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Create Influence, On Demand

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Create Influence, On Demand

  1. 1. CREATE INFLUENCE ON DEMAND Rapid Rapport: @berniemaloney 1
  2. 2. INCREASE COMMUNICATION EFFECTIVENESS UP TO 5X What you get: @berniemaloney 2
  3. 3. WOULD IT BE OK TO SEE A DEMO? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YcTgjR5iV1Y @berniemaloney 3
  4. 4. @berniemaloney 4 Bernie Maloney, CSP PE, CSM, CSPO Master Practitioner Neuro Linguistic Programming Agile Coach Accelerating Genius Turning Strategies into Results From Startup to Beyond $100M
  5. 5. I’VE GOT GOOD NEWS & BAD NEWS @berniemaloney 5
  6. 6. @berniemaloney 6
  7. 7. @berniemaloney 7
  8. 8. OUTLINE Outcome: Recognize and Practice Verbal Technology to Create Influence On Demand • Why: Significance and Basis • How: Applications in Technology Teams • What’s Behind This: Get the Abstraction • Summary & Resources @berniemaloney 8
  9. 9. WHY = FIRST IMPRESSIONS MATTER Before Confirmation Bias @berniemaloney 9
  10. 10. Does the 1st 60 seconds really matter? @berniemaloney 10
  11. 11. Ever had a telemarketer call? @berniemaloney 11
  12. 12. & you asked to hear more? @berniemaloney 12
  13. 13. Even socially @berniemaloney 13
  14. 14. Confirmation Bias @berniemaloney 14
  15. 15. HOW: APPLICATIONS IN TECHNOLOGY TEAMS @berniemaloney 15
  16. 16. Communication Goes (way, way, way) Beyond Words e.g. Ray Birdwhistle, University of Pennsylvania Verbal vectors: @berniemaloney 16 55% 38% 7% Physiology Tonality Words Tone, Pitch Tempo: Speed & Cadence Timbre Volume
  17. 17. Translating into (Agile) Practice @berniemaloney 17
  18. 18. 7% @berniemaloney 18
  19. 19. 35+% @berniemaloney 19
  20. 20. 55% @berniemaloney 20
  21. 21. 5X? OR 10X? What if teams increase communication effectiveness by even half this? @berniemaloney 21
  22. 22. @berniemaloney 22
  23. 23. THE TIP? LOWER UNCONSCIOUS BARRIERS @berniemaloney 23
  24. 24. The Principle @berniemaloney 24
  25. 25. Build Rapport: Offer similar patterns Tonality (35+%!) Words (7%): keys to how people represent information – another talk Physiological (55%!) @berniemaloney 25 --------------------- ---------------------
  26. 26. Pair off: Verbal Mirroring & Matching Keep statements short (get multiple practice exchanges) Person A: Start with a Question Person B: Short response, using similar verbal behaviors > Question Switch roles at signal @berniemaloney 26 Tone, Pitch Tempo: Speed & Cadence Timbre Volume
  27. 27. Insights: Verbal Mirroring & Matching @berniemaloney 27
  28. 28. WHAT’S BEHIND THIS? Get the Abstraction @berniemaloney 28
  29. 29. It began in the Santa Cruz Mountains… @berniemaloney 29
  30. 30. Virginia Satir’s Change Model @berniemaloney 30
  31. 31. Principle: Success Leaves Footprints @berniemaloney 31
  32. 32. NLP MODEL OF COMMUNICATION @berniemaloney 32
  33. 33. NLP MODEL OF COMMUNICATION @berniemaloney 33 2B bps info
  34. 34. 2MB (~16 Mb) (HD 1920x1080) @berniemaloney 34
  35. 35. NLP MODEL OF COMMUNICATION @berniemaloney 35 2B bps info
  36. 36. NLP MODEL OF COMMUNICATION @berniemaloney 36 2B bps info Conscious Mind processes ~134 bps in groups of 7 +/- 2 “chunks”
  37. 37. 132 b (12 px by 11 px) @berniemaloney 37
  38. 38. NLP MODEL OF COMMUNICATION @berniemaloney 38 2B bps info Conscious Mind processes ~134 bps in groups of 7 +/- 2 “chunks” Delete Distort Generalize
  39. 39. NLP MODEL OF COMMUNICATION Unconscious Programming = Barrier: Friend or Foe? Fight or Flight? @berniemaloney 39 2B bps info Conscious Mind processes ~134 bps in groups of 7 +/- 2 “chunks” Delete Distort Generalize
  40. 40. Keep statements short (get multiple practice exchanges) Question || Short Response || Question back Keep movements gentle, and when noticed, offer similar behavior Pair off: Layer in Physical Mirroring & Matching @berniemaloney 40 Tone, Pitch Tempo: Speed & Cadence Timbre Volume
  41. 41. Insights: Physical Mirroring & Matching @berniemaloney 41
  42. 42. @berniemaloney 42
  43. 43. Keep statements short (get multiple practice exchanges) Question || Short Response || Question back Keep movements gentle, once physical rapport noticed, shift a little & observe Pair off: Pacing & Leading @berniemaloney 43
  44. 44. Insights: Pacing & Leading @berniemaloney 44
  45. 45. BONUS (time permitting): Mis-Matching Keep statements short Person A: State an insight from this or another source today Person B: Respond using VERY DIFFERENT verbal behaviors Switch roles at signal @berniemaloney 45 Tone, Pitch Tempo: Speed & Cadence Timbre Volume
  46. 46. Insights: Verbal Mis-Matching @berniemaloney 46
  47. 47. SUMMARY @berniemaloney 47
  48. 48. TWO TYPES OF STUDENTS @berniemaloney 48
  49. 49. @berniemaloney 49
  50. 50. @berniemaloney 50
  51. 51. DECIDE: WHICH TYPE ARE YOU? @berniemaloney 51
  52. 52. Communication Goes (way, way, way) Beyond Words Tonality (35+%!) Words (7%): keys to how people represent information Physiological (55%!) @berniemaloney 52 55% 38% 7% Physiology Tonality Words
  53. 53. Building Rapport Lowers Unconscious Barriers @berniemaloney 53
  54. 54. 35+%: Observe & Signal Rapport by Verbal Matching Tone, Pitch Tempo: Speed & Cadence Timbre Volume @berniemaloney 54
  55. 55. RESOURCES Seminal Work: Richard Bandler & John Grinder, Frogs into Princes For a far easier Introduction: Michael Brooks, Instant Rapport (available in libraries) @berniemaloney 55
  56. 56. APPLIED RESOURCES FOR THOSE WHO LEAD A practical application to inspire action: Simon Sinek Start With Why A guide leveraging Agile to transform organizations : Stephen Denning The Leader’s Guide to Radical Management @berniemaloney 56
  57. 57. START RIGHT NOW @berniemaloney 57
  58. 58. @berniemaloney 58 Bernie Maloney, CSP PE, CSM, CSPO bit.ly/speedmygenius Agile Coach Accelerating Genius Turning Strategies into Results From Startup to Beyond $100M
  59. 59. FIN Ut Prosim. Namaste. @berniemaloney 59
  60. 60. @berniemaloney 60
  61. 61. IMAGES • Carrot http://www.channelweb.co.uk/IMG/857/190857/carrot-on- stick.jpg • Great Dane / Terrier http://www.dogguide.net/blog/wp- content/uploads/2009/03/2082382924_fc9bcd8ece1.jpg • Soccer Practice http://www.articulosweb.net/blog/wp- content/uploads/2012/03/el-entrenamiento-de-futbol-15.jpg • Meetings http://www.jobsooq.com/uploads/career_advice_img/13972 07185_CA-4.png • Bobblehead Telemarketer http://wanderingjew.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/tel emarketer.jpg • Annoyed on Phone http://claudiabroome.com/blog/wp- content/uploads/2013/09/angry-woman.jpg • Pleased on Phone http://cf.ltkcdn.net/baby/images/std/4090-284x425- Online_showers.jpg • Speed Dating http://web.boardroominsiders.com/Portals/273391/images/s peed_dating.jpg • Math Clock http://media-cache- ec0.pinimg.com/736x/72/e4/72/72e4722fb5f68c2ad1fb8054 641a1d1b.jpg • Email Line http://www.alborsanews.com/beta/wp- content/uploads/2014/12/810.jpg • Smiling on Phone http://fordcrnagora.me/glavna_slika/ford_kontakt.jpg • Team Meeting http://www.doseofme.com/wp- content/uploads/2014/08/Development-Meeting- 600x450.jpg • Closed Gate https://www.flickr.com/photos/zenmama/1435969720/in/da teposted/ • Office Bobblehead http://s3.amazonaws.com/s3.timetoast.com/public/uploads/ photos/4620296/Dwight.jpg • Tennis http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/more-sports/venus- serena-williams-win-wimbledon-doubles-crown-article- 1.349563 • Singing https://sites.google.com/site/israel60programs/kolotpic1.JPG @berniemaloney 62
  62. 62. IMAGES • Spyglass http://www.garabatosydibujos.com/wp- content/uploads/2015/01/conocer.jpg • Santa Cruz Mountains https://s-media-cache- ak0.pinimg.com/236x/8c/71/24/8c71240963d7bfbef8afb8bd 351870b3.jpg • Satir Curve http://www.stevenmsmith.com/images/satir_graph.png • Footprints http://imagecache6.allposters.com/LRG/27/2723/8HIND00Z.j pg • Tree in Field http://p1.pichost.me/i/32/1548738.jpg • 5 Senses Composite http://www.thedailystar.net/sites/default/files/styles/big_5/ public/feature/images/senses-new.jpg • Lounging on Deck http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-KO- 7Bcy0dcM/TWazHZCTXEI/AAAAAAAAABQ/yk6t6ASGitQ/s320 /mirror1bg.jpg • Connected Head Threads http://owni.fr/files/2010/10/conversations.jpg • Cyclists http://cdn.media.cyclingnews.com/2009/11/18/1/ben_bostr om_and_manny_prado_pacing_600.jpg • Square Peg http://www.drivingretention.com/wp- content/uploads/2012/01/square-peg-round-hole- 300x225.jpg • Bookshelf http://in1.ccio.co/Z6/49/BE/273241902361347891E4uxcTUc c.jpg • Open Gate http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1129/670209311_704e524783. jpg • Frogs Into Princes http://smile.amazon.com/Frogs-into-Princes-Linguistic- Programming/dp/0911226192 • Instant Rapport http://smile.amazon.com/Instant-Rapport-Michael- Brooks/dp/0446391336 • Start with Why http://smile.amazon.com/Start-Why-Leaders-Inspire- Everyone/dp/1591846447 • Leader’s Guide to Radical Management http://smile.amazon.com/Leaders-Guide-Radical- Management-Reinventing/dp/0470548681 @berniemaloney 63

Editor's Notes

  • I’m Just Curious…

    How many could SEE a benefit in CLEARLY sharing ideas? Quick, 3s, SHOW of hands?
    Would it SOUND OK with you to HEAR how w/ 30s of technique, you’d humanely increase it by 5x? Quick, 3s, let me HEAR you say AYE?
    Last one. Who FEELS it would be FUN to WALK out today with an UNFAIR advantage? Quick, 3s, SHOW me SAY aye?

    Now, there’s good news & bad news:

    Good news is there are a lot of great sessions. Bad news is …
    - You only have 3 dots to vote;

    Chris Sims: More exercises, less depth, include perceptual awareness like: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bioyh7Gnskg STBBall
    Or http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ncJ3Uy13u8 Bank Guards
    Or http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kd2dQ26DdFQ Football
    Or http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YcTgjR5iV1Y deals
    Or http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rz-ph32CnJA bike, static picture

    Self eval:
    Improvements: * Better opening of presentation * Better lighting (projector was overwhelmed by overhead lights) * Illustrate the technique rather than jump straight to exercise * Counsel use of "library voice" * Have the slides available on the wiki ahead for latecomers * Probe for the basis of the questions (made assumption wrt Francois)
  • Also, Fundamental Attribution Error, Denning p. 42

    2004 Elections; Contradictory Statements; fMRI study at Emory Univeristy; blatantly self-contradictory statements
    fMRI study showed areas associated with REASONING were inactive in participants
    While areas associated with EMOTION were lit, including conflict resolution
    Once interpretation found to support original position, brain areas of REWARD & PLEASURE lit up – leading to reinforcement of original position
  • PAUSE FOR FINAL QUESTIONS

    Two quick surveys - Thumb voting
    Think back to your decision to come tonight, and your expectations.
    Did this presentation fail, meet or EXCEED your expectations? Thanks!
    As friends and colleagues ask about you RECOMMENDING their attendance in the future…
    Would your response be that they avoid, consider, or MUST make time? Thanks!

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