2. questioned this shift as food costs were low and the food was
inspected by the United States
Food and Drug Administration (USFDA). Americans had no
idea how even just the beef that the
country eats could impact the health of the nation.
Thesis Sentence: : Grass fed beef is a better option than corn
fed beef because it has a high
nutritional value, can provide the body with much needed
Omega 3 fatty acids, and contains the
health benefits of conjugated linoleic acid.
Support for Thesis 1
Topic Sentence: Grass-fed is a healthier option than corn fed
beef because it has a high
nutritional value.
Commented [RZ1]: There are several different ways to grab
the attention of your reader:
1. A definition.
2. A quotation or paraphrase.
3. A little known or striking fact.
4. A statement of opinion
5. An interesting incident or anecdote related to your subject
6. An explanation of why the topic is worth writing/reading
4. like soy or corn which completely transform the meat from
healthy to an absolute health hazard.
To the contrast, grass-fed beef is beneficial to one’s health as
the cows are raised in a natural
way.
Detail B: According to Robinson (2011), much of the research
is clear in showing that there is a
much higher calories content and hazardous types of fats from
corn-fed beef that are responsible
for many of the fatal cardiovascular diseases. Another key
concern regarding the nutritional
value has to do with a significantly lower amount of nourishing
components such as vitamins,
anti-oxidants, and good fats (Robinson, 2011).
Detail C: Grass-fed actually has a high nutritional content but
gets a bad name from grain-fed
beef.
Transitional Sentence: Another benefit that makes grass fed
beef nutritionally superior is that
5. contains Omega 3s.
Support for Thesis 2
Topic Sentence: Grass fed beef a better choice over corn fed
beef because Omega 3 fatty acids
are very important to many functions of the body.
Detail A: Grogan (2012) argues that grass fed beef may have
several heart-healthy benefits that
corn fed beef does not. The difference lies in the diet of the
cattle, as there are major differences
in the nutrients between the two (Grogan, 2012). Grass fed beef
is usually much lower in the
total fat content, contains more heart-healthy omega-3 fatty
acids, antioxidants, and vitamins
(Grogan, 2012).
Detail B: Grass fed beef can have from two to five times more
Omega 3 fatty acids than corn or grain
fed beef (Robinson, 2011). The reasoning behind the push for a
diet rich with omega-3 fatty
6. acids is that they are responsible for blood flow (Robinson,
2011).
Commented [RZ4]: An example of a beginning of a sentence
citation for a paraphrased statement.
Commented [RZ5]: Please note that to earn full points for how
you present your argument on the first draft rubric, you’ll need
to
paraphrase your evidence as opposed to quoting.
If you do directly quote from a source; it must be under 40
words,
surrounded by quotation marks, and the in-text citation is
(Author’s
Last Name(s), Year, p. #).
EX: “Word for word excerpt taken from source” (Jackson,
Adams &
Smith, 2015, p. 27).
Commented [RZ6]: An example of an end of a sentence in-text
citation for a paraphrased statement.
Commented [RZ7]: End punctuation should only go after the
in-text citation, not before.
Commented [RZ8]: When writing a transition sentence you will
want to refer to the current subtopic of that paragraph and the
subtopic you will be addressing next.
Each transitional sentence should follow this format.
8. early trials against cancer and other cardiovascular diseases
(Robinson, 2011). Robinson (2011)
also discussed how rats that ingested tiny amounts of CLA were
able to shrink mammary tumors.
Detail B: Another study noted by Onakpoya, Posadzki, Watson,
Davies and Ernst (2012), found
that a diet rich in CLA promoted long-term weight loss lowering
the risk of other weight related
diseases such as obesity.
Detail C: Preliminary evidence shows that it could also fight
breast cancer, help prevent clogged
arteries, lower cholesterol, and lower the risks of a heart attack
(Robinson, 2011).
Transitional Sentence: There are many benefits to eating grass-
fed beef, rather than corn fed beef,
which could improve one’s overall health.
Conclusion
10. one’s life goals.
Commented [RZ10]: Re-state your thesis with all 3 subtopic in
different words as the first sentence to your conclusion.
Commented [RZ11]: Summarizing your main points should be
2-3 sentences.
Commented [RZ12]: Be sure this final remark within the essay
is a call to action statement:
http://www.essaywritingcompany.com/How-to-write-a-good-
call-
to-action-statement.html
12. (2012). The efficacy of long-term
conjugated linoleic acid (CLA) supplementation on body
composition in overweight and
obese individuals: A systematic review and meta-analysis of
randomized clinical trials.
European Journal Of Nutrition, 51(2), 127-134.
doi:10.1007/s00394-011-0253-9
Robinson, J. (2011). Pasture Perfect. Vashon Island Publishing:
Vashon, Washington.
An APA Reference citation for a peer-reviewed journal article
looks like this:
Krassel, K. F., & Heinesen, E. (2014). Class-size effects in
secondary school. Education
Economics, 22(4), 412-426. doi:10.1080/09645292.2014.902428
Please see the information below, it is color-coded to align to
the citation above:
1. An APA citation begins with the author(s) last name(s),
followed by their first and
middle name initials.
2. Then the publication year is in parenthesis.
Commented [RZ13]: To set hanging indents>
1. Select area to have hanging indents (entire reference list).
2. Right click
3. Select “paragraph” from the drop down menu
15. insight into your current knowledge on your topic.
4. If you choose to brainstorm by mapping/webbing, document
your brainstorm, please use the Smart Art feature within Word
to create the map.
Documentation of Brainstorm:
Record and identify your brainstorm strategies below, using as
much space as needed for each entry. Make sure your
information is substantive and is on your essay topic. Please do
not write about the brainstorming strategies in general.
Brainstorm One:
Brainstorm Two:
Brainstorm Three: