1. A CRIME WITH A HAPPY ENDING
In the summer of 2010 my friend Trisha bought tickets for the Sitges Film Festival for both of
us because a film placed in my homeland was premiered. She was really excited, but I felt
scared. Face it, a movie set there couldn´t be good.
Nevertheless, I was pretty surprised when I realized it wasn´t as bad as I had imagined but
much worse. Feeling deeply humiliated, from the bottom of my heart I promised myself and
my neighbours that the affront would be revenged. “As God is my witness…” You know.
Having worked so hard in my vendetta for several months I finally conceived the perfect plan:
Simple, clean and last but not least, very cinematographic. I felt really proud of myself.
The weather was miserable the night I had chosen for performing my evil plan, windy and
rainy. Gabe, my archenemy, was leaving the city bound for a town hotel where he had the idea
of participating in a symposium about cheap horror movies or something like that when
suddenly and by chance his car broke down (just joking. Of course it was me who had
manipulated it before). “No coverage zone? Bad luck, my friend.” I thought while I approached
his car pretending to be an angel sent from heaven. Fortunately, most men trust a blonde
(well, almost blonde) girl with green eyes. They poor idiots.
No sooner had he come into my car that I attacked him with a syringe. “How dare you suppose
that everybody in my place is an insane criminal, you (censored)?” I asked Gabe. “I don´t know
who you are or what you want, but my friends will call the police. They are waiting for me”
cried he. “Oh, I´m afraid you have forgotten the e-mail” I answered him. “What e-mail?” he
tried to ask, but he fell asleep. I had written an e-mail to his friends and family where “he”
explained his need of looking for inspiration. “Don´t worry, - said “he” - I´ll be back in two or
three months.” I told you, my plan was brilliant. I hope they valued the resemblance with
Misery.
Six hours later he woke up in my house. Strongly bound, of course.
-Good morning, Sunshine, time to fix your disgusting film.
Easy as pie.
At first our life together was complicated, but that abduction was the beginning of a beautiful
friendship and even more. Cupid shot his arrows against us and Stockholm Syndrome did the
rest. He finally understood how terrible his movie was and I realized I could have expressed my
feelings using Facebook or something like that. Soon, I stopped binding him.
Now he´s finishing his sequel while I read “What expect when you are expecting” After all, we
are living our personal happy ending.
Eneida Padrón Fuentes – Avanzado 2