Student name Pre-Marital Curriculum NOTES for your Teaching goes here. This is very helpful to students who take this project and use it. It helps you remember the things you were studying when you built the Premarital Project. 1 Table of Contents You will notice that the outline/map is a bit hard to read in this slide. I would change things up so the couples I’m leading can read it easily. Again, this is a Sample, not an Example, so it can be improved on. NOTES for your Teaching goes here. This is very helpful to students who take this project and use it. It helps you remember the things you were studying when you built the Premarital Project. 2 Session 1. An Intimate Marriage Based in Reality Session 2- In-laws and outlaws Session 4 - Love Styles Session 5 – Hope in Marriage Session 6- Communication Session 7 – Sex Session 8- Forgiven Session 3 – Getting Intimate Personal / Church Philosophy Goes Here NOTES for your Teaching goes here. This is very helpful to students who take this project and use it. It helps you remember the things you were studying when you built the Premarital Project. 3 Session #1 An Intimate Marriage Based in Reality Chances of divorce for newly married couples are between 40-50%. Couples entering their second marriage raise this chance to 55%. The longer a couple is married the lower the chances of divorce. Our focus: Build a strong marriage and reduce the chance of divorce. NOTES for your Teaching goes here. This is very helpful to students who take this project and use it. It helps you remember the things you were studying when you built the Premarital Project. 4 Intimacy begins with a couple that is focused upon God. With God as the focus in marriage, each member grows closer together as they grow closer to God. Husband Wife God NOTES for your Teaching goes here. This is very helpful to students who take this project and use it. It helps you remember the things you were studying when you built the Premarital Project. 5 With a focus upon God in your relationship a marriage can withstand the pressures of the world. Focus upon God allows for separateness of the individual and the oneness of the couple. This allows for an understanding of the unique way God has made your spouse. NOTES for your Teaching goes here. This is very helpful to students who take this project and use it. It helps you remember the things you were studying when you built the Premarital Project. 6 Dispelling myths focusing on reality Myth #1: “Everything good in our relationship will get better.” Some things will get better which is good because you are going to get sideswiped by things you never saw coming. Marriage magnifies any problem area you have with interpersonal relationships. NOTES for your Teaching goes here. This is very helpful to students who take this project and use it. It helps you remember the things you were studying when you built the Premarital Project. 7 .

1. Student name
Pre-Marital Curriculum
NOTES for your Teaching goes here. This is very helpful to
students who take this project and use it. It helps you remember
the things you were studying when you built the Premarital
Project.
1
Table of Contents
You will notice that the outline/map is a bit hard to read in this
slide. I would change things up so the couples I’m leading can
read it easily. Again, this is a Sample, not an Example, so it can
be improved on.
NOTES for your Teaching goes here. This is very helpful to
students who take this project and use it. It helps you remember
the things you were studying when you built the Premarital
Project.
2
Session 1. An Intimate Marriage Based in Reality
Session 2- In-laws and outlaws
Session 4 - Love Styles

2. Session 5 – Hope in Marriage
Session 6- Communication
Session 7 – Sex
Session 8- Forgiven
Session 3 – Getting Intimate
Personal / Church Philosophy Goes Here
NOTES for your Teaching goes here. This is very helpful to
students who take this project and use it. It helps you remember
the things you were studying when you built the Premarital
Project.
3

3. Session #1
An Intimate Marriage Based in Reality
Chances of divorce for newly married couples are between 40-
50%.
Couples entering their second marriage raise this chance to
55%.
The longer a couple is married the lower the chances of divorce.
Our focus: Build a strong marriage and reduce the chance of
divorce.
NOTES for your Teaching goes here. This is very helpful to
students who take this project and use it. It helps you remember
the things you were studying when you built the Premarital
Project.
4
Intimacy begins with a couple that is focused upon God.
With God as the focus
in marriage, each member
grows closer together as
they grow closer to God.
Husband
Wife
God
NOTES for your Teaching goes here. This is very helpful to
students who take this project and use it. It helps you remember
the things you were studying when you built the Premarital
Project.
5

4. With a focus upon God in your relationship a marriage can
withstand the pressures of the world.
Focus upon God allows for separateness of the individual and
the oneness of the couple.
This allows for an understanding of the unique way God has
made your spouse.
NOTES for your Teaching goes here. This is very helpful to
students who take this project and use it. It helps you remember
the things you were studying when you built the Premarital
Project.
6
Dispelling myths focusing on reality
Myth #1: “Everything good in our relationship will get better.”
Some things will get better which is good because you are going
to get sideswiped by things you never saw coming.
Marriage magnifies any problem area you have with
interpersonal relationships.
NOTES for your Teaching goes here. This is very helpful to
students who take this project and use it. It helps you remember
the things you were studying when you built the Premarital
Project.
7
Dispelling myths focusing on reality
Myth #2: “Everything bad in my life will disappear.”
There is one savior and that is Jesus Christ.
John 15:20 “If they persecuted me, they will persecute you

5. also.”
If you have problems now, you will have problems when you
are married.
NOTES for your Teaching goes here. This is very helpful to
students who take this project and use it. It helps you remember
the things you were studying when you built the Premarital
Project.
8
Dispelling myths focusing on reality
Myth #3: “My spouse will make me whole”
Marriage is reliant upon a strand of three cords not two.
Overreliance upon your spouse results in enmeshment.
Marriage is an interdependence upon each other
not a dependence on one another.
NOTES for your Teaching goes here. This is very helpful to
students who take this project and use it. It helps you remember
the things you were studying when you built the Premarital
Project.
9
Dispelling myths focusing on reality
Myth #4: “We expect exactly the same things from marriage.”
Two individuals, from Two separate backgrounds, with Two
Marriage is filled with unwritten, unspoken, and often
unconscious rules.
NOTES for your Teaching goes here. This is very helpful to

6. students who take this project and use it. It helps you remember
the things you were studying when you built the Premarital
Project.
10
Homework
For the next week I want you to think about your marriage ten
commandments.
These are the things you expect and anticipate to happen in
marriage (daily living, where to spend holidays, who works and
when, children…).
Have Fun!
NOTES for your Teaching goes here. This is very helpful to
students who take this project and use it. It helps you remember
the things you were studying when you built the Premarital
Project.
11
Session #2
“But I thought you loved going to my parents”
Have you thought that when you are marrying your spouse you
get the package of their family too?
Family of origin contributes tremendously to our
communication styles, marital roles, and conflict resolution.
Each of your families will follow you into your marriage
whether you want them to or not.

7. NOTES for your Teaching goes here. This is very helpful to
students who take this project and use it. It helps you remember
the things you were studying when you built the Premarital
Project.
12
Communication Styles
Have you considered how your family communicates?
We establish communication patterns we are comfortable with
those patterns tend to be the ones we grew up with in our
parents homes.
Communication also contributes to safety in the home; was it
safe in your home growing up to communicate openly?
NOTES for your Teaching goes here. This is very helpful to
students who take this project and use it. It helps you remember
the things you were studying when you built the Premarital
Project.
13
Family Roles
We each maintain a role in the family.
These roles are often developed by watching our parents.
What roles do you see your partner being in? What roles do you
see yourself in?
Are there any differences in your expected roles?
NOTES for your Teaching goes here. This is very helpful to
students who take this project and use it. It helps you remember
the things you were studying when you built the Premarital

8. Project.
14
Conflict Resolution
How was conflict modeled in your home growing up?
When did you know conflicts were resolved with your parents?
How do you know when conflicts are resolved in your current
relationship?
Proverbs 27:17 identifies iron sharpens iron, what does this
indicate for conflict in a Christ filled marriage?
NOTES for your Teaching goes here. This is very helpful to
students who take this project and use it. It helps you remember
the things you were studying when you built the Premarital
Project.
15
Homework
Discuss some of the elements of your parents marriage that you
disagree with and elements that you like.
This is not free reign to take shots and your parents remember:
Exodus 20:12 "Honor your father and your mother, so that you
may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.”
NOTES for your Teaching goes here. This is very helpful to
students who take this project and use it. It helps you remember
the things you were studying when you built the Premarital
Project.
16
Session #3

9. Getting Intimate
Intimacy is foundational to a marriage; strong marriages work
towards greater intimacy together.
Intimacy includes a couple growing in their faith together
toward Christ as individuals as well as together.
Support, care, honesty, closeness, and communication are all
components that contribute to the experience of intimacy in a
relationship.
Intimacy occurs in different levels with a couple:
Spiritual
Physical
Intellectual
Spiritual Intimacy
If spiritual intimacy is left out of your marriage it gives Satan
tremendous ground to attack you.
Spiritual intimacy involves building each other up in Christ.
Read the Bible together
Pray together
Serve together
Pray for each other
Intellectual Intimacy
This level of intimacy has to do with the sharing of thoughts
and ideas.
Brings couples closer together by sharing in hopes and goals.
Understanding one another’s thoughts aids with understanding
each others motivations.
Exposes emotional needs and how those needs are met.

10. Physical Intimacy
This level of intimacy contributes to and is contributed to by
both intellectual and spiritual intimacy.
Physical intimacy draws husbands and wives together in a
united fashion that communicates interdependence, desire, trust,
and safety.
Homework
For intimacy to be achieved in marriage all three aspects of
intimacy must be focused upon.
For the next week focus upon your spiritual intimacy by reading
the Bible together and praying together, when apart pray for
your partner. Focus you attention upon how you think and feel
about your partner during these times.
Session #4
Do you have any style to your love?
Love is a necessity in marriage but it is a difficult concept to
define. For our purposes we will again utilize a triangle to
identify styles of love:
Passion
Intimacy
Commitment
Passion
This component of love is the physical element of sensation and
desire for physical affection.
This element of loves serves as a motivational factor.
This element fades if couples are not purposeful about
maintaining it in their relationship.

11. Intimacy
While intimacy is foundational to a strong marriage it serves as
an element in the experience of love.
It allows a couple to feel the emotional facets of love.
Growing intimately with each other refuels physical passion in
relationships; allowing each member to feel secure, safe, and
vulnerable with one another.
Commitment
Commitment provides certainty in the midst of an uncertain
world.
The commitment aspect of love serves as the foundational
bedrock that brings stability to the marriage even when passion
and intimacy wax and wane in the waters of the relationship.
It provides the element of the marriage that identifies to one
another that no matter what I will be with you until death parts
us.
Maintaining Balance
Maintaining balance on all three sides of the triangle is
important. A balanced triangle results in consummate love.
Unhealthy love styles throw love off balance
Romantic love: focuses upon passion and intimacy with
commitment lasting as long as the passion and intimacy lasts
Foolish love is built upon commitment and passion with little
focus upon intimacy resulting in commitment that lasts as long
as the passion
Companionable love is built upon intimacy and commitment
with low passion, resulting in a good friendship but ineffective
marital relationship

12. Homework
Focus upon elements of your marriage that fit into these styles
of love. How will you continue to maintain proportional
amounts of passion, intimacy, and commitment in your
relationship?
Session #5
Marriages float, with hope
There is always conflict in marital relationships; in the midst of
this conflict it is vital to find hope.
Hope is defined as:
HOPE = Willpower to change + Waypower to change +
Waitpower even if change is not happening
Without all three of these components hope fades and
eventually dies out.
Hope aids with overcoming obstacles
Problems tend to manifest in marriages in one of eight separate
arenas.
What people generally recognize as a problem is often the
symptom or sign of a deeper issue at hand.
Eight problem areas
Central beliefs and values
Core vision
Confession/forgiveness
Communication
Conflict resolution
Cognition

13. Closeness
Commitment
When conflicts arise they can generally be factored down into
one of these categories; by doing this it allows you to
communicate upon a solution to the core factor as opposed to
the symptoms of the problem.
Homework
Focus upon two ways of promoting hope in your relationship
and future marriage. Two tasks to do are:
1) identify a couple within your lives that will help you build up
your marriage.
2) identify Gods hand at work in your relationship this week;
even if you don’t think He is at work in your relationship He is,
identify where.
Session #6
I Can’t Hear You
97% of couples that report their communication with their
partners is excellent are happily married; compared to 56% who
rate their communication as poor.
Communication patterns are learned; therefore they can be
unlearned and/or relearned.
Two ears, and one mouth this is about the ratio of listening
needed in marriage – listen twice as much as you talk.
We grow as individuals when we listen to our partner; this
growth is not limited to us but our partners also grow in this
process.
When we listen to each other there is an aspect that reaches

14. deeper into each other drawing us closer together.
There is no greater time to listen than when one partner in the
relationship is under distress or there is a conflict brewing.
Speaker-Listener Technique
Conflict and stress tend to gain momentum when we are
experiencing them with or from our spouse.
This technique will aid with developing a sense of how to slow
down a conversation and feel heard.
Speaker & Listener Roles
The speaker is to:
Speak for themselves no mind reading allowed.
Keep statements brief not go on and on.
Stop so the listener can paraphrase.
The listener is to:
paraphrase what is heard without rebutting.
remain focused upon what the speaker has said.
When the speaker is certain the listener has heard, change roles.
Homework
Your homework this week is to utilize this technique at least on
time per day for practice.
This is not a new communication pattern to utilize in typical
conversation but is a safety net to fall back on when difficult
issues are pressed and one of you feels unheard.
Session #7
Sex
A common misnomer of sex in a marriage by those who are

15. unmarried is that “now that I’m married I can have all the sex I
want.”
There are two problems with this statement first it is “I”
focused, second it limits sex to a merely physical act.
Sex is also a cognitive, emotional, and spiritual act.
God designed sex for marriage; therefore it must be important!
Sexual Desire and Drive
Sexual desires and drives are not necessarily the same for each
member in a marriage.
Some people have a higher or lower sex drive.
If this is the case look back to the previous lesson and focus
upon communication to help.
“I want Christians to be known for good sex” Mark Gungor
Sex communicates to each other that you are loved and allowed
into the world of one another.
Elements in a marriage that lead to sexual gratification come
through developing intimacy.
Sex is the build up and anticipation that precede the act of sex.
Husbands: if you want to have sex tonight begin this morning
by complimenting your wife.
Homework
Read the book of Song of Songs together and discuss what you
may not understand as well as what you do understand.
Discuss how sex is more than just a physical action that occurs
between the man and woman in the book.
Session #8
Forgiveness
While conflict isn’t a requirement in marriage, it is an

16. unavoidable consequence of putting a man and woman together
in a marital relationship.
Reconciliation is necessary in marriage; to achieve
reconciliation there must be confession and forgiveness .
Steps to confession
There are four steps that aid with confession.
The first step is a recognizing the hurt the other is experiencing.
Second recognize that you have contributed to the hurt.
Third identifying and accepting that your actions were wrong.
Fourth a heartfelt desire to change your actions.
Forgiving
Forgiveness does not imply that you have forgotten about the
actions of the other person, but it is also not complete when you
still desire for the other person to have some type of difficulty
befall them.
Forgiving is stating is that you will not bring it up again and
that you do not seek any revenge for the action.
This does not imply that you will place yourself back into a
harmful situation but that there is a “reduction in the desire to
distance, seek revenge, or defend oneself and a desire to
reconcile if good moral norms can be reestablished.”
(Worthington 1999, p.134)
Homework
Discuss with one another the elements within your life as an
individual that God has forgiven you through the sacrifice of
His Son Jesus Christ.
By understanding how much we have been forgiven it often

17. enables us to forgive one another with greater ease allowing for
confession and reconciliation.
References
You will need to not only cite your sources as you use them in
the above sessions, you will need to develop a slide that has
them listed here.
48
PACO 603
Premarital Curriculum Project Instructions
For this assignment, you will develop a working premarital
curriculum by first submitting a draft of your work, followed by
a final submission of the curriculum. It must be designed and
presented as a PowerPoint presentation. This is an opportunity
for you to create a curriculum that will help couples accurately
assess their compatibility for marriage as well as help them
navigate their first three years of marriage successfully. The
goal is for you to be able to actually use this in a class/small
group setting or a large counseling session with a group of
premarital couples. Make sure to use relevant Scripture
throughout your presentation and include a slide for each
homework/activity assigned along with instructions that capture
your expectations for completing each homework/activity
assignment.
I. Draft
For your draft, provide an overall outline of your project with
your topic heading slides, introduction, and conclusion. It must
cover 8–12 weeks and have a minimum of 15 slides. See the

18. Premarital Curriculum Project – Draft Grading Rubric to ensure
you are meeting all criteria. The Draft should have:
1. An Introduction
a. Your name on the cover slide. This is often forgotten, but it
gives ownership to and shows pride in what you have built.
b. Rationale (Church/individual philosophy, Biblical and
otherwise)
c. Outline of the teaching journey. Simply stated, a road map of
where the course/curriculum is going. This (often a single slide)
is found in the “introduction section” of the entire teaching
project.
d. At least one slide, with content, of each session. Of course
you will have more in the final, but this allows you to develop a
good path for your built. At least 8 sessions or weekly meetings.
Most students include a homework slide, but it is not necessary
in the “draft”
e. A Reference / Bibliography slide at the end. Although this
will not be complete, include one to keep your format/structure
for the project.
Premarital Counseling Curriculum (Final) 150 points
Criteria
Levels of Achievement
Advanced
Proficient
Developing
Element
Excellent:
Satisfies criteria w/ excellent work
Good:
Satisfies criteria
Average:
Satisfies most criteria

19. Poor:
Does not satisfy criteria
Not Present
Content 70% (105 pts.)
Introduction
(30 pts)
28 to 30 pts.
Relevant and current statistics for marriage in chosen
community are included.
Home church’s/community’s stance on premarital counseling
articulated.
Personal philosophy supporting your curriculum development
clarified.
Introduction is clear, with a “hook” that provides a clear and
compelling rationale for engaging in the curriculum
26 to 27 pts.
Some statistics for marriage are included. Introduction provides
a rationale for participating in the curriculum.
Required information (church’s stance and personal philosophy)
are articulated.
23 to 25 pts.
Introduction is present, but weak.
Some information is missing.
Little attempt to “hook” potential participants.
1 to 22 pts.
Minimal attempt to engage audience with introductory
information.
Statistics are incorrect, not substantiated.
Information is not adequately provided.
0 pts.
No introduction present.
Curriculum - Content

20. (50 pts)
46 to 50 pts
Content is relevant.
Key premarital issues are addressed by the curriculum.
Curriculum includes biblical support and guidance
Curriculum includes adequate research support (minimum of 5
sources cited)
Curriculum proceeds logically.
42 to 45 pts.
Content is relevant with minimal gaps in premarital issues
present.
An attempt to include biblical support and guidance is evident.
At least five sources are cited.
38 to 41 pts.
Content is minimally relevant to the topic. Minimal attempt to
include biblical support and guidance. Consistent
errors/missing content.
Fewer than 5 sources are cited.
Topics lack focus in presentation.
1 to 37 pts.
Content is not relevant or includes inaccuracies.
No biblical support or guidance is provided.
Topics poorly organized.
0 pts.
Not present
Curriculum – Sufficient
(25 pts)
23 to 25 pts.
Powerpoint includes content (at least title slides) sufficient to
provide 8 to 12 weeks of material.
Weekly topics are clearly articulated.
Overview of content provided (summary)
21 to 22 pts.
Powerpoint content minimally covers 8 to 12 weeks’ worth of
content.
Weekly topics are articulated.

21. 19 to 20 pts.
Powerpoint content is confusing/lacks focus and clarity.
No summary is provided.
1 to 18 pts.
Powerpoint content is insufficient and poorly articulated.
Content is not robust enough.
No summary is provided.
0 pts.
Not present
Structure 30% (45 pts.)
Powerpoint Presentation
(30 pts)
28 to 30 pts.
Slides are clear, concise, not overloaded with words, message is
clearly conveyed.
Slides are visually appealing and interest audience.
26 to 27 pts.
Slides convey knowledge well, but could be more concise or
neat.
Slides do not excite interest.
23 to 25 pts.
Slides include too much information that overwhelms the
audience.
1 to 22 pts.
Slides are distracting and do not clearly convey the information
intended.
0 pts.
Not present
Grammar, spelling, APA citation (if applicable)
(15 pts)
14 to 15 pts.
Spelling and grammar are correct.

22. Assignment is typographically correct.
Citations and references cited in current APA or Turabian
format.
13 pts.
Some spelling or grammatical errors.
Some typographical errors.
Citations are “mostly” in current APA or Turabian format.
12 pts.
Spelling and grammar errors distract.
Typographical errors distract from content.
References are minimally cited in current APA or Turabian
format.
1 to 11 pts.
Spelling, grammar, and/or typographical errors distract.
References are not cited in current APA or Turabian format.
.
0 pts.
Not present