1. Bored to death
Russell Grenning
How manyof ushave beenso boredbysomethingthatwe have likenedittowatchingpaintdry?
Well boredom,likebeautyorconjunctivitis,isinthe eye of the beholder –witnessKristinGarland
whois a “colour consultant”andthe ownerof “The Painted Earth”,a custompaintstore in
Freemantle.Watchingpaintdryis,literally,abigpart of her joband, whendescribingit,she uses
wordslike “suspenseful”and“fascinating”andexultsinthe experience saying, “Sometimes your
heartis in yourhands.”
Well,Icouldn’tbe happierforKristinif Itriedbut,nevertheless ..well youknow whatImean.
I hope that I am notboringyou whenIreveal toyou that there are quite a lotof people –research
academicsverylargelyand,incidentally,verypredictably –whoare jostlingforthe title of the
world’sforemostexpertonboredom.Whatexcitinglivestheymustlead!
Currently,the frontrunnerisProfessorPeterTooheyof GalgaryUniversityinCanadawhoexcited –if
that isthe rightword – the fascinatingworldof boredomexpertswithhisseminal work, “Boredom:
A Lively History” in 2011. I don’tthinkthat there hasbeena clamourfor the filmrightsalthoughI
can thinkof any numberof boringactors whowouldbe ideal as the lead.
Andno, I haven’treadthistome.Life isjusttooshort,isn’tit?
Our veryownDr JuanitaFerosRuys,a SydneyUniversityhistorianatthe “Centrefor the History of
Emotions” - yes,yourtaxesat work – believesthatmedieval monkswere,tocoinaphrase,the
foundingfathersof boredom. Itseems,forthem, akindof holinessfatigue setinaroundlunchtime
and that this “noonday devil”wasseenasa majorproblem.Called “acedia”, iteventookitsplace
amongthe sevendeadlysinsasthe precursorof sloth.
Expertsseemtoagree that if there isone absolutelyessential pre-conditiontoboredom, itsspare
time.Originally,itisargued,boredommotivatedpeople tostayalertand keepmovingbutnot
nowadays.Today,boredomisdescribedasapowerful andunrelievedsense of emptinessand
isolationwhich,initsextreme form,isclose todepressionanddespair.
It was while reflectinguponthis,thatIhappenedacrossanEnglishmanJamesWardwhowritesa
blog, “I like boring things”.
I hope I am not insultinghimwhenIdescribe himasinteresting andwhata treasure trove of boring
thingshisblogreveals.He listsrecentbookshe haspurchased – fascinatingvolumeslike “The
AestheticAspectof Civil Engineering Design” and “Cocoa Bean Tests 1961/62”. He bringsalive
perhapsotherwise neglectedsitessuchas “Yes, Peas!”whichisrun by some growers’outfitinthe
UK and whichrevealsutterlyastoundingfactssuchasit wouldtake 390,096,154 average diameter
peasto outline the Britishcoast. He investigatesgreatissuesliketoast.
Andhe doesthrillingreviewsof jollyinterestingbookssuchas “Adventuresin Stationary:A journey
through yourpencilcase”.

2. Mr Ward evenrunsan annual conference aboutboringthingsinthe UK – whichisalways soldout–
announcing, “Doorsopen at10.30am and thingswill getboring around 11am.The event will finish
around 5pm,and then you are free to get on with the rest of yourlives.”
I wouldbe agog if I couldattendandAustralianeedsmore gogs.That’sone of my mostinteresting
funremarksunlesssomebodyfindsit boring.
There wasa particularly interestingtime inmyprofessionallifewhenI attendedpublicservice
conferences –I coveredthe gamutfromStandingCommittees,AdHocWorkingParties, Strategic
DirectionsPlanningGroupsandInter-departmentalLiaisonInteractionCouncils. Myfavourite was
an Ad Hoc AgendaPrioritising Committeewhichhadthe taskof prioritisingthe agendaand
suggestingintegratedwhole-of-governmentstrategicdirectionsforthe Ministerial Advisory
Committee.
All veryinteresting,of course,andIwouldgohome convincedthatI had putin a prettysolideffort
improvingthe livesof ordinarylittlepeople.Of course,everydayIwouldarrive onthe dot at 8.30am
and departon the dot at 5pm, have hamand saladsandwichesforluncheveryday,IcedVovosfor
everymorningandafternoonteaandlife was sointeresting. How couldanybodybe boredwiththat
agenda?
“Scientific American”, the US journal at the cuttingedge of everythingscientific,hassome very
interestingarticlesaboutboredom.
“Boredom,like so many quirksof the brain,remainsa mystery.Onestep towardsunravelling itwould
be to develop bettertools to measureboredom.Theremighteven be different types,ranging from
the existential,alwayspresentennui,to the transienttoe-tapping kind,”one piece read.
Wouldn’tfindingnew toolstomeasure boredombe fun?Itwouldn’tsurprise me if itsucha task
wouldneedtobeginwithanAdHock Multi-DisciplinaryGoal SettingPeer-ReviewedStrategic
DirectionsWorkingGroup.