Help Keeping the Knot Tied II Marriage Ministry First Steps Marital Knots for Couples Enrichment by Rev. Brian and Maria D...
Review <ul><li>* Yesterday we discussed the steps to begin a Marriage ministry in your church and gave an overview of Star...
Questions <ul><li>Does anyone have questions on what was presented yesterday? </li></ul>
8 Habits of a Successful Marriage <ul><li>Be Proactive </li></ul><ul><li>Begin With the End in Mind </li></ul><ul><li>Put ...
What does a healthy marriage  feel like? <ul><li>Safe </li></ul><ul><li>Accepting </li></ul><ul><li>Understanding </li></u...
The Benefits of Marriage <ul><li>Lower mortality  </li></ul><ul><li>Better health  </li></ul><ul><li>Greater financial wel...
The 3 C’s of  a Successful Marriage Roof Framework Foundation
Build a Foundation of  High-Trust Character The first habit you need to build a foundation of high-trust character is: Hab...
Habit 1: Be Proactive Pause  Think Choose Situation Response <ul><li>Create a space between your response and what is happ...
Activity <ul><li>Talk about one situation in which you tend to be reactive. </li></ul><ul><li>How could you pause to take ...
Build a Foundation of  High-Trust Character The second habit you need to build a foundation of high-trust character is: Ha...
Habit 2:  Begin With the End in Mind <ul><li>Shape your future… What do you want your marriage to stand for? </li></ul>
Marriage Mission Statements Our Marriage Mission: To love each other…to help each other…to believe in each other…to wisely...
Activity Begin a Marriage Mission Statement How do you want to live, love, learn and leave a legacy together?
Build a Foundation of  High-Trust Character The third habit you need to build a foundation of high-trust character is: Hab...
Habit 3: Put First Things First Your BIG ROCKS are your values—the things that are most important to you. Your LITTLE ROCK...
Activity <ul><li>Identify the “Big Rocks” </li></ul><ul><li>Discussion with partner about the importance of “couple time” ...
Build a Framework of  Effective Communication The first habit you need to build a framework of effective communication is:...
The Four Ways of Thinking <ul><li>WIN-LOSE (Bully) </li></ul><ul><li>I don’t care about your needs </li></ul><ul><li>I onl...
Activity <ul><li>Thinking about what is a win for you </li></ul><ul><li>Recognizing what is a win for your partner </li></ul>
Build a Framework of  Effective Communication The second habit you need to build a framework of effective communication is...
How Can You Listen  for Understanding? <ul><li>Make eye contact. </li></ul><ul><li>Look for and recognize body language. <...
Activity <ul><li>Talking Stick </li></ul>
Build a Framework of Effective Communication <ul><li>The third habit you need to build a framework of effective communicat...
Habit 6: Synergize <ul><li>What is Synergy and the role it plays in marriage. </li></ul><ul><li>Activity:  Demonstrate Syn...
Build a Protection of Unselfish Companionship The first habit you need to build the protection of unselfish companionship:...
Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw Sharpen the Saw means to take care of you and your marriage.
The Whole Person
Activity <ul><li>Decide what we can do as a couple to keep our marriage sharp </li></ul>
Build the Protection of  Unselfish Companionship The first habit you need to build the protection of unselfish companionsh...
The Elements of Kindness 1. Choose kind words. 2. Speak in a soft tone. 3. Give rather than take.
Gives and Takes Why do marriages succeed or fail?  Amazingly, we have found that it all comes  down to a simple mathematic...
Resources <ul><li>www.franklincovey.com </li></ul><ul><li>www.HealthyMarriageTips.com </li></ul><ul><li>www.Growthtrac.com...
Questions?
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Help Keeping the Knot Tied 2

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Help Keeping the Knot Tied 2

  1. 1. Help Keeping the Knot Tied II Marriage Ministry First Steps Marital Knots for Couples Enrichment by Rev. Brian and Maria Dixon Lakeland Baptist Association Kingdom Growth Conference – Parklawn Assembly of God Church May 13, 2010
  2. 2. Review <ul><li>* Yesterday we discussed the steps to begin a Marriage ministry in your church and gave an overview of Start Smart Curriculum. </li></ul><ul><li>* Today we will give an overview of a curriculum your church can utilize to enrich marriages. </li></ul>
  3. 3. Questions <ul><li>Does anyone have questions on what was presented yesterday? </li></ul>
  4. 4. 8 Habits of a Successful Marriage <ul><li>Be Proactive </li></ul><ul><li>Begin With the End in Mind </li></ul><ul><li>Put First Things First </li></ul><ul><li>Think Win-Win </li></ul><ul><li>Listen First, Talk Second </li></ul><ul><li>Synergize </li></ul><ul><li>Sharpen the Saw </li></ul><ul><li>Lift Yourself by Lifting Others </li></ul>
  5. 5. What does a healthy marriage feel like? <ul><li>Safe </li></ul><ul><li>Accepting </li></ul><ul><li>Understanding </li></ul><ul><li>Happiness </li></ul><ul><li>Mutual Benefit </li></ul><ul><li>Cooperation </li></ul>
  6. 6. The Benefits of Marriage <ul><li>Lower mortality </li></ul><ul><li>Better health </li></ul><ul><li>Greater financial well-being </li></ul><ul><li>Less suicide </li></ul><ul><li>Greater happiness </li></ul><ul><li>Less intimate partner violence </li></ul>
  7. 7. The 3 C’s of a Successful Marriage Roof Framework Foundation
  8. 8. Build a Foundation of High-Trust Character The first habit you need to build a foundation of high-trust character is: Habit 1: Be Proactive
  9. 9. Habit 1: Be Proactive Pause Think Choose Situation Response <ul><li>Create a space between your response and what is happening to you. </li></ul><ul><li>Consider the consequences of your actions. </li></ul>
  10. 10. Activity <ul><li>Talk about one situation in which you tend to be reactive. </li></ul><ul><li>How could you pause to take control? </li></ul><ul><li>What do you think about during the pause? </li></ul><ul><li>Choose what you will do and why. </li></ul>
  11. 11. Build a Foundation of High-Trust Character The second habit you need to build a foundation of high-trust character is: Habit 2: Begin With the End in Mind
  12. 12. Habit 2: Begin With the End in Mind <ul><li>Shape your future… What do you want your marriage to stand for? </li></ul>
  13. 13. Marriage Mission Statements Our Marriage Mission: To love each other…to help each other…to believe in each other…to wisely use our time, talents, and resources to bless others… to worship together forever. Our marriage is great— As equal partners, we want to love, have fun, teach, and learn. We are a great team. We circle at the summit. “ No Empty Chairs” John and Jane Covey A Married Couple’s Motto… It is our belief that the other is never wrong. Rather than blame or accuse, we simply ask the other: “Will you help me understand?” With love and understanding, we will grow our lives together.
  14. 14. Activity Begin a Marriage Mission Statement How do you want to live, love, learn and leave a legacy together?
  15. 15. Build a Foundation of High-Trust Character The third habit you need to build a foundation of high-trust character is: Habit 3: Put First Things First
  16. 16. Habit 3: Put First Things First Your BIG ROCKS are your values—the things that are most important to you. Your LITTLE ROCKS are the things that get in the way of being true to your values—your big-rock “barriers”.
  17. 17. Activity <ul><li>Identify the “Big Rocks” </li></ul><ul><li>Discussion with partner about the importance of “couple time” </li></ul><ul><li>Planning a partner Power Hour </li></ul>
  18. 18. Build a Framework of Effective Communication The first habit you need to build a framework of effective communication is: Habit 4: Think Win-Win
  19. 19. The Four Ways of Thinking <ul><li>WIN-LOSE (Bully) </li></ul><ul><li>I don’t care about your needs </li></ul><ul><li>I only care about mine </li></ul><ul><li>LOSE-WIN (Victim) </li></ul><ul><li>I’m not important </li></ul><ul><li>Don’t worry about me </li></ul><ul><li>LOSE-LOSE (Opponents) </li></ul><ul><li>If I’m going down, you’re going down with me. </li></ul><ul><li>WIN-WIN (Teammates) </li></ul><ul><li>You and I can work together </li></ul><ul><li>We are a team! </li></ul><ul><li>What would be a win for us? </li></ul>
  20. 20. Activity <ul><li>Thinking about what is a win for you </li></ul><ul><li>Recognizing what is a win for your partner </li></ul>
  21. 21. Build a Framework of Effective Communication The second habit you need to build a framework of effective communication is: Habit 5: Listen First, Talk Second
  22. 22. How Can You Listen for Understanding? <ul><li>Make eye contact. </li></ul><ul><li>Look for and recognize body language. </li></ul><ul><li>Avoid “door slammers.” </li></ul><ul><li>Use Talking-Stick communication </li></ul><ul><li>(Listen First, Talk Second.) </li></ul>
  23. 23. Activity <ul><li>Talking Stick </li></ul>
  24. 24. Build a Framework of Effective Communication <ul><li>The third habit you need to build a framework of effective communication is: </li></ul>Habit 6: Synergize
  25. 25. Habit 6: Synergize <ul><li>What is Synergy and the role it plays in marriage. </li></ul><ul><li>Activity: Demonstrate Synergy in action </li></ul>
  26. 26. Build a Protection of Unselfish Companionship The first habit you need to build the protection of unselfish companionship: Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw
  27. 27. Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw Sharpen the Saw means to take care of you and your marriage.
  28. 28. The Whole Person
  29. 29. Activity <ul><li>Decide what we can do as a couple to keep our marriage sharp </li></ul>
  30. 30. Build the Protection of Unselfish Companionship The first habit you need to build the protection of unselfish companionship: Habit 8: Lifting Yourself by Lifting Others
  31. 31. The Elements of Kindness 1. Choose kind words. 2. Speak in a soft tone. 3. Give rather than take.
  32. 32. Gives and Takes Why do marriages succeed or fail? Amazingly, we have found that it all comes down to a simple mathematical formula: No matter what style your marriage follows, you must have at least five times as many positive moments, ( GIVES) , as negative moments, (T AKES) , if your marriage is to be stable. — JOHN GOTTMAN, PH.D.
  33. 33. Resources <ul><li>www.franklincovey.com </li></ul><ul><li>www.HealthyMarriageTips.com </li></ul><ul><li>www.Growthtrac.com </li></ul>
  34. 34. Questions?

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