive—characters come to life and the reader identifies with them.” Let’s learn specific tips on how to delve into a character’s experience to develop vibrant emotional connections with a reader.
  3. What makes a book character “real as life” to a reader? To a great extent, it boils down to one powerful writing technique. Deep point-of-view (POV) It results in stronger reader reactions to characters. Whether adoration or hate, emotions run high. You can achieve this subliminal attachment by staying deep inside a character’s head. The goal… relate their experiences so a reader shares every intimate sensation of thought, sight, hearing, taste, smell, and tactical contact.
  4. You can achieve this subliminal attachment by staying deep inside a character’s head. The goal… relate their experiences so a reader shares every intimate sensation of thought, sight, hearing, taste, smell, and tactical contact.
  5. Viewpoint is the ‘lens’ through which readers see and experience the story. Deep viewpoint comes from within a character, pulled in for perceptions, close-ups, internal dialogue, and thoughts. It’s particularly effective when characters are afraid, endangered, and in intimate situations.   When the character becomes sad, so does the reader. When the character falls in love, so does the reader.
  6. Basics reasons to use deep POV: Immediacy/immersive Eliminates authorial interference, like when a character thinks about hair color Makes readers experience the story instead of feeling like they’re viewing the story from outside the character. Creates stronger emotional connections between reader and characters Quickens pacing Minimizes telling
  7. Yes, deep POV is great for intimate, emotional moments, dangerous action scenes, and the “dark night of the soul” scene, but sometimes narrative is needed. “Telling” is necessary: quick summaries, backstory, setting and data needed to understand a scene, situation, or circumstance. Narrative fills in the gaps in a story such as transitions and can speed up time. And can set up key scenes.
  8. Mostly for fiction, but applies to nonfiction “characters,” too.
  9. Who has most to lose in scene? Use their viewpoint. This is part of Deborah Chester’s scene question.
  10. Scene question: Choose POV GOAL, active and specific CONFLICT, happens between characters Setback asks question, did POV character achieve goal [SETBACK]
  11. Setback asks question, did POV character achieve goal? Yes. Boring Yes, but… Better No. Builds tension. No, and furthermore… Even more tension and conflict. What you want to show in the scene is the character’s deep viewpoint on what’s happening to them.   So how do you do this?
  12. Stay in character’s head. Don’t’ use “she saw…” or thought, heard, felt, wished, wondered, knew, decided, watched, realized, remembered. It distances the reader from the action, takes you outside the character’s head.
  13. Examples. I feel my hands shaking uncontrollably. My hands shake uncontrollably. [present] My hands shook uncontrollably [past]
  14. Example Distanced: I heard the woman take a large intake of breath. Deep: The woman inhaled a deep breath.
  15. Third person, past tense She located a bug high on the wall and stared at it while she reached for the closest weapon, her shoe.   A bug on the wall above her head riveted her gaze while one hand drifted downward to the closest weapon, her shoe.   Third person, present tense She locates a bug high on the wall and stares at it while she reaches for the closest weapon, her shoe.   A bug on the wall above her head rivets her gaze while one hand drifted downward to the closest weapon, her shoe.     First person, present tense I locate a bug high on the wall and stare at it while I reach for the closest weapon, my shoe.   A bug on the wall above my head rivets my gaze while one of my hands drifts downward to the closest weapon, my shoe.
  16. If someone offered your starving character food, how would she react and what would s/he actually think? Distanced: He held out an apple and her stomach responded with strong gratitude for something to quell her hunger. Deep: Her stomach lurched at the sight of the apple he held out to her. Thank God he brought me something to eat! Note: A character’s thoughts don’t always need to be italicized or labeled.
  17. Don’t simply name emotions Show the physical, emotional reaction Show the character’s physical and emotional reaction in detail.   Distanced: As the monster’s head rounded the corner, terror gripped Joe. Deep: As the monster’s head rounded the corner, Joe’s whole body shook, loosening a trickle of sweat that rolled along his spine.
  18. BRAINSTORM Physical/emotional/mental reactions What are some physical reactions for these emotions… Shyness = digging toe Anger = clenched jaw Surprise = eyes widening Emotional reactions? Shyness = blushing Anger = sweating Surprise = jerking Mental reactions? Shyness = urge to leave Anger = Not listening Surprise = desire to hide
  19. Character flaws make characters real Give characters and readers strong conflict, causing high emotion: Work in the character’s weakness, scars, and emotional despair. Examples: If the character has abandonment issues, kidnap someone in her family. Is he’s insecure, put him in a situation requiring bravery to overcome a problem no one else can, or is willing to, solve.
  20. Emotional/sequential reaction* When something happens, characters react in this order: Emotion “Oh, darn!” or teeth gnashing Review, logic, and reason What just happened? Was I at fault? Is anyone hurt? Anticipation What’s going to happen. What do I do? Choice What steps do I take? Who do I call? *per author/professor Deborah Chester in Fantasy Fiction Formula
  21. Start action with POV character To keep the reader connected, start almost all action with the POV character. Okay: Jarrod plopped down next to Austin and nudged him in the ribs. Better: Austin flinched as Jarrod plopped down next to him, too close, his bony elbow jabbing his ribcage.* Example from author Jessica Morrell
  22. – Limit use of main character’s name   Use the main character’s name as seldom as possible because, in the POV character’s head, they won’t often, if ever, think of themselves using their name.   This is tricky because you need to make clear which character is talking or acting in the moment. Identify them through other means…
  23. Through unique dialogue and “thinking voice,” using word choices from their vocabulary and experience. Assign specific favorite phrases. Example, if your character is Australian: Use “G’day, mate,” or “That guy has a punch like a kangaroo kick,” or “We’ve traveled far enough to be in the outback by now.”
  24. Consistent, but varied, physical reactions Where do physical reactions center for the character? Stomach vs. head vs. something else?   Examples, if your character’s reactions often involve her heart in moments of high emotion: He hugged her, and an immediate tattoo of rapid percussion battered her ribs. She watched him walk away as a dull ache squeezed her heart.
  25. Individual mannerisms ID all characters, using specific mannerisms. POV character should have habits, but can also notice others’. Examples: POV character often places one finger on her forehead while thinking, twirls when happy, or tightens her eyes when worried. Other character often grins broadly, talks with his hands, feigns death when teased.
  26. Deep POV uses strong active verbs Jessica Morrell calls them “word grenades” when they deliver force.   Her examples: Okay: The vandals made a total wreck of our apartment. Better: The vandals savaged our apartment. Okay: The man ate the meal hungrily. Better: He ate at the edge of the fire, slavering like an animal.
  27. Brainstorm active verbs What actions could a character take while feeling… Great joy: jump, shout, laugh Insignificant: cower, clutch an item, fidget Desire: wink, smolder, stalk Shame: hide, blush, blubber Impatience: tap foot, scowl, explode They might… [suggest a verb]
  28. Here’s how that works… I will email you a practice sheet for deep POV if you’ll add your email to the chat.
  29. Scene handout Read and spy issues on the provided scene. Rewrite it using the techniques of Deep POV and active verbiage.
  30. Cheat sheet: These are the deep POV ideas we covered today.   Stay in POV character’s head Use realistic internal dialogue Don’t simply name emotions, show the physical, emotional reaction Involve character flaws to heighten conflict Use the sequence of emotional reaction Start almost all action with the POV character Limit use of main character’s name Use strong active verbs Did you choose a POV character with the most to lose?
  31. Ask me anything…
  32. If you need more input... Next presentation: I’m available to your group! My consultation discount for you: 1.5 hours for $50 Writing tips at: ANVidean.com 602.769.8316 ann@annvidean.com