Marriage Conference

1. Love AndRespect
Ephesians 5:22–33
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PASTOR ED and KIM

2. Ephesians 5:22–33
22 Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to
the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the
wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He
Himself being the Savior of the body. 24 But as the
church is subject to Christ, so also the wives
ought to be to their husbands in everything. 25
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also
loved the church and gave Himself up for her,
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3. Ephesians 5:22–33
26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed
her by the washing of water with the word, 27 that
He might present to Himself the church in all her
glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing;
but that she would be holy and blameless. 28 So
husbands ought also to love their own wives as
their own bodies. He who loves his own wife
loves himself; 29 for no one ever hated his own
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4. Ephesians 5:22–33
flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ
also does the church, 30 because we are members
of His body. 31 FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS
FATHER AND MOTHER AND SHALL BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE,
AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH. 32 This
mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference
to Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless, each
individual among you also is to love his own wife
4

5. Ephesians 5:22–33
even as himself, and the wife must see to it that
she respects her husband.
5

6. Love AndRespect
Ephesians 5:22–33
6
PASTOR ED and KIM

7. Dude Dad
Valen Times Day
7

8. Key Verse
Nevertheless, each individual among
you also is to love his own wife even
as himself, and the wife must see to it
that she respects her husband.
Ephesians 5:33 8

9. Two Commands
1.Husbands love
your wives
2.Wives respect
your husbands
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10. Characteristics of a husband’s love
Agape
Unconditional
Self sacrificing
Transformative
Highest Form of Love
10

11. God doesn’t waste commands
It is not in a
man’s
nature to
be loving
11

12. Characteristics of a wife’s respect
Phobeo to treat with reverence or deference
A type of the Church
To yield to one’s admonition or advice.
Military term-under the command of a leader
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13. What is Respect?
13
Unconditional POSITIVE regard
toward his spirit. It is
SEPARATE from his
performance.

14. God doesn’t waste
commands
It is not in a
woman’s nature
to be respectful
to her husband
14

15. [The man] who is married is concerned
about the things of the world, how he
may please his wife…[the married
woman] is concerned about the things of
the world, how she may please her
husband
1 Corinthians 7:33-34b 15

16. Pink Glasses,
Megaphone, Hearing
Aids & Video
Not
surprisingly
the woman
sees things
differently
than a man
16

17. Pink
The wife code
Mother
Conflict resolution
17

18. Blue Glasses, Megaphone
Hearing Aids & Video
Not surprisingly
the man sees
things
differently than
a woman
18

19. Blue
Honor code
Fight or flight
Stonewall
19

20. Without love she reacts without respect
Without respect he reacts without love
Crazy cycle
20

21. Respect
The mother tongue of men
21

22. National Survey of 400 men
Had to choose one:
A. to be left alone and unloved in the world.
B. to feel inadequate and disrespected by
everyone.
74% would choose A.)
22

23. Love the language of women
Relational
Connectivity
Desire is for her husband
23

24. Benefit of showing respect
In the same way, you wives, be submissive
to your own husbands so that even if any
of them are disobedient to the word, they
may be won without a word by the
behavior of their wives, as they observe
your chaste and respectful behavior.
1 Peter 3:1–2 24

25. Motivation for Love & Respect
As unto the Lord
Not merit based
Not transactional
25

26. Get on the rewarded cycle
Work toward Love and respect
26

27. For Men Only!
27

28. Closeness cleaving
For this reason a man shall leave
his father and his mother, and be
joined to his wife; and they shall
become one flesh.
Genesis 2:24 28

29. Closeness Cleaving
When a man takes a new wife, he shall not
go out with the army nor be charged with
any duty; he shall be free at home one
year and shall give happiness to his wife…
Deuteronomy 24:5 29

30. Examples
 Holding
hands
 Hug
 Affection 30

31. Openness
Husbands, love your wives
and do not be embittered
against them.
Colossians 3:19 31

32. Examples
Share feelings
Talk about
your day
Ideas for
future
32

33. Understanding
You husbands in the same way, live with
your wives in an understanding way, as
with someone weaker, since she is a
woman; and show her honor as a fellow
heir of the grace of life, so that your
prayers will not be hindered.
1 Peter 3:7 33

34. Examples
 Listen
 Don’t fix
 Reflect
34

35. Peacemaking
But if you marry, you have not sinned;
and if a virgin marries, she has not
sinned. Yet such will have trouble in
this life, and I am trying to spare you.
35

36. Examples
I’m sorry
I was wrong
Don't say “just drop it!”
36

37. Loyalty
GOD, not you, made marriage. His Spirit
inhabits even the smallest details of
marriage. And what does he want from
marriage? Children of God, that’s what.
So guard the spirit of marriage within
you. Don’t cheat on your spouse.
Malachi 2:15–16 (The Message) 37

38. Loyalty
I hate divorce,” says the GOD of Israel.
GOD-of-the-Angel-Armies says, "I hate the
violent dismembering of the ‘one flesh’
of marriage.” So watch yourselves. Don’t
let your guard down. Don’t cheat.
Malachi 2:15–16 (The Message) 38

39. Examples
Speak well of her around others
Don’t look at other women
Call and let her know your plans
39

40. Esteem
Her children rise up and bless her;
Her husband also, and he praises
her, saying: “Many daughters have
done nobly, But you excel them all.”
Proverbs 31:28–29 40

41. Examples
 Say, “I’m proud of the
way you handled that”
 Encourage her with
enthusiasm
 Value her opinion
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42. Now what is a wife to do?
Respect?
42

43. C.H.A.I.R.S
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44. 44
Conquest
Hierarchy
Authority
Insight
Relationship
Sexuality
C.H.A.I.R.S.

45. C- Conquest
Conquest – the natural inborn desire of the man
to go and “conquer” the challenges of his world-
to work and achieve.
Genesis 2:15 “ The Lord God took the man and
put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take
care of it”…
45

46. Some examples to honor his need for Conquest
Thank Him for working.
• Tell him you value his efforts.
• Listen to his work stories as intently as you
expect him to listen to your stories.
• Express your faith in him related to his chosen
field.
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47. H is for Hierarchy
Appreciate His Desire to Protect and Provide
Biblical Hierarchy states that the husband is the
head of the wife, not to be lorded over her, but to
protect. It is a heavy responsibility.
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48. A- Authority
Appreciate His Desire
to Serve and to Lead
He has been given the
authority to lead.
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49.  Appreciate His Desire
to Analyze and Counsel
 Realize because he is
different does not
mean inferior.
 He has giftings as well
as you.
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I- Insight

50. R-Relationship
Appreciate His Desire for Shoulder-to-Shoulder
Friendship
Philippians 2:4 As a wife, “ you should look not
only to your own interests” but also to you
husband’s shoulder-to-shoulder Interests”
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51. S-Sexuality
Appreciate His Desire for Sexual Intimacy
Stop depriving one another, except by agreement
for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to
prayer, and come together again so that Satan
will not tempt you because of you lack of self-
control.
1 Corinthians 7: 5
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52. 52
Reflection of
God. The
purpose of
marriage
Meaning of Purple… they come Together

53. Love AndRespect
Ephesians 5:22–33
53
PASTOR ED and KIM