![Scene question
Choose POV
Set scene goal
Create conflict
Did the character achieve
goal?
[Setback]](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/21-210926143910/75/fathoming-deep-pointofview-12-2048.jpg?cb=1670011895)
![Setback answers the
scene question
Did the character achieve the goal?
• Yes. [Boring]
• Yes, but… [Better]
• No. [Builds tension.]
• No, and furthermore…
[Even more tension and conflict.]](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/21-210926143910/75/fathoming-deep-pointofview-13-2048.jpg?cb=1670011895)
![Example
Distanced:
• I feel my hands shaking uncontrollably.
[present]
Deep:
• My hands shake uncontrollably.
[present]
• My hands shook uncontrollably.
[past]](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/21-210926143910/75/fathoming-deep-pointofview-15-2048.jpg?cb=1670011895)
![Brainstorm active verbs
What action could a character take while
feeling the following emotion?
• Great joy
• Insignificant
• Desire
• Shame
• Impatience
They might… [suggest a verb]](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/21-210926143910/75/fathoming-deep-pointofview-30-2048.jpg?cb=1670011895)
Fathoming Deep Point-of-View
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What makes a book character “real as life” to a reader? To a great extent it boils down to one powerful writing technique. Deep point-of-view (POV) results in stronger reader reactions to characters. Whether adoration or hate, emotions run high. You can achieve this subliminal attachment by staying deep inside a character’s head. The goal… relate their experiences so a reader shares every intimate sensation of thought, sight, hearing, taste, smell, and tactical contact. If you want to learn specific tips on how to delve into a character’s experience to develop vibrant emotional connections with a reader, you won’t want to miss this two-hour workshop with Book Shepherd Ann Videan.
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Fathoming Deep Point-of-View
- 1. About Ann Videan Book Shepherd, author, editor, illustrator, composer • A professional writer since 1981 • Owned award-winning marketing firm, vIDEAn Unlimited, LLC, since 1996 • Editor: corporate, publishing house, and 80+ client books • Author: Rhythms & Muse, Song of the Ocarina, and Enchanted Faerie Portals • Co-owner Absolutely Wild! Enchanted Faerie Portals & Other Whimsy— inspired by Fae characters in my Delfaerune Rhapsody series Other career highlights: • 2007: Selected by peers for the Public Relations Society of America’s top honor—the PERCY Award • 2005: Selected by national panel for Crown Jewel Award— top U.S. home-based business • 2004: Served as catalyst to reintroduce white rhinos to the Phoenix Zoo • 1996: Enticed 15,000 extras to Sun Devil Stadium in Tempe, AZ, to film football movie scenes for Jerry Maguire
- 2. Fathoming Deep Point-of-View Ann Narcisian Videan ANVidean.com Sept. 26, 2021
- 3. Let’s talk about… Deep POV • What is it? • Specific techniques • Practice This one change in your writing can make readers react with high emotion to your story.
- 4. What even is deep POV?
- 5. The main technique to make characters “real” and “relatable.” Staying inside a character’s experience... evokes strong reader reactions.
- 6. Stay in the action. Climb into a character’s head and... write what they taste, feel, hear, smell, and think.
- 7. Viewpoint focuses attention so readers experience your story. Character sad? So is your reader. Character in love? So is your reader.
- 8. Basic reasons to use deep POV: Immediacy/immersive Eliminates authorial interference Keeps readers from viewing the story “outside” the character Creates stronger emotional connections Quickens pacing Minimizes “telling”
- 9. Can deep POV be overused? Yes, sometimes you need narrative. “Telling” is necessary for many situations. Narrative fills in gaps/speeds time.
- 11. How to choose POV Which character has the most to lose in a scene? Use their viewpoint.
- 12. Scene question Choose POV Set scene goal Create conflict Did the character achieve goal? [Setback]
- 13. Setback answers the scene question Did the character achieve the goal? • Yes. [Boring] • Yes, but… [Better] • No. [Builds tension.] • No, and furthermore… [Even more tension and conflict.]
- 14. Stay in the character’s head • Don’t’ use “she saw” or he… thought, heard, felt, wished, wondered, knew, decided, watched, realized, remembered. • It distances the reader from the action and takes him/her outside of the character’s head.
- 15. Example Distanced: • I feel my hands shaking uncontrollably. [present] Deep: • My hands shake uncontrollably. [present] • My hands shook uncontrollably. [past]
- 16. Example Distanced: I heard the woman take a large intake of breath. Deep: The woman inhaled a deep breath.
- 17. Practice Reword this sentence into deep POV. • She located a bug high on the wall and stared at it while she reached for the closest weapon, her shoe.
- 18. Practice Distant: • She located a bug high on the wall and stared at it while she reached for the closest weapon, her shoe. Deep: A bug on the wall above her head riveted her gaze while one hand drifted downward to the closest weapon, her shoe.
- 19. Write realistic internal dialogue If someone offered your starving character food, what would s/he actually think? Distanced: • He held out an apple and her stomach responded with strong gratitude for something to quell her hunger. Deep: • Her stomach lurched at the sight of the apple he held out to her. Thank God he brought me something to eat!
- 20. Don’t simply name emotions Show the character’s physical and emotional reaction in detail. Distanced: • As the monster’s head rounded the corner, terror gripped Joe. Deep: • The monster’s head rounded the corner, and Joe’s whole body shook, loosening a trickle of sweat that rolled along his spine.
- 21. Physical/emotional/ mental reactions What are some physical (visible) reactions for these emotions? • Shyness • Anger • Surprise Emotional (internal) reactions? Mental reactions (thoughts)?
- 22. Character flaws make characters real Give characters and readers strong conflict, causing high emotion: Work in the character’s weakness, scars, and emotional despair. Examples: If the character has abandonment issues, kidnap someone in her family. Is he’s insecure, put him in a situation requiring bravery to overcome a problem no one else can, or is willing to, solve.
- 23. Emotional/sequential reaction* When something happens, humans react in this order: • Emotion • “Oh, darn!” or teeth gnashing • Review, logic, and reason • What just happened? Was I at fault? Is anyone hurt? • Anticipation • What’s going to happen. What do I do? • Choice • What steps do I take? Who do I call? *per author/professor Deborah Chester, Fantasy Fiction Formula
- 24. Start action with POV character To keep a reader connected, start almost all action with the POV character. Okay: Jarrod plopped down next to Austin and nudged him in the ribs. Better: Austin flinched as Jarrod plopped down next to him, too close, his bony elbow jabbing his ribcage.* *Example from author Jessica Morrell
- 25. Limit use of main character’s name Use the main character’s name as seldom as possible because, in the POV character’s head, they won’t often, if ever, think of themselves using their name. This is tricky because you need to make clear which character is talking or acting in the moment. Identify them through other means…
- 26. Unique dialogue/ “thinking voice” Use word choices from their vocabulary and experience. Assign specific favorite phrases. Example, if your character is Australian: • Use “G’day, mate,” or • “That guy has a punch like a kangaroo kick,” or • “We’ve traveled far enough to be in the outback by now.”
- 27. Consistent, but varied physical reactions Where does the character most often feel physical reactions? Stomach vs. head vs. something else? Examples, if your character’s reactions often involve her heart in moments of high emotion: • He hugged her, and an immediate tattoo of rapid percussion battered her ribs. • She watched him walk away as a dull ache squeezed her heart.
- 28. Individual mannerisms Identify all characters, using specific mannerisms. POV character should have habits but can also notice others’. Examples: POV character often places one finger on her forehead while thinking, twirls when happy, or tightens her eyes when worried. Other character often grins broadly, talks with his hands, feigns death when teased.
- 29. Deep POV uses strong active verbs Jessica Morrell calls them “word grenades” when they deliver force. Her examples: • Okay: The vandals made a total wreck of our apartment. • Better: The vandals savaged our apartment. • Okay: The man ate the meal hungrily. • Better: He ate at the edge of the fire, slavering like an animal.
- 30. Brainstorm active verbs What action could a character take while feeling the following emotion? • Great joy • Insignificant • Desire • Shame • Impatience They might… [suggest a verb]
- 31. Homework
- 32. Scene handout Read and detect issues on the provided scene. Rewrite it using the techniques of Deep POV and active verbiage.
- 33. Cheat sheet for deep POV Stay in POV character’s head Use realistic internal dialogue Don’t simply name emotions, show the physical, emotional reaction Involve character flaws to heighten conflict Use the sequence of emotional reaction Start almost all action with the POV character Limit use of main character’s name Use strong active verbs Did you choose a POV character with the most to lose?
- 34. Q&A
- 35. Allow me to help… Next presentation: I’m available to your group! My consultation discount for you: 1.5 hours for $50 Writing tips at: ANVidean.com 602.769.8316 ann@annvidean.com
Editor's Notes
- Powerpoint at: https://www.slideshare.net/avidean/edit_my_uploads Deep POV • What is it? • Specific techniques • Practice This one change in your writing can make readers react with high emotion to your story.
- Peter Elbow, Writing With Power, describes it: “A reader is engaged at every moment in making a choice of whether to invest the energy required to have the actual experience implied in the words, or merely to read the directions for constructing an experience.” Jessica Morrell, author of writing books, and speaker, in Portland, OR “Deep viewpoint or point of view allows the reader to feel and experience exactly what your characters feel and experience. Authors who use deep viewpoint effectively create stories that are emotionally involving and immersive—characters come to life and the reader identifies with them.” Let’s learn specific tips on how to delve into a character’s experience to develop vibrant emotional connections with a reader.
- What makes a book character “real as life” to a reader? To a great extent, it boils down to one powerful writing technique. Deep point-of-view (POV) It results in stronger reader reactions to characters. Whether adoration or hate, emotions run high. You can achieve this subliminal attachment by staying deep inside a character’s head. The goal… relate their experiences so a reader shares every intimate sensation of thought, sight, hearing, taste, smell, and tactical contact.
- You can achieve this subliminal attachment by staying deep inside a character’s head. The goal… relate their experiences so a reader shares every intimate sensation of thought, sight, hearing, taste, smell, and tactical contact.
- Viewpoint is the ‘lens’ through which readers see and experience the story. Deep viewpoint comes from within a character, pulled in for perceptions, close-ups, internal dialogue, and thoughts. It’s particularly effective when characters are afraid, endangered, and in intimate situations. When the character becomes sad, so does the reader. When the character falls in love, so does the reader.
- Basics reasons to use deep POV: Immediacy/immersive Eliminates authorial interference, like when a character thinks about hair color Makes readers experience the story instead of feeling like they’re viewing the story from outside the character. Creates stronger emotional connections between reader and characters Quickens pacing Minimizes telling
- Yes, deep POV is great for intimate, emotional moments, dangerous action scenes, and the “dark night of the soul” scene, but sometimes narrative is needed. “Telling” is necessary: quick summaries, backstory, setting and data needed to understand a scene, situation, or circumstance. Narrative fills in the gaps in a story such as transitions and can speed up time. And can set up key scenes.
- Mostly for fiction, but applies to nonfiction “characters,” too.
- Who has most to lose in scene? Use their viewpoint. This is part of Deborah Chester’s scene question.
- Scene question: Choose POV GOAL, active and specific CONFLICT, happens between characters Setback asks question, did POV character achieve goal [SETBACK]
- Setback asks question, did POV character achieve goal? Yes. Boring Yes, but… Better No. Builds tension. No, and furthermore… Even more tension and conflict. What you want to show in the scene is the character’s deep viewpoint on what’s happening to them. So how do you do this?
- Stay in character’s head. Don’t’ use “she saw…” or thought, heard, felt, wished, wondered, knew, decided, watched, realized, remembered. It distances the reader from the action, takes you outside the character’s head.
- Examples. I feel my hands shaking uncontrollably. My hands shake uncontrollably. [present] My hands shook uncontrollably [past]
- Example Distanced: I heard the woman take a large intake of breath. Deep: The woman inhaled a deep breath.
- Third person, past tense She located a bug high on the wall and stared at it while she reached for the closest weapon, her shoe. A bug on the wall above her head riveted her gaze while one hand drifted downward to the closest weapon, her shoe. Third person, present tense She locates a bug high on the wall and stares at it while she reaches for the closest weapon, her shoe. A bug on the wall above her head rivets her gaze while one hand drifted downward to the closest weapon, her shoe. First person, present tense I locate a bug high on the wall and stare at it while I reach for the closest weapon, my shoe. A bug on the wall above my head rivets my gaze while one of my hands drifts downward to the closest weapon, my shoe.
- If someone offered your starving character food, how would she react and what would s/he actually think? Distanced: He held out an apple and her stomach responded with strong gratitude for something to quell her hunger. Deep: Her stomach lurched at the sight of the apple he held out to her. Thank God he brought me something to eat! Note: A character’s thoughts don’t always need to be italicized or labeled.
- Don’t simply name emotions Show the physical, emotional reaction Show the character’s physical and emotional reaction in detail. Distanced: As the monster’s head rounded the corner, terror gripped Joe. Deep: As the monster’s head rounded the corner, Joe’s whole body shook, loosening a trickle of sweat that rolled along his spine.
- BRAINSTORM Physical/emotional/mental reactions What are some physical reactions for these emotions… Shyness = digging toe Anger = clenched jaw Surprise = eyes widening Emotional reactions? Shyness = blushing Anger = sweating Surprise = jerking Mental reactions? Shyness = urge to leave Anger = Not listening Surprise = desire to hide
- Character flaws make characters real Give characters and readers strong conflict, causing high emotion: Work in the character’s weakness, scars, and emotional despair. Examples: If the character has abandonment issues, kidnap someone in her family. Is he’s insecure, put him in a situation requiring bravery to overcome a problem no one else can, or is willing to, solve.
- Emotional/sequential reaction* When something happens, characters react in this order: Emotion “Oh, darn!” or teeth gnashing Review, logic, and reason What just happened? Was I at fault? Is anyone hurt? Anticipation What’s going to happen. What do I do? Choice What steps do I take? Who do I call? *per author/professor Deborah Chester in Fantasy Fiction Formula
- Start action with POV character To keep the reader connected, start almost all action with the POV character. Okay: Jarrod plopped down next to Austin and nudged him in the ribs. Better: Austin flinched as Jarrod plopped down next to him, too close, his bony elbow jabbing his ribcage.* Example from author Jessica Morrell
- – Limit use of main character’s name Use the main character’s name as seldom as possible because, in the POV character’s head, they won’t often, if ever, think of themselves using their name. This is tricky because you need to make clear which character is talking or acting in the moment. Identify them through other means…
- Through unique dialogue and “thinking voice,” using word choices from their vocabulary and experience. Assign specific favorite phrases. Example, if your character is Australian: Use “G’day, mate,” or “That guy has a punch like a kangaroo kick,” or “We’ve traveled far enough to be in the outback by now.”
- Consistent, but varied, physical reactions Where do physical reactions center for the character? Stomach vs. head vs. something else? Examples, if your character’s reactions often involve her heart in moments of high emotion: He hugged her, and an immediate tattoo of rapid percussion battered her ribs. She watched him walk away as a dull ache squeezed her heart.
- Individual mannerisms ID all characters, using specific mannerisms. POV character should have habits, but can also notice others’. Examples: POV character often places one finger on her forehead while thinking, twirls when happy, or tightens her eyes when worried. Other character often grins broadly, talks with his hands, feigns death when teased.
- Deep POV uses strong active verbs Jessica Morrell calls them “word grenades” when they deliver force. Her examples: Okay: The vandals made a total wreck of our apartment. Better: The vandals savaged our apartment. Okay: The man ate the meal hungrily. Better: He ate at the edge of the fire, slavering like an animal.
- Brainstorm active verbs What actions could a character take while feeling… Great joy: jump, shout, laugh Insignificant: cower, clutch an item, fidget Desire: wink, smolder, stalk Shame: hide, blush, blubber Impatience: tap foot, scowl, explode They might… [suggest a verb]
- Here’s how that works… I will email you a practice sheet for deep POV if you’ll add your email to the chat.
- Scene handout Read and spy issues on the provided scene. Rewrite it using the techniques of Deep POV and active verbiage.
- Cheat sheet: These are the deep POV ideas we covered today. Stay in POV character’s head Use realistic internal dialogue Don’t simply name emotions, show the physical, emotional reaction Involve character flaws to heighten conflict Use the sequence of emotional reaction Start almost all action with the POV character Limit use of main character’s name Use strong active verbs Did you choose a POV character with the most to lose?
- Ask me anything…
- If you need more input... Next presentation: I’m available to your group! My consultation discount for you: 1.5 hours for $50 Writing tips at: ANVidean.com 602.769.8316 ann@annvidean.com