Balancing the Work / Life Equation: Enjoying the Merits of a Marginal Life
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Presentation for college seniors who expressed interest in the topic of work-life balance. Highlights lessons learned from personal experience and related literature.
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Balancing the Work / Life Equation: Enjoying the Merits of a Marginal Life
- 1. Presented by Eric Kaufman February 19, 2019 Balancing the Work / Life Equation: Enjoying the Merits of a Marginal Life
- 2. What You Will Learn • Merits of a marginal life • Alternatives to dividing the pie • Strategies for prioritizing our lives
- 3. Caveat: There’s no magic formula; find what works best for you and your family.
- 4. Balance?
- 5. Work + [X] = Life
- 6. Are You an Integrator or Segmentor? “As technology consumes our lives, nudging us to respond to Slack messages at midnight and email pings on weekends, the concept of ‘work-life balance’ increasingly feels like a myth, created to tease fresh college grads, torture parents, and plague us all with perpetual productivity anxiety.” (Fessler, 2018)
- 7. What Is Your Priority This Week? Knowing how important class participation is to your success, what would have kept you from coming to campus this week? • Write your answers on one side of a note card
- 8. When Work Takes Over Your Life “The thing about machines and the same thing about software is that the goal is to minimize downtime…. Downtime for the human operating system is not a bug, it's a feature.” - Arianna Huffington
- 9. Preparing for the Unexpected
- 11. Juggling Life – Identifying Roles What are your different roles in life? What do others count on you to do?
- 12. Juggling Life “Juggling comes down to an act of faith.” You have to “finish each task and then let go completely, because the next task is about to fall into your hands.” – Michael Moschen, world famous juggler
- 13. Margin: Avoiding the Overload Syndrome “Margin is the space between our load and our limits.” - Richard A. Swenson, M.D.
- 14. Dialogue with Colleagues • Engage in conversation • Discuss priorities • Develop relationships • Establish mutual respect
- 15. Stephen Covey’s Johari Window
- 16. Perspectives on Time “The rest of my time will be more productive if you give me my workout time.” – Barack Obama, POTUS “I have so much to do today that I need to spend the first three hours with the Lord.” - Martin Luther, theologean
- 17. Make Rest a Routine…
- 19. Integrating Work and Family
- 20. Enriching or Depleting? The Dynamics of Engagement in Work and Family Roles “Findings from a survey of 790 employees reveal evidence for both depletion and enrichment as well as gender differences. Specifically, depletion existed only for women and only in the work-to- family direction. Men experienced enrichment from work to family, while women experienced enrichment from family to work. Overall, more linkages were found between work and family for women than for men.” (Rothbard, 2001, p. 655)
- 21. Involve Family When You Can
- 22. Guard Against Risk of Burning Out Research from the American Psychological Association and the National Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago revealed: • 48% of Americans experienced increased stress over the past five years • 31% of employed adults have difficulty managing their work and family responsibilities • 53% say work leaves them "overtired and overwhelmed." A Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM) poll found that “burnout from my current job” was one of the top reasons that people quit. (Bradberry, 2016)
- 24. Symptoms & Consequences of Burning Out (Bradberry, 2016) Health problems. Cognitive difficulties. Difficulty with work and personal relationships. Taking your work home with you. Fatigue. Negativity. Decreased satisfaction. Losing your motivation. Performance issues. Poor self-care.
- 28. Don’t Just Find Time, Make Time
- 29. Making Time for Life’s Moments
- 30. Be Clear About the Value of Your Time
- 31. One Thing More Valuable Than Time 1. Ask, “Do they make me a better version of myself?” 2. Enjoy the ride with people you enjoy. 3. The value of comfort is priceless. 4. Prioritize people who look out for the people who are important to you. 5. Keep close the people who want to see you win. John Hall Co-founder and President of Calendar
- 32. Recap • Merits of a marginal life • Alternatives to dividing the pie • Strategies for prioritizing our lives
- 33. Let me know how I can helpEKK@VT.Edu
Editor's Notes
- Presentation for Agricultural Sciences senior seminar at Virginia Tech.
- Key points: Merits of a marginal life Alternatives to dividing the pie Strategies for prioritizing our lives
- Note: I’ve been mistaken for a freshman; I’m still learning too.
- “Work-life balance sets an unrealistic expectation of keeping different roles in steady equilibrium. Instead, strive for work-life rhythm. Each week has a repeating pattern of beats—job, family, friends, health, hobbies—that vary in accent and duration.” Adam Grant https://twitter.com/adammgrant/status/1044945289038028800?lang=en
- Work life is part of life, but not your whole life.
- https://qz.com/work/1349189/are-you-an-integrator-or-a-segmentor-knowing-the-answer-can-help-with-work-life-balance/ Consider: Are you more of an integrator or a segmentor? How have your preferences and habits changed over time?
- Distribute blank note cards and writing utensils. Give them time to write their answers; then encourage a few to share their responses. Be sure to connect with my experience of Shevon’s car accident and the livestock show that weekend.
- https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/when-work-takes-over-your-life-adam-grant/ https://www.ted.com/talks/worklife_with_adam_grant_when_work_takes_over_your_life/transcript?language=en “Preventing work from overtaking your life seems harder than ever. But it might actually be easier than you think.” You want to set boundaries, but you also want to be responsive and accessible. How do you strike a balance between the two?
- Note: Picture on right was taken 2.5 weeks after the accident. While Shevon was still unconscious, she had been upgraded.
- Show WESH news story, “Learning to Dance Again” Video length: 3:15
- Ask participants to write their list on the back of the note card. Then, group and prioritize as needed.
- Excerpt from Life@Work GroupZine, the art of balance “The essence of juggling, then, is the ability to realize that we have multiple balls in the air, each of which is important to the overall make-up of our lives, while recognizing that the ball we have in our hand at any given moment—for whatever length of time—is the one we need to ‘influence’ or concentrate on.” – Steven R. Graves Additional resource on Michael Moschen: https://www.ted.com/talks/michael_moschen_juggles_rhythm_and_motion?language=en#t-50924
- Highlight over-commitment in college and how it forced me to delegate and trust
- Note the small group study/discussions with advisor and graduate students (2006) https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/297291.Life_Work_GroupZine
- These are concepts brought up by Stephen Covey, the author of "The 7 habits of highly effective people". Urgent matters, such as a ringing telephone, may grab our attention. However we should make sure that we have a clear view on the important issues and reprioritize as needed. Schedule family time just like you schedule work appointments (e.g., weekly breakfasts with my children and wife) Video length: 2:38 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qwkOMqKqLtc http://smmbc.ca/newsletter-12.htm https://www.ppoe.at/scoutdocs/series/sa_fs/fs_johari.pdf
- Don't try to find the perfect ratio for time allocation, but look for synergy instead
- http://qpolitical.com/real-reason-chick-fil-closes-sunday-will-blow-mind/
- Introduce opportunity with residential college. Share story of how I decided to pursue the opportunity. Highlight image from HRC Super Bowl party: point out Sara lounging in chair at right and Shevon talking to Joseph at top left https://vtnews.vt.edu/articles/2015/08/081815-dsa-facultyprincipals.html
- Enriching or Depleting? The Dynamics of Engagement in Work and Family Roles DOI: 10.2307/3094827 https://www.jstor.org/stable/3094827
- Avoid living a double life Involve family when you can
- https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/signs-youre-burning-out-how-stop-dr-travis-bradberry Note: If you become so tired and overwhelmed that you need to quit your job, you haven’t really fulfilled the role and expectations anyone had intended for you. Turnover is generally a loss for both the employee and the employer.
- Why consistency matters in Relations and Leadership - Simon Sinek https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=njeAb4CLQeI Video length: 4:36 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5OV3RmXhbg https://iamfearlesssoul.com/simon-sinek-real-reason-people-fall-and-stay-in-love/ “Being intense all the time on any activity creates diminishing returns. We need to find that point where the benefit is maximized.” - https://j2-solutions.com/ffft-intensity-vs-consistency/
- https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/signs-youre-burning-out-how-stop-dr-travis-bradberry
- Explain Shevon’s love for tulips (those flowers that are rather ugly for 10 months of the year) First Peter 4:8 says, “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” Proverbs 10:12 says, “Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers over all wrongs.” https://gotquestions.org/love-covers-multitude-sins.html
- Show video on “Many Faces of Love” Video length: 3:53
- Note: I don’t believe love is the result of good fortune; I believe it is a conscious choice that requires a commitment but yields and abundance of rewards.
- Share the story of our first anniversary—chaperoning a chapter FFA officer retreat. I now do a better job of blocking time on my calendar to spend with my wife and children.
- Note the value of tapping into others’ strengths, and accepting the help of family and friends. There is no way to recover the lost time. And, if we are not careful, our relationships can enter a “death spiral” with no hope of recovery. (Too many marriages end this way, and relationships between children and parents can have the same fate.)
- Make sure you love what you do. Discuss the benefits of paying others to fulfill household duties. https://hbr.org/ideacast/2019/01/use-your-money-to-buy-happier-time
- https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/theres-one-thing-more-valuable-than-our-time-thats-who-john-hall/
- Supplemental resources: The Empty Pickle Jar, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uoxup9cy07M Randy Pausch on Time Management, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6r0uOaBhHvs Priorities of Life, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BqBwswtK4U0