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SILICON VALLEY
   AGILE LEADERSHIP NETWORK
   APRIL 10, 2012
   AT




   Rapid Rapport:

   CREATING INFLUENCE
   ON DEMAND

Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04   Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   1
What you get:

   INCREASE COMMUNICATION
   EFFECTIVENESS UP TO 5X

Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04   Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YcTgjR5iV1Y

   WOULD IT BE OK TO SEE A DEMO?


Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04   Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   3
Bernie Maloney, CSP
PE, CSM, CSPO
Strategic Program Management


matrix management
= Influence without Authority




Neuro Linguistic Programming Practitioner
 Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04    Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   4
I’VE GOT GOOD NEWS & BAD NEWS


Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04   Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   5
Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04   Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   6
Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04   Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   7
Outcome: Recognize and Practice
   Verbal Technology to Build Rapport                         Fast

    •   Why: Significance and Basis
    •   How: Applications in Technology Teams
    •   What’s Behind This: Get the Abstraction
    •   Summary & Resources




   OUTLINE


Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04   Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney          8
WHY = FIRST IMPRESSIONS MATTER
                   Before Confirmation Bias




Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04              Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   9
Does the 1st 60 seconds really matter?




Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04        Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   10
Ever had a telemarketer call?




Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04        Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   11
& you asked to hear more?




Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04       Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   12
Even socially




Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04        Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   13
Confirmation Bias




Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04       Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   14
HOW: APPLICATIONS IN TECHNOLOGY TEAMS




Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04     Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   15
7%



                       Physiology
                       Tonality           38%
                       Words                                              55%




                   Communication Goes (way, way, way) Beyond Words
                   e.g. Ray Birdwhistle, University of Pennsylvania
                   Verbal vectors:   Tone, Pitch
                                     Tempo: Speed & Cadence
                                     Timbre
                                     Volume
Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04               Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney         16
Translating into (Agile) Practice




Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04         Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   17
7%




Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04   Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   18
35+%




Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04   Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   19
55%




Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04   Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   20
What if teams increase communication effectiveness by even half this?

   5X?                                                        OR 10X?


Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04   Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney                21
Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04   Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   22
THE TIP? LOWER UNCONSCIOUS BARRIERS




Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04     Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   23
The Principle




Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04        Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   24
Build Rapport: Offer similar patterns
                   Tonality (35+%!)
                  --------------------- how people represent information – another talk
                   Words (7%): keys to
                  ---------------------
                   Physiological (55%!)


Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04               Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney                   25
Pair off: Verbal Mirroring & Matching
                   Keep statements short (get multiple practice exchanges)               Tone, Pitch
                   Person A: Start with a Question                                       Tempo: Speed & Cadence
                   Person B: Short response, using similar verbal behaviors > Question   Timbre
                   Switch roles at signal                                                Volume
Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04              Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney                                  26
Insights: Verbal Mirroring & Matching




Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04       Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   27
Get the Abstraction

   WHAT’S BEHIND THIS?


Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04   Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   28
It began in the Santa Cruz Mountains…




Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04       Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   29
Virginia Satir’s Change Model




Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04        Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   30
Principle: Success Leaves Footprints




Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04        Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   31
2B bps info




   NLP MODEL OF COMMUNICATION


Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04   Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   32
2MB (~16 Mb)
                               (HD 1920x1080)




Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04     Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   33
Conscious Mind processes
                                                        ~134 bps
                                                        in groups of
     2B bps info                                        7 +/- 2 “chunks”




                                                                                   Delete
                                                                                   Distort
                                                                                   Generalize



   Unconscious Programming = Barrier: Friend or Foe? Fight or Flight?

   NLP MODEL OF COMMUNICATION


Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04   Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney                              34
Pair off: Layer in Physical Mirroring & Matching
                   Keep statements short (get multiple practice exchanges)           Tone, Pitch
                   Question || Short Response || Question back                       Tempo: Speed & Cadence
                   Keep movements gentle, and when noticed, offer similar behavior   Timbre
                                                                                     Volume
Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04              Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney                              35
Insights: Physical Mirroring & Matching




Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04       Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   36
Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04   Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   37
BONUS (time permitting): Pacing & Leading
                   Keep statements short (get multiple practice exchanges)
                   Question || Short Response || Question back
                   Keep movements gentle,
                               once physical rapport noticed, shift a little & observe
Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04                Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney                 38
BONUS (time permitting): Mis-Matching
                   Keep statements short                                          Tone, Pitch
                   Person A: State an insight from this or another source today   Tempo: Speed & Cadence
                   Person B: Respond using VERY DIFFERENT verbal behaviors        Timbre
                   Switch roles at signal                                         Volume
Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04               Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney                          39
SUMMARY


Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04   Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   40
TWO TYPES OF STUDENTS


Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04   Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   41
Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04   Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   42
Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04   Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   43
DECIDE: WHICH TYPE ARE YOU?


Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04   Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   44
7%



                       Physiology
                       Tonality           38%
                       Words                                              55%




                   Communication Goes (way, way, way) Beyond Words

                   Tonality (35+%!)
                   Words (7%): keys to how people represent information
                   Physiological (55%!)


Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04              Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney          45
Building Rapport Lowers Unconscious Barriers




Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04       Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   46
35+%: Observe & Signal Rapport by Verbal Matching
                   Tone, Pitch
                   Tempo: Speed & Cadence
                   Timbre
                   Volume
Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04            Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   47
Seminal Work:
   Richard Bandler & John Grinder,
   Frogs into Princes




   For a far easier Introduction:
   Michael Brooks,
   Instant Rapport
   (available in libraries)

   RESOURCES


Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04    Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   48
A practical application to inspire action:
   Simon Sinek
   Start With Why




   A guide leveraging Agile to transform organizations :
   Stephen Denning
   The Leader’s Guide to Radical Management

   APPLIED RESOURCES
   FOR THOSE WHO LEAD

Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04    Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   49
Bernie Maloney, CSP
PE, CSM, CSPO
Turning Strategies into Results
From Startup to Beyond $100M




       about.me/          berniemaloney
linkedin.com/in/          berniemaloney
  slideshare.net /        berniemaloney
         gplus.to/        berniemaloney
  twitter.com/#!/         berniemaloney
 Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04         Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   50
Ut Prosim. Namaste.

   FIN


Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04   Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   51
Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04   Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney   52

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201204-SVALN

  • 1. SILICON VALLEY AGILE LEADERSHIP NETWORK APRIL 10, 2012 AT Rapid Rapport: CREATING INFLUENCE ON DEMAND Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 1
  • 2. What you get: INCREASE COMMUNICATION EFFECTIVENESS UP TO 5X Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 2
  • 3. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YcTgjR5iV1Y WOULD IT BE OK TO SEE A DEMO? Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 3
  • 4. Bernie Maloney, CSP PE, CSM, CSPO Strategic Program Management matrix management = Influence without Authority Neuro Linguistic Programming Practitioner Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 4
  • 5. I’VE GOT GOOD NEWS & BAD NEWS Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 5
  • 6. Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 6
  • 7. Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 7
  • 8. Outcome: Recognize and Practice Verbal Technology to Build Rapport Fast • Why: Significance and Basis • How: Applications in Technology Teams • What’s Behind This: Get the Abstraction • Summary & Resources OUTLINE Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 8
  • 9. WHY = FIRST IMPRESSIONS MATTER Before Confirmation Bias Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 9
  • 10. Does the 1st 60 seconds really matter? Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 10
  • 11. Ever had a telemarketer call? Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 11
  • 12. & you asked to hear more? Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 12
  • 13. Even socially Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 13
  • 14. Confirmation Bias Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 14
  • 15. HOW: APPLICATIONS IN TECHNOLOGY TEAMS Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 15
  • 16. 7% Physiology Tonality 38% Words 55% Communication Goes (way, way, way) Beyond Words e.g. Ray Birdwhistle, University of Pennsylvania Verbal vectors: Tone, Pitch Tempo: Speed & Cadence Timbre Volume Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 16
  • 17. Translating into (Agile) Practice Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 17
  • 18. 7% Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 18
  • 19. 35+% Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 19
  • 20. 55% Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 20
  • 21. What if teams increase communication effectiveness by even half this? 5X? OR 10X? Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 21
  • 22. Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 22
  • 23. THE TIP? LOWER UNCONSCIOUS BARRIERS Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 23
  • 24. The Principle Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 24
  • 25. Build Rapport: Offer similar patterns Tonality (35+%!) --------------------- how people represent information – another talk Words (7%): keys to --------------------- Physiological (55%!) Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 25
  • 26. Pair off: Verbal Mirroring & Matching Keep statements short (get multiple practice exchanges) Tone, Pitch Person A: Start with a Question Tempo: Speed & Cadence Person B: Short response, using similar verbal behaviors > Question Timbre Switch roles at signal Volume Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 26
  • 27. Insights: Verbal Mirroring & Matching Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 27
  • 28. Get the Abstraction WHAT’S BEHIND THIS? Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 28
  • 29. It began in the Santa Cruz Mountains… Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 29
  • 30. Virginia Satir’s Change Model Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 30
  • 31. Principle: Success Leaves Footprints Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 31
  • 32. 2B bps info NLP MODEL OF COMMUNICATION Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 32
  • 33. 2MB (~16 Mb) (HD 1920x1080) Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 33
  • 34. Conscious Mind processes ~134 bps in groups of 2B bps info 7 +/- 2 “chunks” Delete Distort Generalize Unconscious Programming = Barrier: Friend or Foe? Fight or Flight? NLP MODEL OF COMMUNICATION Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 34
  • 35. Pair off: Layer in Physical Mirroring & Matching Keep statements short (get multiple practice exchanges) Tone, Pitch Question || Short Response || Question back Tempo: Speed & Cadence Keep movements gentle, and when noticed, offer similar behavior Timbre Volume Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 35
  • 36. Insights: Physical Mirroring & Matching Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 36
  • 37. Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 37
  • 38. BONUS (time permitting): Pacing & Leading Keep statements short (get multiple practice exchanges) Question || Short Response || Question back Keep movements gentle, once physical rapport noticed, shift a little & observe Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 38
  • 39. BONUS (time permitting): Mis-Matching Keep statements short Tone, Pitch Person A: State an insight from this or another source today Tempo: Speed & Cadence Person B: Respond using VERY DIFFERENT verbal behaviors Timbre Switch roles at signal Volume Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 39
  • 40. SUMMARY Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 40
  • 41. TWO TYPES OF STUDENTS Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 41
  • 42. Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 42
  • 43. Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 43
  • 44. DECIDE: WHICH TYPE ARE YOU? Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 44
  • 45. 7% Physiology Tonality 38% Words 55% Communication Goes (way, way, way) Beyond Words Tonality (35+%!) Words (7%): keys to how people represent information Physiological (55%!) Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 45
  • 46. Building Rapport Lowers Unconscious Barriers Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 46
  • 47. 35+%: Observe & Signal Rapport by Verbal Matching Tone, Pitch Tempo: Speed & Cadence Timbre Volume Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 47
  • 48. Seminal Work: Richard Bandler & John Grinder, Frogs into Princes For a far easier Introduction: Michael Brooks, Instant Rapport (available in libraries) RESOURCES Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 48
  • 49. A practical application to inspire action: Simon Sinek Start With Why A guide leveraging Agile to transform organizations : Stephen Denning The Leader’s Guide to Radical Management APPLIED RESOURCES FOR THOSE WHO LEAD Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 49
  • 50. Bernie Maloney, CSP PE, CSM, CSPO Turning Strategies into Results From Startup to Beyond $100M about.me/ berniemaloney linkedin.com/in/ berniemaloney slideshare.net / berniemaloney gplus.to/ berniemaloney twitter.com/#!/ berniemaloney Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 50
  • 51. Ut Prosim. Namaste. FIN Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 51
  • 52. Rapid Rapport SVALN 2012-04 Slide Deck: © 2012 B. Maloney 52