The High 5 Habit: It’s time to cheer for yourself
-Mel Robbins
Publisher : Hay House Inc. (September 28, 2021)
The High 5 Habit is a self-improvement book that aims to help anyone who deals with self-limitations take charge of their life by establishing a morning routine, ditching negative talk, and transforming their life through positivity and confidence.
ขอมือเธอหน่อย
คุณเคยรู้สึกว่าคุณสูญเสียจุดมุ่งหมาย หรือคิดไม่ออกว่าคุณยังต้องการมุ่งเพื่อสิ่งนั้นหรือไม่? คุณตื่นมาแล้วรู้สึกเหนื่อย ราวกับว่าคุณรู้อยู่แล้วว่าวันของคุณจะเป็นอย่างไร และไม่อยากลุกจากเตียงหรือไม่?
หากคุณหมดแรงจูงใจ และรู้สึกว่าตัวเองมีอารมณ์ไม่ดีบ่อยเกินไป อดทนไว้ The High 5 Habit มีเคล็ดลับและกลเม็ดสำหรับคุณ!
ในหนังสือเล่มนี้ ผู้ประพันธ์จะสอนวิธีเริ่มต้นการ high-five กับบุคคลที่สำคัญที่สุดในชีวิตของคุณ คนที่จ้องมองกลับมาที่คุณในกระจก ตัวคุณเอง
ผู้ประพันธ์สอนวิธีสร้างความเชื่อในตัวเองให้เป็นนิสัย เพื่อให้คุณดำเนินการด้วยความมั่นใจในเป้าหมายและความฝันที่คุณต้องการ
The High 5 Habit เป็นเครื่องมือที่เรียบง่ายแต่ลึกซึ้ง ที่จะเปลี่ยนทัศนคติ ความคิด และพฤติกรรมของคุณ
2. -Mel Robbins
Publisher : Hay House Inc. (September 28, 2021)
The High 5 Habit is a self-improvement book that aims to help anyone who deals with self-limitations
take charge of their life by establishing a morning routine, ditching negative talk, and transforming their
life through positivity and confidence.
3. เกี่ยวกับผู้ประพันธ์
Mel Robbins เป็นหนึ่งในผู้นาด้านการพัฒนาและการเปลี่ยนแปลงตนเอง และเป็น
ผู้ประพันธ์หนังสือขายดีของ New York Times Bestselling
ผลงานของเธอ ได้แก่ "The High 5 Habit" และ "The 5 Second Rule" ตลอดจน
หลักสูตรออนไลน์ที่เปลี่ยนชีวิตของนักเรียนมากกว่าครึ่งล้านคนทั่วโลก
Mel จบการศึกษาจาก Dartmouth College และ Boston College Law School เธอ
ทางานเป็นแม่บ้านที่มีลูกวัยเรียนสามคน และแต่งงานกับนักธุรกิจ Christopher
Robbins ผู้ร่วมก่อตั้ง Stone Hearth Pizza
ใน The 5 Second Rule เธอได้สอนผู้คนนับล้านทั่วโลก ถึงเคล็ดลับห้าวินาทีในการ
สร้างแรงจูงใจ ผู้ที่สนใจสามารถคลิ๊กติดตามได้ที่ 5 second rule (slideshare.net)
24. การ high five ตัวเองในกระจกทุกเช้าอาจมีพลังมากกว่าที่คุณคิด ร่าเริง
กับตัวเอง ให้กาลังใจตัวเอง และให้กาลังใจผู้อื่น
จาไว้ว่า ในแต่ละวันคุณกาลังทางานที่จะพาคุณไปยังที่ที่คุณต้องการไป
และการทางานทุกวันคือการเดินทาง
25. 3 บทเรียนจากหนังสือ
1. ขั้นแรก high-five ตัวเองในกระจกเริ่มตั้งแต่เช้าพรุ่งนี้ (First, high-five yourself in the mirror
starting tomorrow morning)
2. การพูดกับตัวเองในเชิงลบ ทาให้เกิดพฤติกรรมเชิงลบอย่างต่อเนื่อง (Negative self-talk creates a
chain of negative behaviors)
3. ตัวกรองความคิดของคุณเรียกว่า Reticular Activating System ที่คุณควรทาความสะอาดอย่างทั่วถึง
(Your mind filter is called the Reticular Activating System, and you should clean it thoroughly)
34. Quotes from The High 5 Habit by Mel Robbins
1. How you see yourself is how you see the world.
2. When you replace that self-doubt and self-criticism that drags you down with self-acceptance
and self-love that lifts you up, your life will change.
3. Your relationship with yourself is the foundation for everything in your life.
4. Celebrating yourself is about as foreign a concept as walking on your hands or eating with your
feet. That’s why your subconscious brain rejects it.
35. 5. If you look in the mirror and don’t see a person worth celebrating, it’s time to change that.
6. When you focus on what’s wrong, you will never change.
7. Hating your body, your past, or yourself won’t motivate you.
8. Self-love is your birthright.
9. You aren’t broken, you’re blocked. You may have done some things that are pretty bad, but YOU
are not a bad person.
36. 10. Change the way you look at the world, and the world you’re looking at changes.
11. When you love yourself, you inevitably do things you love. When you treat yourself with respect,
you do respectable things. And when you celebrate yourself, you do things worth celebrating.
12. Act like the person you want to become.
13. One person’s success can be success shared by all. We are lifted up by each other’s
achievements and inspired by their example. So instead of being in competition with all those people
on the road ahead, you see allies who can help you get what you want.
37. 14. When your guilt makes you a doormat, everyone looks like a door.
15. Your dreams are your responsibility. No one is coming.
16. If you want a new future, act like it. No matter how scared you are, just start. Wake up every day
and high five the person you see in the mirror. Then, set a deadline and get started.
17. Failure is what happens when you give up.
18. If you feel insecure about yourself, you’ll be insecure with others. You’ll also insert that insecurity
into every interaction you have.
38. 19. One change opens up limitless possibilities. Since her divorce, Katherine has improved just about
every area of her life.
20. When you change how you see yourself and treat yourself, a whole new possibility opens up for
your future self.
21. Your life will take you to remarkable places if you believe in your abilities and encourage yourself
to keep moving forward.
22. Your life is teaching you something. It always is. Everything, and I mean absolutely everything, is
preparing you for what’s coming next.
39. 23. True confidence is telling yourself that you are okay, safe, and loved—and believing that it’s true
with every fiber of your being.
24. Manifesting done right will help you make your dreams come true—or at least help you do the work.
25. Your dreams teach you how to believe in something greater. They teach you to believe in YOURSELF
and your ability to make anything happen.
26. You can always connect the dots in your life if you are looking back. The true art is believing that
this moment right now is a dot that is connecting you to something amazing that’s coming in the future.
40. 27. Trust in yourself and your ability to rise to this challenge, cheer yourself forward, and take care of
yourself along the way.
28. It’s a miraculous thing when you find out who you really are.
29. Dreams don’t disappear. You were born with them, and they are meant for you. That means you
take them with you wherever you go and in whatever version of yourself you create. So you might as
well stop running and start leaning into them.
30. Wherever there’s a dream in your life, trust that you can high five your way to it.
41. From the bottom of my heart, I thank you for reading this book. I hope it’s inspired you to feel
more confident and in control of your life. I hope it’s helped you be kinder to yourself and
celebrate the amazing person you already are, and gives you a glimpse of the fantastic person
you’re becoming. Thank you for believing in yourself and spreading the high five energy to those
around you. High five!
Editor's Notes
The High 5 Habit is a self-improvement book that aims to help anyone who deals with self-limitations take charge of their life by establishing a morning routine, ditching negative talk, and transforming their life through positivity and confidence.
Mel Robbins
Mel Robbins is one of the leading voices in personal development and transformation and a New York Times Bestselling author. Her work includes "The High 5 Habit," "The 5 Second Rule," as well as signature online courses that have changed the lives of more than half a million students worldwide.
Mel is a graduate of Dartmouth College and Boston College Law School. She’s a working mom with three school-aged kids and is married to fellow entrepreneur Christopher Robbins, the co-founder of Stone Hearth Pizza.
In her global phenomenon The 5 Second Rule, Mel Robbins taught millions of people around the world the five second secret to motivation.
Do you ever feel like you’ve lost a sense of purpose or cannot figure out what you want and go for it? Are you waking up feeling tired, as if you already know how your day will play out and not wanting to get out of bed?
If you stopped feeling motivated and you catch yourself in a lousy mood way too often, hang on cause The High 5 Habit has got a few tips-and-tricks for you!
In this book, Mel teaches you how to start high fiving the most important person in your life, the one who is staring back at you in the mirror: YOURSELF. Mel will teach you how to make believing in yourself a habit so that you operate with the confidence that your goals and dreams demand.
The High 5 Habit is a simple yet profound tool that changes your attitude, your mindset, and your behavior.
Most people get manifesting wrong because they try to visualize and conjure the end result: winning the ski race or the Oscar, losing 50 pounds or having a million dollars in the bank.
Manifesting done wrong can keep you stuck, because while big dreams are amazing, and you need to have them, manifesting the end result will NOT help you achieve them.
Research out of UCLA shows us that in order to make visualization really help you achieve your goals, you need to visualize yourself doing the hard, annoying, small steps along the way to reaching your dreams.
YOU DESERVE A HIGH FIVE LIFE
Giving yourself a high five in the mirror was a simple act of kindness towards yourself and you really needed it
Mel reflects on the power of high fives in helping her finish the New York City Marathon.
A high five is a transfer of energy and belief from one person to another
It’s a reminder of something you forgot
Every high 5 says “I believe in you”
The relationship you have with yourself is the foundation of every relationship you have in life
SCIENCE SAYS THIS WORKS
Research shows that a high 5 is a more effective motivator than verbal affirmations
It is a shared celebration with someone
You’re passing your energy and belief to them
Another research study shows that NBA teams who gave the most high-fives are more likely to go to the championships because of a higher level of trust and belief in each other
The best teams create psychological safety
That’s the feeling that other people have your back and cheer you on
It makes you more resilient and optimistic
It creates an atmosphere of trust and respect
Your happiness at work is determined by whether or not you have a manager who cares about you
Another study showed that the number one predictor of how happy and satisfied you could be was self-acceptance
Meaning how kind you were to yourself and how much you cheered for yourself had a direct and proportionate effect on your happiness
I HAVE A FEW QUESTIONS
First thing in the morning, be with yourself and your reflection
Really see yourself and see the soul of the person you’re looking at
Then, when you feel ready, high 5 yourself in the mirror
The high-fiving in the mirror is supposed to begin to build a new, positive association with your own image
WHY DO I TORTURE MYSELF?
If you deliberately change your actions or thoughts, you change your default way of thinking and acting
This deliberate change is called a neuroplastic response
When you focus on what you think is wrong with you, you will never change
Hating any aspect of yourself, whether it is your body, your past, or whatever, will not motivate you
Research shows that beating yourself up makes it harder to motivate yourself
The more you repeat your negative thoughts, the more evidence you’re going to see and find
The relationship you have with yourself either sets you free or keeps you trapped
High-fiving yourself in the mirror shows us that self-love is really about falling in love with the parts of yourself you’ve been trying to fix
We have three emotional needs: to be seen, heard, and loved
Negative thoughts fry your nervous system and take you down a negative spiral
WHERE’S ALL THIS NEGATIVE CRAP COMING FROM?
You need to learn how to clear out that negative residue and negative thinking out of your life every day
You can teach your mind to find the things you want to see by thinking about those things over and over
Only you can change your own mental programming
You’re the only one thinking about all of the mistakes you made in the past. Nobody else is
It’s creating these untrue, toxic beliefs about yourself that act like walls keeping you trapped in the past
If you think you have the power to create a bunch of messes in your life, that also means you have the power to create extraordinary things and outcomes
Change the way you look at the world and the world you look at changes
It’s that simple
Be deliberate and tell your mind what you want it to think when you mess up
WHY IS LIFE SO EASY FOR THEM AND NOT ME?
First, take a look at how you see success
Do you believe success, happiness, and love are in limited supply?
Once you accept that there is an unlimited supply of these things, it can give you the conviction to go after them yourself
Jealousy is simply blocked desire
If you flip it, it becomes inspiration
Jealousy is a navigation tool or indicator that shows what you really want
Your desires are your responsibility, not someone else’s
ISN’T IT EASIER IF I SAY NOTHING?
Guilt doesn’t come externally but it is internal based on your values
People-pleasing is fine if that’s what you truly want to do
But it becomes detrimental when it is against your own needs
People-pleasing isn’t about other people, it is about your insecurities
If you struggle with guilt, ask yourself this question: am I using the guilt to motivate me to do better, or is it just making me feel bad?
The first loyalty you have is to yourself
And the faster you put yourself first, the faster other people will learn to do that for themselves too
HOW ABOUT I START… TOMORROW?
Exercise: Write down every time you see a mile marker or signs that show you that you’re in the right direction heading toward your dreams
Having the courage to pursue your dreams is way more important than actually achieving them
The act of trying is what truly honors what’s inside you
BUT DO YOU LIKE ME?
There’s a connection between fitting in and anxiety
This is because anxiety is caused by not knowing who you’re supposed to be
This makes you constantly question who you are and what you’re supposed to be doing
It’s no wonder why we don’t know how to be ourselves because we’ve been so indoctrinated to follow the social rules from when we were younger
It doesn’t really matter what other people think or say
What matters most is “do you like yourself?”
It’s impossible to not care about other people’s feelings, and it’s totally normal to do so, or else you’ll be narcissistic
However, you shouldn’t always listen to other people’s opinions
You need to learn how to honor your feelings more than anyone else’s
This is important because if you don’t value your own opinions, you will seek validation from other people’s opinions
Your relationship with you is the most important because if you feel secure in that relationship, you’ll feel secure in every other relationship you have
You’ll be able to draw boundaries but also ask for the love and support you need from others
Whatever your fears and insecurities are, you’ll project that into every conversation and interaction you have
Living a lie causes massive anxiety because you dread the day of reckoning when the truth comes out
HOW COME I SCREW EVERYTHING UP?
When things aren’t going your way, you have to tell yourself that something amazing is happening but you just can’t see it yet
When you are able to trust that all your hard work is leading you somewhere, you’ll be able to obtain the miracles in your life
You have to believe that life has something so much better in store for you
It’s not all about achieving your original goal or dream but opening up the possibilities for even greater accomplishments
OK, YOU MAY NOT WANT TO READ THIS
Your goals and dreams don’t disappear, they haunt you
In order to make visualization work, you need to visualize yourself doing the small, hard, annoying steps along the way to reaching your dreams
Story: She held onto this dream of owning a Vermont landscape painting for 11 years and it magically became a reality
The high 5 habit has taught her this most valuable lesson: you are your own beacon
WAIT, WAIT… THERE’S MORE!
Putting yourself first means committing to and doing what you say you’re going to do
Writing down your thoughts and goals in the morning rewires your brain to focus on them and orient yourself to get them
A high 5 morning is where you prioritize yourself and put your needs first
In the morning, give yourself a gift by making your bed
One Takeaway / Putting into practice
The relationship you have with yourself is the foundation of every relationship you have in life
This point is so powerful and clear. If something feels off about any of your relationships, it’s because the foundation of your relationship with yourself is off.
This is a huge reminder for you, and something you need to keep in mind. As you navigate your relationships with others, you need to always remember that they’re all just reflections of your relationship with yourself. And if you are not taking care of yourself, your relationships will suffer.
Giving yourself a high 5 in the mirror each morning can be more powerful than you may think. Cheer yourself on, encourage yourself and encourage others.
Remember that each day you are doing the work that will lead you to where you want to go. Every day’s work is the journey.
3 Lessons Learned
1. First, high-five yourself in the mirror starting tomorrow morning.
2. Negative self-talk creates a chain of negative behaviors.
3. Your mind filter is called the Reticular Activating System, and you should clean it thoroughly.
Lesson 1: Make it a morning habit to high-five yourself in the mirror
Wait, what? A high-five with myself in the mirror? Well, that’s precisely what the author suggests, although it sounds stupid, this tiny piece of advice can change your entire day for the better. Let’s look at some scientific facts that support this idea.
High-five are most commonly used to celebrate small or big victories in life, from childhood to maturity. Everybody has a good memory of the high-five. But, according to research in neurobiotics, high-fives in uncommon situations, such as after brushing your teeth, can make your brain form new neural connections more easily.
Combining this sign of victory with an uncommon occurrence makes your brain pay attention to the situation and remember it as a positive event throughout the day. Does it make sense? I hope so!
Therefore, I highly encourage you to try it out for yourself. Tomorrow morning, when you wake up and brush your teeth, take a look in the mirror, and instead of picking at your insecurities, high-five your reflection in the mirror. Repeat it every morning from now on!
Lesson 2: Being negative affects your behavior more than you think
You’ve probably heard this a million times but stop thinking negatively, as it can seriously affect the quality of your life. Self-destructive behaviors can look at life performance anxiety, overwhelming feelings, anxiety, frustration, and many more.
For example, if you feel as if you’re going to fail a task before you even begin working on it, that can seriously impact the outcome of that activity.
The author herself even missed two excellent career opportunities due to her fear of failure. So what’s there to do? If you feel as if you’re deep into the negative talk behavior and it already affects your life significantly, you can try therapy.
However, if you find yourself inclined to see the negative in a situation or get frustrated quickly, work on yourself and train your mind to become more optimistic.
For example, instead of saying that you can’t do something or that someone is hard to work with, try saying that you’ll succeed at that task and that your colleagues may need your help to make work easier for them.
Lesson 3: Free your mind of negativity and frustration to leave room for positivity and growth
Your mind has a filter, much like a machine, called the Reticular Activating System, or the RAS. This system aims to filter the information you constantly receive so that only the relevant bits reach your conscious mind. However, sometimes this filter doesn’t function at its optimal parameters, which requires a deep cleaning.
To make sure that genuinely relevant information reaches your consciousness, instead of negative flows of data which in turn affect your behavior, you’ll have to do a few things.
First, you’ll have to put optimism in front of pessimism in your mind so that your brain thinks that’s what’s important to you. To do so, you must embrace and choose self-acceptance and love above all other things.
Secondly, you’ll have to look for them. Look for the good side of things, or see the glass half-full.
This will train your brain to look for this type of information and filter stuff in a way that shows you the good side of things. You know the saying: “Ask, and you shall receive”, so start applying it to your life as well!
The High 5 Habit explores the simple yet effective habit of high-fiving yourself in the mirror every morning to kickstart your day with a bit of boost. This life tip changed how Robbins started her day and went on with it while significantly improving her confidence levels.
Therefore, she decided to let the whole world know that this simple trick, followed by a positive mentality and constantly looking for the half-full side of the glass, can turn anyone’s life around right away.