Simple Mentoring
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Tom Otstot's Simple Mentoring session for Toastmasters Leadership Institute Winter 2019
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Simple Mentoring
- 1. simple mentoring TOM OTSTOT, ACS ALS Unity Speakers Airpark Toastmasters Leaders for Tomorrow tomotstot@gmail.com www.tomotstot.com
- 4. simple mentoring TOM OTSTOT, ACS ALS Unity Speakers Airpark Toastmasters Leaders for Tomorrow tomotstot@gmail.com www.tomotstot.com
- 14. Friendships develop over the course of time …so does mentoring
- 17. • Understand Preferences • Talk Schedules • Identify Goals/Potential Goals • Set Guidelines • Know Roles/Responsibilities • Agree on Feedback
- 18. what a mentor is not…
- 22. Your mentee isn’t you! Don’t make them you! And don’t allow them to try to be you! Or anyone else! AUTHENTICITY!!!
- 24. what does a good mentor do?
- 27. share yourself your skills, your knowledge, your experiences… …but also your vulnerability, your failures, because it’s not just what you know, it’s how you came to know it
- 30. But what is the responsibility of the MENTEE?
- 31. It’s your job!
- 33. Show up! Be Prepared!
- 35. DANCE WITH YOUR FEAR!
- 41. SPEAK UP! • about what you don’t get… • about what your vision is – your goals… • be you!
- 42. Resources: Toastmasters International - The Successful Club Series - Mentoring 296A https://www.toastmasters.org/shop/296--Mentoring Mentoring Matters https://www.toastmasters.org/magazine/articles/mentoring-matters Leadership: The Ultimate Mentor https://www.toastmasters.org/Magazine/Articles/Leadership-The-Ultimate-Mentor New Club Mentoring Matters 218G https://www.toastmasters.org/-/media/files/department-documents/club- documents/218g-new-club-mentoring- matters.ashx?la=en&hash=0583B0D09DCC4B94479C7D1CB9E523213637DAAE
- 43. simple mentoring TOM OTSTOT, ACS ALS Unity Speakers Airpark Toastmasters Leaders for Tomorrow tomotstot@gmail.com www.tomotstot.com
Editor's Notes
- I hope you can feel the texture of my examples.
- MENTORING – HELPING OTHERS FIND THEIR HIGHEST CALLING – THEIR BEST VERSION Eventually, if we stay in it long enough, we realize WE CANNOT BE THE BEST VERSION OF OURSELVES UNTIL WE HELP OTHERS BECOME THE BEST VERSION OF THEMSELVES HOW do we do this?
- So my program is SIMPLE MENTORING, and it’s a bit different than typical TLI, let me explain why
- Make no mistake, Mentoring is the essence of leadership. It’s leadership…one on one.
- Because there is a dichotomy to everything. I talked about the dichotomy of leadership and mentoring is the same thing.
- I want to share my experience instead of nuts and bolts. You can get that anywhere on the internet. I don’t teach the science, I teach the art. Do you really want to read the textbook?
- I want to focus on the soul of mentoring. The Essence. For example…
- Your body is engineered to manipulate your environment. But without the soul, it’s worthless. Same with Mentoring and Leadership.
- But never forget Mentoring is a relationship. And I think TM gets this backwards a bit. Because…
- You can’t force this relationship. You don’t ASSIGN someone a friend, or a spouse, and I thing a mentor.
- You have to know them. Mark Brown story. Then Dan McGinnis
- You need to be able to relate, and you need to invest the time.
- Not a pet owner…you don’t impose your will…you have a different challenge:
- You aren’t their superior. You aren’t better than them, you have insights and experiences to share that will help them become better versions of themselves.
- You share yourself to help them find their own voice, their own best version. Its not about you. They have something very special inside that no one else has. We all do.
- You’re not them…and you don’t set out to transform them into you…even when they want to! They need to find their own voice.
- You don’t have to have all the answers. You need more questions.
- Provoke. Give permission. It’s ok to fail.
- You help them on their journey, but you ensure they understand this is their journey.
- You have to nudge them in the right direction.
- First and foremost, they have to take the initiative, take ownership of the process
- They have to drive the car. Its their job – No one waxes a rented car
- The mentor relationship works ONLY because the mentee DOES THE WORK.
- Nothing starts well. We get better by doing it. You’re never “ready”, there are no guarantees. Prepared is good enough. “Its not ready” is a symptom of fear.
- Fear - you are always going to feel the fear. The mistake is to run from it. Learn not to. Learn to dance with it. Replace anxiety with anticipation.
- There’s a difference between Comfort Zone and Safety Zone. Auto Workers. We start before we are capable of seeing the end.
- We all take that first step. But that’s not the step that matters.
- Everyone joins the gym Jan 1
- It's NOT that "first step". It's the last step. See it through. Be vulnerable. Be ok with Failure. Fix it and move on.