Class 14 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8xAc4yZ8VSA after 8

1. EWRT 1A Class 14

2. AGENDA
Writing Workshop: 20
points: You need two clean,
complete copies of your draft
 Review: MLA Formatting
 Commenting on your draft
Kaizena Submission
Questions

3. Mark the following parts of your essay using brackets to
designate the beginning and ending of each section
1. Your clever title
2. Your introduction to the novel
3. Your integrated quotation, formatted in MLA style
4. Your transition to your own event (your thesis).
5. A vivid description of a person or people
6. A vivid description of a place
7. A dialogue that adds to the narrative in a significant way.
8. The climax of the story
9. A section that shows or tells the significance of the event
10. Your conclusion (Framing or some other method of closing).

4. Dreaming of Yesterday
Taking the place of her sister Prim, Katniss Everdeen volunteers for the Hunger
Games, a dystopian society's yearly gladiatorial combat for amusement and oppression. She
is allowed to see her friends and family one last time for a sparse hour before being loaded
on a train to the Capitol where the Hunger Games take place. After eating perhaps the
richest meal of her life, she reflects on her situation:
This day has been endless. Could Gale and I have been eating blackberries only
this morning? It seems like a lifetime ago. Like a long dream that deteriorated into
a nightmare. Maybe, if I go to sleep, I will wake up back in District 12, where I
belong. (Collins 54)
It is a stark transition in Katniss’s life in just the span of a day. She wakes up a scavenger
trying to survive in the harshness of District 12 and goes to sleep a tribute poised to fight to
the death in the Hunger Games.
While reality lacks the harsh and life-threatening difference Katniss experiences, I
believe it is a common human experience to ponder exactly how we end up in a particularly
abnormal situation. I had cause to ponder just such a situation on my most recent birthday.
My girlfriend Laural had a surprise gift for me, and instructed me to wear comfortable
clothes and tennis shoes. Scarcely three hours after departing from my home I was strapped
to another man, in a plane at fifteen thousand feet, and getting ready to jump out. Like
Katniss reflects on the change in her life while trying to fall asleep on the train, I was
reflecting on my position in a plane miles above the ground while coming to grips with my
way down.
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5. Mark the following parts of your essay using brackets to
designate the beginning and ending of each section
1. Your clever title
2. Your introduction to the novel
3. Your integrated quotation, formatted in MLA style
4. Your transition to your own event (your thesis).
5. A vivid description of a person or people
6. A vivid description of a place
7. A dialogue that adds to the narrative in a significant way.
8. The climax of the story
9. A section that shows or tells the significance of the event
10. Your conclusion (Framing or some other method of closing).

6. Writing Workshop: Revision Strategies
 Choose a partner
 Read both essays aloud before you start
to write about or discuss the essays.
 On separate sheets of paper, answer all
of the questions from the handout for
your partner’s essay.
 When you finish, return your
comments to the writer.
 When you get your essay back, read the
comments and determine how you
might remedy any issues.

7. Get out your clean
copy of your essay
You may work on an electronic version if you
prefer

8. MLA Formatting Style:
Setting up your paper
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8xAc4yZ8VSA
MLA format: Find more help on our website under “MLA Guidelines.”

9. For your convenience:
Picture Format

10. Margins and
Formatting
Double Click in
Header Area
Type your last name
Justify right
Go to “insert” and click
on “page number
Header: Last Name 1
 1” all around
 Go to “Layout” and
adjust margins or
use custom
settings
 Times New Roman
12
 Indent body
paragraphs ½ inch
from the margin

11. Heading: Double
Spaced
Your Name
Dr. Kim Palmore
EWRT 1A
25 July 2017
Title
Original Title (not the title of
the essay we read)
No italics, bold, underline, or
quotation marks
Centered on the page
No extra spaces (just double
spaced after your heading and
before the body of your text.
Check your paper!

13. Integrating
Quotations
MLA Style
The next slides are a Review from online
class 13. Check your draft to make sure
you have integrated your quotations
correctly!

14. According to the St. Martin's Guide, there are
three main ways to set up a signaling phrase:
1. With a complete sentence followed by a colon.
 The effects of Auld's prohibition against teaching Douglass to
read were quite profound for Douglass: "It was a new and special
revelation" (29).
2. With an incomplete sentence, followed by a comma.
 Douglass argues that Auld's prohibition against literacy for him
was a profound experience, saying, "It was a new and special
revelation" (29).
3. With a statement that ends in that.
 The importance of Auld's prohibition to Douglass is clear when
he states that "It was a new and special revelation" (29).

15. Using Signal Phrases:
 One common error a lot of people
make when they include a quotation is
that they tend to put the quotation in a
sentence by itself. Unfortunately, we
cannot do this. We need to use a signal
phrase to introduce the quotation and
give our readers some context for the
quotation that explains why we are
taking the time to include it in our
paper.

16. Take, for example, this section from a student
paper:
Incorrect: Katniss doesn’t respond to Cinna’s statement, but she agrees
in her head. “He’s right, though. The whole rotten lot of them is
despicable” (65).
Correct: Katniss doesn’t respond to Cinna’s statement, but she agrees in
her head: “He’s right, though. The whole rotten lot of them is
despicable” (65).
Or
Correct: Katniss doesn’t respond to Cinna’s statement. However, she
thinks, “He’s right, though. The whole rotten lot of them is despicable”
(65).

17. The classroom was noisy as the MUN students filed in[. . .] Mr. Mustard began in
the middle of the program, and the room quieted down as we strained to hear the
narrator’s voice:
I look up at the buildings, these immense buildings They are so
enormous. And along the edges of each enormous building are the nets.
Because right at the time that I am making this visit, there has been an
epidemic of suicides at the Foxconn plant. Week after week, worker after
worker has been climbing all the way up to the tops of these enormous
buildings, and then throwing themselves off, killing themselves in a
brutal and public manner, not thinking very much about just how bad
this makes Foxconn look. Foxconn's response to month after month of
suicides has been to put up these nets. (Mr. Daisey and the Apple
Factory)
When citing more than four lines of
prose, format your quotation this way:
Hanging indent
for long
quotation: 10
spaces

18. When citing two or more paragraphs, use block quotation format, even if
the passage is fewer than four lines. Indent the first line of each quoted
paragraph an extra quarter inch.
Katniss thinks about how difficult it would be to get a meal like this in District 12:
What must it be like, I wonder, to live in a world where food
appears at the press of a button? How would I spend the hours I now
commit to combing the woods for sustenance if it were so easy to
come by? What do they do all day, these people in the Capitol, besides
decorating their bodies and waiting around for a new shipment of
tributes to roll in and die for their entertainment?
I look up and find Cinna’s eyes trained on mine. ‘How despicable
we must seem to you,’ he says. (65)
Katniss doesn’t respond to Cinna’s statement, but she agrees in her head: “He’s
right, though. The whole rotten lot of them is despicable” (65).
Although our world does not really…..
Indent 12.5
Indent 12.5
Indent 5
Indent 10

19. Making A Works Cited
Page MLA Style
Ensure that you have a properly formatted works cited page:
You likely only have one entry: The Hunger Games

20. Review: Here is an overview of the process:
When deciding how to cite your source, start by consulting the list of core elements. These
are the general pieces of information that MLA suggests including in each Works Cited
entry. In your citation, the elements should be listed in the following order:
Author.
Title of source.
Title of container,
Other contributors,
Version,
Number,
Publisher,
Publication date,
Location.
Each element should be followed by the punctuation mark shown here. Earlier editions of
the handbook included the place of publication, and required punctuation such as journal
editions in parentheses, and colons after issue numbers. In the current version,
punctuation is simpler (just commas and periods separate the elements), and information
about the source is kept to the basics.

21. Collins, Suzanne. The Hunger Games. Scholastic Press, 2008.
Student 6
Author
Title of
Source
Publisher
Publication
Date
Citing a single author text in MLA Style

22. Writing Tips
 Write about literature in present tense
 Write about your experience in past tense
 Avoid using “thing,” “something,” “everything,” and
“anything.”
 Avoid writing in second person. (Don’t use “you” unless it is in
dialogue.

23. Essay Submissions
All out of class essays are to be submitted to me
electronically through both Turnitin and Kaizena before the
class period in which they are due.
1. Before you submit your essay, please save your file as your
last name and the essay number, like this: Smith 3. This
will help me keep your essays organized.
Smith 2

24. Submit your essay through
Turnitin
 Submit your essay as a
Microsoft Word doc or
docx format
 If you use Google
Drive, simply download
your document as a
Word doc
1. Go to Canvas
2. Click on “Assignments”
3. Go the the Essay Group of assignments
4. Click on the appropriate essay: “essay 2, 3, or 4”
5. Scroll to the bottom of the assignment and you will see the picture below

25. 2. Submit your essay through Kaizena at
https://kaizena.com/palmoreessaysubmissiongmail.
Or simply use the link on our class website home
page.
This system allows me to respond to your
essay with both voice and written comments
and to insert helpful links.
This system allows me to respond to
your essay with both voice and
written comments and to insert
helpful links.

26. After joining a group, you
will be able to add a file. That
is it! You are done
You may add from your Google Drive or
directly from a saved file on your desktop.
Using a PDF file will help maintain your
formatting, so I suggest that if it is
possible.

27. Remember!!
 There are two conversations taking place in Kaizena.
One is the “everyone” conversation, which includes
the entire class. The second is a private conversation
between each student and me. Please make sure to
upload your essay to the private conversation. If you
see an accidental upload to the entire class, please let
me or that student know immediately!

28. After you upload your essay, use Kaizena to mark the
following sections of your essay.
1. Your MLA formatted header and heading
2. Your original title
3. Your introduction to the novel
4. Your integrated quotation, formatted in MLA style
5. Your transition to your own event (your thesis).
6. A vivid description of a person or people
7. A vivid description of a place
8. A dialogue that adds to the narrative in a significant way.
9. The climax of the story
10. A section that shows or tells the significance of the event
11. Your conclusion (Framing or some other method of closing).
12. Any other section that you would like me to notice or comment on.

29. How To Comment On Your Essay
 To attach a comment to a highlight, you start by making a highlight in a file.
Scroll to the part of the file where you want to make your highlight. Click in
the margin (or on the text you want to highlight), and drag the cursor to
expand the comment box.
 Click on the A in the comment box on the left side to type in your comment or
question.
 Click “Post to Highlight”
 Make sure to use just one color (whichever you prefer), so I can comment in a
different color.
 You can also leave voice comments, but please use the written comment
feature to identify the sections of your essay. You may leave me a voice
comment if you have other comments or questions.

31. Once I have graded your paper, you may view it by going to the
conversations between us on the Kaizena page.

32. Click on the highlighted sections of the paper to find
both audio and written comments concerning your essay
and links to materials that will help you improve your
writing.

33. If you cannot submit your paper through
Kaizena before the due date and time:
 Email your essay as an attachment (don’t share it as a Google doc) to
palmorekim@fhda.edu.
 You must send the attachment before the due date and time, or your
essay will be considered late, so do not dawdle.
 You must still submit it as a Kaizena document; the attachment
merely gets you time to figure out the process if you are having
trouble.
 I suggest planning ahead. Do not wait until the last minute!
 You may submit a test document if you want to do an early run
through to avoid problems.

34. HOMEWORK
 Read: SMG 326-359: read all four essays in the
chapter.
 Patrick O Malley, “More Testing, More Learning”
 Karen Kornbluh, “Win-Win Flexibility”
 Matthew Miller, “A New Deal for Teachers”
 Gian-Claudia Sciara, “Making Communities Safe for
Bicycles”
 Post #19: Discuss the basic features as they appear in
each essay. Pick a different feature for each essay
Write: Using the comments you received from your readers, revise and edit
Essay #3.
Submit Essay #3: See Canvas for due date
Your paper must be in MLA format.