3. ANGER CONTROL PLAN
First you must create a plan that will work for you “your own
toolbox” and specific strategies being “the tools”.
Sample of an Anger Control Plan
1. Take a timeout (formal or informal)
2. Talk to a friend (someone you trust)
3. Use the Conflict Resolution Model
4. Exercise (take a walk, go to the gym)
5. Attend 12-step meetings
6. Explore primary feelings beneath the anger
4. CUES TO ANGER
Physical Cues
• Example: rapid heart beat, tightness in chest,
feeling hot or flushed
Behavioral Cues
• Example: clenched fists, raising voice, staring
Emotional Cues
• Example: fear, hurt, jealousy, guilt
Cognitive Cues
• Example: hostile self-talk, images of aggression
and revenge
5. Event: what caused my anger
Cues: how do I know I’m angry
&
Strategies Identified: This is what I did to control it
Events Cues Strategies
6. A-B-C-D MODEL
A = Activating Situation or Event.
B = Belief System: What you tell yourself about
the event (your self-talk). Your beliefs and
expectations of others.
C = Consequence: how you feel about the event
based on your self-talk.
D = Dispute: Examine your beliefs and
expectations. Are they unrealistic or irrational?
8. CONFLICT RESOLUTION MODEL
1. Identify the problem that is causing the conflict.
2. Identify the feelings that are associated with the
conflict.
3. Identify the impact of the problem that is
causing the conflict.
4. Decide whether to resolve the conflict.
5. Work for resolution of the conflict.
– How would you like the problem solved?
– Is a compromise needed?
9. COMMUNICATION SKILLS
Alternatives to anger and violence is effective
communication.
We can avoid violence by learning to express our
needs, wants, hopes and desires clearly and
caringly.
We can listen to other people and hear what they
have to say.
10. COMMUNICATION SKILLS
Respecting them as well as ourselves is a part of
the process.
We can learn how to identify problems working
together to change situations that make us
angry and unhappy.
11. ANGER MANAGEMENT TECHNIQUES
Anger Management Technique #1 – Recognize Stress
This anger control tool emphasizes the importance of understanding how
stress underlies anger and how to reduce stress before it turns into anger.
Anger Management Technique #2 – Develop Empathy
The anger control skill focuses on the relationship between empathy and
anger management and how one can reduce his/her anger by learning how to
see things from the perspective of others.
12. TECHNIQUES CONTINUED
Anger Management Technique #3 – Respond Instead of
React
This anger management technique enables one to respond rather than
automatically react to anger/stress triggers. Human beings have the capacity
to choose how to express their anger and therefore can learn new ways to
more effectively communicate their needs, feelings or requests.
Anger Management Technique #4 – Change That
Conversation With Yourself
This anger control technique involves learning to recognize and modify one’s
inner conversations. Learning to change that “self-talk” empowers you to deal
with anger more effectively in terms of how strongly you feel the anger, how
long you hold onto your anger, and how you express your anger.
13. TECHNIQUES CONTINUED
Anger Management Technique #5 – Communicate
Assertively
This anger management skill is about being able to honestly and
effectively communicate how you feel and to respond to things without
getting angry or hostile about it.
Anger Management Technique #6 – Adjust Expectations
Anger is often triggered by a discrepancy between what we expect and what we
get. Learning to adjust those expectations – sometimes upward and other times
downward – can help us cope with difficult situations or people or even cope
with ourselves.
14. TECHNIQUES CONTINUED
Anger Management Technique #7 – Forgive, but Don’t
Forget
Resentment is a form of anger that does more damage to the holder than the
offender. Making a decision to “let go” (while still protecting ourselves) is
often a process of forgiveness – or at least acceptance – and a major step
toward anger control.
Anger Management Technique #8 – Retreat & Think
Things Over
This anger management tool consists of removing yourself from the situation
and taking a temporary “time-out” while sticking to some basic rules.