Motivating People and Handling Conflict

©Ramiz Allawala, 2004
Lakson Tobacco Ltd.,
Peshawar
February 17 – 20, 2004

Pakistani Ideas Non-Pakistani Ideas
Motivating People to Work Effectively:
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Dealing With Poor Performance:
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Improving Sense Of Urgency/Deadlines:
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Handling Conflicts Between Subordinates and Staff:
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Persuading Staff to Accept Change:
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INTEGRATED LEADERSHIP CASE
AHMED AND THE PRINTER
The sales promotion campaign was under Mr. Ahmed’s responsibility. As the campaign neared it’s opening, Ahmed discovered
that a major printer had not met the promised delivery date. Without these materials, the campaign could possibly fail.
Although Ahmed knew that his boss (Mr. Jamil) would also have a direct interest in this new problem, he decided to work out
the problem by going to another printer, though time was short. He decided not to mention the emergency to his boss, hoping
things would work out.
QUESTIONS
1. What’s your opinion of Mr. Ahmed’s behavior, and the causes?
2. What would you suggest to Ahmed?
3. Can you suggest any procedures to help Mr. Jamil to avoid such problems?

AHMED AND THE PRINTER
The sales promotion campaign was under Mr. Ahmed’s responsibility. As the campaign neared it’s opening, Ahmed discovered that a
major printer had not met the promised delivery date. Without these materials, the campaign could possibly fail.
Although Ahmed knew that his boss (Mr. Jamil) would also have a direct interest in this new problem, he decided to work out the
problem by going to another printer, though time was short. He decided not to mention the emergency to his boss, hoping things
would work out.
QUESTIONS
1. What’s your opinion of Mr. Ahmed’s behavior, and the causes?
2. What would you suggest to Ahmed?
3. Can you suggest any procedures to help Mr. Jamil to avoid such problems?

CHRIS NEWTON
The Home Office appointed Chris Newton for the job in Pakistan because Chris had achieved outstanding results in the U.K. He was
aggressive and efficient.
Starting enthusiastically on his management job in Pakistan, he focused his attention on the work – getting quality products shipped
promptly and meeting the various deadlines. He felt he had little time for socializing among Pakistani colleagues.
After about 6 months he began to notice that the cooperation and team work he was getting from Pakistani colleagues was rather
strained and the working atmosphere seemed formal and lacking in spirit.
QUESTIONS
1. How could Chris’ behavior affect his Pakistani colleagues?
2. What suggestions would you offer?

MR. JAVED
Stephen Schmidt arrived in Islamabad to become department head in a well-known international organization. Mr. Javed was senior
administration officer, just one level junior to department head. He was pleased to make his new colleagues adjustment as successful
as possible. Javed felt good will toward Stephen as well.
One quality especially impressed Stephen: it seemed that no matter what help or service he would ask from Javed, the Pakistani would
do everything possible to provide it. Stephen admired efficiency and results, and he even jobs after hours. Stephen did not notice any
signs of difficulty on Javed’s part.
QUESTIONS
1. Why might Javed behave in this way?
2. If events continue in this way, what might be the consequences?

MR. HAROON’S CAMPAIGN
Mr. Haroon, Marketing Manager of a publishing company, instructed Mr. Mani, the company Circulation Manager, to speed up the
subscription campaign in a certain district of the city.
A week later, Haroon discovered that the campaign had been conducted in a different area from the one assigned. Naturally upset, he
immediately went into Mani’s office, who was talking with two subordinates. In the discussion, which followed, Haroon showed his
frustration openly. It was learned that Mr. Mani had not completely understood Mr. Haroon’s instructions. Haroon said, “Here’s the
file, Mani. Come see me right away when your through!” then he turned and left the office.
QUESTIONS
1. What are the possible causes of this situation?
2. What do you think of Mr. Haroon’s behavior?
3. What would you suggest to each person, in order to improve transaction like this, in future?
· To Mr. Mani?
· To Mr. Haroon?

Focus: High Trust living
 What is Trust and what it is NOT?
 Why Trust building is the most important
activity?
 What is the Trust model?
 How is it implemented?
 How do we know Trust model is working?

Definition of Trust
 According to The American Heritage
Dictionary, trust, as a verb, is:
 To have confidence in: feel sure of
 To expect with assurance; assume
 To believe ...

Definition of Trust
 Trust is also a noun, an action. The American
Heritage Dictionary continues its definition:
 Firm reliance on the integrity, ability, or
character of a person or thing
 Confident belief
 Faith

Additional Words Surrounding Trust
 Integrity
 Root: Integer
 Whole
 Words and deeds genuine
 Belief
 Something true and real
 Image and reality congruent

WHAT TRUST IS
 Trust is believing that words mean what they
appear to mean.
 Trust is experiencing actions that are consistent
with the verbal or written message.
 Trust is having faith that people and the
organization as a whole will do what they say
they'll do: "credibility of actions"!

WHAT TRUST IS NOT
 Trust is not trying to "con" others into believing
that you're something that you're not.
 Trust is not being gullible by believing anything
that anyone says is automatically true.

Why Trust is most important?
 Well being and ability to compete determined
solely by Trust
 Never builds randomly
 Absence of trust leads to:
 Fear, greed, buzzing, “Us vs. Them”
 Replaces language of human spirit by language of
machines
Meaning, inspiration, connection, purpose vs.systems,
hierarchies, structures, processes and cycles

The Trust model
 Closure
 Only true promises
 Non-violent communication
 Speedy resolution
 Respect for all
 Authentic responsibility

Closure
 Details specifics: who, what, when.
 Is evenhanded and not conditional.
 Uses clear, familiar wording.
 Emphasizes positive action.
 Deals with any pending proceedings.
 Provides for future

Only True promises
 Take the risk
 Reinforce the positive
 Use others’ input
 Avoid cordial hypocrisy
 Say what you’ll do __ and do it!

Non-violent Communication
 Translate communications into language of
feelings and needs
 Become an attorney of needs
 Engage in non-judgmental empathy
 Provide presence and emotional first aid

Speedy resolution
 What might work for you?
 What can you do to help resolve this issue?
 What other things might you try?
 What would make this idea work better for you?
 Is there some way we can meet both X’s need for
______________ and Y’s need for
___________________?

Respect for all
 Eliminate blame game and shame game
 Direct consciousness to what works
 Appreciative Inquiry Technique

Authentic responsibility
 Differentiate between reactive living and
proactive living
 Differentiate between “fear of..” and “I can’t
handle…”

Other principles of responsibility
 Be Responsive (Twenty-Four-Hour Rule)
 Handle Issues at the Lowest Possible Level
 Tell the Truth
 Management as Role Model
 Contract or Covenant?

Rebuilding Trust
Recognize Intensity
Examine Place of Breach
Put It Out There-Quickly
Acknowledge Impact
Identify Future Actions
Raise Goals
Reflect on Progress
Repeat Process

Friends
High affinity
Few shared goals
Partners
High affinity
Many shared goals
Enemies
Low affinity
Few shared goals
Adversaries
Low affinity
Many shared goals
ALIGNMENT
AFFINITY
Mutual goals
Level of agreement
Affinity-Alignment Model

Implementing the Trust model
 Trust and Closure audit
 Leadership questions

What Does Success Look Like?
 hallway chatter, but this time about closure
 reduction in buzzing, with an uptick in brainstorming
for closure
 people admitting mistakes and not looking as if they are
about to die
 more ideas flowing from the bottom up
 fewer pretended commitments and quicker correction of
those that do happen
 shorter meetings, with more closure, less infighting

What Does Success Look Like?
 more enthusiasm about work
 a change of vocabulary and an associated growing
awareness about trust dynamics
 more voluntary commitments and an internalization of
commitments-and real effort to meet them
 proud descriptions of changes to outsiders
 tasks getting completed, more and more by their
original time commitment
 less whining

Crucial WESTERN Concepts and Skills
Concept Approximate
Definition
Examples of this
concept in practical
Situation;
Circumstances in which
greater mastery
Skills
required in
practicing
this concept
Other
Guidelines
Accountability Ability and
willingness to “give
an account” or to
explain
Frankness /
Openness
Free in expressing
what one thinks or
feels; free from
reserve OR
concealment.
Clearly evident
Assertiveness Expressing one’s
ideas and oneself
Positively and
actively. Pushing for
Recognition of one’s
position
Contd…… .

Concept
Approximate
Definition
Examples of this
concept in practical
Situation;
Circumstances in
which greater mastery
Skills
required in
practicing
this concept
Other
Guidelines
Initiative /
Innovation
Taking the first step
without being urged by
someone else. Making
changes, introducing
New methods,
procedures
Proactive Thinking ahead,
making plans
Anticipating risks and
opportunities
Tenacity /
Determination
Holding firmly,
toughness, persistence
consistency. Carry on
doing something inspite
of facing difficulties
and obstacles in pursuit
of goals.
Contd…….

Concept Approximate
Definition
Examples of this concept
in practical Situation;
greater mastery
Skills
required in
practicing
this concept
Other
Guidelines
Dedication /
Commitment
A strong pledge/
binding to an agreed
goal
Analytical
Critical
Approach
Constructive
Criticism
Performance
Competence
(Merit Vs. Seniority)
Contd…….

Concept Approximate
Definition
greater mastery
Skills
required in
practicing
this concept
Other
Guidelines
Goal
Orientation/
Focus
Efficiency
Confidentiality
/ Privacy

Crucial PAKISTANI Concepts and
Skills
Concept
Approximate
Definition
greater mastery
Skills
required in
practicing
this concept
Other
Guidelines
Lay-haaz
(Preserving
others
Sentiments)
Ghairat
(Self-respect)
Izzat
(Mutual Respect)
Farma Bardari
(Submission to
authority)
Bar Khurdari
(Respect for
Authority)
Contd…….

Skills
Concept
Approximate
Definition
greater mastery
Skills
required in
practicing
this concept
Other
Guidelines
Sula Joeey
(Acquiescence /
Agreement)
Baradari
(Brotherhood)
Sifarish
Ummah Unity
Inkesari
(Humility /
Humbleness)
Contd…….

Skills
Concept
Approximate
Definition
greater mastery
Skills
required in
practicing
this concept
Other
Guidelines
Takalluff
Afs sous
(Sorrow /
Sympathy)
Sharam
(Shame /
Shyness)
Sakhi
(Big hearted
Narm Dil
(Merciful /
Forgiveness)
Contd…….

Skills
Concept
Approximate
Definition
greater mastery
Skills
required in
practicing
this concept
Other
Guidelines
Family Loyalty
Aman pasandi
(Harmony)
Mardangi
(Masculinity /
Macho)
Naiki
(Kindness /
Good Deed)
Sabar
(Patience)

PROTOCOLS for
when you’re at an IMPASSE
What to DO What to SAY
Embrace the impasse, and tease
apart the current thinking on both
sides.
"What do we both know to be true?
Or, "What do we both sense is true,
but have no data for yet?"
Look for information that will help
people move forward.
"What do we agree on, and what
do we disagree on?"
Consider each person's mental
model as a piece of a larger puzzle.
"Are we starting from two very
different sets of assumptions here?
Contd…….

PROTOCOLS for
when you’re at an IMPASSE
Ask what data or logic might
change their views.
"What, then, would have to happen
before you would consider the
alternative?"
Ask for the group's help in
redesigning the situation.
"It feels like we're getting into an
impasse and I'm afraid we might
walk away without any better
understanding. Have you got any
ideas that will help us clarify our
thinking?"
Don't let conversation stop with
an "agreement to disagree"
"I don't understand the assumptions
underlying our disagreement".

PROTOCOLS for
Improved ADVOCACY
State your assumptions, and
describe the data that led to them.
"Here's what I think, and here's
how I got there".
Make your reasoning explicit. "I came to this conclusion
because…"
Explain the context of your point of
view: who will be affected by what
you propose, how will they be
affected, and why. Give examples,
even if they're hypothetical or
metaphorical.
"Imagine that you're a 16th-century
Spanish explorer. Here's
how this idea would affect you…"
Contd…….

PROTOCOLS for
Improved ADVOCACY
Encourage others to explore your
model, your assumptions, and your
data.
"What do you think about what I
just said?" Or, "Do you see any
flaws in my reasoning?".
Reveal where you are least clear in
your thinking. Rather than making
you vulnerable, this defuses the
force of advocates who are opposed
to you, and invites improvement.
"Here's one aspect that you might
help me think through…"
Even when advocating: listen, stay
open, and encourage others to
provide different views.
"Do you see it differently?"

PROTOCOLS for Improved INQUIRY
Ask others to make their thinking process visible
Gently walk people down the ladder
of inference and find out what data
they are operation from
"What data do you have for that
statement?" Or, more simply: "What
leads you to say that?"
Use unaggressive language,
particularly with people who are not
familiar with these skills.
Instead of "What do you mean?" or
"What's your proof?" say, "Can you
help me understand your thinking
here?"
Draw out their reasoning. Find out as
much as you can about why they are
saying what they're saying.
"What is the significance of that? or,
"How does this relate to your other
concerns?"
Explain your reasons for inquiring,
and how your inquiry relates to your
own concerns, hopes, and needs.
"I'm asking you about your
assumptions here because.."

PROTOCOLS for facing a Point of
View with which you DISAGREE
Make sure you truly understand
the other person's view.
"If I follow you correctly, you're
saying that…"
Explore, listen, and offer your
own views in an open way.
Ask, " Have you considered…"
and then raise your concerns and
state what is leading you to have
them.

When ……….. You might SAY
Strong views are expressed without any
reasoning or illustrations……
"You may be right, but I'd like to
understand more. what leads you to
believe….?
The discussion goes off on an apparent
tangent….
"I'm unclear how that connects to what
we've been saying. Can you say how you
see it as relevant?"
You doubt the relevance of your own
thoughts…
"This may not be relevant now. If so, let me
know and I will wait.."
Several views are advocated at once…. "We now have three ideas on the table (say
what they are). I suggest we address them
one at a time.."
C ontd… ….

When ……….. You might SAY
You perceive a negative reaction in
others
"When you said (give illustration)… I had
the impression you were feeling (fill in the
emotion). If so, I'd like to understand what
I said that led to this'.
People take positions but don't identify
their concerns…
"I understand that is your position. I would
like to understand the concerns you have
…. How do you see your position as the
best way to resolve your concerns?
An assertion is made but its point is not
clear…
"What I understand you to be saying is (fill
in possible interpretation)?" Is that
accurate?"
When it seems like a definition phrase, or
"loaded term" is leading to an impasse…
"When you said, (fill in term), I typically
use that to mean (fill in my connotation).
How are you meaning it?

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