This was a professional development session for Virginia Tech's Department of Agricultural, Leadership, and Community Education. With today’s technology, much of our work can travel with us wherever we go, eliminating the natural boundaries of a work day or work week. The pressure to excel can be all-consuming, leaving many in search of the elusive “work/life balance.” In this presentation, Dr. Eric Kaufman highlights insights from tragic events in his family that directed him to key opportunities for integrating, juggling, and prioritizing various demands on time. Kaufman is a tenured professor and Extension specialist at Virginia Tech, where he teaches and studies leadership in the Department of Agricultural, Leadership, and Community Education. Because there is no magic formula, Eric will draw upon the scholarship associated with work/life balance and invite participants to share their own insights and challenges for discussion. Although Kaufman’s experience is within an academic career, the strategies he highlights are relevant for professionals in a variety of settings.
7. Are You an Integrator or Segmentor?
“As technology consumes our lives, nudging us to respond
to Slack messages at midnight and email pings on
weekends, the concept of ‘work-life balance’ increasingly
feels like a myth, created to tease fresh college grads,
torture parents, and plague us all with perpetual
productivity anxiety.” (Fessler, 2018)
8. What Is Your Priority This
Weekend?
As we approach the end
of the semester, where
do you invest your time?
9. When Work Takes Over Your Life
“The thing about
machines and the same
thing about software is
that the goal is to
minimize downtime….
Downtime for the
human operating
system is not a bug, it's
a feature.”
- Arianna Huffington
12. Juggling Life – Identifying Roles
What are your
different roles in life?
What do others
count on you to do?
13. Juggling Life
“Juggling comes down
to an act of faith.” You
have to “finish each task
and then let go
completely, because the
next task is about to fall
into your hands.”
– Michael Moschen,
world famous juggler
14. Margin: Avoiding the Overload Syndrome
“Margin is the
space between
our load and our
limits.”
- Richard A. Swenson, M.D.
15. Dialogue with Colleagues
• Engage in
conversation
• Discuss priorities
• Develop relationships
• Establish mutual
respect
16. The Tyranny of Success
"At the end of the day, you are only one individual with a limited
amount of time. You can’t do everything, so you must prioritize.
What are the most important topics for you to pay attention to, and
where are you going to draw the line?" - Julie Zhuo, “As Your Team Gets
Bigger, Your Leadership Style Has to Adapt,” Harvard Business Review
18. Perspectives on Time
“The rest of my time will be
more productive if you give
me my workout time.”
– Barack Obama, POTUS
“I have so much to do today
that I need to spend the first
three hours with the Lord.”
- Martin Luther, theologean
21. Enriching or Depleting?
The Dynamics of Engagement in Work and Family Roles
“Findings from a survey of 790 employees reveal
evidence for both depletion and enrichment as well
as gender differences. Specifically, depletion
existed only for women and only in the work-to-
family direction. Men experienced enrichment from
work to family, while women experienced
enrichment from family to work. Overall, more
linkages were found between work and family for
women than for men.” (Rothbard, 2001, p. 655)
26. Power of “Unscheduling”
”An upside-down approach
to help chronic postponers
get their lives back on
track.... The twist is that
rather than making a plan
for the work that you have to
do, you do the opposite:
schedule in activities that
you would like to do.”
- Zaria Gorvett
27. Believe in Work-Life Jenga
“Work-Life Jenga gives us
permission to pick our
pieces and arrange our lives
to suit the desires of our
hearts, not the dictates of
those around us. The
expectation is not one of
balance; it’s one of strategy
and of making the best of
each move, one block at a
time.” - Stacey Abrams
28. It’s About Attention Management
"It’s not time management,
because you might spend
the same amount of time on
the tasks even after you
rearrange your schedule.
It’s attention management:
You’re noticing the order of
tasks that works for you and
adjusting accordingly."
- Adam Grant
29. Recap
• Myth of work-life balance
• Alternatives to dividing the pie
• Strategies for prioritizing our lives
With today’s technology, much of our work can travel with us wherever we go, eliminating the natural boundaries of a work day or work week. The pressure to excel can be all-consuming, leaving many in search of the elusive “work/life balance.” In this presentation, Dr. Eric Kaufman highlights insights from tragic events in his family that directed him to key opportunities for integrating, juggling, and prioritizing various demands on time. Kaufman is a tenured professor and Extension specialist at Virginia Tech, where he teaches and studies leadership in the Department of Agricultural, Leadership, and Community Education. Because there is no magic formula, Eric will draw upon the scholarship associated with work/life balance and invite participants to share their own insights and challenges for discussion. Although Kaufman’s experience is within an academic career, the strategies he highlights are relevant for professionals in a variety of settings.
Note: I’ve been mistaken for a freshman; I’m still learning too.
“Work-life balance sets an unrealistic expectation of keeping different roles in steady equilibrium. Instead, strive for work-life rhythm. Each week has a repeating pattern of beats—job, family, friends, health, hobbies—that vary in accent and duration.” Adam Grant
https://twitter.com/adammgrant/status/1044945289038028800?lang=en
"Balance, when you really look at it, leads to stasis. It’s not a healthy way to move through life, it’s a method to keep things at bay." - Marcus Buckingham
https://www.marcusbuckingham.com/rwtb/lie-8/
https://player.vimeo.com/video/323918409?autoplay=0&autopause=0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?reload=9&v=ijEl094JAHk
Work life is part of life, but not your whole life.
https://qz.com/work/1349189/are-you-an-integrator-or-a-segmentor-knowing-the-answer-can-help-with-work-life-balance/
Are you more of an integrator or a segmentor? How have your preferences and habits changed over time?
Give them time to write their answers; then encourage a few to share their responses.
Be sure to connect with my experience of Shevon’s car accident and the livestock show that weekend.
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/when-work-takes-over-your-life-adam-grant/
https://www.ted.com/talks/worklife_with_adam_grant_when_work_takes_over_your_life/transcript?language=en
“Preventing work from overtaking your life seems harder than ever. But it might actually be easier than you think.”
You want to set boundaries, but you also want to be responsive and accessible. How do you strike a balance between the two?
Note: Picture on right was taken 2.5 weeks after the accident. While Shevon was still unconscious, she had been upgraded.
Video length: 3:15
https://www.facebook.com/ekkaufman1/videos/10151596140603832/
Ask participants to share their list in the chat window. Then, group and prioritize as needed.
Excerpt from Life@Work GroupZine, the art of balance
“The essence of juggling, then, is the ability to realize that we have multiple balls in the air, each of which is important to the overall make-up of our lives, while recognizing that the ball we have in our hand at any given moment—for whatever length of time—is the one we need to ‘influence’ or concentrate on.” – Steven R. Graves
Additional resource on Michael Moschen: https://www.ted.com/talks/michael_moschen_juggles_rhythm_and_motion?language=en#t-50924
Highlight over-commitment in college and how it forced me to delegate and trust
Note the small group study/discussions with Rick and graduate students (2006)
These are concepts brought up by Stephen Covey, the author of "The 7 habits of highly effective people". Urgent matters, such as a ringing telephone, may grab our attention. However we should make sure that we have a clear view on the important issues and reprioritize as needed. Schedule family time just like you schedule work appointments (e.g., weekly breakfasts with my children and wife)
Video length: 2:38
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qwkOMqKqLtc
http://smmbc.ca/newsletter-12.htm
https://www.ppoe.at/scoutdocs/series/sa_fs/fs_johari.pdf
Don't try to find the perfect ratio for time allocation, but look for synergy instead
Introduce opportunity with residential college. Share story of how I decided to pursue the opportunity.
Highlight image from HRC Super Bowl party: point out Sara lounging in chair at right and Shevon talking to Joseph at top left
https://vtnews.vt.edu/articles/2015/08/081815-dsa-facultyprincipals.html
DOI: 10.2307/3094827
https://www.jstor.org/stable/3094827
Note the value of tapping into others’ strengths, and accepting the help of family and friends. There is no way to recover the lost time. And, if we are not careful, our relationships can enter a “death spiral” with no hope of recovery. (Too many marriages end this way, and relationships between children and parents can have the same fate.)
Avoid living a double life
Involve family when you can
Why consistency matters in Relations and Leadership - Simon Sinek
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=njeAb4CLQeI
Video length: 4:36
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5OV3RmXhbg
https://iamfearlesssoul.com/simon-sinek-real-reason-people-fall-and-stay-in-love/
“Being intense all the time on any activity creates diminishing returns. We need to find that point where the benefit is maximized.” - https://j2-solutions.com/ffft-intensity-vs-consistency/
Share the story of our first anniversary—chaperoning a chapter FFA officer retreat. I now do a better job of blocking time on my calendar to spend with my wife and children. The photo on the left is from an Alaskan cruise for our 15th wedding anniversary. The photo on the right is from a Christmas Eve service.
Make sure you love what you do. Discuss the benefits of paying others to fulfill household duties.
https://hbr.org/ideacast/2019/01/use-your-money-to-buy-happier-time
Note: Virginia Tech’s cost to employ me (including all benefits) is more than $50 per hour. With that in mind, I should be comfortable paying others to do work I don’t enjoy, as long as I am paying them less than $50 per hour. Sometimes I mowed the lawn anyway, because I had a personal benefit of doing that. Other times, it was better for me to pay someone to mow the lawn.
, such as meeting a friend for dinner, as well as activities that are necessary for keeping yourself happy and in working condition, such as going for a run and getting enough sleep each night.... Begin by focusing on the task in hand for just 15 minutes, because anyone can commit to that amount of time. It’s all about making a start, rather than aiming to finish.”
http://www.bbc.com/capital/story/20190322-why-prioritising-fun-over-work-will-stop-procrastination
https://www.njlifehacks.com/the-unschedule-procrastination/
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/theres-one-thing-more-valuable-than-our-time-thats-who-john-hall/
Supplemental resources:
The Empty Pickle Jar, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uoxup9cy07M
Randy Pausch on Time Management, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6r0uOaBhHvs
Priorities of Life, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BqBwswtK4U0