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BIOINF 2202: Dental Informatics Seminar
Instructors: Titus Schleyer, Heiko Spallek
Writing memos
By Tayyab khan
(kmu)
Center for Dental Informatics
University of Pittsburgh School of Dental Medicine 2 of 28
Why learn about writing memos?
• important form of corporate
communication
• clear and concise communication of
complex subjects
• writing style and approach applicable to
other communications, such as email
• set yourself apart from people who cannot
write
Center for Dental Informatics
University of Pittsburgh School of Dental Medicine 3 of 28
Purpose of a memo
• “solve problems” by:
– informing
– persuading
– refuting
– arguing
– analyzing
– …
• Recipients: one person, several persons,
one or more groups, a whole community
Center for Dental Informatics
University of Pittsburgh School of Dental Medicine 4 of 28
General rules
• keep your audience in mind
• follow a structure (see below)
• follow an outline
• get to the point early
• revising is easier than writing perfectly the first
time
• follow style guides and writing manuals
• budget between 20 min – 1 hr for most memos
Center for Dental Informatics
University of Pittsburgh School of Dental Medicine 5 of 28
Memo plan
Header
Subject line
Opening paragraph
Supporting
details/explanation
Closing
}
}
Center for Dental Informatics
University of Pittsburgh School of Dental Medicine 6 of 28
Header
• To: recipient (individuals and/or
groups)
• From: you/office (e.g. “Student Affairs”)/group
(e.g. “Social Committee”)
• CC: more recipient(s)
• Date:
• use correct names/designations for recipients
• include titles when appropriate, for all recipients
when possible
Center for Dental Informatics
University of Pittsburgh School of Dental Medicine 7 of 28
Subject line
• probably the most important part of your
memo
• summarize the intent of your memo, e.g.:
– “Request for assistance with grant project”
– “Consequences of recent material thefts”
• specific, concise and to the point
Center for Dental Informatics
University of Pittsburgh School of Dental Medicine 8 of 28
Opening paragraph
• complete summary of your memo
• provide:
– context
– task/action/request
– summary of the rest of the memo
• Best: put your intent into the first sentence
Center for Dental Informatics
University of Pittsburgh School of Dental Medicine 9 of 28
Supporting details/explanation
• maintain a global structure, such as
findings  implications  action items
• arrange facts in a logical order
• don’t provide more detail than necessary
• use bullet points where appropriate
• use correct structure bullet points (e.g. no
standalone bullets)
Center for Dental Informatics
University of Pittsburgh School of Dental Medicine 10 of 28
Closing
• If necessary, summarize what you want
recipient(s) to do.
• Provide clear instructions, including
deadlines where applicable.
• Provide further references/contact
information when appropriate.
Center for Dental Informatics
University of Pittsburgh School of Dental Medicine 11 of 28
In-class exercise 1: Critique a
memo
Review Institutional Advancement Memo –
Version 1 for compliance with the rules just
discussed.
Center for Dental Informatics
University of Pittsburgh School of Dental Medicine 12 of 28
Writing style
“It now appears that obligatory obfuscation is a
firm tradition within the medical profession. …
[Medical writing] is a highly skilled, calculated
attempt to confuse the reader. … A doctor feels he
might get passed over for an assistant
professorship because he wrote his papers too
clearly—because he made his ideas seem too
simple.”
Michael Crichton, NEJM
Center for Dental Informatics
University of Pittsburgh School of Dental Medicine 13 of 28
More about writing style
“There are times when the more the authors
explain, the less we understand. Apes
certainly seem capably of using language to
communicate. Whether scientists are
remains doubtful.”
Douglas Chadwick, NYT
Center for Dental Informatics
University of Pittsburgh School of Dental Medicine 14 of 28
Example
Our lack of data prevented evaluation of
state actions in targeting funds to areas in
need of assistance.
Because we lacked data, we could not
evaluate whether the state had targeted
funds to areas that needed assistance.

Center for Dental Informatics
University of Pittsburgh School of Dental Medicine 15 of 28
Clarity: Actions
• Use subjects to name your central
characters.
• Express their most important actions as
verbs.
Center for Dental Informatics
University of Pittsburgh School of Dental Medicine 16 of 28
Verb  Noun = Nominalization
Examples:
discover  discovery
resist  resistance
different  difference
proficient  proficiency
Nominalization makes for a noun-heavy writing
style that is complex and hard to understand.
Center for Dental Informatics
University of Pittsburgh School of Dental Medicine 17 of 28
How to fix it
• Diagnosis
• Analysis
• Revision
(J. Williams, Style, p. 54, 55)
Center for Dental Informatics
University of Pittsburgh School of Dental Medicine 18 of 28
Please fix:
The agency conducted an investigation into
the matter.
The agency investigated the matter.
There was first a review of the evolution of
the dorsal fin.

 First, she reviewed how the dorsal fin
evolved.
Center for Dental Informatics
University of Pittsburgh School of Dental Medicine 19 of 28
Use characters as your subjects
• A character is whatever entity you can tell
a story about, such as:
– you
– the school
– the Executive Committee
– the Democratic party
– freedom of speech
– health care costs
Center for Dental Informatics
University of Pittsburgh School of Dental Medicine 20 of 28
Active vs. passive voice
Choose the passive voice when you don’t
know who did it, your readers don’t care
who did it, or you don’t want them to know
who did it.
Center for Dental Informatics
University of Pittsburgh School of Dental Medicine 21 of 28
Example
Those who are found guilty can be fined.
Once the design was publicized, it was
widely adopted.


Center for Dental Informatics
University of Pittsburgh School of Dental Medicine 22 of 28
A style that seems complex …
• may be necessary to express complex
ideas precisely.
• may gratuitously complicate already
complex ideas.
• may gratuitously complex simple ideas.

Center for Dental Informatics
University of Pittsburgh School of Dental Medicine 23 of 28
Cohesion
• Move from old information to new.
• Arrange topics in a logical order.
• Start sentences with ideas that you have
already described, or with something you
can safely assume the reader already
knows.
• Keep your topics short and reasonably
consistent.
Center for Dental Informatics
University of Pittsburgh School of Dental Medicine 24 of 28
Syntactic complexity
• In general, readers best comprehend long
complex units after they have read a
relatively short and clear subject+verb
sequence.
• Place technical terms new to the reader
not at the beginning, but towards the end
of the sentence.
Center for Dental Informatics
University of Pittsburgh School of Dental Medicine 25 of 28
Clarity, grace and concision
• Delete words that mean little or nothing.
• Delete words that repeat other words.
• Delete words whose meaning the reader
can infer from other words.
• Replace a phrase with a word.
• Change unnecessary negatives to
affirmatives.
Center for Dental Informatics
University of Pittsburgh School of Dental Medicine 26 of 28
Thank you

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Writing memos

  • 1. BIOINF 2202: Dental Informatics Seminar Instructors: Titus Schleyer, Heiko Spallek Writing memos By Tayyab khan (kmu)
  • 2. Center for Dental Informatics University of Pittsburgh School of Dental Medicine 2 of 28 Why learn about writing memos? • important form of corporate communication • clear and concise communication of complex subjects • writing style and approach applicable to other communications, such as email • set yourself apart from people who cannot write
  • 3. Center for Dental Informatics University of Pittsburgh School of Dental Medicine 3 of 28 Purpose of a memo • “solve problems” by: – informing – persuading – refuting – arguing – analyzing – … • Recipients: one person, several persons, one or more groups, a whole community
  • 4. Center for Dental Informatics University of Pittsburgh School of Dental Medicine 4 of 28 General rules • keep your audience in mind • follow a structure (see below) • follow an outline • get to the point early • revising is easier than writing perfectly the first time • follow style guides and writing manuals • budget between 20 min – 1 hr for most memos
  • 5. Center for Dental Informatics University of Pittsburgh School of Dental Medicine 5 of 28 Memo plan Header Subject line Opening paragraph Supporting details/explanation Closing } }
  • 6. Center for Dental Informatics University of Pittsburgh School of Dental Medicine 6 of 28 Header • To: recipient (individuals and/or groups) • From: you/office (e.g. “Student Affairs”)/group (e.g. “Social Committee”) • CC: more recipient(s) • Date: • use correct names/designations for recipients • include titles when appropriate, for all recipients when possible
  • 7. Center for Dental Informatics University of Pittsburgh School of Dental Medicine 7 of 28 Subject line • probably the most important part of your memo • summarize the intent of your memo, e.g.: – “Request for assistance with grant project” – “Consequences of recent material thefts” • specific, concise and to the point
  • 8. Center for Dental Informatics University of Pittsburgh School of Dental Medicine 8 of 28 Opening paragraph • complete summary of your memo • provide: – context – task/action/request – summary of the rest of the memo • Best: put your intent into the first sentence
  • 9. Center for Dental Informatics University of Pittsburgh School of Dental Medicine 9 of 28 Supporting details/explanation • maintain a global structure, such as findings  implications  action items • arrange facts in a logical order • don’t provide more detail than necessary • use bullet points where appropriate • use correct structure bullet points (e.g. no standalone bullets)
  • 10. Center for Dental Informatics University of Pittsburgh School of Dental Medicine 10 of 28 Closing • If necessary, summarize what you want recipient(s) to do. • Provide clear instructions, including deadlines where applicable. • Provide further references/contact information when appropriate.
  • 11. Center for Dental Informatics University of Pittsburgh School of Dental Medicine 11 of 28 In-class exercise 1: Critique a memo Review Institutional Advancement Memo – Version 1 for compliance with the rules just discussed.
  • 12. Center for Dental Informatics University of Pittsburgh School of Dental Medicine 12 of 28 Writing style “It now appears that obligatory obfuscation is a firm tradition within the medical profession. … [Medical writing] is a highly skilled, calculated attempt to confuse the reader. … A doctor feels he might get passed over for an assistant professorship because he wrote his papers too clearly—because he made his ideas seem too simple.” Michael Crichton, NEJM
  • 13. Center for Dental Informatics University of Pittsburgh School of Dental Medicine 13 of 28 More about writing style “There are times when the more the authors explain, the less we understand. Apes certainly seem capably of using language to communicate. Whether scientists are remains doubtful.” Douglas Chadwick, NYT
  • 14. Center for Dental Informatics University of Pittsburgh School of Dental Medicine 14 of 28 Example Our lack of data prevented evaluation of state actions in targeting funds to areas in need of assistance. Because we lacked data, we could not evaluate whether the state had targeted funds to areas that needed assistance. 
  • 15. Center for Dental Informatics University of Pittsburgh School of Dental Medicine 15 of 28 Clarity: Actions • Use subjects to name your central characters. • Express their most important actions as verbs.
  • 16. Center for Dental Informatics University of Pittsburgh School of Dental Medicine 16 of 28 Verb  Noun = Nominalization Examples: discover  discovery resist  resistance different  difference proficient  proficiency Nominalization makes for a noun-heavy writing style that is complex and hard to understand.
  • 17. Center for Dental Informatics University of Pittsburgh School of Dental Medicine 17 of 28 How to fix it • Diagnosis • Analysis • Revision (J. Williams, Style, p. 54, 55)
  • 18. Center for Dental Informatics University of Pittsburgh School of Dental Medicine 18 of 28 Please fix: The agency conducted an investigation into the matter. The agency investigated the matter. There was first a review of the evolution of the dorsal fin.   First, she reviewed how the dorsal fin evolved.
  • 19. Center for Dental Informatics University of Pittsburgh School of Dental Medicine 19 of 28 Use characters as your subjects • A character is whatever entity you can tell a story about, such as: – you – the school – the Executive Committee – the Democratic party – freedom of speech – health care costs
  • 20. Center for Dental Informatics University of Pittsburgh School of Dental Medicine 20 of 28 Active vs. passive voice Choose the passive voice when you don’t know who did it, your readers don’t care who did it, or you don’t want them to know who did it.
  • 21. Center for Dental Informatics University of Pittsburgh School of Dental Medicine 21 of 28 Example Those who are found guilty can be fined. Once the design was publicized, it was widely adopted.  
  • 22. Center for Dental Informatics University of Pittsburgh School of Dental Medicine 22 of 28 A style that seems complex … • may be necessary to express complex ideas precisely. • may gratuitously complicate already complex ideas. • may gratuitously complex simple ideas. 
  • 23. Center for Dental Informatics University of Pittsburgh School of Dental Medicine 23 of 28 Cohesion • Move from old information to new. • Arrange topics in a logical order. • Start sentences with ideas that you have already described, or with something you can safely assume the reader already knows. • Keep your topics short and reasonably consistent.
  • 24. Center for Dental Informatics University of Pittsburgh School of Dental Medicine 24 of 28 Syntactic complexity • In general, readers best comprehend long complex units after they have read a relatively short and clear subject+verb sequence. • Place technical terms new to the reader not at the beginning, but towards the end of the sentence.
  • 25. Center for Dental Informatics University of Pittsburgh School of Dental Medicine 25 of 28 Clarity, grace and concision • Delete words that mean little or nothing. • Delete words that repeat other words. • Delete words whose meaning the reader can infer from other words. • Replace a phrase with a word. • Change unnecessary negatives to affirmatives.
  • 26. Center for Dental Informatics University of Pittsburgh School of Dental Medicine 26 of 28 Thank you