Baseline Review

1. #OUJ3700
Ditching Passive
Ditching Jargon

2. What can Ben Affleck teach you
about strategic communication
writing?

3. OVERVIEW
HOW DID I GRADE THIS?
• If you handed the assignment in on time,
you received full credit.
• Remember formatting.
• Save word file Farkas-something.
• Your name should be on every page.
• Send me a word file.

4. two major issues
Bleed
Lead

5. Two other things to
think about
• Passive
• Look for forms of “to be.”
• Look for “by.”
• Remember the zombie test
• Jargon

6. THINGS TO THINK
ABOUT
• Remember the notes I talked about in
class. I mentioned them for a reason.
• Read copy aloud
• First State Bank was robbed this morning.
• Was stolen from register.
• Witness say
• Diet Coke break

7. HOW I WOULD WRITE
THIS STORY
A suspected bank robber is in jail after an early morning
heist in Smithville.
Police believe Ronnie Jones, 38, of Springdale walked into
the First State Bank, told the teller he had a weapon and
demanded money.
The suspect left with about $10,000 and fled to a
neighborhood north of the bank.
An hour later, police found Jones and a sack containing
the money.
A judge set his bail at $100,000.

8. HOW I WOULD WRITE
THIS STORY
• I wrote 71 words.
• The copy I have you was 141
words.
• SVO writing, passive voice and
critical thinking cut the copy
nearly 50% without sacrificing
critical content.

9. Proofing theory
• When you review a document, look
for one thing.
•Spelling
•Grammar
•Punctuation
•Passive voice/SVO

10. Mark ragan
comma rules
1. If you combine two full
sentences with a conjunction,
you need a comma. Example:
John writes press releases, and Jill
writes business blogs.

11. Mark ragan
comma rules
2. If you begin your sentence with an
introductory phrase, you need a
comma. Example: Although I am
adept at writing press releases, I need
assistance in sending them out to
news outlets.

12. Mark ragan
comma rules
3. If you include a series of nouns in
your sentence, set them off with
commas. Example: Press releases,
blogs and Web content are all useful
for your small business.

13. Mark ragan
comma rules
4. If you include extra information, set
it off with commas. Example: Bill,
who is a pretty decent writer, handles
all my business blogging needs.

14. Mark ragan
comma rules
5. If you have a quotation in a sentence,
you need a comma.
Example A: Bill told his friend, "Business
blogging is all about thinking outside the
box."
Example B: "I really need to get this press
release sent out," Bill said.

15. Quiz details
• The quiz will be Thursday.
• It will be 8 short answer questions
• Six are worth two points.
• Two are worth four points.
• There will be ten sentences to correct for
passive voice. Each will be worth two
points.