Parenting of Busy Family

1. Organized by Dr Rupa Talukdar www.mind-eye.in A discussion on Parents and family

2. Temperament of your child What is TEMPERAMENT? General emotional state of a child. It permanently affects their behaviour. Child of different temperaments:  The Easy Child  The Difficult Child  The Slow to Warm up child

3. The Easy Child Just recognize the easy child:  Cheerful  Adaptable  Can fit easily in routine structure  Quickly establish relation with other children  Has sharing approach  Easily accommodate in new environment

4. The Difficult Child • Irregular daily routine-not willing to follow instructions • Slow to accept new experience • Always reacts negatively • Intense emotion-forceful • Not friendly with others • Irritation without any serious cause • Intolerance towards any change-of person around him/situation/environment

5. Slow to Warm up Child •Initially shy-slowly becomes friendly •Low key reactions to environment •Negative in mood •Can adjust slowly to new experiences •Bit fearful, but can overcome at time

6. An IDEA of your pattern of PARENTING How is your Parenting Style? 4-Types of parenting are there. Know the type of yours-it’s important

7. Dominating/ Authoritarian Parenting Rigid Not listener Strict Demanding Likes to rule than becoming empathetic The guardian Prefers punishment instead of giving scope to explainNot responsive to the reasons of child’s difficulties

8. Permissive Parenting Too much friendly Permissive Giving indulgence Nontraditional and Lenient Less discipline Avoidance More responsive to the demand of child Allow considerable self-regulation Avoid confrontation

9. Positive/ Authoritative Parenting Assertiv e Flexible but not permissive Empathetic DemocraticListener Observer Nurturer & forgiving rather giving punishment

10. Neglected/ Uninvolved Parenting Care free Neglect their child Detached Less communicative Low responsiveness Even reject or neglect the needs of their children.

11. Part-I Child behaviour denotes your Parentimng style My child and My family Under Dominating Parenting: Children may become obedient and proficient, but they rank lower in happiness, social competence and self-esteem Under Permissive Parenting: Children rank low in happiness and self-regulation. These children are more likely to experience problems with authority and tend to perform poorly in school. Under Authoritative Parenting: Children are happy, capable and successful Under Neglected /uninvolved Parenting: Children tend to lack self-control, have low self-esteem and are less competent than their peers.

12. Today's children are the first day-care generation -they are more world wise The first generation defined by computers and television The first post-sexual revolution generation( same sex intimacy) The first generation to grow up in an integrated schools The first generation in which both parents usually are employed.

13. How to be a parent anew: towards a strong family concept When family life is a mutual growth experience for both parents and children, the results are strong families that contribute not only to the development of their members but to the development of their communities and society as well. In strong families parents encourage each other's growth both as individuals and as partners of a family set up. Parents are not totally trapped in their children's lives. As a result their children have self-esteem, a sense of autonomy, and well-developed self-concepts.

14. Setting a Family Priority Parental authority involves setting family priorities for mothering, fathering, homemaking, and careers; for managing stress; and for arranging family routines. Investigate all of the options available at your workplace -- nearby day care, shared job options, flexible-time arrangements, and sick leave for when your child is ill. Learn to compartmentalize. When you work, be there. When you are at home, be there. Find others to share your stress -- peer or family resource groups: Include your spouse in the work of the family. Face the realities of working and childrearing: no "supermom" or "superbaby" fantasies.

15. Learn to save up energy in the workplace to be ready for homecoming. Plan for children to fall apart when you arrive home after work. Gather the entire family when you walk in. Sit in a big chair until everyone is close again. When the children squirm to get down, you can turn to chores and housework. Take children along as you do chores and teach them to help with the housework. Do not let yourself be overwhelmed by stress. Instead, enjoy the pleasures of solving problems together and working as a team. Setting a Family Priority

16. In busy family set up When it is difficult to be together because of busy and conflicting schedules, write notes to each other. Care and support for another family member can be expressed in notes in lunch bags, school notebooks, or on the refrigerator. Make mealtimes an important family time with no television at least twice a week. Meals are a good time for family devotions, conversations, and laughter

17. In busy family set up Hold regular family meetings in which all members are encouraged to discuss concerns, to make plans, and to solve problems. Take vacations and short trips that the family can experience together and share memories about. Do family projects together on weekends, such as decorating a room or planting a garden. Schedule husband- wife times away from the children periodically. Find time to be alone with each child.

18. Motherhood and Fatherhood: a time to change the age old concept The stereotypes of the father as the breadwinner for a family and the mother as a homemaker are no longer dominant. Fatherhood and motherhood refer to relationships between parents and children, not who pays the bills. From the emotional and material points of view motherhood and fatherhood are virtually interchangeable. Both relationships are nurturing and supportive From a child's point of view the need to have a mother and a father is very strong that children make up their own images of a mother or a father if they do not have one in their lives : so basis of differences are something like emotional attachment or bonding.

19. Vital issues in family life revolve around “I” Intimacy: in the family develops emotional bonds that integrate ambivalent love-hate emotions and that balance personal needs for interaction and privacy. Identification: is the process in which parents, children, and siblings reciprocally absorb each other's qualities and share experiences Influence : each other through the exercise of power in their relationships and their moral values. That influence is the most constructive when leader-follower roles alternate appropriately between family members and when moral values are modeled by the parents.

20. Vital issues in family life revolve around “I” Irrationality: is tolerated in families when the expression of irrational fantasies, emotions, and behavior is identified and then is channeled into realistic outlets. Industry: in families is developing the coping abilities of family members through planning, resolving conflicts, the allocation of responsibilities in the family, acquiring resources, and adapting to change.

21. Mind That : A baby and parent interact at different times as •A nursing couple • A talking couple •A learning couple & •A playing couple Interacting with the young can refreshingly help to keep adults young in spirit.

22. Part-II How to come out: My child and My Parenting from the SLANT of Handwriting

23. Part-II How to come out: My child and My Parenting from the SLANT of Handwriting

24. Samples of Original Writings of Children

25. Part-II My child and My Parenting from the Handwriting Child is in Anxiety-The source of all difficulties No Curves-rigid and retraced writing

26. How is the pattern of the strokes of A to Z in HW

27. Part-III How to understand child is in Emotional Crisis from HW

28. Part-III How to write- and what will be the direction of flow of HW

31. Thank YOU for giving your Patient EAR Thanks from,