Work Life Balance Nwfs Oct 2010
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Networking Women in the Fire Service invited me to present my findings so far...
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Editor's Notes
- Five steps to a better work-life balance. This workshop will help you to identify whether your work-life balance is good, bad or downright dangerous, and will suggest some strategies for helping you to get the balance right for you. We all have our own view of what work life balance should be - and whether we get it or not is partly down to us as well as to our employers, our friends and families. We do need to look very carefully at how we work as well as whats actually happening in our workplaces.
- Most of us will notice a preference for some drivers more than others. There are varying interpretations but usually one is a stronger driver of our behaviour that others, sometimes two, and will be related to messages we received in childhood from significant adults in our life. . See if you can identify which might be yours from the brief descriptions! But don’t take it too seriously. Any theory is only any good if it actually helps you discover something helpful about yourself and there is masses more information on this topic. Your driver is most likely to show itself when you are feeling anxious, so if you can recognise what is happening you can take steps to do something about it and manage your anxieties a little better!
- Hurry Up Individuals with a strong hurry up driver will value speed. The catch is that they will rush things and be prone to starting without thinking through consequences. Hurry up people will use words like “No time to lose”, Let’s get going”, “Come on”. Their tone of voice may be rushed with words getting scrambled, and they may be delivered in a staccato like fashion accompanied by foot tapping, checking of watch etc. We Hurry Ups will get a great deal done in a short amount of time. If reports are wanted in on time we are the person to do them. However, we tend to overload our time table and take on too much. This may mean that important aspects are overlooked. We are likely to be impatient with others and often finish their sentences for them. We make only superficial changes as we are so quick to get on with things and not take an in-depth perspective. We might select priorities so quickly that a significant area is overlooked. Getting the coffee We approach the door with two cups, but the door opens towards us. Hurry Ups will juggle and balance precariously- and risk spilling it. Certainly not put one cup down, open the door, go through, put that cup down, return for the other one – that takes too long!
- Be Perfect We will put effort into getting it perfect. The catch is that some things will never be perfect and these individuals will struggle to compromise. They may adopt the traditional thinking pose in gestures, like stroking their chin, counting points off on their fingers as they speak. Their tone of voice is usually neither high nor low but well modulated and adult sounding. They may often look upwards while speaking as if seeking the perfect answer somewhere on the ceiling. We Be Perfects will be really good at doing accurate detailed reports, we will be neat in our appearance and our homes will be clean and tidy. If we have this style and are under stress it is likely that we would beat up on ourselves for not being good enough, for making a mistake, for something being out of place.. And we expect others to be perfect too which can be hard on the colleagues we work with. Getting the Coffee We carry the coffees on a tray – with a napkin to mop up any spills!
- Please People Individuals with a strong please people driver will get on with others. The catch is you can't please all the people all the time. People with a strong please people driver will often avoid confrontation which is essential in a healthy relationship. Please others language includes lots of querying words and phrases like “Alright by you?” “It’s kind of...” “Sort of...” and their voice may rise at the end of each sentence. There will be lots of head nodding, reaching out of hands, usually palms up, and smiling. Unlike a non driver smile, the smile will be tense when in ‘please others’ mode. We will be a great team member. We like to please people without even asking them how we can do this as we prefer to guess. We can see both sides of an argument and attempt to calm things down. We will be keen to do things for others, often to the point of Rescuing them. Decision making is not our strong point and we may frustrate people by not expressing our own opinion. We prefer other people to determine priorities, not us. We worry about changing our behaviour in case others won't like us. Getting the coffee We get lots of coffees for people, And rush to open the door for others And offer to carry theirs!
- Try Hard We will tend to put in a lot effort and have a lot going on. So we will take on too much and may fail to recognise opportunities to work smarter instead of harder. We say: . “What I’m trying to tell you is...” “I will try and do that” What they are saying is “I’ll try to do that “rather than “I will do that”. They may tense their throat so they sound slightly muffled. Their body language is generally hunched, leaning forward with a crumpled face. If we have the Try Hard style we are great pioneers. We love new projects and new things to do. We probably have a great wealth of information as we like to gather different ideas together. We are best working under pressure. When stressed we may start too many things. We are more likely to start things but not finish them so celebrating achievements may not happen very often. We get sidetracked by starting to experiment with different ideas or ways to do things. Getting the coffees Try Hards forget they were fetching the coffees – something more interesting has happened Or stop to oil the squeaky door
- Be Strong We 'Be Strong' will take control in a crisis not allowing emotion to get in the way. The catch being they will perceive sharing or needing support as a weakness. Phrases like “The thought strikes me that...” Distancing words like ‘one’ or ‘people’ are used when maybe they mean ‘I’. There is usually little in the way of facial or body expression and the tone can be flat. Body posture will be ‘closed’. We can take control of situations and people will often feel safe around us. The difficulty is we may come across as aloof as we don't express feelings very often.. We may stand apart from playful activities fearing we may look stupid. Instead of saying this however, it is likely that we condemn the activity as stupid and put down the person who suggested it. Getting the coffee We’ll only get coffee when we are thirsty. They’ll only carry one cup, because they’re getting for themselves. Opening the door is no problem.
- 10 - 15 minutes
- If you are a Hurry Up plan your work in stages, setting interim target dates concentrate on listening carefully to others until they have finished speaking learn relaxation techniques and use them regularly If you are a Be Perfect set realistic standards of performance and accuracy practice asking yourself what the consequences really are - do this whenever you find a mistake make a point of telling others that their mistakes are not serious If you are a Please People start asking people questions to check out what they want instead of guessing please yourself more often and ask other people for what you want practice telling other people firmly when they are wrong If you are a Try Hard stop volunteering make a plan that includes finishing a task - and then stick to that plan through to a conclusion check out the parameters of a task so that you only do what is expected If you are a Be Strong keep a task and time log so that you can monitor your workload ask other people to help you take up a spare time activity you can really enjoy
- I sent out 400 Qs to workers over the age of 45 in a metropolitan FRS, and received 113 replies. And 113 different definitions of work life balance! Differences between men and women.
- To be able to enjoy a good life outside of work, and also family friendly hours. The amount your employment effects your home life and vice versa. Trying to balance work time with enough home time.
- That I work in order to enhance my personal life, not to the detriment of my personal life. About ensuring that the amount of time spent at work or thinking about work is not excessive and does not impinge on your time out of work. Making sure I am equally as happy with my working life as well as my home life.
- Trigger signals for stress? Sleep patterns Sex, food, drink – too much, or not enough Headaches Grind your teeth Some responses: Worry about work when you’re not working? Too tired after work? No time for partner?
- Gender Neutral There is an Ideal Worker myth – strong, works all the time, loyal, with masculine competences – risk taking, and visible (like the bankers!) Policies Only work if the organisational culture is changed + managers’ discretion + it’s the way they are interpreted Global changes in work = intensification of work Team working = everyone has to work harder Individual choice Women choose to reduce their hours so must accept that their promotion is less likely What choice? Childcare costs money, may not be able to afford it? Time? Visible time is rewarded more than invisible time Why is time at work valued more than time bringing up children or studying
- Be careful if you reduce your hours that you also reduce your workload – don’t do five days work in four days for four days pay!