Chapter 7 Problem Group Behaviors In a sense, every group member is a problem. No one in the group, including the leader, is completely whole and always interacts with others in the healthiest way. Most problems in the group are not the result of a problem member but an interaction of the “problem” member with the group and the group leader. Leaders need to be aware of how certain behaviors can either decrease or increase problem behaviors. Corey, Corey & Corey (2010, p. 197) gave a list of appropriate interventions when dealing with problem behaviors. Do not dismiss members. (Personal note: I basically agree with this but when all else fails, it may be necessary to dismiss a member). Do not denigrate the character of a member. Avoid sarcasm.
Educate the members about how the group works.
Be honest and clear.
Encourage members to explore their defensiveness rather than demanding that they give it up.
Avoid labeling. Make observations and hunches in tentative ways. Avoid stereotyping.
Do not intimidate members.
Be caring and respectful when you challenge members. Do not avoid conflict. Be supportive even when you are confrontational.
Do not take members’ reactions personally.
Help the member explore the problem rather than giving simplistic solutions.
Do not meet your own needs at the expense of the member.
Encourage other group members to share how they are affected by the problem behavior without judging, evaluating or criticizing.
Jacobs, Masson & Harvill (2009, pp. 377-395) identified some common problems in groups. The chronic talker persistently rambles and repeats herself. This blocks other members from discussing their concerns and goals and consequently, they lose interest and tune out the person. It is the therapist’s job to check this behavior. To be effective the leader must consider both the talker and the group that has allowed this individual to dominate. On the one hand, the leader might point out that the group is allowing this individual to carry the burden of the meeting; while on the other hand, pointing out to the individual that she needs to reveal more of herself in fewer words. Do not reject the talker but invite her to engage more fully in the group (Yalom & Leszcz, 2005, pp. 391-397). The dominator attempts to rule the group. She wants to be in control. The leader can approach this problem by meeting with the member privately to discuss this problem or give the member a role in the group that helps her feel some control. (Personal note: I would only meet with the member privately as a last resort. I think everything should be dealt with in the group if at all possible. If I expect the members to only talk about the group in the group, then I should model this behavior). The distracter is either seeking attention or avoiding looking at self. She brings up unrelated topics or asks irrelevant questions. Usually she is unaware of what she is doing. Helping the member become aware of what she is doing and then ignoring th ...

1. Chapter 7
Problem Group Behaviors
In a sense, every group member is a problem. No one in the
group, including the leader, is completely whole and always
interacts with others in the healthiest way. Most problems in the
group are not the result of a problem member but an interaction
of the “problem” member with the group and the group leader.
Leaders need to be aware of how certain behaviors can either
decrease or increase problem behaviors.
Corey, Corey & Corey (2010, p. 197) gave a list of appropriate
interventions when dealing with problem behaviors.
Do not dismiss members. (Personal note: I basically agree with
this but when all else fails, it may be necessary to dismiss a
member).
Do not denigrate the character of a member.
Avoid sarcasm. Educate the members about how the group
works. Be honest and clear. Encourage members to explore
their defensiveness rather than demanding that they give it
up. Avoid labeling.
Make observations and hunches in tentative ways. Avoid
stereotyping. Do not intimidate members. Be caring and
respectful when you challenge members. Do not avoid conflict.
Be supportive even when you are confrontational. Do not take
members’ reactions personally. Help the member explore the
problem rather than giving simplistic solutions. Do not meet
your own needs at the expense of the member. Encourage
other group members to share how they are affected by the
problem behavior
without judging, evaluating or criticizing. Jacobs, Masson &
Harvill (2009, pp. 377-395) identified some common problems
in groups. The chronic talker persistently rambles and repeats
herself. This blocks other members
from discussing their concerns and goals and consequently, they

2. lose interest and tune out the person.
It is the therapist’s job to check this behavior. To be effective
the leader must consider both the talker and the group that has
allowed this individual to dominate. On the one hand, the leader
might point out that the group is allowing this individual to
carry the burden of the meeting; while on the other hand,
pointing out to the individual that she needs to reveal more of
herself in fewer words. Do not reject the talker but invite her to
engage more fully in the group (Yalom & Leszcz, 2005, pp.
391-397).
The dominator attempts to rule the group. She wants to be in
control. The leader can approach this problem by meeting with
the member privately to discuss this problem or give the
member a role in the group that helps her feel some control.
(Personal note: I would only meet with the member privately as
a last resort. I think everything should be dealt with in the
group if at all possible. If I expect the members to only talk
about the group in the group, then I should model this
behavior).
The distracter is either seeking attention or avoiding looking at
self. She brings up unrelated topics or asks irrelevant questions.
Usually she is unaware of what she is doing. Helping the
member become aware of what she is doing and then ignoring
the distractive behavior often helps to minimize the effect.
The rescuing member attempts to smooth over negative feelings
experienced by another group member. She might attempt to
encourage the member in pain by assuring this member that
everything will be okay. This is not helpful because it is
patronizing and may prevent the suffering member from
resolving the problem. (Personal note: I find this to be a very
common problem with many group members attempting to
rescue from time to time. I confront this by pointing out to the
suffering member that everything may not turn out okay and we
need to help her resolve her suffering regardless of the
outcome).
The negative member constantly complains about the group or

3. disagrees consistently with the other members. This can become
contagious. One negative member can influence other
members to also become negative. This may lead the group
sessions to become gripe sessions rather than sessions that are
productive. As much as possible, the leader should focus her
attention on the positive members and encourage them to talk
more.
The resistant member has negative expectations about the
effectiveness of the group. Because she believes that the group
will not be helpful, she refuses to cooperate. The leader can
allow her to discuss her negative expectations and lead her to
express ways that the group might become helpful to her. Also,
as she witnesses others being helped by the group, she may
begin to change her perspective.
The member who tries to “get the leader” attempts to sabotage
what the leader is saying or doing in the group. This can take
several forms. This person might disagree with the leader,
refuse to follow the instructions of the leader, ask unanswerable
questions to make the leader look bad or talk while others are
talking. Many times the leader has caused this negative attitude
by something she has said or done. When this situation arises,
the leader should make every attempt to avoid a power struggle
with this member. If the leader knows what she has done to
upset this member, she should attempt to rectify it. If she does
not know, she might ask the member if she has done anything
upsetting and if the member responds, the leader should do what
she can to resolve it.
The silent member is non-talkative because she is confused,
fearful of talking or bored. While members can resolve issues
by listening to others, it is doubtful that one can benefit as
much as possible if she is silent most of the time. The silent
member can also negatively affect others because they may stop
sharing if everyone is not carrying her share of the load.
The more one talks in the group, the more she is valued by
others and by self. Self- disclosure is essential for group
cohesion and is directly related to therapeutic outcome. Silence

4. is behavior and has meaning in the here-and-now, representing
the member’s way of relating to her interpersonal world. The
therapeutic task is to change the behavior and also to explore
the meaning of the behavior (Yalom & Leszcz, 2005, pp. 397-
400).
Sometimes group members are sexually attracted to other group
members. When this occurs, members may try to impress each
other; hold back sharing; or they may become jealous, hurt or
angry at what another member is sharing. These behaviors can
be detrimental to the group. The leader must be aware that
sexual attraction can occur. It may be well to discuss how being
sexually attracted to another group member can become a
problem. If a relationship between two group members is
causing a problem in the group, the issue should be discussed in
the group. It should not be ignored. Most likely, it will not
resolve itself.
The overly emotional member may cry many times in the group.
She may cry when a certain topic is discussed or when a
particular type of exchange occurs between members of the
group. The tears may range from moisture in the eyes to
uncontrollable sobbing. The crying may indicate a range of
emotions including sadness, fear, anger, depression, aloneness,
confusion, anxiety and even happiness or the crying may be a
way to manipulate the group into giving her sympathy. I always
assume the tears are legitimate and respond accordingly until I
am certain that it is manipulation. Then I confront the member
in a supportive and encouraging way to face the truth about
what the tears are really about. One way to work with a crier is
to ask her to listen to her tears and hear what they are telling
her.
The hostile member dislikes another member of the group. This
may lead to arguments, disagreements and silence between
members. Focusing on the process of how the member came to
dislike the other member can be helpful in resolving the issue.
When this issue is resolved, it can solidify the group and build
cohesion. However, there may be times when the issue is not

5. resolved. The goal becomes to not allow the dislike to interfere
with the progress of the group. One of the ways that I work with
these situations is to ask the two individuals to change places
and become each other and converse as if they are the other
person. This helps them see the other person’s perspective and
they can begin to better understand the other group member.
The prejudiced or insensitive member may attempt to force her
views on the group through preaching or moralizing. The leader
should be tolerant of members’ views and only intervene when a
member’s comments are bigoted or insensitive. Once I had a
member in a group who believed that it was his job to convert
group members to his religious faith. Anytime, he would begin
to preach, I would gently stop him and point out that we were
not here to hear sermons. After several times, he got the
message and the preaching stopped.
Yalom & Leszcz (2005, pp. 400-405) discussed two other types
of problem members that are worth mentioning.
The boring member complains that she never has anything to
say to others; that she is ignored at parties; that she never gets
invited anywhere; that others use her only for sex; that she is
inhibited, shy, socially awkward, empty and bland. This person
bores the group and the therapist. She is inhibited, lacks
spontaneity and never takes risks. She says what she thinks the
group members want to hear. If you, as the therapist, are bored
with a group member, assume that the other group members are
also bored. You can counter your boredom with curiosity. Begin
to search for what is exciting, creative, vital or childlike in the
person. You might ask the member to remember a time when
she felt interesting and ask her to share this experience. You
can then point out her strengths, skills, characteristics that she
can use to become interesting. Other group members can
encourage and support her and allow her to practice being
interesting.
The help-rejecting complainer asks for help and then rejects any
help that is given. She takes pride in the fact that her problem
cannot be solved. She often tends to exaggerate the problem and

6. to blame others. She is entirely self-centered. Her rejection of
help can take several forms: she can reject help overtly;
indirectly; accept it verbally but then never act on it; or if it is
acted upon, it fails. The group is affected negatively and
becomes irritated, frustrated and/or confused. Group
cohesiveness is undermined. This is a difficult member to help.
Giving advice or offering suggestions is fruitless. The only way
I have found to productively respond is to put the member in a
situation where she provides the solution. This might be done
through asking the miracle question or having her imagine
talking with a wise person and hearing the solution that this
wise person gives her. In working with the here-and-now
process, the member must be confronted in a gentle and kind
way to face what she is doing and to develop a new way of
relating to the group.
The involuntary member is present because she has been
mandated to attend. Schimmel & Jacobs (March, 2014, pp. 48-
53) stated that leading a group is about the art of engagement.
They point out that this is especially true for the involuntary
member. The group must be interesting and appealing to engage
this member. They think the following five skills are necessary
to be effective with an involuntary member. First, the leader
must creatively engage the member. Second, the leader must be
energetic. Little or no enthusiasm will lose the involuntary
member. Third, be positive especially when responding to the
involuntary member. Fourth, be patient. Don’t get discouraged
with this member. Fifth, be thick-skinned. Know that this
member will challenge you, ignore you and attack you. Be
prepared to deal with resistance and defiance. One of the ways
that I approach the involuntary member is to point out that she
must attend the group, so why not work on changing what she
must change to get the authority figure off her
back. If I can successfully convince her that I am on her side
and that this group can be beneficial for her, usually she will
become a willing participant in the group.
Questions to Ponder

7. 1. As a group member assume that you fit one of these
categories of problem members. Which is it and why do you
think you most fit this category?
2. As a group leader which problem member would be most
difficult for you? Why?