Things Fall Apart Essay Guided Revisions

1. Guided Revision
EA 3

2. MLA Format
●12 point font, double spaced, 1” margins
●Title: centered
●Header with name and page number on the
top right corner
●Heading in correct MLA order:
Your Name
Ms. Ritter
World Literature
4 May 2015

3. INTRODUCTORY PARAGRAPH

4. Introduction - Components
• Hook- Does it relate to civilization?
• Definition- Do you clearly show the reader what defines a
civilized society?
• Is a TAG (Title, Author, Genre) statement present in intro?
• Is the title italicized?
• Do you have a clear thesis in which you directly state if the
Ibo society is civilized or not?
• Does your thesis also mention the three features?
If you answer no to any of these question, REVISE!
Note: if your hook is a quote, be sure to include quote set-up

5. Varied Sentence Beginnings (VSB)
• Examine the first word of each sentence in
your introduction paragraph
• Each sentence must start with a different
word
• If you have sentences that begin with the
same words, fix it!
• HINT: Sometimes this revision requires
moving around parts of the sentence to create
a new beginning.

6. Formal Style
• No 1st or 2nd person; no contractions
• If a contraction was used in cited evidence,
keep it.
• Use precise language--children instead of kids,
avoid bad, good, and other weak words.
• Does the intro paragraph use any I, you, we, us,
etc. words?
• If yes because it is in a quote, leave it.
• If yes because it is in your writing, change it.

7. Conventions
• Re-read for grammar, spelling, punctuation
errors
– Correct if you see any
• Double check for the “No Excuse Words”
--they’re, there, their --to, too, two
--effect/affect --it’s/its
• Grammar questions? Unsure if something is
wrong? Ask!

8. SUPPORT PARAGRAPHS (evidence)

9. Topic Sentence
First sentence of your paragraph
Does your first sentence explicitly state the element
of society (Government, Religion, and Societal Roles)
along with the stance you are analyzing?
Example:Government in the Ibo society is at an
advanced stage of social and moral development and
therefore it is considered civilized.

10. Quote Context
• Did you provide some type of context to the
reader before introducing your quotes?
• That is, pretend the reader never read Things
Fall Apart. What would they need to know to
understand your quote?

11. Integrating Quotes: Eliminating Island
Quotes!
• NO ISLAND QUOTES!
– Island Quote = a quote by itself (“on an island”)
with none of your own words leading up to it
• Island Quote Example:
“We have heard both sides of the case...Our duty is not to blame
this man or to praise that but to settle the dispute” (Achebe 93).
• Fix it!
The civilized nature of the court is apparent when Evil Forest
says, “We have heard both sides of the case...Our duty is not to
blame this man or to praise that but to settle the dispute”
(Achebe 93).

12. Citations
• Identify citations for all of your quotes/evidence – if it’s
missing, make a note to add!
• Correct citations following all quotes:
– Author: (Achebe 93)
– But… if your quote set up states the author’s name, you
just put in the page number. (See example below!)
• Properly place a period AFTER the parentheses of citation
– The civilized nature of the court is apparent when Achebe
writes, “We have heard both sides of the case...Our duty
is not to blame this man or to praise that but to settle the
dispute” (93).
● Citations must go at end of sentence.

13. Analysis
• Does your quote analysis effectively explain
why the Ibo society is civilized or uncivilized?
• Is your line of reasoning explicit?

14. Concluding Sentence
• As you finish your first support paragraph, do you effectively
wrap your thoughts up to help the reader understand you
have completed your point?
• Ex. Overall, the justice and governmental system of the Ibo
society fits the definition of a civilized society.

15. Check your other body paragraphs...
• Revisit the previous slides as necessary.
• Be sure to add a transition word at the start
of each new paragraph/idea.

16. Varied Sentence Beginnings (VSB)
• Examine the first word of each sentence in your
individual paragraph
• Each sentence must start with a different word
• If you have sentences that begin with the same
words,fix it!
• Be sure to use transitional fluency words (3 per
paragraph)(beginning, before 2nd quote,
conclusion)
• HINT: Sometimes this revision requires moving
around parts of the sentence to create a new
beginning.

17. Formal Style
• No 1st or 2nd person; no contractions
• If a contraction was used in cited evidence,
keep it.
• Use precise language--children instead of kids,
avoid bad, good, and other weak words.
Does the support paragraph use any I, you, we, us,
etc. words?
If yes because it is in a quote, leave it.
If yes because it is in your writing, change it.

18. Conventions
● Re-read for grammar, spelling, punctuation
errors: Correct if you see any
● Double check for the “No Excuse Words”
--they’re, there, their --to, too, two
--effect/affect --it’s/its
● Grammar questions? Unsure if something is
wrong? Ask!

19. CONCLUSION PARAGRAPH

20. • Did you restate your thesis in a new way?
• Don’t just copy and paste! Restate in a new way!
• Did you recap Government, Religion/ Beliefs, and Societal
Roles sections?
• A sentence for each would be effective.
• Did you end with a strong concluding sentence that relates
your analysis to a theme or purpose of Things Fall Apart?
• Did you answer the question why did Chinua Achebe
depict the Ibo culture the way he did?
Concluding Paragraph

21. Varied Sentence Beginnings (VSB)
• Examine the first word of each sentence in
your conclusion paragraph
• Each sentence must start with a different
word
• If you have sentences that begin with the
same words, fix it!
• HINT: Sometimes this revision requires
moving around parts of the sentence to create
a new beginning.

22. Formal Style
• No 1st or 2nd person; no contractions
• If a contraction was used in cited evidence,
keep it.
• Use precise language--children instead of kids,
avoid bad, good, and other weak words.
Does the support paragraph use any I, you, we, us,
etc. words?
If yes because it is in a quote, leave it.
If yes because it is in your writing, change it.

23. Conventions
• Re-read for grammar, spelling, punctuation
errors: Correct if you see any
• Double check for the “No Excuse Words”
--they’re, there, their --to, too, two
--effect/affect --it’s/its
• Grammar questions? Unsure if something is
wrong? Ask!