2. AGENDA
Writing Workshop: 20
points: You need two clean,
complete copies of your draft
Review: MLA Formatting
Commenting on your draft
Kaizena Submission
Questions
3. Mark the following parts of your essay using brackets to
designate the beginning and ending of each section
1. Your clever title
2. Your introduction to the novel
3. Your integrated quotation, formatted in MLA style
4. Your transition to your own event (your thesis).
5. A vivid description of a person or people
6. A vivid description of a place
7. A dialogue that adds to the narrative in a significant way.
8. The climax of the story
9. A section that shows or tells the significance of the event
10. Your conclusion (Framing or some other method of closing).
4. Dreaming of Yesterday
Taking the place of her sister Prim, Katniss Everdeen volunteers for the Hunger
Games, a dystopian society's yearly gladiatorial combat for amusement and oppression. She
is allowed to see her friends and family one last time for a sparse hour before being loaded
on a train to the Capitol where the Hunger Games take place. After eating perhaps the
richest meal of her life, she reflects on her situation:
This day has been endless. Could Gale and I have been eating
blackberries only I this morning? It seems like a lifetime ago. Like a long dream
that deteriorated into a nightmare. Maybe, if I go to sleep, I will wake up
back in District 12, where I belong. (Collins 54)
It is a stark transition in Katniss’s life in just the span of a day. She wakes up a scavenger
trying to survive in the harshness of District 12 and goes to sleep a tribute poised to fight to
the death in the Hunger Games.
While reality lacks the harsh and life-threatening difference Katniss experiences, I
believe it is a common human experience to ponder exactly how we end up in a particularly
abnormal situation. I had cause to ponder just such a situation on my most recent birthday.
My girlfriend Laural had a surprise gift for me, and instructed me to wear comfortable
clothes and tennis shoes. Scarcely three hours after departing from my home I was strapped
to another man, in a plane at fifteen thousand feet, and getting ready to jump out. Like
Katniss reflects on the change in her life while trying to fall asleep on the train, I was
reflecting on my position in a plane miles above the ground while coming to grips with my
way down.
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5. Mark the following parts of your essay using brackets to
designate the beginning and ending of each section
1. Your clever title
2. Your introduction to the novel
3. Your integrated quotation, formatted in MLA style
4. Your transition to your own event (your thesis).
5. A vivid description of a person or people
6. A vivid description of a place
7. A dialogue that adds to the narrative in a significant way.
8. The climax of the story
9. A section that shows or tells the significance of the event
10. Your conclusion (Framing or some other method of closing).
6. Writing Workshop: Revision Strategies
Choose a partner
Read both essays aloud before you start
to write about or discuss the essays.
On separate sheets of paper, answer all
of the questions from the handout for
your partner’s essay.
When you finish, return your
comments to the writer.
When you get your essay back, read the
comments and determine how you
might remedy any issues.
7. Get out your clean
copy of your essay
You may work on an electronic version if you
prefer
8. MLA Formatting Style:
Setting up your paper
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8xAc4yZ8VSA
MLA format: Find more help on our website under “MLA Guidelines.”
10. Margins and
Formatting
Double Click in
Header Area
Type your last name
Justify right
Go to “insert” and click
on “page number
Header: Last Name 1
1” all around
Go to “Layout” and
adjust margins or
use custom
settings
Times New Roman
12
Indent body
paragraphs ½ inch
from the margin
11. Heading: Double
Spaced
Your Name
Dr. Kim Palmore
EWRT 1A
25 October 2016
Title
Original Title (not the title of
the essay we read)
No italics, bold, underline, or
quotation marks
Centered on the page
No extra spaces (just double
spaced after your heading and
before the body of your text.
Check your paper!
14. According to the St. Martin's Guide, there are
three main ways to set up a signaling phrase:
1. With a complete sentence followed by a colon.
The effects of Auld's prohibition against teaching Douglass to
read were quite profound for Douglass: "It was a new and special
revelation" (29).
2. With an incomplete sentence, followed by a comma.
Douglass argues that Auld's prohibition against literacy for him
was a profound experience, saying, "It was a new and special
revelation" (29).
3. With a statement that ends in that.
The importance of Auld's prohibition to Douglass is clear when
he states that "It was a new and special revelation" (29).
15. Using Signal Phrases:
One common error a lot of people
make when they include a quotation is
that they tend to put the quotation in a
sentence by itself. Unfortunately, we
cannot do this. We need to use a signal
phrase to introduce the quotation and
give our readers some context for the
quotation that explains why we are
taking the time to include it in our
paper.
16. Take, for example, this section from a student
paper:
Incorrect: Katniss doesn’t respond to Cinna’s statement, but she agrees
in her head. “He’s right, though. The whole rotten lot of them is
despicable” (65).
Correct: Katniss doesn’t respond to Cinna’s statement, but she agrees in
her head: “He’s right, though. The whole rotten lot of them is
despicable” (65).
Or
Correct: Katniss doesn’t respond to Cinna’s statement. However, she
thinks, “He’s right, though. The whole rotten lot of them is despicable”
(65).
17. The classroom was noisy as the MUN students filed in[. . .] Mr. Mustard began in
the middle of the program, and the room quieted down as we strained to hear the
narrator’s voice:
I look up at the buildings, these immense buildings They are so
enormous. And along the edges of each enormous building are the nets.
Because right at the time that I am making this visit, there has been an
epidemic of suicides at the Foxconn plant. Week after week, worker after
worker has been climbing all the way up to the tops of these enormous
buildings, and then throwing themselves off, killing themselves in a
brutal and public manner, not thinking very much about just how bad
this makes Foxconn look. Foxconn's response to month after month of
suicides has been to put up these nets. (Mr. Daisey and the Apple
Factory)
When citing more than four lines of
prose, format your quotation this way:
Hanging indent
for long
quotation: 10
spaces
18. When citing two or more paragraphs, use block quotation format, even if
the passage is fewer than four lines. Indent the first line of each quoted
paragraph an extra quarter inch.
Katniss thinks about how difficult it would be to get a meal like this in District 12:
What must it be like, I wonder, to live in a world where food
appears at the press of a button? How would I spend the hours I now
commit to combing the woods for sustenance if it were so easy to
come by? What do they do all day, these people in the Capitol, besides
decorating their bodies and waiting around for a new shipment of
tributes to roll in and die for their entertainment?
I look up and find Cinna’s eyes trained on mine. ‘How despicable
we must seem to you,’ he says. (65)
Katniss doesn’t respond to Cinna’s statement, but she agrees in her head: “He’s
right, though. The whole rotten lot of them is despicable” (65).
Although our world does not really…..
Indent 12.5
Indent 12.5
Indent 5
Indent 10
19. Making A Works Cited
Page MLA Style
Ensure that you have a properly formatted works cited page:
You likely only have one entry: The Hunger Games
20. Review: Here is an overview of the process:
When deciding how to cite your source, start by consulting the list of core elements. These
are the general pieces of information that MLA suggests including in each Works Cited
entry. In your citation, the elements should be listed in the following order:
Author.
Title of source.
Title of container,
Other contributors,
Version,
Number,
Publisher,
Publication date,
Location.
Each element should be followed by the punctuation mark shown here. Earlier editions of
the handbook included the place of publication, and required punctuation such as journal
editions in parentheses, and colons after issue numbers. In the current version,
punctuation is simpler (just commas and periods separate the elements), and information
about the source is kept to the basics.
21. Collins, Suzanne. The Hunger Games. Scholastic Press, 2008.
Student 6
Author
Title of
Source
Publisher
Publication
Date
Citing a single author text in MLA Style
22. Writing Tips
Write about literature in present tense
Write about your experience in past tense
Avoid using “thing,” “something,” “everything,” and
“anything.”
Avoid writing in second person. (Don’t use “you” unless it is in
dialogue.
23. Essay Submissions
All out of class essays are to be submitted to me
electronically before the class period in which they are due.
1. Before you submit your essay, please save your file as your
last name and the essay number, like this: Smith 2. This
will help me keep your essays organized.
Smith 2
24. 2. Submit your essay through Kaizena at
https://kaizena.com/palmoreessaysubmissiongmail.
Or simply use the link on our class website home
page.
This system allows me to respond to your
essay with both voice and written comments
and to insert helpful links.
This system allows me to respond to
your essay with both voice and
written comments and to insert
helpful links.
25. Group Codes
Students will be asked to enter a code to join the appropriate group.
I am sure most of you have already joined Kaizena!
Tuesday 7:30 Wednesday 7:30Tuesday 10:00
26. When you join a group, a conversation will automatically be created.
27. After joining a group, you
will be able to add a file. That
is it! You are done
You may add from your Google Drive or
directly from a saved file on your desktop.
Using a PDF file will help maintain your
formatting, so I suggest that if it is possible.
28. Please Note!!
There are two conversations taking place in Kaizena.
One is “Broadcast” conversation, which includes the
entire class. The second is a private conversation
between each student and me. Please make sure to
upload your essay to the private conversation. If you
see an accidental upload to the entire class, please let
me or that student know immediately!
29. After you upload your essay, use Kaizena to mark the
following sections of your essay.
1. Your MLA formatted header and heading
2. Your original title
3. Your introduction to the novel
4. Your integrated quotation, formatted in MLA style
5. Your transition to your own event (your thesis).
6. A vivid description of a person or people
7. A vivid description of a place
8. A dialogue that adds to the narrative in a significant way.
9. The climax of the story
10. A section that shows or tells the significance of the event
11. Your conclusion (Framing or some other method of closing).
12. Any other section that you would like me to notice or comment on.
30. How To Comment On Your Essay
To attach a comment to a highlight, you start by making a highlight in a file.
Scroll to the part of the file where you want to make your highlight. Click in
the margin (or on the text you want to highlight), and drag the cursor to
expand the comment box.
Click on the A in the comment box on the left side to type in your comment or
question.
Click “Post to Highlight”
Make sure to use just one color (whichever you prefer), so I can comment in a
different color.
You can also leave voice comments, but please use the written comment
feature to identify the sections of your essay. You may leave me a voice
comment if you have other comments or questions.
31.
32. Once I have graded your paper, you may view it by going to the
conversations between us on the Kaizena page.
33. Click on the highlighted sections of the paper to find
both audio and written comments concerning your essay
and links to materials that will help you improve your
writing.
34. If you cannot submit your paper through
Kaizena before the due date and time:
Email your essay as an attachment (don’t share it as a Google doc) to
palmorekim@fhda.edu.
You must send the attachment before the due date and time, or your
essay will be considered late, so do not dawdle.
You must still submit it as a Kaizena document; the attachment
merely gets you time to figure out the process if you are having
trouble.
I suggest planning ahead. Do not wait until the last minute!
You may submit a test document if you want to do an early run
through to avoid problems.
35. HOMEWORK
Post #9: Post two versions of a section (a
paragraph or two) of your essay that
demonstrates your revision and editing
strategies.
Submit Essay #2: Due electronically via
Kaizena. Please see due date above this
panel. Your paper must be in MLA
format.
Read: SMG 134-148 Writing a Concept Essay
Write: Using the comments you received from your readers, revise
and edit Essay #2.
