2. Mourning
Mourning is the expression of an experience that is the consequence of an event in life involving
loss, causing grief, occurring as a result of someone's death, specifically someone who was loved
although loss from death is not exclusively the cause of all experience of grief.
The word is used to describe a complex of behaviours in which the bereaved participate or are
expected to participate, the expression of which varies by culture. Wearing black clothes is one
practice followed in many countries, though other forms of dress are seen. Those most affected
by the loss of a loved one often observe a period of mourning, marked by withdrawal from social
events and quiet, respectful behavior. People may follow religious traditions for such occasions.
Mourning may apply to the death of, or anniversary of the death of, an important individual such
as a local leader, monarch, religious figure, or member of family. State mourning may occur on
such an occasion. In recent years, some traditions have given way to less strict practices, though
many customs and traditions continue to be followed.
3.
4.
5. William Worden โ Tasks of Mourning
Task 1 โ To accept the reality of the loss.
โฆ Often a sense of unreality when someone dies as our minds struggle to process the enormity of what
has happened. On a rational level you may know they have died but on an emotional level you canโt
accept it.
What can I do?
โฆ It takes time to shift towards talking about the person in the past tense but this shift does need to
happen in order to accept they are dead and will not return.
6. William Worden โ Tasks of Mourning
Task 2 โ To process the pain of grief
โฆ Range of emotions including pain, sadness, guilt, anger and helplessness following bereavement and
these need to be experienced as a part of the mourning process.
โฆ Many people try to block out and avoid these intense and unpleasant feelings. Distracting yourself with
work, turning to alcohol or drugs, stopping yourself from crying, pretending it doesnโt matter are all
ways of avoiding the pain. However the grief is likely to resurface at times you donโt expect it and if
unexpressed can lead to emotional difficulties in the future.
What can I do?
โฆ Allow yourself to feel what you are feeling.
โฆ Find ways to express your emotions through writing, drawing or music; talk to friends and family or a
counsellor at some point in the grief process, particularly if you are finding it hard to process the pain
on your own a few months or years on from the death.
7. William Worden โ Tasks of Mourning
Task 3 โ To adjust to a world without the deceased
โฆ Losing a loved one requires us to make many external, internal and emotional adjustments. The death
may affect our sense of self and the way we see the world. It takes time to process and adjust to these
changes.
What can I do?
โฆ What are the losses and gains inherent in this death?
โฆ For example, an older woman whose husband dies after a long illness may find themselves with greater
freedom to take up new activities, to travel or to spend more time with grandchildren.
8. William Worden โ Tasks of Mourning
Task 4 โ To find an enduring connection with the deceased in the midst of embarking on a new
life
โฆ You do not need to forget about the person who has died. They will always be an important part of
your life and no one can take that away.
โฆ Finding a way to remain emotionally connected to deceased person can actually help you move forward
into a new life without them.
What can I do?
โฆ What rituals around remembrance will help?
โฆ make a photo album of the personโs life that they can look back on in years to come, or memory box;
photos on display; visiting the grave can be ways to connect with the personโs memory.
9. The Dual Process Model
According to this model, we experience grief as a dialogue between pain and hope: sometimes we think
and feel our loss and other times we focus on restoring our lives back to normal
