Mothers guilt is real. Nearly all of usexperience it. We are racked with guilt,feeling that our best isnt good enough.We struggle when work commitmentsprevent us from attending school eventsand we are crushed by the looks ofdisappointment on our childrens faces.We wonder if choices we have made,such as what school to send our kids to,have not had far-reaching negativeconsequences, if a different path wouldhave resulted in happier, more well-adjusted kids.
We moms might feel guilty when wecant afford something for our kids orare nagged by the feeling that wesimply dont spend enough time withthem.
All moms, even the most amazing,attentive and committed moms, feel atsome point that they are not goodenough. A Pew Research Center surveyfound that the number of moms whowant to work full-time is declining, from32 percent to 21 percent between 1997and 2007, indicating that mommy guiltis getting the better of many Americanwomen. No matter what we do right asparents, we tend to more often focus onour failings.
Mothers guilt frequently visits me as Iprepare my three children for theirschool day. Maybe I realize that, on acold day, Ive forgotten gloves and a hatfor my 6-year-old or that the childrenwent to school and left their lunchboxes on the counter. Just recently, Iforgot to bring the plates for a schoolparty and immediately felt guilty whenmy son said, "Mom, why did you bringthe plates so late?" I had an excuse,but my son could care less that I postedbringing the plates to his schoolfunction on the wrong date in myelectronic calendar.
Mothers guilt isnt going anywhereand we all will be stricken with it atsome time or another. Think aboutyour own mother. She has probablyshared with you her memories ofparenting and what she believes shecould have done differently to impactyour life for the better.
Here are my personal rules for silencing mothers guilt
• Get real. Understand that perfection and parenting isridiculous. Accept that you will make mistakes and be honestwith your children when you drop the ball.• Stop judging yourself. Your best is good enough. Stopcomparing your best to other classroom moms, workingparents and neighborhood families. Live out your own storyand stop attempting to star in someone elses drama.• Turn in your supermom cape. Acknowledge that love is theonly requirement to becoming a supermom.• Keep it positive. Focus on the positive things that you aredoing. Instead of looking at what isnt working with yourparenting, ask yourself, "What am I doing right?" Ask yourchildren the same question. Their answers might surpriseyou.
• Laugh. Learn to laugh at your flubs.• Know that a little guilt makes you healthy. It meansthat you care about your family and the way that theyexperience you.• Dont sweat the small stuff. Sometimes we are ourown worst critics. Breathe in and blow it out. Tomorrowis a new day.• Create a supportive community for yourself. Considerjoining in with a group of moms that are non-judgmentaland supportive.
Mothers guilt is only natural and is theconsequence of wanting to be a goodmother to your children. However, in theend it will only weigh you down.Consider my tips and shed those extrapounds! Youll find that you feel lighter,happier, and more ready and willing toenjoy motherhood for the important andfulfilling experience that it is. And whenfaced with the disappointing fact thatyou are not capable of providing yourchildren with everything you want forthem, remember that no child that grewup with love in their home was leftwanting.
Are you ready to commit better Self-Care? vis www.TimeForMom- it Me.comMe and a community of Momswill help you! Mia Redrick